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(8,995 posts)
Thu Dec 7, 2023, 03:44 PM Dec 7

BIL who molested me as a preteen/teen is dying [View all]

I feel badly for my dear sister but him...well I'm feeling some kind of way about that. He's a scoundrel who sucked the life out of my sister for 50+ years. I can't afford to go see her as this is happening but her children are there and my older brother will be there (he's retired - I'm not yet).

I have been calling her regularly and will continue to do so, hopefully get a Zoom chat or some such over Xmas.

Her Christmas will be a grim one, but we are all rallying around her, as is her church, which she participates in regularly as she is very religious. She's a good person but is a RWer and bigoted, sexist (ie: abortion etc) as they are. But I do feel for her losing her man of 50+ years. She is not one who likes being alone.

As for him, I don't want him to suffer either. I'd not wish that on anyone. He is getting the drugs needed to pass peacefully with her and his son/daughter around. But, I have no feeling about his passage. Indifference about that abounds, knowing what a scoundrel and bloodsucking vampire he was to her over the years. I know she's heartbroken but she may be better off without him.

I guess I'm a nasty person for that. I do love my sister though she is MAGA, she would be there for me if she could, so from a distance I'm trying to be a moral support for her as I am able.

But that scoundrel of a spouse of hers....just....emotional radio silence. The man is a dirtbag. My sister deserved MUCH BETTER.

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*HUGS* TSExile Dec 7 #1
Thank you. CousinIT Dec 7 #3
No... Think. Again. Dec 7 #18
I am hoping that without his MAGA brainwashing... CousinIT Dec 7 #27
Heavens. I can really appreciate the conflicted feelings but it sounds like you are trying to hlthe2b Dec 7 #2
I have learned to live with the fact that.. CousinIT Dec 7 #7
He should have been prosecuted for statutory rape! Your sister married that POS? Amazing that Ziggysmom Dec 7 #19
Yes he should have been prosecuted. And I was not his only instance ... CousinIT Dec 7 #26
I had a nasty brother in law who used to put me and my husband down kimbutgar Dec 7 #4
Yes I have been trying not to be happy ... CousinIT Dec 7 #9
ok to be happy about the passing of an abuser MadameButterfly Dec 7 #14
No, you are not a nasty person. You are human. redqueen Dec 7 #5
Thank you. Good advice. CousinIT Dec 7 #10
I'm so sorry. MorbidButterflyTat Dec 7 #6
my advice? WhiteTara Dec 7 #8
Hmm....Have a one-person party. CousinIT Dec 7 #11
Kind of on topic BOSSHOG Dec 7 #13
That sounds awesome! I hope they do exactly as you said. CousinIT Dec 7 #25
I don't think you're a nasty person at all. IMO, the fact that you're so reflective petronius Dec 7 #12
My hat's off to you. pandr32 Dec 7 #15
You are holding the high ground. Best of luck through the process. Chainfire Dec 7 #16
"a good person but is a RWer and bigoted, sexist" JoseBalow Dec 7 #17
She is kind and giving to her family (most of the time) CousinIT Dec 7 #22
My wife spent time this summer with her dying father, who had sexually.... 70sEraVet Dec 7 #20
Wow. It is sad to see them sick, old and feeble.. CousinIT Dec 7 #23
You sound like a . . . people Dec 7 #21
I wish they thought so! CousinIT Dec 7 #24
I'm so sorry for your sense of loss...... essaynnc Dec 7 #28
My God, you are a wonderful person... Joinfortmill Dec 7 #29
You are not a "nasty person". LoisB Dec 7 #30
Loving your sister despite her MAGA politics shows you're a better person Warpy Dec 7 #31
There's nothing bad about calling out people for exactly what they are canuckledragger Dec 7 #32
I don't blame you. I have alcoholics in my family too and would not tolerate that CousinIT Dec 7 #34
My sister and I didn't mourn, we felt relief. ArkansasDemocrat1 Dec 7 #33
The pedophile is gone CousinIT Dec 8 #35
His time has come. Goddessartist Dec 8 #36
I plan to. CousinIT Dec 8 #37
Yay! Goddessartist Dec 8 #38
Huggggs. You are not a nasty person. Your feelings, or lack thereof, are yours, niyad Dec 8 #39
I am disappointed she married that shit CousinIT Dec 8 #40
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