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Member since: Thu May 18, 2017, 10:20 AM
Number of posts: 1,182

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"Why didn't she say something?"

The thing is, she probably already did.

Maybe in kindergarten about the boy who wanted to show her his penis, but she was told to just look away.

Or it could have been in fifth grade about the kid who sat behind her and whispered things under his breath over and over again, she was told it's because he likes her and doesn't know how to show it. Did she try talking to him?

She might have said something in junior high about the boys who tried to grope her in the hallway, but was told she was trouble. There's a dress code, after all!

When she said something in high school about that one guy on the football team, she may have been told she was a slut or a bitch. Probably both.

In college, she might have mentioned the dropout who shows up at parties and hits on the freshman girls, at which point everyone wondered why she had to be such a fucking downer or so uptight.

At work she may have had the courage to ask about that guy in accounting who offers backrubs in the break room, at which point she was told he does that to everyone.

When she asked her guy friends for to do something about their friend who says the most inappropriate things when he comes over to watch football, they may have said it's hard for him since his dad died and they want to be there for him, you know?

It goes on and on. This is what rape culture looks like: disbelief of women's experiences. Putting men's feelings above women's safety. There are women who speak out. There are women who speak until they're heard -- and supported, and advocated for, and understood. But it can be hard.

I was thinking about this after reading this (long) advice column. It was so, so familiar to me and probably will be to many of you as well. Women need men to hear them the first time they say things about other men in their midst.

Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Tue Oct 10, 2017, 04:26 PM (63 replies)

The Rock Test: A Hack for Men Who Dont Want To Be Accused of Sexual Harassment


Are you a man confused on how to treat the women you work with? Do you feel like if you can’t say or do *anything* you don’t know what to say or do at all? Well stress no more! This life hack will have you treating women like people in no time.

From Harvey Weinstein to like all of Uber, it seems each day a wealthy and powerful man is being brought down by accusations of sexual harassment or assault. And just today the New York Times reported that men are becoming less likely to mentor females out of fear.


While navigating professional relationships can often require that dreaded thing known as “any amount of work at all”, there is hope. You see, by following this one simple rule, you too can interact with women as people.

It’s as clear cut as this: Treat all women like you would treat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

I cackled. Having seen and heard sentiments along the lines of "It's gotten so you can't ________ anymore!" here and in other progressive circles, I thought this might be helpful to some.
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Tue Oct 10, 2017, 10:41 AM (46 replies)

Facing Facts: American Identity is Based on Alternate History


I studied this particular book for a full year—in a display of singular dedication to an idea, the teacher designed her entire district-approved curriculum around it. The premise of this particular alternate history was “what if everything was fine?”

This supposition was carried through the text with a level of meticulous finesse that I’ve never seen anywhere else. It permeated every facet of the built world on which the book was focused. What if, the book supposed, America had been entirely undiscovered prior to 1492? What if the Pilgrims had been a peaceful, God-loving people? What if they had worked together with the Native population, rather than slaughtering them and stealing their land? What if voyages of exploration were driven by a pure, heartfelt desire to expand the map of the world, and nobody had ever been interested in gold or drugs or slaves?

What if everything was fine?

What if the country wasn’t built on the backs of enslaved peoples? What if slavery was rare, and when it happened, the slaves were usually treated quite well? What if the founding fathers who did own slaves were good guys who should be admired and celebrated? What if sexual assault didn’t exist? What if the Trail of Tears was a mutual endeavor? What if the Civil War was driven more by dry economic and political factors than by a desire to perpetuate the subjugation of slaves? What if America never participated in eugenics? What if America was always staunchly anti-fascist and anti-Nazi?
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Wed Oct 4, 2017, 03:09 PM (3 replies)

They thought they were going to rehab. They ended up in chicken plants.


The worst day of Brad McGahey’s life was the day a judge decided to spare him from prison.

McGahey was 23 with dreams of making it big in rodeo, maybe starring in his own reality TV show. With a 1.5 GPA, he’d barely graduated from high school. He had two kids and mounting child support debt. Then he got busted for buying a stolen horse trailer, fell behind on court fines and blew off his probation officer.

Standing in a tiny wood-paneled courtroom in rural Oklahoma in 2010, he faced one year in state prison. The judge had another plan.

“You need to learn a work ethic,” the judge told him. “I’m sending you to CAAIR.”

Long read looking at the intersection of addiction, the way our "justice" system is built on punishment, the fetishization of "hard work," and economic exploitation
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Wed Oct 4, 2017, 03:04 PM (8 replies)

White men have much to discuss about mass shootings


Imagine if African American men and boys were committing mass shootings month after month, year after year. Articles and interviews would flood the media, and we’d have political debates demanding that African Americans be “held accountable.” Then, if an atrocity such as the Newtown, Conn., shootings took place and African American male leaders held a news conference to offer solutions, their credibility would be questionable. The public would tell these leaders that they need to focus on problems in their own culture and communities.

