This Mercury retrograde has got the wayback machine cranking on overdrive for me. Family and co-workers alike keep inadvertently bringing up early childhood traumas.
Complex PTSD, starting in my case with a fall all the way down a flight of stairs at just under a year old and sequelae keeps emerging in my dreams, if later traumas being subjects of discussion since I better understand the issues involved. There was some immature caregiver neglect involved.

Some years ago I had nightmare extinguishing therapy involving Blue Methylene enhanced exposure treatment for more recent traumatic events that was disrupting my sleep. It was indescribably intense, but effective. Now I wish I could find a similar treatment for my worst PTSD pickle that's effected me more profoundly than I ever have been cognizant of.

I know I've always been a bit

Once a respected part of the LGBTQ+ movement, the Log Cabin Republicans, like large swathes of the GOP, embraced Donald Trump and everything he stood for. The organization has defended Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law by comparing its opponents to pedophiles, opposed landmark LGBTQ+ nondiscrimination legislation, and has repeatedly been rejected by the Republican Party.

The group has targeted Chasten Buttigieg, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg’s husband, in an effort to portray him as an effete gadfly. Chasten Buttigieg is a former elementary school teacher and outspoken critic of the Florida law.

The radicalized organization has also compared LGBTQ+ people to child molesters, saying queer teachers are trying to “groom” and “indoctrinate” young kids. Earlier this week, the group’s San Antonio chapter members joined armed extremists to protest outside a drag show featuring queens from RuPaul’s Drag Race. The organizing group, This Is Texas Freedom Force, has been labeled an “extremist militia group” by the FBI.

Linked article started in on Kelly Anne's recent antics on Sean Hannity show, then veered off into Log Cabin's dipshittery for some reason. I've always thought of them as hypocritical but... wow. Just f'n wow.
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/12/kellyanne-conway-condones-attacks-drag-shows/

Gee does TFG have a nasty wart to be removed?
Oh, wait. It's the whole...
Never-ending.

https://news.berkeley.edu/2020/12/07/despite-drift-toward-authoritarianism-trump-voters-stay-loyal-why/
Article sheds some light.
I personally can't fathom Trump support at all.
But recalling the depths of ignorance encountered in a small rural coal mining community in the late 1970's, as a teenager I believed I'd encountered peak dipshittery when a gruff old snaggletoothed chain smoker, great grandfather of my momentary cohort actually took one look at my bookworm countenance and with a scoff piped up with "Awww Dat book larnin' Doan do ya no good".
I stood astonished just a moment.
Then realized the source of the local reverence for ignorance.
Beyond that shudder producing scenario I realize that particular cohort probably was left behind: in what now is a ramshackle, boarded up mess of a town with meth addicts stumbling down the main thoroughfare.
TFG stood there proclaiming he was their last great hope.

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/12/virginia-restaurant-refuses-serve-anti-lgbtq-organization-ignites-firestorm-debate/
Firestorm debate my ass.
Note the attempt at false equivalency here:
Comparing herself to people denied service, rights, even human dignity due to inherent traits compared to her
CHOICE
to be a self-righteous bigot encouraging more bigotry.
If the courts don't stop falling for this false equivalency in all these bullshit "religious liberty" cases, we're inching that much closer to concentration camps and repeating the most shameful periods of history.
I'll reiterate to any of the "choice to be LGBTQ" kneejerkers:
The only choice I make is to be honest with myself and others. *and*...
So when did you decide to be straight?

But methinks the MAGA's have now earned the undisputable world champion SORE LOSERS at this point.
👉 https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/28/politics/arizona-county-delays-election-challenges/index.html

I've been to that club, once, on a visit to my brother in Pueblo. I had a weird experience with that: some little group was hanging out at the driveway to that club, jumped out and snapped a pic of the back of my car.
When I mentioned this to someone in the club, he replied "Oh that's just Focus on Other People's Family zombies. You're officially on their petition to some cruel diety to send you to hell now." "OIC."
There's not a shadow of doubt this was a RW, and possibly "religion motivated" hate crime and many who call themselves "Xtian" also have blood spatter all over them.

