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Sat May 4, 2019, 02:28 PM

I was asked for a joke describing the difference between D's and R's... [View all]

This is what I sent.

A hurricane caused a billion dollars in damage to public infrastructure like bridges, roads and parks. The Republican president called a special session of Congress to discuss how to fix it.

A Democratic Congressman stood up. “Mr. President, I recommend we send the 10th Mountain Division, a fleet of dump trucks and loaders, and a team from the Army Corps of Engineers to the disaster area. While the 10th Mountain is busy running refugee camps and removing debris, the Corps of Engineers will decide what needs to be fixed and how much it’ll cost. Then we fund the reconstruction effort using tax dollars. It’s simple and efficient, and we’ve done it before so we know exactly how. I estimate the total outlay to be $1.2 billion and it’ll take a year to completely recover.”

A Republican Congressman then took the podium. “Mr. President, I recommend that instead of sending Government Welfare to the disaster area, we set up a Faith Based Private Sector Disaster Relief Charity and cut taxes on the population segment earning more than $500,000 per year by $5 billion. The people who receive this tax cut will be so grateful, they will donate all of it to the charity. It will only take six months to recover under my plan.”

Because the president is a Republican, he naturally selects the second option. Six months later, roughly $75 million has been donated to the charity. It took 75 percent of the donated total as “administrative costs” and the rest of the money was embezzled. None of the money ever made it to the disaster area. Eight months after the disaster happened, the 10th Mountain and the Corps of Engineers were finally deployed. The report from the Engineers commander was grim: “Due to inexplicable delays in starting work and subsequent damage due to weather conditions in the relief area, construction costs will likely be at least triple what they would have been if reconstruction would have started immediately after the hurricane.” It took three years to rebuild. The total bill for recovery came to $7 billion, in addition to the $5 billion tax cut, and 25 percent of the population of the area moved away because they couldn’t stand to live there any longer.

Wait. That’s not a joke. That’s how Republicans really do business.

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Reply I was asked for a joke describing the difference between D's and R's... [View all]
jmowreader May 2019 OP
dawg day May 2019 #1
lunatica May 2019 #2
Brawndo May 2019 #3
marble falls May 2019 #4
Poiuyt May 2019 #12
sandensea May 2019 #5
TlalocW May 2019 #6
jmowreader May 2019 #14
ProudProgressiveNow May 2019 #7
mountain grammy May 2019 #8
onethatcares May 2019 #9
jmowreader May 2019 #10
sharedvalues May 2019 #11
elocs May 2019 #13