‘We’re going to have a look at how many dead people have voted here,’ Giuliani said — and wouldn’t a zombie army of the Biden-supporting undead be very 2020?

Things are not looking good for Donald J Trump right now; even his beloved Fox News pundits are gritting their teeth, looking at each other a little nervously, and talking about “narrow paths to victory”. What does a prospective leader of the free world do when he’s on the ropes? Well, sometimes he concedes gracefully. Sometimes he comes out — as Joe Biden did during the night — to tell his supporters to keep their chins up and stay optimistic. And sometimes he gets his son and Rudy Giuliani to rant about conspiracy theories outside an airport in Philadelphia.

So it was that Eric Trump, Lara Trump, Rudy Giuliani and Corey Lewandowski stepped in front of cameras just now, sans president. It was a press conference that was originally planned for 3.30pm ET, cancelled, and then un-cancelled and rescheduled for an hour later. At 4.35pm, Team Trump wandered out in front of a gathering of people in Stars and Stripes masks holding “Make America Great Again” signs. And what a motley crew it was.

First up was Eric, a man no one has ever accused of possessing a statesmanlike quality. Continuing his performance piece from the Republican convention, he flailed his arms and declared victory for Dad in Pennsylvania, screaming that “ballots have been found in drainage ditches”, there was “rampant corruption”, and “this isn’t democracy”. Giuliani crouched behind him, holding on to a comically oversized book which was presumedly supposed to make him look legally intimidating. The former mayor of New York would be “basically leading” the legal efforts for team Trump, Eric said, before handing over.