General Discussion

Merlot

(9,696 posts)

23. No need to say it, indeed.

Tue Oct 9, 2018, 11:06 AM

Oct 2018

She should stay inside all day and pretend she's not there. She should also not go outside for any reason. Groceries, who needs 'em?

She should...
She should...
She should...
She should...

Or maybe YOU should realize that women have a right to lead their lives how they see fit. Sometimes no matter how good the intentions and precautions, bad things slip through. But more often than not, things work out ok.

Any advice for women without husbands?

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187 replies

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Highlight:

Selling dryer Buyer says he can get it out if I help Fuck it I pick up a side Then I see look on his [View all] jodymarie aimee Oct 2018 OP

I'm sorry. I'm just really sorry. Girard442 Oct 2018 #1

This message was self-deleted by its author Hugin Oct 2018 #2

I do believe the point is... malthaussen Oct 2018 #6

This message was self-deleted by its author Hugin Oct 2018 #8

She also clearly stated... malthaussen Oct 2018 #13

This message was self-deleted by its author Hugin Oct 2018 #16

This message was self-deleted by its author still_one Oct 2018 #3

Better idea might be for men to quit being such creeps camartinwv Oct 2018 #15

My God, I was making a helpful suggestion and you say I am victim blaming. still_one Oct 2018 #36

I hope you're still around. Check out how the thread has progressed. cwydro Oct 2018 #130

No, much WORSE happened. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #169

she was not asking for advice, however helpful you think you were being. niyad Oct 2018 #131

Welcome to DU, camartinwv. calimary Oct 2018 #173

No need to say it, indeed. Merlot Oct 2018 #23

It is advice I do myself. But that's fine. I have been accussed of "victimizing" the OP, which is still_one Oct 2018 #43

People love the excuse to gang up. cwydro Oct 2018 #51

Thanks cwydro. I need a break from here, and everything else going on right now anyway still_one Oct 2018 #52

come back very soon Grasswire2 Oct 2018 #60

I hear you. Just take a break if you need to. cwydro Oct 2018 #81

Don't leave lunatica Oct 2018 #56

You have a perfect right to take whatever risks the real world puts in your path Joe Chi Minh Oct 2018 #161

If there was no need to say it, WHY SAY IT? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #45

This is my last post here, and I am gone. I was giving advice that I give for myself, but instead still_one Oct 2018 #50

That must have been tough to write. malthaussen Oct 2018 #4

You did nothing at all to bring this on yourself. We're in a new normal and you ... marble falls Oct 2018 #5

I don't think I understand your post? TeapotInATempest Oct 2018 #20

The difference is it went from patriarchal (not good but reparable) to depredation ... marble falls Oct 2018 #25

As a woman, no, I don't think it's increasing. TeapotInATempest Oct 2018 #30

Violence isn't increasing, women are speaking up more Merlot Oct 2018 #32

I agree. Just like hearing about missing kids. We know instantly a child missing 1000 miles away. 7962 Oct 2018 #96

No, it's always been this bad, women are talking about it a lot more than they used to. nt raccoon Oct 2018 #87

This isn't a "new normal" and has nothing to do with politics Merlot Oct 2018 #26

I'm a 61 year old female..... mudstump Oct 2018 #100

Wow what a nightmare jcgoldie Oct 2018 #7

Sending you my support, jodymarie... RobertDevereaux Oct 2018 #9

I believe you...n/t bluecollar2 Oct 2018 #10

Thanks for telling your story.. Permanut Oct 2018 #11

You were conned. The Wizard Oct 2018 #12

Tough times our DU'er Corgigal Oct 2018 #14

Great idea. cate94 Oct 2018 #19

You all know this post and it's story are NOT something that happened to the DUer who posted it. Liberal In Texas Oct 2018 #68

THANK YOU. nt raccoon Oct 2018 #90

You're wasting posts. Hugin Oct 2018 #97

This thread is going to be epic. Kaleva Oct 2018 #118

And I only learned it by rereading the thread and saw the DUers who caught it. cwydro Oct 2018 #119

Um no, his comments amounted to victim blaming. Kinda like how you attempted to smear the OP. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #172

"Epic"? Why are you trying to shit on this thread? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #145

Opps, Corgigal Oct 2018 #146

Yes, it is a scary story, but it happens every day to women. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #153

Just out of curiosity... malthaussen Oct 2018 #157

EXCELLENT SUGGESTION !!!!! Haggis for Breakfast Oct 2018 #175

Listen cate94 Oct 2018 #17

Hear, hear. TeapotInATempest Oct 2018 #21

yes - she used the best weapon Locrian Oct 2018 #71

Remember the old adage: Go with your first mind? Your instincts were correct... brush Oct 2018 #18

He probably wanted to "case the joint" onlyadream Oct 2018 #41

What a terrible feeling, that moment where you realize the danger you're in. TeapotInATempest Oct 2018 #22

I am glad you did not have a worse outcome. That being said, it was a sexual assault. 58Sunliner Oct 2018 #24

"...those women who could turn fear to strength. I'm not one..." Texin Oct 2018 #27

