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Sat Jul 28, 2012, 11:21 AM

'NBC' 'Viera' 'Lauer' 'Costas' 'Superlative' 'Captivating' 'Commentary'...Hey Matt, Meredith, Bob: [View all]

I'm almost certain that you or your underpaid minions will be Googling these words within the next few days in order to find great reviews of your performance and this little post might just spring up, so just in case you get a chance to read this, here goes:

Your grotesquely insipid 'commentary' (sic and sick) during the Opening Ceremonies was so dreadful that it has entered my Pantheon of Moronic Moments on TeeVee. Please allow me to enumerate these for you: others will undoubtedly have something(s) to add:

1. Your little scripted fill-ins of British History were so woefully inadequate that a junior-high school student would be able to embellish them. No? Well, you may be right: kids and their parents are so busy watching you on the Today Show, (which bears no resemblance to that hosted by Dave Garroway and believe me, Sigourney Weaver's Daddy is also spinning in his grave) that they can't process any information longer than a fortune cookie's missive. You should actually state six random numbers after each of your stupid pronouncements, to give the show some verisimilitude.

Still reading? I bet you are...

2. Thank you SO MUCH for the little synopses after your GROTESQUE COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTIONS. Oh yes, I know just how important it was to sell...wait...what were the commercials for? I was so busy cursing that my wife jotted down what the products were SO I WILL NOT BUY ANY OF THEM FOR THE NEXT DECADE. Just for spite, of course...

3. Hey Bob...how many countries HAVEN'T EVER WON A MEDAL??? So, yeah, why the hell should they even show up, right? Those morons have the temerity to actually march in the ceremonies when they're DOOMED TO LOSE. After all, it's just about winning the competitions...as long as you're an AMERICAN or look like one, which brings me to

4. Yes folks in the broadcast booth, we picked up your little snide comments about those little countries with 'exotic' looking people and costumes. Your tone of voice changed considerably, and what was all that about the political natures of each of these countries, their revolutions, their dictators, and all that? You talked more about that than your co-worker David "Stretch" Gregory does on Sunday mornings when he pretends to host your "non-partisan" Meet The Press, another joke of a broadcast. Oh yes, I'm a Liberal - and proud of it - because if it were up to you Conservatives, THE PEOPLE OF COLOR WOULD STILL BE MARCHING IN A DIFFERENT PART OF THE GROUP FROM THE WHITE PEOPLE. And yes, we saw in the "Pre-game Show" how that nice old black lady who won the first medal was forced to sit apart from the white folk in the town down South when she was 'honored' by her neighbors. Wasn't that just a great demonstration of how far we've come? So thus you don't counsel people coming on your network and getting away with statements about the President and the First Family about how different and un-American and non-Anglo-Saxon they are, right? You would be OUTRAGED, right? No...oh, so it's just 'part of the dialogue we're all having here in the US of A, freedom of (hate)speech, right?

5. And on a personal note, we don't give a damn what singing group you liked in High School, and that the Beatles were your FAVORITE! Really?? I gotta sit down, I'd never thought that anyone else might feel that way about them! And the Rolling Stones...humming along with the tune, and Meredith: thanks for the solo...you said you just couldn't help yourself. Rock on!!!

I'm tired of typing this stuff...I was so frigging mad when I went to bed that I had trouble falling asleep and thought about you guys when I awakened! And then I thought of Jim McCay and Company in the old days: their Professionalism, Competence, and Understanding of what the Olympics really can mean when observed and interpreted by people who possess a three-digit I.Q. Thanks for your time, and we'll be right back after this message...

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