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winetourdriver01

Profile Information

Name: Barry
Gender: Male
Home country: USA
Current location: San Francisco
Member since: Sat Jan 21, 2017, 05:39 PM
Number of posts: 449

About Me

Retired

Journal Archives

The view from the Tenderloin



The View from the Tenderloin:
All I can say is whew. The last three days were grueling, thirty five miles of back and forth between the old and new apartments, some of it in the rain, hauling everything I wanted, and my friend and I could cope with. It was worth every step. I love the new place. It's senior housing, and everyone is being very careful, the plague would go through here like a dose of salts. I've got my old business partner cleared as my in home care provider, which is he, and damned good too. He will be able to come and go at will. Other than that, like all the other residents, it's a no visitor policy until after the emergency.
My homeless buddy is on his own for now. I've asked the Devine to watch and protect him, it's all i can do. He knows where I moved to, eventually he will come by. He won't be able to come up, but there are many wonderful places in this neighborhood we can go for visitis. Our visits are best when short, and his demons don't have time to really start in on me. We've done this for four years, and neither of us are going to give up any time soon.
Please hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Wed Apr 8, 2020, 07:52 PM (6 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin

The view from the Tenderloin
It's been something of an ordeal, but I'm starting my third morning of hand-hauling my belongings, with the help of my old business partner. The plan for a vehicle fell through, oh well. So far, on my trips back and forth, I've logged twenty two miles, and lost ten pounds. I am amazed at what a tough old bastard I am. The new place is coming together, I slept there last night on my own bed. It's sweet. The view out the windows at night, looking north towards the financial district, is breath taking.
The homeless have been distilled down to their essence. Some of the sights I've seen are heart breaking. I can't even describe some of these poor wretches. My little buddy is refusing to deal with our new situation. I saw him yesterday, he was exhausted, looked miserable, and wanted to come up to the old apartment to sleep. I begged him to go to a shelter, he has to, he is out of options. Turning him away sends shock waves through my soul.
I left early to start doing runs, the sky was just getting light as I moved through the hood towards Hyde street. I stopped briefly and turned to look back, and saw the Hilton tower standing against the lit sky like a giant tombstone. Ours? Not yet I thought, not yet.
Please hold those dear to you close.
God save the Republic
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:58 AM (0 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin



The View from the Tenderloin:

Well, it's been raining, hard. I've done three round trips to the new place, hauling loads on my handcart that my old business partner is putting together. Forty eight point six blocks. I'm going to do three more today. My homeless friend is half way up the block on Hyde, in the midst of an OCD event, one of his defense mechanisms he goes to when he cannot deal with what is happening. He, and his belongings are soaked. I've explained to him repeatedly, that after the shelter in place order is lifted, he can come to me at the new place. The demons in his head are telling him something else. I would prefer him wait inside the old place, but my old business partner won't do anything to help if friend two is there. I get it coming and going.
I am already beat, and I am trying to pace myself. I've got today and tomorrow to get as much done as I can.
Try, hard, for Gods sake, to keep those dear to you close.
God save the Republic
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Sun Apr 5, 2020, 03:41 PM (9 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin


The View from the Tenderloin:

The impact of this Plague is breathtaking. Seeing the City this empty is surreal. The masks. I've been wearing mine, not only in the public areas of buildings, but more and more on the street. On a personal level, the impact on my household, even though all three of us contracted it and are immune now, is horrific. Normally I have two housemates. One of them is homeless and comes and goes randomly, the other has an SRO room in a nightmare of a building, and hates to use it. I am in the process of moving into senior housing, and with the shelter in place rules, neither will be able to come over. I understand the ones reluctance to use the SRO room, I've lived in that building, and nightmare doesn't even do it justice. I got permission from the manager here at Hyde Street to have my homeless buddy here for a few days to help me move. He and I are old friends of four years, and we have been through it. I am beyond appalled to have to send him back out there during this pandemic. It is a nightmare. The stress levels from all this are toxic, an ordeal within an ordeal.
Try to hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Sat Apr 4, 2020, 08:48 PM (2 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:
By noon today I had walked five point eight miles, and learned the hard way that the pot clubs are only doing orders placed online for pick up at the curb. I waited a full hour in line to get two money orders, then walked to the new apartment to get the keys. By the time I had signed a few things, and the manager gave me the tour, I was shot. It was an incredible relief to sit for a few minutes in the comfy leather rocker the previous tenant had left. The good news is that I love the place, though it's half the size of the Hyde St. Apartment, the building is much newer. Everybody wore masks, it is a senior housing. I can have helpers to move in, as long as they are masked, but then absolutely no guests for the time being. Since the last four years have been, um, interesting, I can't help thinking what a blessing in disguise this enforced peace is going to be.
I will make a serious attempt to get my stuff over there over the weekend, both large and small. It will be a labor of love. My old business partner is helping, and since my little buddy stopped by, he may help as well. Masked, of course.
Hold those dear to you close.
God save the Republic
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Fri Apr 3, 2020, 06:04 PM (0 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin

he View from the Tenderloin:
It's still dark and quiet outside my windows, a bit dark inside myself as well. I'm getting the keys to my new apartment tomorrow, and I've made arrangements for a vehicle to help me move. A new start, a new home. My facebook friends are growing in importance to me, and I am grateful for their continued support. The support I've gotten from medical professionals here make me realize how fortunate I am to be living in SF. I have a telephone appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon, and I'm organizing my thoughts for that.
It's frustrating to me, that after four years, I'm still struggling with retirement. Something, on the face of it,that should be simple, it's not. I'm moving from my beautiful Hyde Street apartment. An old fashioned three room studio with eight foot ceilings, wooden floors, and bay windows, because of problems with management caused by my inability to control the situation. A failing by any standard. I've been called weak, and I'm ashamed of that. My two close friends here, I realize now, have both been abusive, and I feel adrift. I have to rethink everything.
After I get moved, I'm going to spend some time alone, and do just that.
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Thu Apr 2, 2020, 04:28 PM (1 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin


