If someone complains that they have been discriminated against on the basis of sex, it is not up to us to say they haven't because it may not seem clear enough or extreme enough. I was referring to third parties (like us) blaming sexism, when reading about actions and events, not a recipient or the accuser.

I m a 64-year-old woman who has been angry about sexism my whole life. I was hurt when I was told my childhood desire to join the volunteer fire department could never happen, but I could be in the Ladies Auxiliary instead. I smoldered when my father told me I would not be able to find a husband because I was no longer a virgin. I didn't marry my husband until after seven years of cohabitation (and two babies!) because I didn't want to be dismissed as somebody's wife, rather than dealt with as an independent person. And 'living together' was rather shocking in my day. I fumed over not being able to have credit in my name, and having subcontracters ask to talk to my husband when I was organizing construction of our house. And don't even get me started on sexual invasions and assaults!

It goes on and on and never ends. But my point is that we all deal with things differently. My personality is such that I value strength probably far more that I should. And I abhor victimhood. The way I deal with all this is pretty much 'f**k you, you are not going to crush me.' And that is the lens through which I see someone say that Nancy - who I am just idolizing at the moment - is a victim of sexism and it just makes me see red.