I'm part of the next wave of retirees. I'm probably going to be forced to take my social security a little early due to recent cancer diagnosis. And I'm screwed, after countless occasions of being screwed.
Even towards the 80's it was becoming the norm for corporate entities to eject most employees before they become retirement responsibilities. I also joined the "gig" generation long ago that turns over even quicker, but short term gains are significant. It's been those in-between gig times, never able to save up significant amounts, emergencies and more recently medical bills have repeatedly forced me to drain retirement savings.
Most of my retirement funds went to the fund brokers, who charge back exorbitant fees for early withdrawal.
Oh, no you don't go there, older boomer, and I'll tell you why. Those who have fallen under that healthy retirement fund status are the norm of my generation-- not the exception and becoming quickly more the norm. When I've mentioned this in the workplace there are a dozen, in a dozen different work settings Ive gigged for now, drop the pretentious shit ready to chime in about their story of having to empty their own retirement accounts! And a few, very obviously privileged few, that sheepishly excuse themselves from the conversation at hand.
These vultures have stolen enough from me. I do better stashing away the damn cash than those "retirement fund" gambling. If the job market is bad, the rich get richer and working Americans get screwed.
Most of my relatives are of that boomer generation. Bought homes with clean walls long ago I'll never know, and travel the nation and the world on their "pensions". Most are Democrats but I've made mention of "Gee how very Republican of you" countless times from getting an "I got mine, get your own" attitude about my generation. Not for long: it only takes a few highly enlightening, simple, honest economic comparisons can embarrass the holy crap out of them! They soon discover they have something in the oven they gotta go and...
Now there's an important reason I'm mentioning this here. One factor has been Republican presidential administrations--- I've never, unexceptionally, gotten through the end of a Republican presidential administration with a job! Period! My field is very market-driven, and by the time they've gotten done taking the wrecking ball to the working class's world there aren't any gigs. At GWB's end of term it took 6 months, not one opening that didn't garner thousands of applicants. I was draines further than ever. There it is: forced again to blow through assets we worked so hard to scrimp and save beyond much of older boomers imaginations. I recall my older relatives whining about having to cut down on luxuries.
Now, the screwed over generation is getting ready to retire without but only a ramshackle set of belongings, veritably no savings possible for 50 years and barely enough to eek by collection of the social security we paid into. There's not enough to pay for end of life care for most of us.
And now there's the likes of Rick Scrooge trying to steal that.

Headed into Flagstaff to shop, after an overwhelming deposit went into my account from GoFundMe. There was nearly 10X my goal in there!!! I didn't expect that!
It turns out much serendipity to it, via more good news.
Not only will I see my doctor and get tests, but I'm hired for a job starting mid-November! I'll get back on track altogether, then pay off my first hospital bill sooner (the one on low payments but it's a whopper)
I've turned off the donations. It will be more than enough, but greatly advantageous for fixing a number of items in disrepair, obtain Tiago's heartworm chews (one left), and pay rent up front when I start new gig.
Once I'm money ahead enough I'll be certain to return this good karma somehow. It's restored my faith in people that had gotten a bit dark after unexpected layoff.
Thank you again, keep the faith DU'ers!
Let's pray the midterms go well! Screw those MAGA idiots. Just driving around Arizona are some facepalmworthy crazy campaign signs.

Quickly losing signal for internet, and I slept in till almost sunrise. Calls come across but after sunrise, internet pages only freeze here.
When I drove into Seligman yesterday there was 3000 dollars in this gofundme and I think I got all the bank transfer stuff set up. I broke out in tears of joy right there outside the library and was glad no one was nearby at that moment.
More, possible good news but I'm not "counting chickens till the eggs hatch": another job prospect may be calling me today. It's a remote place, sort of low pay but low expenses too- but most meaningful is if it happens, now I start from ahead rather than weeks of making up for lost time. Specifically, if I can pay my own rent up front, I pocket the remainder of per diem pay.
And ultimately that means I can save up to: pay the COBRA coverage, get the scope, take recovery time, cover the co-pays and be far more knowing the status of my cancer.
I have to get busy "batting the hatches" of storage here and going through more stuff so it's all ready for winter storage, and listen for the phone.