How about:

Hey, hey, Donnie J.

How many people you kill today?!

Other suggestions?

• Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.
The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

• I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I
turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

• I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

• Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or
The Bedroom

• PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.
Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

• Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1
teacher fired for drinking on the job.

• I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go
from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

• This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she
thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog....
we laughed a lot.

• So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just
find me or do I find them?

• Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You
have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no
clue how this place is still in business.

• Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb
threat.

• I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I
wear?

• I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda.
I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.


• Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the
same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

• Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

Have any of you had an opportunity to visit a drive thru or restaurant pickup? If so, how safe do you feel the experience was? We are both 67 years old and wife has Crohn's disease and meds cause her to be immune compromised.

Thanks in advance for your responses.

Oh yea, fuck the orange hemorrhoid!