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Thu Feb 1, 2018, 10:07 AM

Breaking: Trump Administration to Ban High-Efficiency Residential Gas Furnaces [View all]

Trump to Force Homeowners to Switch to Coal-Burning Furnaces

In a bid to promote "wonderful clean coal," Trump's Secretary of Energy will announce new regulations for residential heating systems. According to sources with knowledge of the matter, this new initiative will prohibit the installation of high-efficiency (over 90% AFUE) natural gas-burning furnaces in homes. Instead, only coal-burning furnaces will be available for home use as of August 15, 2018. A spokesperson for the Department of Energy commented: "High efficiency gas furnaces are part of the problem for coal-producing states. By forcing the installation of coal-burning furnaces in homes, thousands of coal-mining jobs will be created in states that supported President Trump's election in 2016."

The DOE representative continued: "Beautiful clean coal is the fuel of the future. Today's technology will prevent problems with older coal-burning furnaces, such as "clinkers" and other such issues. In 2018, we do not have to put up with problems like those depicted in the film, 'A Christmas Story,' any longer. In addition, the smoke created by coal-burning furnaces in home basements may even help to solve global climate change problems, even though there is no such thing."

Federal Tax Rebates up to $35 will be offered to homeowners who take advantage this new clean coal technology when they need a replacement furnace, and all new home construction projects will include modern coal-burning furnaces. US manufacturers of residential HVAC equipment have already begun to ramp up their factories to produce this revolutionary switch-over. One such manufacturer, Carrier, has issued a press release describing the expansion of their factory in Mexico to accommodate the President's new initiative.






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Reply Breaking: Trump Administration to Ban High-Efficiency Residential Gas Furnaces [View all]
MineralMan Feb 2018 OP
BannonsLiver Feb 2018 #1
salin Feb 2018 #18
mahatmakanejeeves Feb 2018 #2
MineralMan Feb 2018 #3
mahatmakanejeeves Feb 2018 #8
MineralMan Feb 2018 #9
underpants Feb 2018 #16
unblock Feb 2018 #4
MineralMan Feb 2018 #5
DBoon Feb 2018 #7
mahatmakanejeeves Feb 2018 #10
MineralMan Feb 2018 #13
DetlefK Feb 2018 #15
mahatmakanejeeves Feb 2018 #21
Wounded Bear Feb 2018 #12
MineralMan Feb 2018 #20
DetlefK Feb 2018 #24
DBoon Feb 2018 #6
mahatmakanejeeves Feb 2018 #11
underpants Feb 2018 #14
MineralMan Feb 2018 #17
underpants Feb 2018 #19
First Speaker Feb 2018 #22
MineralMan Feb 2018 #23