The most horrifying discovery that I can't tolerate the treatment. I'm now shunned by my urologist who has no interest in listening to me.
The initial scope was painful, embarrassing and most distressing to me-- brought back PTSD nightmares about a childhood rape experience. Weird experience that took me decades and a lot of therapy to get over. That is until getting scoped.
I finally have an appointment with another urologist June 9th whi hopefully is more understanding about my request for sedation.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2664784/
https://ecancer.org/en/news/465-frankincense-oil-derived-from-boswellia-carteri-induces-bladder-tumor-cell-specific-cytotoxicity
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1319562X10001105
Posted without comment for later perusal.

RW media outlets have been twisting themselves into pretzels for so long now their hosts and followers have lost all sense of reality. This graphic represents what I get too emotionally invested in to express succinctly:
https://twitter.com/kody922/status/1497987348683845632?t=iOCbX-XgZxY8vKYS6cXHhA&s=19

Sometimes we all just must accept and shine on the absurd. Present gig has me situated with a co-worker with a good work ethic, mediocre sense of humor, largely pleasant demeanor. Not an anti-vaxxer as expected in ancillary medical gigs but possesses a consumingly nonsensical Xtian faith. Most cringeworthy, although by agreement we avoid political discussions beyond my providing some science based websites I suggest he peruse.
The interesting observation: this cohort will start pacing, getting agitated and projecting his sublimated guilt as digs about my "lib" stance---
*Just prior to stepping out to smoke a cigarette.*
Laughable if not such moments I dare not poke the bear.

A triumph of logic over the pentagon:
https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2022/04/11/military-cant-discriminate-against-HIV-postive-service0-members/5341649699304/

It seems Google's algorithm only detects "political" content, and I tire of flagging idiotic RW "gun rights" or other stupid meme T-shirts, "approve of Trump" or "frown on Biden" ads. Cheese, do they ever need to refine that algorithm. I've clicked "ad was inappropriate" countless times now.
Although it's a bit amusing attempts to sell loud, overstated T shirts no one would catch me dead in simply from poor, pedestrian taste, even if the messages were sensible on them.
Now here's a tasteful T shirt:

Having never been one since my tweens susceptible to deity myths, mulling over my recent cancer diagnosis simply didn't sideswipe me in the "classic" sense. I have to admit the very existence of backward, idiotic repuglicans disgusts me so profoundly, has caused my gay self more issues than I can count or care to recall. Truly I thought we'd evolve further than the likes of "Don't say Gay" bills, book burnings and vaccine retardation by now. November 2016 I was more inclined to apply for the peaceful euthanasia option than after 2020 by far. Still, my thoughts turn to a Voyager episode that stirred me and my own death wishes.

I want to take the hands off the clock. Trip the light fantastic or simply be truly at peace. "Because it's all been done" said the death-wish Q being, what a ridiculous irony that the Trekkie legend of the "Q" perverted now into such an idiotic connotation. Just put me down. I don't feel badly having not deposited a DNA replicant of myself, not to a world killing off it's own food chain, destroying the balance to breathe fresh air and with literally billions of it's inhabitants so sold on selfish myths. Omegan and fine with that, last of my line.
Filling out the papers to donate my body to science, I hope they can find me since I plan on being on the road till my heart stills.
Just seems part of an oddly drab routine now.
And there's an endless desert road just outside of here.

https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/sen-feinstein-announces-husbands-death/
"My heart is broken today. My husband was my partner and best friend for more than 40 years. He was by my side for the good times and for the challenges. I am going to miss him terribly,” Feinstein stated. “Dick was incredibly devoted to his family, particularly his daughters and his grandchildren, and my heart is with them and everyone who Dick encountered. He was the type of man who really replaced his divot in life, who left things better than he found them. His enormous generosity is an inspiration for so many of us.”