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Tucker08087

Profile Information

Name: Kristin
Gender: Female
Hometown: Little Egg Harbor, NJ Coastal South Jersey
Home country: United States of America
Current location: Little Egg Harbor, NJ
Member since: Thu Mar 22, 2018, 08:39 PM
Number of posts: 596

Journal Archives

I've written so much but fell behind with sharing!

This is completely true, but looking back at my feelings in those surrounding years and finally trying to put it into words. I did say to someone in the hospital (doctor, nurse, policeÖall a blur), ďThere are worse things than being dead.Ē I repeated it often. Wanted it to sound kind of like a heartbeat. I hope itís not redundant. So here is what I have. And Iíll try to catch up with others. This one is VERY longÖ

Worse Things

I walked through the trees
And the honeysuckle bees
And believed that I was really living
Weíd been trained to accept
What others might reject
And we took a vow of forgiving

The night wind cooled me
The starry skies fooled me
I was there just to do my calling
When the doorbell rang
That familiar sound
Down narrow steps I walked without falling

But I fell
Dear God,
to the depths of hell
That shiny silver blade
With precise and viscous cuts
Left bloody marks
And they will never fade
But they certainly werenít
The only scars that were made

There are worse things
There are worse things
There are worse things
My God, canít you see this dread
Canít you read between the lines that you read
There are worse things
There are worse things
For the love of God
There are worse things
Than being dead

And I asked every night
Before I went to bed
Why?
Why didnít he leave me dead?
Whyíd he leave me
To walk in misery
instead?

Now years have gone by
Canít remember how to cry
Except for others whoíve felt this pain
We didnít have a choice
They still wonít hear our voice
Roll their eyes as they say itís a shame

The night wind heals me
The starry skies feel me
They know that Iím still trying
And every single footstep
Reminds me of a misstep
A life I try to live without lying

But I lie
Dear God,
Cause I wished that you would die
That sharp silver blade
Yeah it cuts both ways
And maybe Iíd remember how to cry
Your own ending might teach me how to try

There are worse things
There are worse things
There are worse things
My God, canít you see the disgrace
There are worse things
There are worse things
There are worse things
Than staring into the devilís face

Canít you see it in my eyes that Iím gone
A role in a play thatís always on
There are worse things
There are worse things
For the love of God
There are worse things
Than faking being strong
And living far too long
And he left me
Bleeding freely
And to this day
I ask why instead
Did he let me live
And my answer
My only answer
was that he, too
Even he knew
There are worse things
There are worse things
There are worse things
Than being dead

Because so many times
Iíve wished that his crime
Would have left me dead
My veins were dripping
My life was slippingÖ. away
But he let me stay
Wish heíd left me dead
Instead

Cause there are worse things
There are worse things
There are worse things
Please, God, let them hear what Iíve said
There are worse things
There are worse things
There are worse things
Than being dead

A Few Months Ago I Was Diagnosed With MDL

I was given an alarmingly low chance of survival, so a part of me hoped they misdiagnosed. So yesterday I went to the Cherry Hill Cancer In NJ but related to U Penn Medicine in the city.I have goods news: Possibly a longer period of survival. There are medicines to consider, which I was told donít exist and it appears that I qualify for a bone transplant!

The Last Time

The Last Time


If I had somehow known
That the last time
Would be the very last time
Would I have turned around
And given comfort
Would that have been such a crime

Everyone around me
Feels that itís their choice
To ignore my voice
Question my judgement
And each step I take
While my heart aches

Somehow I thought youíd come back again
And Iíd let you in
Reaching for heaven but dipping slowly into sin
Believing
That it wasnít too late
While trying but failing to
Turn love to hate

If I had somehow known
That Iíd need a heart
As hard as stone
To move mountains
All on my own
But I didnít know
I didnít know

Itís so easy for others to make the call
To risk it all
When all they can offer are words
But itís too late
Iíve already used them all
Over and over again
As I tumbled into free fall

Somehow I thought youíd come back again
And Iíd let you in
Reaching for heaven but dipping slowly into sin
Believing
That it wasnít too late
While trying but failing to
Turn love into hate

If I had somehow known
That the last time
Would be the very last time
Would I have turned around
Pretended I was blind
Spoke aloud what was on my mind
Would I have turned around
And touched your face
For the very last time
Would I?

Need 2 poets!

I was nominated for an International Poetry Challenge called #PeetMeNot. I donít understand the hashtag (or what ďpeetĒ means. It started in India by an award winning poet. I was nominated by a man in Florida. Itís an 8 day challenge (8 poems). Just FYI, itís through Facebook, which I tend to avoid, and you must also post a picture of yourself each day.
Today is my 6th day. On my 8th day, Iím supposed to nominate one or two new poets to carry the torch. If anyone is interested, please let me know and, if itís not too much trouble, could you send a sample?
Iíve mostly been creative with my pictures, showing only part of my face, but yesterday I just took a selfie. Today Iím using my face but with a veil. I donít think there are specific rules about the photo, which for some reason for me is the hardest part. If you are considering it, Iíd be happy to send you a few of mine.
I know we have very talented writers here at DU, so fingers crossed! 🤞 💕

