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Neema

(1,151 posts)
97. I have a different perspective than I did years ago.
Mon Apr 15, 2019, 12:03 PM
Apr 2019

A close relative of mine discovered her husband was a sex addict a few years ago. I've known both of them for a very long time and love them both. And it was clear to me how much they love each other. He positively adores her, in fact. So this was a huge shock and a really hard thing to understand. But they worked through it, and he has worked SO HARD on himself to understand his addiction, its root causes and how to avoid the pitfalls for the rest of his life. I firmly believe he is changed and I am so rooting for both of them.

Now, his addiction didn't go as far as Tiger's, but then he doesn't have the incredible wealth and access to beautiful women who are attracted to such wealth. I imagine it was all so easy for Tiger, like opening up a web browser.

So there is part of me that wants to hope that Tiger has worked on this addiction and is making his amends and his way. Who knows, maybe he's not. Maybe his a total asshole. I don't know him. But I know it is possible.

It's complicated! Ohiogal Apr 2019 #1
Birds of a feather, and all that. aka-chmeee Apr 2019 #7
As Eastwood says in Unforgiven exboyfil Apr 2019 #23
I watched the entire thing. Scarsdale Apr 2019 #35
Tiger is not the one who slept with other golfers' wives. He slept with women other than his wife. brush Apr 2019 #153
Tiger slept with Scarsdale Apr 2019 #164
She was Dufner's ex-wife. brush Apr 2019 #165
You are so right, its complicated. vishnura Apr 2019 #72
Sometimes the past should be left where it belongs. democratisphere Apr 2019 #2
Isn't that what the MeToo movement sought to overcome? dem4decades Apr 2019 #4
That is what I thought, too. CTyankee Apr 2019 #14
I think your last sentence says it all, CTyankee. kag Apr 2019 #62
Some people have a tendency to live in the past and wallow in it. democratisphere Apr 2019 #15
Some people are traumatized by their past mountain grammy Apr 2019 #39
Eventually a person must move forward or rot in the past. democratisphere Apr 2019 #41
Thank you grammy! smirkymonkey Apr 2019 #85
I don't think it is ever really past and certainly not forgotten... CTyankee Apr 2019 #6
I agree wholeheartedly. The first and lead story on the justhanginon Apr 2019 #3
Why is it your job to "forgive" him? Dave Starsky Apr 2019 #5
It isn't. But it has been thrust upon me by a show that I watch for news and information. CTyankee Apr 2019 #8
Change the channel. Or, even better, turn the bloody thing off. Dave Starsky Apr 2019 #13
I usually like the show but what the hell...I coulda just muted it... CTyankee Apr 2019 #17
Indeed. Dave Starsky Apr 2019 #19
This is what I don't get either. What women besides his wife did he hurt? They all knew he was Solomon Apr 2019 #16
Tell that to Scarsdale Apr 2019 #37
Did Mrs Dufner forget she was married? malachi Apr 2019 #78
Tiger apparently Scarsdale Apr 2019 #88
If a married woman cheats.. MicaelS Apr 2019 #79
That is not true. Scarsdale Apr 2019 #89
Whoremonger. MicaelS Apr 2019 #92
Men do not congratulate each other for cheating. Inkfreak Apr 2019 #106
well, at least according to an anonymous source in the National Enquirer fishwax Apr 2019 #113
She was Duffner's ex-wife. brush Apr 2019 #154
Did he rehabilitate himself? Do you know what he's doing now? He just had a big payday... PeeJ52 Apr 2019 #69
we don't allow redemption any more?? So we have to suffer thru eternal jeopardy?? beachbum bob Apr 2019 #9
I agree ebbie15644 Apr 2019 #12
Bingo SharonClark Apr 2019 #32
That is not what I said but oh well, let's just move on and celebrate... CTyankee Apr 2019 #18
didn't say forget, but forgiveness is suppose to be who we are. Either we have redemption or not beachbum bob Apr 2019 #21
What women and men did he hurt besides his wife? Solomon Apr 2019 #28
Reread your post, that is what you said. SharonClark Apr 2019 #33
I do not believe he should be punshied forever. CTyankee Apr 2019 #105
What exactly has he done to redeem himself? He recovered from injuries...that's redeeming? nt UniteFightBack Apr 2019 #10
You're not alone! 50 Shades Of Blue Apr 2019 #11
Really, that is all personal baggage and none of any of our business. Tipperary Apr 2019 #20
That was my first thought too. safeinOhio Apr 2019 #38
I guess you feel the same way about Donald Trump then too. llmart Apr 2019 #77
Number 1: Tiger is a golfer, not a president. Tipperary Apr 2019 #121