The View from the Tenderloin:
Well, it's April first, April fools day. This is going to be an abbriviated post, as I am a bit upset. I never know for sure if I'm going to be paid on the first or the third, but I was very much hoping it would be the first this month. It's not. Which means I won't be able to start moving to the new place until Friday, and I have to be out of my old apartment on Monday. I have no vehicle to help, no resources to get one, and only one friend who, reluctantly, has agreed to help me hand carry what can be hand carried. The electronics, my clothes, and the kitchen gear. All my furniture has to be abandoned.
The stress we all feel from the pandemic, added to the stress I feel from not know where my little buddy with the personality disorder is, and now this, it's overwhelming. I've often told my little buddy that stuff is just stuff, and can be replaced. I'm eating those words now, and it sucks.
God save the Republic.
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Wed Apr 1, 2020, 07:50 AM (0 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin



The View from the Tenderloin:
The last day of a very trying month. I'm not sure if I'm getting my retirement social security tomorrow or Friday, some months it's the first, some it's the third. Which ever day it is, I will take two money orders to my new building manager and get the keys to my place. A new apartment, in a new neighborhood (soma), and the the first time in two years, I'll be living by myself. Senior housing, and I am looking forward to it very much.
My morning walk provides me time to think and gather impressions. Also sing. I love to sing along with the music I listen to on my blue-tooth head phones. The empty streets provide a venue for that, I don't want others to hear. I got a bit sloppy in that regard today, someone caught my eye. When I took the head phones off he asked, with a sparkle in his eye, “what did you do with the money?” What money I asked. “The money your parents gave you for singing lessons.” He said it with a grin, and it spiked my good mood. I love this town.
These empty streets are spoiling me, I'm wondering if others feel the same. I saw on the news this morning that Oakland is moving their homeless into all the empty hotel rooms. I contacted Mayor Breed here in SF and asked if she would consider doing the same, I like her, but I'm not going to hold my breath. I haven't seen my little buddy with the personality disorder for a while now, and my thoughts and prayers walk with him, wherever he is.
Keep those dear to your close
God save the Republic
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Tue Mar 31, 2020, 12:39 PM (3 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin



The View from the Tenderloin:
A fine morning, the fluffy white clouds, blue skies and clean light giving an air of optimism and renewal. Without hundreds of thousands of commuters coming into the City these streets belong to the residents now, and they are coming out. Cautiously, many gloved and masked, but coming out they are. The frantic pace of new construction continues, I had one worker wave me to the other side of Market street, when I looked up I saw why. They were setting a platform on the edge of some new construction, and he wanted me out of harms way if something went wrong.
As I walked in front of a Walgreens, I saw a heroin addict bent over at the waste, as you often see happen. There was a very straight young white guy standing and watching, I stopped to chat, said it's heroin, and he replied that he knew. He said he was a police officer, waiting to go to work at the Walgreens when they opened. I talked a bit about how the homeless situation was exacerbated by those who should be institutionalized instead of wandering the streets. I talked briefly about my buddy with the pervasive personality disorder, how I had been advocating for him for four years now, and that he was currently out here. He thanked me for my efforts. He replied that the City Council did not agree with me, that they felt taking those people off the streets would violate their rights. It pains me that they feel that way, if, for no other reason than it puts both them and us in danger. I may be a fool, and an old fool at that, but I don't go out unarmed. I don't carry a gun, there are other ways, but I do it specifically for that reason. The hookers pimps and street dealers are all quite evident. The formal economy may be shutting down, but the underground economy is thriving. The pot clubs have cut their prices and are doing free deliveries. Same for the restaurants, the ones that haven't shuttered. Life goes on.
Keep those you hold dear close
God save the Republic.
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Mon Mar 30, 2020, 12:51 PM (0 replies)

The view from the Tenderloin



The View from the Tenderloin:

One of my neighborhood parks, (I have a foto, can't figure out how to add it) looking rather forlorn and empty. It was cold, breezy, and rainy this morning as I took my walk. The homeless, as it was still early, were still huddled in their tents, the lucky ones, others were under dirty blankets and sleeping bags. The oblivion of sleep, and dreams, preferable to the harsh reality of life on the streets. Grey and empty, a sad parady of the city I once knew.
This is the last Sunday in the Hyde street apartment I've occupied for the last two years and three months. The memories that are lasered into my mind are astonishing. I've known joy, love, hate, terror and wonder. I've dealt with heroes and villians, lovers and Demons. I've had epic battles with management over trying to shelter my homeless friend, that well has definately been poisoned. It's why I'm moving. I haven't seen my little buddy for ten days or so, and I try not to think about him too much. When I'm feeling rational and thinking clearly, it doesn't bother me too badly, but when that situation catches me off guard it's like being hit by a sledge hammer, the tears flow and I gasp for breath. I will see him again, I just don't know when. The demons in his head are well known to me, and I to them. When I get on them too hard, for too long, they drive him away. They can't keep him away though, I'm all he has in this cold world.
Hold those dear to you close.
God save the Republic.
Posted by winetourdriver01 | Sun Mar 29, 2020, 01:08 PM (1 replies)
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