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LiberaBlueDem's Journal
LiberaBlueDem's Journal
August 31, 2023

The Latest Republican Debate; a Commentary. Funny

The Republican candidates met to yell at each other in an alternative universe
Not to be outdone in bellicosity, DeSantis threatened to invade Mexico
Diane Roberts

In case you missed last Wednesday’s Dadaist performance piece, the one called “Republican Primary Debate,” when one woman and seven men shouted for two hours on live TV, here’s the highlight reel:

Things started off grumpy and soon deteriorated.

Fox moderators Bret Baier and Martha MacCallum played “Rich Men North of Richmond,” a hit song hostile to fat people and the gub’mint by a fellow with an angry beard.

The candidates, who spend most of their waking hours in a state of rage, looked extra-cheesed off. Nobody told them this would be on the test.

When asked to raise their hands if they agree humans cause climate change, Ron DeSantis who is, as you are aware, governor of a state where there is no climate change WHATSOEVER, pitched a little hissy fit, hollering, “We’re not schoolchildren!”

His tone was that of an aggrieved 6th grader whose mother has just said no, you can’t have your birthday party at Hooters.

Biotech Bro Vivek Ramaswamy jumped in: “The climate change agenda is a hoax! People are dying of bad climate change policies!”

Hell, yeah! It was 114 in Milwaukee on debate day, the city had to close the schools, the asphalt was melting, and the Panther Pilsner began to boil in its bottles, but only an anti-American groomer wimp would support lowering carbon emissions.

Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a jerk before jerkiness became the Republican Party house style, glared at Biotech Bro: “I’ve had enough already tonight of a guy who sounds like ChatGPT standing up here.”

Funny thing about the Biotech Bro: While most adult humans have 32 teeth, he seems to have 40-odd, each with its own light emitting diode, almost blinding the audience as he yipped, “Drill, frack, burn coal, unleash nuclear!”

Meanwhile, in an alternate, but equally warped, space-time continuum, Donald Trump told Tucker “a frozen food is a good food” Carlson that the Jan. 6 insurrection was a great day for America, with all those fine Americans saying, “It was the most beautiful day they ever experienced. There was love and unity.”

Back on Planet Murdoch, the fellow from North (or is it South?) Dakota with the eyebrows and the bad leg tried to get a word in, but nobody would let him.

Former Vice President and bunny-daddy Mike Pence, still psyched that Trump’s braying mob failed to murder him that day at the Capitol, reminded everyone that he’d given his “life to Jesus Christ my lord and savior,” therefore he supports a national abortion ban because, you know, little babies.

Sen. Tim Scott, who, like Biotech Bro, sports some righteous choppers, said, “Absolutely!”

He kept saying, “Absolutely!” even when it made no sense.

Nikki Haley, Trump’s U.N. ambassador, smacked her lectern and said, “Unelected justices didn’t need to decide this issue” — abortion — though it should be pointed out that the Supreme Court did exactly that in Dobbs.

DeSantis suddenly lurched forward like a Chevy Nova with a malfunctioning spark plug, barking about a Florida woman named Penny “who survived multiple abortion attempts.”

It was actually only one attempt, unless you also count her father trying to unplug the incubator where she lay, a tiny newborn.

Penny’s dad initially tried a coat hanger on Penny’s mother, but it didn’t quite work.

This was, by the way, in 1955, 18 years before Roe.

DeSantis didn’t seem to understand that his story is more an argument for safe and legal abortion than for outlawing it but, if a stick has a wrong end, he’ll grasp it with both hands and both feet, like a two-toed sloth.

The man never did manage to reset his program to “human speaking,” but his algorithms did throw up a few of the “debate points” laid out in the leaked strategy memo recommending he take a “sledgehammer” to Biotech Bro.

Unfortunately for DeSantis, Biotech Bro just smirked and called him a “Super PAC puppet.”

Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of a wormhole, Tucker Carlson who tweeted that “I hate him passionately” thing in an entirely different universe, nodded as Donald Trump mused about building the Panama Canal, observing, “We lost 35,000 people because of the mosquito.”

Back on this burning planet, Asa Hutchinson, former Arkansas governor and Never Trumper, scandalized at the behavior of his fellow aspirants, clucked like Foghorn Leghorn when Henery the chickenhawk tried to big himself up.

The guy from South (unless it’s North) Dakota broke down and defended education: “The idea that every school district, state, and every teacher is somehow indoctrinating people is just false.”

Most of the candidates looked like he just suggested making puppy-and-kitten smoothies.

Sen. Scott said he’d shut down the Department of Education and “break the backs of the teachers’ unions.”

Biotech Bro was all like, “Me, too!” He also wants to raise the voting age to 25, unless you pass a citizenship test like in the good old days of Jim Crow.

He said young people need to learn things like it was the Constitution that “won us the American Revolution,” even though the Constitution was written nearly 12 years after the American Revolution.

Not to be outdone in bellicosity, DeSantis threatened to invade Mexico and kill an indeterminate number of people “stone dead.”
Back through the looking glass

Meanwhile, through the Looking Glass, Donald Trump informed the Twixxerverse that “crooked” Joe Biden is the worst president ever and has skinny legs which “look terrible on the beach,” Vice President Kamala Harris “speaks in rhyme,” and regulations have messed up our water pressure.