Preaching to the Choir

Preaching to the Choir
Death in daylight screamed to us
A message to the wise
Close your heart to evil now
And open up your eyes

On the narrow walk of fate
Balancing lifeís high wire
Youíre passing down divisive hate
Preaching to your choir

Yesterdayís mistakes repeating
Lessons learned in vain
History repeats itself
Bleeding from the pain

Your words come back to haunt you
Hiding behind guns for hire
Amplify insanity
To feed your rabid choir

The masses rise up now united
Left with little choice
A force of solidarity
The world now has one voice

Youíre stumbling to the gates of hell
A blackened soul on fire
Youíre not fooling anyone
Just preaching to your choir

Violence, lies, and bigotry
Are all that you inspire
False prophet for the worst of us
Preaching to your choir


Burn It (from Trump poetry)

This was written as lyrics, so itís repetitive....

Burn It

Thereís change in the air
Thereís blood on the streets
Weíre drawing the lines
Weíre up on our feet
It comes down to now
Itís wrong or itís right
Weíre standing our ground
Weíre ready to fight

Burn it, Brother
Burn it down
Turn it, Sister
Turn it around
The futureís here
Itís the past again
Burn it down
So we can rise again

We worship false gods
And choose money over souls
We count as worthless
The sick, the homeless and the old
Weíve shielded ours eyes
Away from decency and light
Now weíve awakened
To find a terminal night

Burn it, Brother
Burn it down
Turn it, Sister
Turn it around
The futureís here
Itís the past again
Burn it down
So we can rise again

Thereís change in the air
Thereís blood on the streets
We lift our voices
Weíre up on our feet
This is our moment
Itís wrong or itís right
This is our future
Weíre ready to fight

Burn it, Brother
Burn it down
Turn it, Sister
Turn it around
The futureís here
Itís the past again
Burn it down
So we can rise again

Enough (From Trump collection)

ENOUGH

The flames of fire from yesterday
Burns my face with shame
Weíd pretended that things were different
Deep-down they were the same.

Black rock below our feet
Our marching footsteps like a roar
This time we cannot allow
Things to go on as before

So we rise up and stand together
We need to end this forever
Itís been said
We all bleed red
Enough

Hating people for no sin
But the color of their skin
Is a cancer on society
That will eat us from within

Destruction swirling all around
So dangerous I want to leave
But I canít unsee what Iíve seen
We heard him saying, ďI canít breathe.Ē

So we rise up and stand together
We need to end this forever
Itís been said
We all bleed red
Enough

Poetry in The Time of Trump

We wrap ourselves in Stars and Stripes
And hide behind Godís might
Proclaim false persecution and
Pretend weíve lost our rights

Humanity and Justice
Are left bleeding in the street
Equality stands silently
While brotherhood just weeps

Iím on my knees
Iím begging please
Can you forgive us for our sin
I pray for you
To guide us through
This nightmare that weíre in.

Those who walked before us cry
The man who had a dream
We parrot back the words he said
But donít know what they mean

Oh my Lord
Forgive us for
This ugly thing
That weíve become
We turned our hearts
Toward the dark
Instead of toward the Son

Iím on my knees
Iím begging please
Can you forgive us for our sin
I pray for you
To guide us through
This nightmare that weíre in.

Preaching to the Choir

Preaching to the Choir

Death in daylight screamed to us
A message to the wise
Close your heart to evil now
And open up your eyes

On the narrow walk of fate
Balancing lifeís high wire
Youíre passing down divisive hate
Preaching to your choir

Yesterdayís mistakes repeating
Lessons learned in vain
History repeats itself
Bleeding from the pain

Your words come back to haunt you
Hiding behind guns for hire
Amplify insanity
To feed your rabid choir

The masses rise up now united
Left with little choice
A force of solidarity
The world now has one voice

Youíre stumbling to the gates of hell
A blackened soul on fire
Youíre not fooling anyone
Just preaching to your choir

Violence, lies, and bigotry
Are all that you inspire
False prophet for the worst of us
Preaching to your choir

Drowning in Grief

? Maybe as a title?

Very personal and I think itís pretty. I live on the coast, so I find I often use salt water imagery.


Lying in our bed alone
Your touch-
Your touch too far to reach
Memories of we
Wash over me
Like waves rolling on the beach

First theyíre lapping at my edges
Then Iím crashing to the ground
The swirling tides of yesterday
Left me-
Left me almost drowned

And I was falling
Twisting and tumbling in the surf
Couldnít find the place between heaven
Between heaven
And the earth

The darkness of pain was suffocating
Looking up and searching for the light
Almost didnít care
If I ran out of air
Iíd lost
Iíd lost the will to fight

The tears, they left me breathless
Like the rolling crashing of the waves
Clinging to some picture perfect fantasy
Of more idyllic days

And I was falling
Twisting and crashing through the surf
Couldnít find the place between heaven
Between heaven
And the earth

The tide, you know
It ebbs and flows
But never looks for fault
Washes away
The pain of yesterday
But leaves
Leaves the taste of salt

And the rippled sea of life
Even after all these years
Baptizes me
With seasoned memories
Tasting vaguely of my tears

And I was falling
Tumbling and crashing through the surf
Couldnít find the place between heaven
Between heaven
And the earth

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