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qwlauren35

(6,255 posts)
13. I hear you.
Fri Jul 15, 2022, 11:20 PM
Jul 2022

There was a time when I loved having men look at me. And then I got older, and fatter, and felt uncomfortable about my looks. Right now, I do not enjoy looking at photos that capture "my bulk", but in general, I am happy with myself. I wear a bit of eyeshadow to keep from looking "tired", but that's it. The clothes I wear when I'm not working are clothes that I look at and like, and I'm not even sure that they always look good on me, but I don't care. I prefer to camouflage my midsection and plentiful behind but that just means wearing clothes my size.

People's physical appearance changes over time, and people who trade on it find themselves having a less marketable product as time goes on, although in my mind, women in their 40's and 50's often look better than they did in their early years.

I *love* looking at women, and I *love* looking at men, and I don't think it's unnatural. It does not surprise me that an attractive woman in an ad gets a straight man's attention. And the advertisement industry knows it, and uses it to full advantage.

When I got into this "discussion" recently, I pointed out that a peacock expects to be looked at. Is designed to be looked at. And is not the only such species. I really think that looking at the sex you're interested in is one of the most normal things in the world.

Where it gets sticky is when a man makes unwelcome noises or advances. In my opinion, as long as we teach women to say "no", and teach men to accept "no", we've done what's possible and life continues. By anecdotal evidence, hook-ups at the workplace are common, so there are men asking and women saying yes pretty much any place, any time, anywhere. And before they ask, men are usually "looking".

I think the bombardment of advertising products that make women feel imperfect is a very, very bad thing. And I think men not taking no for an answer is just plain wrong. I also hate when men approach a woman who is wearing a wedding ring. Although, anecdotal evidence says that some married women are "available".

But to insist that men not look seems contrary to nature. OK, so you don't like being looked at, you don't like being approached. You don't even like compliments. There are ways to project a "don't approach me" image that all but the densest or rudest men can figure out. As a young feminist, I bought into the "don't objectify women" idea. But as I get older, I think we have to help men understand the difference between looking and objectifying. And let them know that looking is okay.


I'm a straight male and pass on this poll. Lochloosa Jul 2022 #1
Should allow multiple responses HelpImSurrounded Jul 2022 #2
Hmmmm... qwlauren35 Jul 2022 #5
In a single line? I doubt it HelpImSurrounded Jul 2022 #10
I can relate to practically everything you've written True Dough Jul 2022 #19
Hey! Dirty old men need love too... Wounded Bear Jul 2022 #31
Wait a second, Wounded Bear True Dough Jul 2022 #32
Nope, more like this guy... Wounded Bear Jul 2022 #33
Other mvd Jul 2022 #3
No idea but I'm a straight woman and I notice nice looking men. Phoenix61 Jul 2022 #4
I hear you. qwlauren35 Jul 2022 #13
The photoshopping of either sex annoys me. Phoenix61 Jul 2022 #15
Well said Doc Sportello Jul 2022 #26
I passed because I simply enjoy looking at people - I enjoy the diversity of looks, clothes, NewHendoLib Jul 2022 #6
I'm a straight male... House of Roberts Jul 2022 #7
I'll check what I typed. Sorry. qwlauren35 Jul 2022 #14
What about the "I'm a gay male and I enjoy looking at women that I find attractive" option? TexasTowelie Jul 2022 #8
As I've gotten older I think it's kind of creepy when I check out younger women captain queeg Jul 2022 #9
Well gay texan Jul 2022 #11
I've gone on group model shoots a few times edbermac Jul 2022 #12
I understand the need for cosmetic surgery and even implants... Wounded Bear Jul 2022 #35
I think you need to go back to what your friend actually wrote. meadowlander Jul 2022 #16
+1 LizBeth Jul 2022 #22
+1 demmiblue Jul 2022 #23
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 (nt) petronius Jul 2022 #17
Well yeah. BlueTsunami2018 Jul 2022 #18
Where is - "I am a gay woman and I enjoy looking at women. Period"? OhZone Jul 2022 #20
I'm going to ramble a bit... and probably make a few people very angry. Layzeebeaver Jul 2022 #21
I'm a straight, old woman. I stared at two men, openly. It was in Venice and I was crossing the CTyankee Jul 2022 #24
What the fuck is this shit right here WhiskeyGrinder Jul 2022 #25
Yep. Iggo Jul 2022 #30
I am a straight male and I enjoy looking at all sorts of people - I am a photographer GoneOffShore Jul 2022 #27
Much more rewarding watching flowers 48656c6c6f20 Jul 2022 #28
I thought it couldn't get dumber than the Ivana threads. Iggo Jul 2022 #29
I won't ForgedCrank Jul 2022 #34
Leering makes women uncomfortable. I suggest men stop doing it. boston bean Jul 2022 #36
Yes it's DU newdayneeded Jul 2022 #38
Especially at the nude beach Polybius Jul 2022 #39
Yeah. Just another grenade rolled into the room. Iggo Jul 2022 #40
There's nothing wrong with straight men looking at women, especially women they highplainsdem Jul 2022 #37
After a review by forum hosts....LOCKING Omaha Steve Jul 2022 #41
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