It is very common for caregivers to end up in serious illness shortly after the one they cared for is gone. For me it was heart bypass. I gulped Advil for an achy back. Little 70 yr old woman doing all the heavy lifting in a hurry while he slept so he would not know. Add the stress. Even a well cooked meal at home was gulped down. Even with help it was overwhelming. Even with hospice.

You are afraid to leave the house even for a walk. That's when it happens. The day he left me I kept avoiding going to the RR because I knew we were close. A nephew came by for a visit and I used the moment to run to the RR. That's when it happened. No sooner than he passed the covid came. I didn't have any long term friends left to see me through the darkest days. I am not complaining. Thank goodness for DU and an online support group. I got through it and my new friends mean even that much more to me now. The children of my siblings even more so.

I am only sharing because Deuxcents is right. Caregivers are great at self neglect for the sake of the one who needs them. Everyone tells us we aren't any good to anyone if we break down. They teach first responders to save themselves first for a reason.

Holidays are rough on a lot of people. Please remember you matter. Come to DU if you have to and we can trash MAGA together or share stupid cat pics. Whatever it takes.