General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Data Gathering Poll - Do Men Enjoy Looking at Women? [View all]qwlauren35
(6,255 posts)There was a time when I loved having men look at me. And then I got older, and fatter, and felt uncomfortable about my looks. Right now, I do not enjoy looking at photos that capture "my bulk", but in general, I am happy with myself. I wear a bit of eyeshadow to keep from looking "tired", but that's it. The clothes I wear when I'm not working are clothes that I look at and like, and I'm not even sure that they always look good on me, but I don't care. I prefer to camouflage my midsection and plentiful behind but that just means wearing clothes my size.
People's physical appearance changes over time, and people who trade on it find themselves having a less marketable product as time goes on, although in my mind, women in their 40's and 50's often look better than they did in their early years.
I *love* looking at women, and I *love* looking at men, and I don't think it's unnatural. It does not surprise me that an attractive woman in an ad gets a straight man's attention. And the advertisement industry knows it, and uses it to full advantage.
When I got into this "discussion" recently, I pointed out that a peacock expects to be looked at. Is designed to be looked at. And is not the only such species. I really think that looking at the sex you're interested in is one of the most normal things in the world.
Where it gets sticky is when a man makes unwelcome noises or advances. In my opinion, as long as we teach women to say "no", and teach men to accept "no", we've done what's possible and life continues. By anecdotal evidence, hook-ups at the workplace are common, so there are men asking and women saying yes pretty much any place, any time, anywhere. And before they ask, men are usually "looking".
I think the bombardment of advertising products that make women feel imperfect is a very, very bad thing. And I think men not taking no for an answer is just plain wrong. I also hate when men approach a woman who is wearing a wedding ring. Although, anecdotal evidence says that some married women are "available".
But to insist that men not look seems contrary to nature. OK, so you don't like being looked at, you don't like being approached. You don't even like compliments. There are ways to project a "don't approach me" image that all but the densest or rudest men can figure out. As a young feminist, I bought into the "don't objectify women" idea. But as I get older, I think we have to help men understand the difference between looking and objectifying. And let them know that looking is okay.