TSExile
TSExile's JournalOpinion: Trump's behavior in E. Jean Carroll trial is a chilling trigger for sexual assault survivors
https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/18/opinions/e-jean-carroll-trump-defamation-lawsuit-campoamor/index.htmlEditor’s Note: Danielle Campoamor is a freelance writer and reporter, formerly of TODAY and NBC. The views expressed here are her own. Read more opinion on CNN.
After E. Jean Carroll took a seat inside a Manhattan courtroom in her ongoing defamation lawsuit against former President Donald Trump, one legal commentator described her posture as “not comfortably settled.” She was described as “perched” on the edge of her seat, “her back ruler straight, willing herself as far away from her assaulter, who was sitting two rows behind her, as she could … the seated embodiment of a fight-or-flight response.”
I know that posture all too well. Inside a small, nondescript room tucked away in the corner of a police department, I also sat perched on the edge of my seat, stiff and rigid as if the sexual assault I had endured days earlier killed a part of me and my body had entered a phase of rigor mortis.
On Thursday, Carroll took the stand while the man who was found liable for sexually assaulting her in a luxury department store dressing room in 1996 sat nearby. (In May, 2023, Carroll was awarded $5 million for battery and defamation. She is now seeking at least $10 million in additional damages.)
Carroll found herself facing down not only a man found liable for assaulting her, but also a former president and current presidential frontrunner — an unprecedented example of the power dynamics survivors face. While a victim of sexual assault receives death threats, her assailant receives endorsements and secures the Iowa caucus.
During Carroll’s testimony, Trump repeatedly shook his head, according to CNN reporters inside the courtroom, and could be heard “loudly saying things” such as “it’s false,” “she’s gotten her memory back,” and, according to Carroll’s lawyer Shawn Crowley, that the lawsuit is “a witch hunt” and a “con job.”
At one point, Trump slammed the table in anger. Judge Lewis Kaplan eventually threatened to throw Trump out of the courtroom. The GOP 2024 presidential frontrunner threw his hands up in the air before responding, “I would love it.”
I have seen that type of anger in person. I have felt the painful sting of my abuser’s toxic, sinisterly childish denial. In my own futile attempt to seek justice, I endured what is known as a pretext phone call — I was asked to call my alleged attacker as a detective listened in and recorded the conversation. I was told I was a liar. I was being hysterical. He was sorry for what happened … but nothing happened.
Like so many sexual assault victims and survivors, Carroll’s ongoing pursuit of justice, the court proceedings and the response of her alleged abuser have been re-traumatizing. When the former columnist first came forward with her allegations, calls to the National Sexual Assault Hotline increased by 53% in just three days, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN).
And while my case never made it to criminal trial — out of 1,000 instances, only 13 cases will be referred to a prosecutor, according to RAINN — and I declined to take any civil action, I see my pain in Carroll’s posture during her pursuit of civil justice. I also see a stark reminder of how this country and its judicial system purposefully treats rape victims.
One in six women, and one in 10 men, will be victims of sexual assault at some point in their lives, according to RAINN. The US Department of Veterans reports that one in three victims of sexual assault will experience post-traumatic stress disorder sometime during their lives.
Like so many survivors, Carroll likely knew what was coming when she chose to bring a case against the former president not once but twice. She was likely advised as to how difficult the court proceedings would be, especially if she went through them again and if her alleged assaulter was present.
But that knowledge does not protect Carroll — or any of us — from how the justice system’s design inherently retraumatizes victims. Studies have shown that many victims do not come forward because they don’t trust the process, don’t think the authorities will believe them and do not want to be revictimized by the process as it exists today. Studies also show that criminal proceedings can be just as traumatizing as the assault(s).
As Chanel Miller, once known as Emily Doe and who was sexually assaulted by Brock Turner, said in her victim impact statement: “And then it came time for him to testify and I learned what it meant to be revictimized.”
It is a privilege, of sorts, to get your day in court as a survivor of sexual assault — let alone two. But the underlying narrative is that Carroll and those like her are “lucky” to be in such an agonizing position — that privilege and the courage to come forward morph into some kind of shield that protects people from the trauma of having their pain denied, their character assassinated and their intentions questioned.
Simultaneously, survivors are blamed if they don’t come forward. It is on us, society says, to dig at our scabs, reveal our scars and relive our pain so that what happened to us doesn’t happen to anyone else. According to RAINN, the most common reasons victims give for coming forward is to protect others, to prevent the offender from reoffending and because “they believed they had a duty to do so.”
I hesitated to come forward because I knew what, even under the best of circumstances, I would have to endure. Like Carroll, I knew I wasn’t the so-called perfect victim — an illusion designed to keep survivors siloed and silenced. I waited to go to the police a full 24 hours after the assault. I took a shower, washing away evidence in some desperate attempt to simply feel clean. I had been drinking. I couldn’t remember all the details, which is common among sexual assault survivors. In instances of high stress or terror, our brain’s function is impaired and memories become fragmented. It’s an innate defense mechanism meant to help us survive — a defense mechanism often used against us in the court of law and public opinion.
I knew I likely wouldn’t win a case, or even see a day in court. I filed a report anyway, and the trauma of not only the assault but of that process will remain with me forever.
Carroll spoke about the retraumatization she has experienced as a result of coming forward and bringing two cases against one of the most powerful men in the world. She has endured endless death threats. She has received rape threats. She is sent hundreds of graphic descriptions of violence a day.
“I will never, never get used to attacks like that,” Carroll testified.
But just as our traumas will stay forever stuck to our rib cages, at times making it difficult to breathe, so will — I hope — Carroll’s words when asked why she would endure not one, but two highly publicized lawsuits:
“I wanted people to know that a woman can speak up and win a trial,” she said. “I don’t want to be quiet now. I’m 80. It’s not right to try to make women be quiet. It has been going on for too long.”
