1. Coronavirus pandemic
2. The economic collapse
3. Russian bounties
4. Secret police abducting protesters

and a bonus issue:

5. Mary Trump and her mesmerizing book, which has the capacity to do more damage than the dozen most popular Trump Failure books that came before it. (i.e., really what we're talking about here is his mental incapacity to be president)

He'll throw stuff all over his crib trying to take our eyes off these things. He'll smear yoghurt on his face and make a poo-poo on the Resolute Desk to distract us.