General Discussion

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)

16. Do NOT allow them to move in with you!

Mon Jan 4, 2021, 10:34 AM

Jan 2021

Addiction is a monster & people struggling frequently steal, cause legal problems, etc. For those closest to them.

Tell counselor to find them a half-way house.

I cannot even begin to tell you the problems addicts living with relatives have caused for well-intentioned family members trying to help.

Do not rish your marriage, financial security &/or sanity.

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68 replies

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OK, DUers- I need advice, and this is not a political post [View all] essme Jan 2021 OP

Al-anon, yes! roody Jan 2021 #1

There is also a Narcotics Anonymous for drug addiction. tblue37 Jan 2021 #28

Al anon has been a life saver for my sister. redstatebluegirl Jan 2021 #2

That's what we are so afraid of essme Jan 2021 #3

Start with al anon for you they need to finish treatment. I personally would not let them move in lunasun Jan 2021 #13

My nephew was a sweet sweet young man before redstatebluegirl Jan 2021 #17

"Make sure that there isn't anything to steal" Horse with no Name Jan 2021 #39

What do they want in terms of help janterry Jan 2021 #4

They are in a methadone clinic essme Jan 2021 #7

also, a bit of a piggyback on what others are suggesting janterry Jan 2021 #14

I don't know essme Jan 2021 #21

Good advice! I also replied downthread and included the Alanon website link in my post: Rhiannon12866 Jan 2021 #67

I think Al-anon and some family therapy for you & your Husband KarenS Jan 2021 #5

Thank you essme Jan 2021 #11

Do NOT allow them to move in with you. You are not qualified to take on this very complex mental ARPad95 Jan 2021 #6

Thank you- and you are correct, we are not qualified essme Jan 2021 #8

You're welcome! The alarm bell went off when you made this excuse for them... ARPad95 Jan 2021 #22

Thank you! essme Jan 2021 #30

I think learning about the Karpman Drama Triangle may be very beneficial for you & your husband. ARPad95 Jan 2021 #58

This is excellent! forthemiddle Jan 2021 #61

I second the warning... handmade34 Jan 2021 #26

Our beloved addict transitioned to a group home that was staffed OhNo-Really Jan 2021 #9

Thank you essme Jan 2021 #15

You're welcome. I know well the stomach stress of loving an addict. OhNo-Really Jan 2021 #54

Oh my, I'm so sorry. Joinfortmill Jan 2021 #10

Oh my, I'm so sorry. Joinfortmill Jan 2021 #12

Do NOT allow them to move in with you! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #16

I strongly second this. Much as you want to help them. this will just make your life unlivable. Squinch Jan 2021 #35

The chaos & legal ramifications are endless! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #40

Be careful and keep your distance 4Q2u2 Jan 2021 #18

all i can say is- i feel ya. dealing w my son. mopinko Jan 2021 #19

NO POWER OF ATTORNEY! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #42

ah. good point. mopinko Jan 2021 #44

Not unless they are intellectually incapacitated SheltieLover Jan 2021 #47

well, they sound mentally incapacitated to me. mopinko Jan 2021 #49

I'm not a lawyer either, but have facilitated a lot of conference calls SheltieLover Jan 2021 #51

yup. mopinko Jan 2021 #52

So sorry to hear this, Mo! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #63

While I agree about not taking on the moonscape Jan 2021 #62

I've been doing SMART Recovery meetings for a couple years. bif Jan 2021 #20

Good for you, Bif! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #48

It hurts to hear this but... Jirel Jan 2021 #23

Do they have resources to go to a sober living program? If they don't perhaps Salvation Army or some tulipsandroses Jan 2021 #24

Do not advise you to let them move in with you. They are in their 40's. judesedit Jan 2021 #25

I want to thank everyone that has answered this post essme Jan 2021 #27

Alanon is a start dclarston13 Jan 2021 #29

There are many short books you might read to help orient yourselves before you act. BComplex Jan 2021 #31

Thank you for the book title- I am going to download it on my kindle essme Jan 2021 #34

First, establish boundaries. Addiction affects the family, and addicts care first for their fix ismnotwasm Jan 2021 #32

Al-anon is good. It helped my family members. 58Sunliner Jan 2021 #33

Just the fact that you are wondering if they should move in tells me you should DEFINITELY go to Squinch Jan 2021 #36

You may want to mouse around in this area of the boards... Wounded Bear Jan 2021 #37

21 years on board of a halfway house gibraltar72 Jan 2021 #38

"Keeping your self healthy and safe allows you to do a better job helping others" lostnfound Jan 2021 #41

Methadone treatment is a long-term one SheltieLover Jan 2021 #43

I've been on Suboxone and methadone Turin_C3PO Jan 2021 #46

I don't have much advice Turin_C3PO Jan 2021 #45

Do not under any circumstances allow them to Phoenix61 Jan 2021 #50

Addiction: They've become "your problem" already. VOX Jan 2021 #53

As has been said already, do NOT let them into your home. DO NOT!!!! Stinky The Clown Jan 2021 #55

Absolutley yes, Al Anon for you. Immediately! Amaryllis Jan 2021 #56

For The Love Of God RobinA Jan 2021 #57

Check into sober living. Cbus Girl Jan 2021 #59

DO NOT Move Them In! Things will come up missing, fighting, possible robberies, eviction issues. TheBlackAdder Jan 2021 #60

I want to thank everyone again that answered this post essme Jan 2021 #64

You've gotten some good advice here and I also recommend Alanon Rhiannon12866 Jan 2021 #65

They lost me after the mysteriously burned down trailer ecstatic Jan 2021 #66

I wouldn't let them move in. EndlessWire Jan 2021 #68