Trump, as you know, was recently at the Vatican and in Jerusalem. What a lot of people don't know were some special meetings.

In his private meeting with the Pope, the Pope presented Trump with a golden telephone. "With this phone, you can talk directly to G-d," said the Pope. "But, of course, it's long distance, so keep the call short to keep expenses down."

Trump somewhat hesitantly picked up the golden phone. Sure enough, HaShem answered, and they had a nice chat.

When Trump was in Jerusalem, the chief Rabbi, presented him with a platinum phone. "Ah, I know what that is," said Trump. "A direct line from G-d! But I have to keep the call short because of the long distance charges."

The Rabbi looked at Trump bemused. "Oh, yes. This is a direct line to HaShem. But talk all you want. The call is local from here."