Water comes “from heaven,” said TFG, but now you don’t get enough of it out of the shower “to wash your beautiful hair.”

Back in Milwaukee, each candidate looked straight into the camera for their closing pitches. Pence promised “a conservative agenda;” Tim Scott declared, “If God made you a man, you play sports against men;” Nikki Haley loved on the police.

Biotech Bro squeaked, “God is real. There are two genders. Fossil fuels are a requirement for human prosperity.”

Then he did a little dance that called to mind that scene from “The Lord of the Rings” when Gollum exults on Mount Doom just before he falls into the fire.

When it was his turn, Ron DeSantis packed in most of his talking points: He’s a “blue-collar kid,” though he went to Yale and Harvard; he was in Iraq with the Navy SEALS (he forgot to say he was not himself a Navy SEAL); and he would make America great again, again, and possibly one more time for good measure.

Then, as the audience watched in horror, the muscles around his jaws began to twitch and judder as his lips stretched.

Children screamed in terror, strong men ran from the room, even stronger women averted their eyes.

The governor of Florida was attempting to smile


August 29, 2023

Democrats should be ashamed

But we know Dems are beyond shame. Just look at how they are making TFG feel! Don is down in the dumps at a time when he should be feeling great. He is way ahead in all the polls and was destined for becoming the next president. Now he is gonna have to pull off a miracle to save himself! Dems have made it so he doesn't even stand a chance, no matter how much he spends on lawyers and advertising.

The media loves him, but the Dems are playing alt-media and crushing the millionaire talking heads on TV with their alt-media talking points. Points like Don is a huge conman, liar and cheat. Dems never miss a chance to refute Don's badly attended rallies where now only a few dozens of his formerly billions of supporters who cheered and cheered as he attacked everyone and anyone who was not at the rally.

Now all that is for naught, and Don is beng chased by prosecuting attorneys from NY to Miami all because the Dems are mad at the Doncon, not because he broke many laws. They could only come up with 91 charges!

Where is America headed with all these Dems, lead by Biden and Smith, in charge and leading the way? America will never be the same without Don who said only he could save America, while it is all to evident that Don can't even save himself from the now all powerful Dems who will win everything in 2024.

August 27, 2023

A Well Regulated Militia

How can we have that?

Each and every gun owner would be in the militia.

Then, according to the A2, the government could regulate the members of that militia.

Regulations could be a broad as needed to make sure the miltia is well regulated.

August 25, 2023

Prediction of trump's future

He is already in more trouble than he has ever been and he's feeling it. He's pretty much imprisoned by the justice system. He can't make a move that prosecutors don't see and everything he says can be used against him in court. He is very constricted, more constricted than he has ever been.

More than a few of his co-conspirators will go to jail.

One or two will testify against him in his trials

Everyday he loses more followers. Even some of his best friends are thinking about how to save themselves and how to jump ship.

Mentally he suffers. He will likely suffer depression as he looks around and sees this new reality.

Basically the trump we knew is over and done with. It will take a few years before he is history, and out of our misery.

August 24, 2023

I am excited

This may be the last time we get to cheer for awhile. From now on it will be the court and lawyers say this or that --- boring!

Tonight Public Enemy #1 gets arrested and we all get to watch and cheer!

The rest of the world is watching to see if America really is the Land of the Brave. Do we really have a system of justice for all?

I am sad that 45 turned out to be such a conman, I am excited to see him going down, freely and fairly.

August 23, 2023

At tonights coven of rep witches, who will be first to state

Con45 is not qualified to be on the ballot.

Do any of them have the guts to go after him?

August 22, 2023

We are witness to history being made

con45 is the first US president to be criminally indicted for felony crimes committed while in office.

the followers of his, who we know as con45 junkies, say, well,
"he's only got 91 charges! Who here has not been charged 91 times?"

This is a time of history of seeing "Public Enemy #1" being taken down. Here comes the judge!

August 22, 2023

A new study found that the top 10% of households responsible for 40% of U.S. greenhouse ga

The study also identified racial inequities in how different groups are responsible for carbon emissions, reporting that Black households, on average, have a carbon footprint of 19 metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent from both supplier and producer emissions. In comparison, White Hispanic households show slightly higher emissions with 26 metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent from suppliers and 25 metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent from producers but the most significant emissions can be observed within White non-Hispanic households. They have 40 metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent from suppliers and 36 metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent from producers.


August 22, 2023

I do not care what they say

The Common Good is about people, not business.

Business is about capital and socialism is about the common good of the people. If one is concerned about the common good of the people, they should wear the socialism badge proudly, no matter what capitalist's say.

August 21, 2023

My view of DU

Been here a few weeks reading. Good to see a forum of good Democrats with so few trolls.

Just keep in mind we are winning. We are winning the hearts and souls of the American public and in due time we will overcome and once again control the government.

2024 will go down in history as the year we really started to finish the job.

Profile Information

Member since: Mon Aug 7, 2023, 08:01 PM
Number of posts: 862

About LiberaBlueDem

Been on FB for years but after making so many trumpers mad they canned me. Found DU and been reading for a few months and know this is where this old liberal (almost 67) belongs. I intend to inspire the youngsters to support and vote Dem since Dems are the only viable future

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