Long ago one of my college professors posed this carefully worded question for discussion:
"During the modern civil rights era, what one individual's actions did the most to advance the cause of African American rights?"
Responses in class included Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Jackie Robinson and others.
After some discussion, our professor gave his own answer:
Bull Connor.
Bull Connor, as you recall, was the white racist Commissioner of Public Safety in Birmingham who is most remembered as the man who let loose the attack dogs on peaceful black protesters, and used high-powered fire hoses to slam them into walls and knock them down. All of this was captured and played over and over on national television, and the images have become iconic.
A great many white people in this country--possibly well meaning but ignorant--were shocked. They may have, in theory, been "all for" civil rights, but it wasn't a topic they thought was very important. The newscasts of what Bull Connor did in Birmingham woke them up. Oppression became real rather than abstract. The poison of hate was in their living rooms. Lyndon Johnson repeatedly used those images as a hammer that led to the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
The fight for gay rights and acceptance has historically been hampered less by hate than by indifference. A lot of well meaning straight folks may be in theory "all for" equal rights, but they never saw it as a topic of much importance. They never thought of it as a "civil rights" issue, and they didn't understand why gay people were making such a fuss about it.
Then along came The Rev. Fred Phelps and his little band of Westoro bigots. It's true there have been (and still are) many equally venomous anti-gay bigots, but Phelps somehow got a huge amount of national news coverage marching around with his signs. Well meaning straight people saw the signs and couldn't help wondering what it must be like to be the object of that hatred. They may have imagined for the first time what it would feel like to be a gay 14 year old and see a pastor telling you that God hates you.
For gay people, Fred Phelps was our Bull Connor. He brought the poison of hate into the living rooms of indifferent straight folks. I really believe that much of the amazing surge in support for marriage equality and the ending Don't Ask Don't Tell is the result of an awakened awareness brought about largely by "God Hates Fags."
As painful as it may be to see these guys, the worst of the bigots sometimes do the most to advance the cause of the people they hate.