Thank you for your correction to my post.

I am not a professional in this area.
Just some experiences and input from professionals, which I may have gotten wrong in places.

Assisted living does not usually qualify for Medicaid, though I understand

that in the last several years there have been some exceptions to that policy.
What exactly the exceptions are I do not know.
Usually only nursing care qualifies for Medicaid.

I myself see nothing wrong in the State requiring financial assets be used to pay for assisted living, since otherwise one would be taking from other citizens to pay for one's own keep. If one stays in one's own home, they would be using their own assets.

Having said that, one can protect oneself by paying in advance for funeral and burial, and by designating certain possessions as the property of those you would wish to have them.

Mother-in-law would be wise to stay with family as long as possible, though in some cases that can become impossible with certain debilities and conditions. And, yes, professional counsel on these affairs is a good idea, though I would not trust some attorneys who specialize in getting around regulations, because they may put the elder person in a worse situation than they might have been in without the professional help.

My sister was in a nursing facility in NC the last years of her life, under Medicaid.
She was allowed to retain $30/month from her Social Security; the facility took the rest for payment. The $30 has now been increased to $40/month, I understand. That is to cover all personal expenses such as toiletries, hairdo and cuts, clothing, etc. My brother and I supplemented her funds with amounts sent to her daughter, who provided my sister with a phone and other items.

My mother was in assisted living the last nine years of her life. Her own assets were used to pay for her expenses. When she died, her assets were enough to pay for just six more months at the facility, but hse had the dignity of paying her own way and having her own room/privacy during her last years.

I personally find the Medicaid choice repugnant in that one is usually living the rest of one's life in a room with a stranger. So when lawyers speak of helping you qualify for a Medicaid facility in your old age, be aware of the down side of Medicaid living in a facility. Of course, for many, it is the only option, but given a choice, it seems to me to be better to remain with family or pay one's own way as long as possible.

Almost heaven.....

West Virginia.

I'll give it a whirl.

I have used ancestry.com's facebook attachment to make available genealogical info to younger, out-of-town relatives who wouldn't have other means of knowing about their forebears.

My son went last week to a job interview. The question that surprised

him was:
"Tell me something funny".
I don't know if he's heard back as yet, though at least one of his references was called.

Much humility will be required of Chaput, Dolan and many other bishops

who had so frequently in the recent past aligned themselves with RW politics.

I sincerely hope they are up to it.

Kahlil Gibran's "On Children"

Perhaps you're familiar with this; if not, study this; if so, reread in light of this discussion.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

.............

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.

.........................

Let this poem resonate in your being.
At some point you may wish to share and discuss its meaning with your parents, in a non-confrontational way.
You could share with them what Gibran's words mean to you, and eventually, what the words mean to your parents.

Peace.

Edit:spelling

Very moving. Thanks for sharing. nt

I'm not exactly sure how to use FB for genealogy research

Do you just put in the last name?

What do you do when the last name is very common? There a number of friends I cannot locate if their surname is a common one, let alone unknown relatives.

If I was nearby, I'd go there as well

But oceans are hundreds of miles from here.