Which political podcasts would you recommend?
I really like the Faithful Politics Podcast. It is co-hosted by two guys in Virginia. One is a black liberal pundit (Will Wright) and the other is a white conservative pastor (Josh Burtram). They are not only civil to each other and their guests, but are downright friendly. The tone is calm and conversational. The guests are mostly authors of recently released books. Past guests include Olivia Troye, Joe Walsh (former congressman, not the musician), Russell Moore, Tim Alberta and Kristin Kobes Du Mez.
https://m.youtube.com/@FaithfulPolitics
If Rudy has to pony up $148M for Lady Ruby and Shaye...
...how much is the defamation case next week going to cost T****??? Any guesses???
I say it will be a billion dollars. No, I am not kidding.
Finally, a SANE Christian!!
This video just dropped a few hours ago. I love Rev. Ed Trevors and have been blessed by his past videos. Check out his past videos...he has spoken out about T**** and his ilk quite frequently!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=xhvgIk61gsyC7N6o&v=7zgQpHw_D94&feature=youtu.be
BIG family blowup
I just stormed out of a family gathering at my sister's house. The discussion inevitably turned to politics. Prices and all that. Beth Moore's name came up in the discussion. Of course, I am stupid for fearing that if that monster gets back into power, he will legalize rape. Instead, I was told my fears are ridiculous. I am ridiculous for only looking at the man/woman aspect and not worried about the prices when it comes to a family of six!! (I was tempted to tell my sister that she didn't HAVE to have four kids, but it probably would have made things worse.) I couldn't take it anymore, so I got my keys and stormed out in tears.
As I have stated elsewhere on this forum, I am a survivor of sexual abuse. Am I too sensitive when it comes to that monster?
Bumper sticker seen on the way to work.
On the way to work this morning, I spotted a bumper sticker on the car in front of me. It said, "Dads Against Daughters Dating Democrats".
Booooooo...
No longer a Covid virgin.
I tested positive for the first time ever on Sunday, though I really first felt it late Thursday. My sister also tested positive for the first time yesterday. We are miserable!! 😷🤧🤒
What was the first presidential election you voted in?
Mine was the debacle of 2000, at age 21. I honestly thought after that circus (hanging chads, anyone?) that things possibly couldn't get worse than that. I was so naive!!!
Any other former Republican voters here? (My Story)
From the time I registered to vote at age 19 until my late 30s, I was a registered Republican. My parents and grandparents had always voted that way, and it always seemed to work for them. I listened to Glenn Beck (though I liked him much better when he talked about topics other than politics). Still, I never quite fit the right-wing conservative mold.
Fast forward to Sunday, October 11, 2015. I was sexually assaulted by a man who I had thought was my friend...someone I had known (or thought I knew) for nearly a decade. I adored this man...and had trusted him implicitly. He gaslit, manipulated and violated me for another 8 months. He was a very charismatic man and knew how to keep me in line so I would keep his dirty secrets...until I unwittingly did something to make him mad and he cruelly dumped me. He hated me after that...especially when I confided in others what he had done to me.
At the same time, that horrible man named T**** had thrown his political hat in the ring. I didn't think he had a hope in hell of winning the Republican primary, let alone the nomination. Still a registered R, I voted for Kasich in the primary. In October 2016, I saw the man who hurt me for the last time. The same weekend, a certain Access Hollywood tape dropped to the public.
Because of my own intensely private problem, I was not following the election of 2016 nearly as closely as I would have otherwise. I did hear about the Access Hollywood tape...and was devastated. Still, I had so internalized the message from the pit of hell that Christians only vote Republican. If you don't vote Republican, you're not a Christian. On Election Day, I literally cried in the voting booth. The messages in my heart and head were at war...and I caved. I regret that moment deeply...even though my vote wouldn't have made a difference in the long run, especially here in Ohio. Of course, I couldn't even comprehend all the horrible things that were to come and certainly wouldn't have voted R if I had had even an inkling of it.
Long story short, at the beginning of 2017 I began intensive therapy to deal with my assault. Over the next two years, I would travel from my home in the eastern suburbs of Cleveland into the city proper. I was assigned to a counselor who I had been told over the phone was a bit "unconventional".
We were quite a match - the shy, sheltered white girl from the suburbs and the outspoken Black great-grandmother from inner city Cleveland who also happened to be a Baptist minister. I didn't realize at the time that she was planting seeds in me. She was a Christian woman who didn't hide her disdain for T**** in the few times he came up in conversation. She was compassionate but tough...a big proponent of the "teach a man to fish" philosophy. I wish everyone could find a Dr. W....and she stayed my counselor until she retired in spring 2019.
During the time I was in counseling with Dr. W., #MeToo happened and so did the Kavanaugh confirmations. When I read an op-ed about how T**** went with Kavanaugh not in spite of his sexual assault allegations but BECAUSE of them - that did it. Then the completely inept, callous way T**** dealt with covid (essential worker, home health aide here) finished off any possibility of me voting Republican ever again.
In October 2020, I drove to the board of elections building and fully masked, cast my vote for Biden/Harris...and lightning did not strike me. There was no turning back. The shrinking violet became a full-fledged feminist. I have no tolerance for bullies, those who sexually abuse, and those who enable. I found my voice. One of the things I want to do in this next year is help register young people, most especially young women, to vote.
I would be interested in hearing stories from others who escaped the Grand Old Patriarchy!! Thanks for letting me share mine.
The law firm of Weissmann and Katyal
I wish those two had their own show!!! Who's with me?
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