Infidelity is not so great a crime that redemption is unthinkable MaryMagdaline Apr 2019 #22
+1 padah513 Apr 2019 #128
Americans have become so puritanical and hyper judgmental kennetha Apr 2019 #24
Yeah, right. Scarsdale Apr 2019 #40
Well most Americans voted against Trump. kennetha Apr 2019 #46
How do you know how people voted? watoos Apr 2019 #55
They count the votes and announce them kennetha Apr 2019 #57
We have some real Puritans on this site. It always surprises me, but really it should not. Tipperary Apr 2019 #52
Yes those women should just get over it, right? EllieBC Apr 2019 #169
Except for his wife, those women knew who he was. Tipperary Apr 2019 #170
This line of thinking is so poorly conceived True Dough Apr 2019 #54
Excuses excuses for not standing up for yourself. kennetha Apr 2019 #59
Anyone who is willing to go to court to seek justice True Dough Apr 2019 #63
So End Of The Road Apr 2019 #25
First off, I rooted for Tiger, watoos Apr 2019 #26
I really focused on that myself. TNNurse Apr 2019 #34
The PGA ruled nearly 20 years ago that a mock turtle neck is technically a collar hack89 Apr 2019 #49
Yes and they changed the rule to include "apparel marketed as gold attire" underpants Apr 2019 #60
Maybe because he is Tiger Woods, and you are not? Tipperary Apr 2019 #53
Male-based cultures rank people on a ladder delisen Apr 2019 #27
How do you feel about Bill Clinton or JFK's philandering? progressoid Apr 2019 #29
Both those presidents were Scarsdale Apr 2019 #42
So the fact that they both had affairs is immaterial as long as the people supported them? progressoid Apr 2019 #56
No, not at all. Scarsdale Apr 2019 #87
I thought we were talking about Tiger Woods? progressoid Apr 2019 #140
I was. Scarsdale Apr 2019 #141
No. Was I supposed to? CTyankee Apr 2019 #91
That's cool. progressoid Apr 2019 #117
Let's just say he shot a good game and leave JFK and Clinton out of it. CTyankee Apr 2019 #119
It was up to Hillary and Jackie to forgive them, not me, not you. nt dflprincess Apr 2019 #157
I agree. n/t progressoid Apr 2019 #162
I think tRump loves him more for being an adulterer than just being a good golfer... PeeJ52 Apr 2019 #30
I don't really follow this stuff Codeine Apr 2019 #31
It was more than "an affair". kag Apr 2019 #70
If he was actually abusive then fuck him, Codeine Apr 2019 #86
Where the hell are you getting this from? You're making shit up. Solomon Apr 2019 #149
Tiger Woods can never be compared to Albert Schweitzer, but there were NEVER any bullwinkle428 Apr 2019 #155
My bad. kag Apr 2019 #163
Nope. He was not abusive to his wife. It is rumored however that she clocked him with a 6 iron... brush Apr 2019 #156
isn't he divorced ? and it's not really our business JI7 Apr 2019 #36
Exactly what I was thinking! Mossfern Apr 2019 #43
I don't see why his personal failings have anything to do with his golfing talent/skill. Honeycombe8 Apr 2019 #44
I think you can celebrate his win without throwing mud at him AND it doesn't mean all is forgiven pdsimdars Apr 2019 #45
My answer to your second question is, IMO, nothing. His golf game is his golf game and I don't CTyankee Apr 2019 #103
Yes, you're being picky Blue_Tires Apr 2019 #47
You know a lot more than I do. I never heard of the $500million payout. CTyankee Apr 2019 #150
I'm going to celebrate by buying as many hookers and doing as much coke as I can! Va Lefty Apr 2019 #48
Save the receipts. You might be able to deduct those as medical expenses. NT mahatmakanejeeves Apr 2019 #50
We should be celebrating people turning their lives around. cbdo2007 Apr 2019 #51
You are honoring the women, but... zaj Apr 2019 #58
Yes, he might. I was writing about the coverage of him on this particular show. CTyankee Apr 2019 #104
NO -- You are being realistic JT45242 Apr 2019 #61
That is really disturbing. smirkymonkey Apr 2019 #93
I had no idea that he did all that. Thanks for putting it out there here on DU. CTyankee Apr 2019 #100
You still have no idea that any of that is true. Vinnie From Indy Apr 2019 #147
Why should anyone believe you? Vinnie From Indy Apr 2019 #143
I know, right? People can write anything on du and posters will believe it. Tipperary Apr 2019 #145
Curious which hotel and which tournament? Tipperary Apr 2019 #146
Don't know if I believe that. Word gets out on golfers who stiff people. Matt Kucher was roundly... brush Apr 2019 #158
He is who he is patphil Apr 2019 #64
Tiger Woods, the golfer? OneBro Apr 2019 #65
I don't care about his golf game and am not a fan of stoning folks... CTyankee Apr 2019 #108