I totally understand the sizing up, doing the figuring in your head, holding your breath BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2018 #28

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Lonestarblue Oct 2018 #29

I am so sorry for what happened to you. (Also, pink tax) Ilsa Oct 2018 #31

Yeah, the pink tax. TeapotInATempest Oct 2018 #34

Exactly. nt SunSeeker Oct 2018 #48

Your story terrifies me and I am a man with a wife and 2 daughters and 2 sons. I told the story Pepsidog Oct 2018 #33

When my kids were small mercuryblues Oct 2018 #93

Very good advice Pepsidog Oct 2018 #149

JFC! So glad that weren't hurt jmbar2 Oct 2018 #35

What did your husband do/say when you looked out the window and said it was the guy? cwydro Oct 2018 #37

I'm glad you didn't get physically hurt and I'm sorry for the psychological trauma you went through. iscooterliberally Oct 2018 #38

I always put things on the drive way so they don't even have to meet me. onlyadream Oct 2018 #40

I do that sometimes too, but it has been raining a lot where I live. iscooterliberally Oct 2018 #44

Wow, I really saw myself in you. onlyadream Oct 2018 #39

Precautions men & women take to avoid being the victim of a violent crime is similar Kaleva Oct 2018 #42

Holy crap, do you live in a bad neighborhood or something? cwydro Oct 2018 #47

Taking steps to reduce to chances of being a victim reduces fear of being one. Kaleva Oct 2018 #59

I'm just curious as to why you have that much fear. cwydro Oct 2018 #83

Why did you think I have much fear? Kaleva Oct 2018 #94

Some statistics you forgot to mention... -Steph- Oct 2018 #54

You also forgot to mention of race of the men? Why? Kaleva Oct 2018 #57

Your post implied women and men are equally the victims of violent crime. They're not. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #67

I didn't imply it. I provided a link that backs up what I said. Kaleva Oct 2018 #76

Similar steps like you? Getting a gun? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #91

If a person thinks that good choice for them. Kaleva Oct 2018 #101

Oy. nt SunSeeker Oct 2018 #102

Some have dogs. roody Oct 2018 #155

Dogs are actually good for you, unlike guns. nt SunSeeker Oct 2018 #171

He also forgot to mention how many assaults against women go unreported. 58Sunliner Oct 2018 #180

Bringing guns into a home does NOT make a woman safer! SunSeeker Oct 2018 #58

Where did I suggest women get a gun for protection? Kaleva Oct 2018 #61

Your brag about what "precautions" you do, Kaleva. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #70

Again I ask, where did I suggest women get a gun? Kaleva Oct 2018 #78

Why bring up guns in your list of "precautions" post? Why even go there? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #79

Because that's what I do. Why would you want me to lie and say something different? Kaleva Oct 2018 #85

And how the fuck is that helpful? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #103

Your'e the one that keeps bringing it up. Kaleva Oct 2018 #105

You're not looking very hard. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #108

The OP just cut and paste something written by SaraSuze @tragedythyme Kaleva Oct 2018 #114

It happened to someone. Hence my response. Way to miss the point. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #116

You said this to the OP "Thank you for sharing your harrowing ecperience with that perv." Kaleva Oct 2018 #117

Several people commented that way, even using the OP's name. cwydro Oct 2018 #120

I'm not going to complain about the OP as the name of the author is in the very 1st line! Kaleva Oct 2018 #127

Very true. But she's not responded to any of the questions or expressions of concern. cwydro Oct 2018 #133

I've known the OP for a couple of years and I don't think she meant for us to make this mistake. Kaleva Oct 2018 #135

I WAS A RAPE VICTIM 4 SEPARATE TIMES BY 4 DIFFERENT MEN..my story.... jodymarie aimee Oct 2018 #165

OFFS. SO WHAT, Kaleva? I am talking to the person in the piece. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #121

Why so hostile to this poster? I asked him questions to, but you seem to have a problem with his cwydro Oct 2018 #122

Why are YOU so hostile to ME? Why do you feel compelled to defend him? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #124

I only asked you a question. Where do you see hostility? cwydro Oct 2018 #126

You are all over this thread shitting on the OP with "lol's" - suggesting it is suspect. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #136

The OP was not the survivor referenced in the original post. cwydro Oct 2018 #147

That doesn't make the OP's content, or the thread discussion, any less valid. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #150

Please read this and tell me the "term" you're thinking of, cwydro: SunSeeker Oct 2018 #170

Just how does one here talk to another who isn't even a member of DU? Kaleva Oct 2018 #125

Lol, thank you. cwydro Oct 2018 #129

The OP is not required to engage. Do you have a problem with the OP content? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #134

Every DUer is anonymous. So what? We "correspond" to lots of folks not here. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #132

I don't see any post in that thread saying something like "I'm so sorry to hear you have cancer!" Kaleva Oct 2018 #138

They are speaking directly to Mazie, THAT IS THE POINT. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #140

It didn't even happen to the OP lol. cwydro Oct 2018 #106

I did miss that! But my point in my first post remains the same. Kaleva Oct 2018 #112

