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LSFL

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Member since: Sun May 21, 2017, 04:21 AM
Number of posts: 1,096

Journal Archives

Beck... Loser. To Trump

If video games make children violent,

How come it's so easy to beat the shit out of them?

Jkjkjkjk...

Who is the first Irishman to emerge in the spring?

Paddy O' Furniture.

I will see myself out.

And now for my EPIC, PARADIGM SHIFTING, EARTH SHATTERING 1000TH POST!

Long have we heard rumors and back room whisperings of Hidden Worlds, tales of wonder and magicks beyond the ken of ordinary men! From Atlantis and Lemuria to UFOS and Bigfoot...we have pondered them all in our circle of fire light; wondering how and if these things could ever be true.

Well, tonight, I bring the open minded absolute proof that these things are indeed possible and that dimensions alongside ours are very real. You will know that your imaginings are real and your soul will be liberated in the knowledge that you were right all along. Draw your children close as joyful tears of enlightenment run from your eyes!

As for those who greet my revelation with the arched brow of skepticism, well bless their hearts, for THEY SHALL HAVE NOTHING!!!

Follow along as I prove my claims. It is repeatable and anyone can do it.

1: Procure a booger from your own or a volunteer's nostril.

2: Roll the booger between your forefinger and thumb until it is dense and sticky and gently adheres to the pad of your thumb.

3: Using your forefinger, flick the compressed booger into the largest open space before you.

It is gone! You will never see it or find it again! I surmise that it has left our earthly realm and entered the Shadow World from which all our mysteries arise!

There you go. Proof positive of the Hidden World!

Oh..Don't thank me. Just be grateful that you got to feel the warmth of my aura upon your wonderstruck face!

Thanks for 4 years of support and sanity DU. Here's to 4 more in better times.

I really wanted to use my 999th post to promote my paradigm shifting 1000th post.

But here we are. President Shit Goblin praises the positivity rate in the US as a good thing. In doing so he dismisses the deaths of nearly one half million Americans as the cost of doing business.

I am never one to wish ill upon my enemies, even when they tried to kill me over there, I got it. I would do the same if the roles were reversed.

But this...this...this... piece of shit self sucking imbecilic mother fucking titty sucking two balled (allegedly) bitch takes the goddamned cake.

I hope he dies.

For all the families out there who have lost sons, daughters, aunts, uncles brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, grandchildren, great grandparents, cousins... let him die. His so called family will not care. But goddammit the rest of us need some karmic justice and closure.

May he drown in his own respiratory effluvium.

Soon I will reach my 1000th post.

This is a real achievement for me, usually at about 200 posts on message boards I call someone important a self sucking turd swallower and get banned. I don't know if I have matured or if you all are really nice (as a dem living in a deep red area, my hairy knuckles sometimes drag the ground) but I appreciate your patience and understanding.

For my 1000th post I reveal absolute proof of the Hidden World! You can do the experiment at home! Tune in and be amazed!

To my dear wife:

If you ask me to do something I will do it.

You don't have to nag me every six months about it.

I just polished off the last of the lemon meringue pie from Thanksgiving

I made it from scratch and it was lovely. I told everyone it didn't come out right so I could have it all to myself. I have no regrets. That's what these ungrateful Philistines get for not even trying my giant stuffed pasta shells!

Katy Perry vs. Trump

You can turn down the sound and watch Katy Perry "sing" for hours.. Trump, not so much

Seriously, mute it and watch Trump. Still gross.

I could use a little commiseration.

The last words I will likely ever say to my mom were. "Mom. Biden clearly won." She has blocked me on everything, including my work number. She would not even talk to me through my children on Thanksgiving, (well she did tell my daughter to tell me to shit and fall back in it)

I have worked hard far the past decade trying to forgive her and move forward, past all the neglect, hunger, abuse, poverty and danger that she exposed me and my sister to as children. I have tried to love her despite her embarrassingly vocal racism and other cringeworthy behavior. All gone because of one statement of fact. I know it is her loss, but finding a path to forgiveness and healing was very important to me for my own wellbeing.

The jokes on her. I still love her. And forgiving her for this is small potatoes compared to many other things. Ha. Did you ever think passive aggressive forgiveness was a thing? I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am going to take a walk. Allergies are making my eyes water. Or something.
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