Who cares about his personal life? PJMcK Apr 2019 #66
You can respect the athelete but not the man if you want nini Apr 2019 #67
Wasn't he the victim of some domestic violence event involving his wife? SweetieD Apr 2019 #68
Oh, I agree with what you just wrote in this post. You are arguing with nobody. CTyankee Apr 2019 #109
He won it fair and square. Doesn't make him a hero or a punk. yellowcanine Apr 2019 #71
I don't regard him as a "hero" nor do I say he's a punk. CTyankee Apr 2019 #110
Sorry but you used the term "hero" and implied the "punk" part. yellowcanine Apr 2019 #112
Lawdy miss Clawdy, I don't even use the term "punk." CTyankee Apr 2019 #114
He brought most of his problems on himself sdfernando Apr 2019 #73
No, you aren't being "picky" and I agree with you 100%. llmart Apr 2019 #74
This whole topic seems ridiculous cubbies01 Apr 2019 #75
This. Mersky Apr 2019 #84
+1000 Vinnie From Indy Apr 2019 #144
Men do not cheat alone. MicaelS Apr 2019 #76
So he cheated on his wife, who divorced him, and he later got a DUI for driving on medication. Calista241 Apr 2019 #80
No need to forgive anything. I don't think he seeks MY forgiveness, anyway. JustABozoOnThisBus Apr 2019 #81
No Matter How High Mankind Soars, There Is Always a Negative Nellie Waiting to Rain on His Parade! DoctorJoJo Apr 2019 #82
Crabs in a bucket. MicaelS Apr 2019 #94
When I am watching a sporting event, a movie,a symphony or an opera Cold War Spook Apr 2019 #83
For the holier-than-thou crowd...where do you stand on Tom Brady and fidelity? Moostache Apr 2019 #90
Actually, I hate Tom Brady for numerous reasons. smirkymonkey Apr 2019 #96
Tiger is a porn-addicted marriage cheat, not a rapist or sexual assaulter Tarc Apr 2019 #95
He owned it. Let him go on with his life redstateblues Apr 2019 #151
I have a different perspective than I did years ago. Neema Apr 2019 #97
His wounds were entirely self inflicted RhodeIslandOne Apr 2019 #98
Yup, "Entirely Self Inflicted". jayfish Apr 2019 #111
Wow, I never knew all of that. MicaelS Apr 2019 #115
A Professionsal Golf Swing... jayfish Apr 2019 #116
Well, Trump identifies with him RhodeIslandOne Apr 2019 #124
So what? MicaelS Apr 2019 #125
He had a bad back and cheated on his wife RhodeIslandOne Apr 2019 #127
He is "just a great golfer". MicaelS Apr 2019 #129
I'd Wager He's Done More For The World Than You or I Ever Will. jayfish Apr 2019 #130
Sidling up to a man who will do more to destroy black America than anyone? RhodeIslandOne Apr 2019 #131
Jesus Christ! jayfish Apr 2019 #132
It's "disrespectful" to even ask him about Trump? RhodeIslandOne Apr 2019 #133
Yes, it is. jayfish Apr 2019 #136
Yeah, back injuries made me cheat on my wife. RhodeIslandOne Apr 2019 #123
Why is it that society needs to enforce Tiger Woods's morality? Oneironaut Apr 2019 #99
Obama is okay with it Shrek Apr 2019 #101
He promotes a sport which poisons streams and rivers jberryhill Apr 2019 #102
His personal problems in life are not for us to forgive. Inkfreak Apr 2019 #107
Of course. It's fine that he won the game. CTyankee Apr 2019 #118
Or you could be like me and give zero fucks about professional golf. Initech Apr 2019 #120
Golf is really boring. I dunno how people even play it. CTyankee Apr 2019 #122
I have no problems playing golf. Initech Apr 2019 #126
If you play you can pick up tips watching the pros. I for one learned that in the backswing... brush Apr 2019 #168
Actually playing golf with others of equal ability is fun. You're out in nature. There's wildlife... brush Apr 2019 #161
I used to walk on a footpath through the Yale Golf Course here in New Haven. It was about 3 CTyankee Apr 2019 #166
amen.. right up there with baseball & tennis SoCalDem Apr 2019 #135
The escapades of humans should probably be filed in the "Shit Happens" file SoCalDem Apr 2019 #134
This message was self-deleted by its author happy feet Apr 2019 #137
Oh, I agree with you. It was the report on Morning Joe I was talking about. CTyankee Apr 2019 #138
I'm indifferent Jimbo S Apr 2019 #139
Your post reflects more negatively on your character than Tiger's. Vinnie From Indy Apr 2019 #142
Read my original post. I got the information I was talking about on Morning Joe. CTyankee Apr 2019 #148
A lot of church ladies chiming in redstateblues Apr 2019 #152
Tiger Woods has shown the world that he is a narcissistic prick. milestogo Apr 2019 #159
He is a jerk and worse Ferrets are Cool Apr 2019 #160
He's pals with Trump, so fuck him. BlueStater Apr 2019 #167
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