Interestingly, I don't think the OP has responded to a single comment. cwydro Oct 2018 #123

"Funny, that." You REALLY think this is funny? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #137

"Funny" has many meanings in our wonderful language. cwydro Oct 2018 #148

I am not surprised by your evasive response. nt SunSeeker Oct 2018 #151

I WAS A RAPE VICTIM 4 SEPARATE TIMES BY 4 DIFFERENT MEN..my story.... jodymarie aimee Oct 2018 #163

Thank you for posting that, jodymarie aimee. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #166

Even if it didn't happen to the OP, it happens to millions of women. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #139

And trump apologizes to Kavanaugh for the hearings. Motherfucker. Paladin Oct 2018 #46

Glad you're okay. You have his phone number, right? More_Cowbell Oct 2018 #49

Thank you for sharing. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #53

I am so sorry for your experience Moostache Oct 2018 #55

I'm sorry this happened to you oldtime dfl_er Oct 2018 #62

I am so sorry you went through this. FM123 Oct 2018 #63

So sorry this happened to you catrose Oct 2018 #64

I needed to see this story today. logosoco Oct 2018 #65

What are you talking about? It's always been this way. It's just that now women raccoon Oct 2018 #99

yes, and the women I have known most always have talked about it. But now that it is more mainstream logosoco Oct 2018 #113

What a horror. I'm one of those "empowered " females, secondwind Oct 2018 #66

Empowered RobinA Oct 2018 #152

What an extraordinary story PatSeg Oct 2018 #69

+1 grantcart Oct 2018 #73

Remember, if you have a smart phone with voice command, 3Hotdogs Oct 2018 #72

Wow, jodymarie, really glad that you're okay. kag Oct 2018 #74

Please rethink something Silver1 Oct 2018 #75

I love this story oldtime dfl_er Oct 2018 #77

omg..glad you are ok.. HipChick Oct 2018 #80

Scary Faux pas Oct 2018 #82

Reminds me of when I have to go to the hospital for something Ohiogal Oct 2018 #84

I am so very sorry that you went through this truly scary experience. niyad Oct 2018 #86

Have felt the same before LittleGirl Oct 2018 #88

So sorry this happened peggysue2 Oct 2018 #107

Here's a virtual hug IronLionZion Oct 2018 #89

My big wish when reading your story was that you were ahead of him on the stairs so you could have Maraya1969 Oct 2018 #92

Thank you for sharing this radical noodle Oct 2018 #95

How awful! I'm sorry that happened to you. MineralMan Oct 2018 #98

It didn't happen to the OP. See post 68. cwydro Oct 2018 #109

Well, the same goes for whomever it happened to. MineralMan Oct 2018 #110

As a man, due to my occupation, who has been in many houses alone with women, Canoe52 Oct 2018 #104

What a brilliant post. And detailed. Joe Chi Minh Oct 2018 #159

Thank you so much renate Oct 2018 #186

I almost didn't open this thread. You're bolder than you may give yourself BeckyDem Oct 2018 #111

The scary part is how common the story is for women. Solly Mack Oct 2018 #115

I'm embarrassed to be male sometimes. Ligyron Oct 2018 #128

I have been single most of my adult life, so I have workmen in the house often. Honeycombe8 Oct 2018 #141

Pathetic that we have to go to these lengths, isn't it? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #143

Why haven't you explained to Honeycombe8 how dangerous it is for there to be a gun in the house? Kaleva Oct 2018 #162

OFFS. Why haven't you apologized to the OP? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #167

Why? You ought to apologise for distracting from her message. Kaleva Oct 2018 #176

I have been supporting her and reinforcing her point, unlike you. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #178

A majority of your posts in this thread are attacking others. Kaleva Oct 2018 #181

Project much? SunSeeker Oct 2018 #182

Then why didn't you say that to honeycombe8? Kaleva Oct 2018 #183

Because her post involved a larger point, unlike your posts. SunSeeker Oct 2018 #184

"Bringing guns into a home does NOT make a woman safer!" " Kaleva Oct 2018 #164

I just really have never thought about what we women do, daily, to try and stay safe meadowlark5 Oct 2018 #142

I'm so sorry this happened to you EffieBlack Oct 2018 #144

Yes, as a man I didn't realize this until I thought about it later as an adult... jimlup Oct 2018 #154

I have always had a dog in my house HelenWheels Oct 2018 #156

In this very un-ideal world, you must be Joe Chi Minh Oct 2018 #158

I'm watching my grandkids, so a quick reply Marthe48 Oct 2018 #160

You caught a lucky break coeur_de_lion Oct 2018 #168

Assuming you were getting rid of the old dryer because you replaced it with a new one cstanleytech Oct 2018 #174

Reasonable Fear Chitowncutie Oct 2018 #177

I had an anxiety attack reading this. mountain grammy Oct 2018 #179

I'm unbelievably sorry this happened to you. PatrickforO Oct 2018 #185

Thank you for sharing. That is a frightening experience. Nitram Oct 2018 #187