But when the criminals and leaders are white men, race and gender become the elephant in the room.


If life were equitable, white male gun-rights advocates would face some serious questions to assess their degree of credibility and objectivity. We would expect them to explain:

What facets of white male culture create so many mass shootings?

Why are so many white men and boys producing and entertaining themselves with violent video games and other media?

Why do white men buy, sell and manufacture guns for profit; attend gun shows; and demonstrate for unrestricted gun access disproportionately more than people of other ethnicities or races?

Why are white male congressmen leading the fight against gun control?

If Americans ask the right questions on gun issues, we will get the right answers.
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Mon Oct 2, 2017, 10:20 AM (4 replies)

How to Protest Without Offending White People


Don’t Say ‘White’

I have no idea why, but white people hate it when anyone uses the phrase “white people,” because, for some reason, they consider it a pejorative. When protesting police brutality, education inequality, unfair housing practices or anything else, you must be careful not to “make it all about race”—even if the thing you’re protesting is all about race.

Refer to racism as a “social issue.” Instead of slinging the phrase “white supremacy” around all willy-nilly, you can instead refer to it as “structural inequality.” If your “underprivileged” child has been fenced into a poorly funded educational system, call it an “inner-city school.”

Uttering the words “white people” only serves as a reminder of their historic ties to oppression, which can only be negated by their instinctual regurgitation of the preamble to all white excuses: “Not all white people ...” Even if you make your protest about a “societal issue” that’s not about race, you still shouldn’t expect them to join in or approve.

They already heard you say “white people.”

It goes on. Good stuff.
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Tue Sep 26, 2017, 10:40 AM (30 replies)

Roald Dahl wanted "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" hero to be black


Liccy Dahl told BBC Radio 4's Today programme her husband had written about a "little black boy".

But Dahl's agent thought the idea a bad one and insisted the character be changed - something Dahl's widow said was a "great pity".

She said seeing the 1964 children's book as her husband had intended it would be "wonderful".


"It was his agent who thought it was a bad idea, when the book was first published, to have a black hero," said Sturrock. "She said: 'People would ask why.'"
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Thu Sep 14, 2017, 08:12 PM (8 replies)

Woman works to become historian in prison, is released, gets accepted to Harvard -- then rejected.

Michelle Jones was released last month after serving more than two decades in an Indiana prison for the murder of her 4-year-old son. The very next day, she arrived at New York University, a promising Ph.D. student in American studies.

In a breathtaking feat of rehabilitation, Jones, now 45, became a published scholar of American history while behind bars, and presented her work by videoconference to historians’ conclaves and the Indiana General Assembly. With no internet access and a prison library that skewed toward romance novels, she led a team of inmates that poured through reams of photocopied documents from the state archives to produce the Indiana Historical Society’s best research project last year. As prisoner No. 970554, Jones also wrote several dance compositions and historical plays, one of which is slated to open at an Indianapolis theater in December.

N.Y.U. was one of several top schools that recruited her for their doctoral programs. She was also among 18 selected from more than 300 applicants to Harvard University’s history program. But in a rare override of a department’s authority to choose its graduate students, Harvard’s top brass overturned Jones’s admission after some professors raised concerns that she downplayed her crime during the application process.

Elizabeth Hinton, one of the Harvard historians who backed Jones, called her “one of the strongest candidates in the country last year, period.” The case “throws into relief,” she added, the question of “how much do we really believe in the possibility of human redemption?”

Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Thu Sep 14, 2017, 09:18 AM (9 replies)

How Bout This, Tina Fey: Give Us (Black People) the Sheet Cake, and You Go Confront the White Women


How ’Bout This, Tina Fey: Give Us (Black People) the Sheet Cake, and You Go Confront the White Women Who Voted for Trump
The term “white privilege” is incorporated so much in the progressive lexicon that it’s become an abstract catchall. In Fey’s case, however—and with white women with similar statuses and politics—it’s helpful to be as literal as possible. Because she is white, Tina Fey possesses the privilege of access. She can go places I just cannot go, can hear conversations I’ll never be within earshot of, and can grab audiences I’d never keep. And not just because she’s a celebrity, but because she’s a white woman, and the type of white people who need to be reached are more likely to listen to her than to me.

Of course, her sheet-caking bit came several hours before Panama Jackson published a piece here, in which he’s considering ending his relationship with his own mother because of her abhorrent views. These are the types of conversations and confrontations white people need to have with other white people (and themselves) if they’re sincere about attempting to combat white supremacy. We (black people) have done enough. We’ll continue to do what we’re doing, but there are limits. Because there are people we’ll just never reach.

So maybe the next time Tina Fey is in the cake-buying mood, she should give the cake to us instead, and then go and talk to the people we can’t. And when she’s done, she can come back and get a slice.
Posted by WhiskeyGrinder | Sat Aug 19, 2017, 08:25 AM (166 replies)
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