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Lord Ludd

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Member since: Sun Feb 9, 2020, 09:31 PM
Number of posts: 585

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Is it my imagination...

…or is this cover from a 2010 edition an unintentionally dead-on, brilliant caricature of Terrible Twos (himself an anything-but-brilliant caricature)?

Sorry, but "President Tweety" just doesn't cut it

This is not a knock on our presumptive nominee per se, rather on the entire campaign brain trust. Two reasons:

1. If you're coining a nickname for Trump, go for the jugular FFS. Something that will really penetrate his bath-tissue skin & turn his orange face fire-engine red. President Tweety doesn't begin to accomplish that.

2. Using "President" only reaffirms Trump's status as the incumbent, a position & title my cat (if I had one) is better qualified for. Don't intentionally elevate him above Biden; keep both candidates on the same level (although there is no actual level low enough for Trump).

My fantasy choice is Fat Donnie. It's nasty, it's true (not that it matters anymore), & it would make Trump's hair arrangement catch fire. (Heck, Nancy already called him morbidly obese.) Let the complainers complain & the ranters rant, including those on our side; they will only help spread the meme. My formal proposal, however, is Tweetle Don. At first it sounds benign, but seconds later people will realize it's actually calling Trump Tweedledum. Even Trump will get it & will not like it, to understate dramatically.

Trouble is, we're stuck with President Tweety, because changing it now would be admitting that it was lame from the start & would cause howls of derision to rain both on Biden & the Dems. This has all been an academic exercise, but I just wanted to vent my frustration with my party's undeserved reputation for being a doormat.

Pop quiz on facemasks

Grateful rancher/schoolmarm/storeowner: "Sheriff, who was that masked man?"

Please choose the correct answer:
(a) Sheriff: "Why, that was THE LONE RANGER!"
(b) Sheriff: "Darned if I know, but it sure as fuck WASN'T DONALD TRUMP!"

My post-election prediction

After Trump is humiliated in November & then assanged from the WH on January 20th, Melania will file for divorce on the 21st. (She might even file on November 4th, reasoning that there's no need to continue the charade in light of his ouster.)

Trump, of course, will tweet that he divorced her, at the same time announcing his forthcoming tell-all entitled "I Fled Three Wives."* (He'll need the dough to pay his trial lawyers.)

*For the non-senior DUers, "I Led Three Lives" was a book written by Herbert A. Philbrick published in 1952 (& soon thereafter a TV series), detailing his exploits as a businessman/family man, secret member of the US Communist Party, & counterspy for the FBI. (Whatta guy!)
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