I've tried, over the years, I really have. I've tried to take into account the damage she suffered from an abusive, hateful father. I've tried to hold on to the few good moments we shared, but I just can't anymore.

The fact is my mom was racist, homophobic, and just plain mean. She was an anchor around the neck of my family for close to 50 years. It took me decades to unlearn the vile stuff she planted in my head.

After she died, I asked my dad why he never left her. His answer? He still saw the girl he married, and he didn't think she would be able to take care of herself. And that she refused every offer of help. He was probably right.

She swam in a sea of booze, pills, and hatred. If she had lived long enough, she would have been MAGA to the core.

I don't want to spend too much time capping on her.

Instead, I honor my grandma Era. First person in her family to go to college. Member of U. Tennessee's 1st female basketball team. First woman head accountant at Sears-Roebuck. She taught me how to bait a hook, clean a fish, and shoot a free-throw (granny-style ).

She also took me to my first picket-line to support grandpa, on strike from Uniroyal rubber.

Most, most, most important, she taught me to judge people by what they did, not how they looked, who they loved, or where they came from.

So Grandma Era Janice Foster (1902- 1989) This mother's day is for you.

I know it's fucked up fantasy, but let me have a moment, I really did wake up with this dream still in my head.

tRump and Pence For "Jeezus" both come down with the bug.

even the reactionary SC has to follow hard constitutional law and declare Nancy the Acting President.

Ronald Reagan's ghost will be resumed to try and sell "soft" conservatism.

Nope:
Emperor Trump will claim absolute power.

End game? Most of us lose. The few who will win? Untouchable.

I wish I was more optimistic

Fire season is upon us, and everyone living in the western U.S. knows what that means. The fires are going to come. Despite increased pressure from climate change and more people moving into boundary areas, the various agencies charged with wilderness fire-fighting do an admirable, sometimes heroic job. USDF green is one of the uniforms I will be forever proud that I wore. (along with Coast Guard blue).

What most people don't know is what a fire camp is like. They are crowded, hot, dirty, dry, full of toxic air (smoke, retardant, diesel, and just plain BO). Social distancing is impossible. Proper sanitation is impossible. Water (for anything other than drinking) is rare. Fire-fighters are crowded nut-to-butt, and are constantly trading equipment with strangers coming on or off the line. The idea of 20 sec hand washing is laughable. (3 min showers every 3 days when I worked the Santa Cruz "Blue Mountain" fire, and a wet wipe before meals or honey pot visits). That water has to be hauled up 50 miles of bad dirt road, with traffic jams.

Oh, and latex gloves and paper masks are out, except for camp, because of that pesky fire thing.

Now, wilderness fire-fighters DO self-select for people who are healthy and risk tolerant, and because fire season doesn't coincide with flu season, this hasn't really been a major concern. Now things are different.

Add to that the complete nightmare of an urban/wild boundary fire (cf. Paradise, CA), and trying to help hundreds, maybe thousands, of fire refugees without the usual FEMA/Red Cross shelters and food kitchens.

I know this is only one permutation of the times, and probably not the most important, but it IS important. Forestry (fed or state) will not get another dime. tRumpCo wants to see the west burn.

Keep them in mind, they are, along with the infantry and ER nurses, true front-line. Our fire-fighters are hard-core heroes, doing their job because it's needed. Find out what the front line fire grunts in your area need, and help if you can.

To anyone who is going to strap on a Pulaski and a piss-bag this summer, I salute you, and I wish I was there.

I only thought I knew SF until I watched this. For basically a talking head for 24 episodes, this is truly brilliant.

I got this through my local library, hopefully you can too. If you've got the time, no one who appreciates SF should miss this.

https://multcolib.kanopy.com/video/how-great-science-fiction-works

Juggling, no doubt.

Always wanted to, had the time, found a you-tube video.

Didn't have juggling balls or tennis balls, figured handballs would work.

Handballs are HARD.

I now owe my landlord for a new window.

Fortunately he's a good guy.

So, Oregon is launching a volunteer contract tracing program, the first in the country. 100,000 Oregonians, especially in underserved and minority populations will be asked to take their temperature daily with internet thermometers (yeah, they're a thing now). It's almost real-time data to identify hot-spots.

Despite my privacy concerns, this sounds like smart citizen science, and a way to not feel some f-ing helpless.

I'm going to re-post to the Oregon board, hoping one of mu homies knows more, especially about how to volunteer, which isn't clear yet.

This IS vetted though. Run by OHSU and PSU public health dept, funding and coordination from the state.

Sorry for the ugly link, I'm still learning.

Anyway, watcha think?

https://www.kgw.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/oregons-100000-volunteer-contact-tracing-system/283-7f657aa6-fac7-40c4-b68d-f1e3f19c728d

So, Oregon is launching a volunteer contract tracing program, the first in the country. 100,000 Oregonians, especially in underserved and minority populations will be asked to take their temperature daily with internet thermometers (yeah, they're a thing now). It's almost real-time data to identify hot-spots.

Despite my privacy concerns, this sounds like smart citizen science, and a way to not feel so f-ing helpless.

I'm going to re-post to the Oregon board, hoping one of my homies knows more, especially about how to volunteer, which isn't clear yet. This IS vetted though. Run by OHSU and PSU public health dept, funding and coordination from the state.

Sorry for the ugly link, I'm still learning.

Anyway, watcha think?

https://www.kgw.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/oregons-100000-volunteer-contact-tracing-system/283-7f657aa6-fac7-40c4-b68d-f1e3f19c728d

Maybe his greatest quote: "Winning is not permanent, and failure is not fatal"

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-much-are-you-worth.html

How many of the hard skills do you have to be a useful person?

How many of the soft skills do you have to be a valued person?

And how much is the gold in your body really worth?