Dear Crewleader - I am so sorry to know that your beloved brother

has left.
Surely he knew of your love for him and that must have been a comfort to him as your time spent with him was to you.

Take the time you need, but when you're ready, I'll forward to a good (funny) story - in honor of Bobby.

You may be correct re a TIAA-CREF retail mutual fund.

It was explained to me that my spouse was able to invest in the "annuity" (though not a typical - it can be traded or divested like a stock or bond) because of my past employment in the public (nonprofit) sector.

I am not familiar with other TIAA-CREF products.
I mentioned it originally because this couple is not familiar with investing and may not know of TIAA-CREF.

Remember, this is an inheritance.

For most people, that is rather like "bonus" money.
They were likely not counting on it to live.

I agree re take a mini-vacation, as well as paying off all debts.

One could spend a little on living well - or "luxury", depending on how you define it.
But, no more than 3-4% of the total inheritance per year.

Since one could safely assume that the total amount will reap at least 3-4% per year, one will still retain roughly the same amount as the original inheritance.

How to handle your wife's money depends on two things (at least)

1. Her own tolerance for risk;
2. Her age and expected date of retirement.

The money should probably be a mix of stock funds and bond funds. The mix will depend on your age and risk tolerance.
(I use Schwab primarily).
I also have a financial adviser who charges a set annual fee; this is good in that I know he's not recommending, and buying and selling to make commissions.

Being teachers, you can invest in TIAA-CREF, which is for those who work or worked in education or other governmental positions.

I personally keep a good amount at a local bank in CDs - not a great return, but I can get my hands on it by just walking into the bank, if I should ever really need it. The CDs I purchase are usually "specials" - for 7,8, or 9 months and at a slightly more attractive rate than the low CD rates currently offered. When they come up for renewal, they usually offer me a standard rate, but I've often gotten a better rate by knowing what else is out there and the bank will usually come through and match it.
I also keep ca $5000 cash in the home.

I check my Schwab accounts online daily; One is an inherited IRA, a smaller one is a Roth IRA, another a regular Schwab account.
Whatever contributions you are able to make to work-related retirement plans, make them to the max.
If you have a mortgage, pay it off.

I'm not interested in gold or any other commodities, nor in real estate, and thank goodness, my financial advisor has never recommended those.

The main thing is to be able to sleep at night and not have to worry about the security of your money. You know you can live on less, because you always have, so don't let the new money take over your life until you're ready to enjoy it.

Is it too early to send my regrets? nt

My son went through this last year, with me in attendance.

He had had two previous episodes, one a month before, the other about 18 yrs before.
We were in a city and state unfamiliar to both of us, though it was his new home state.

We went to the emergency room. where he was (eventually) referred to see a local surgeon.
It was my impression they wanted the inflammation of the gall bladder to recede before performing surgery.
After visit to the surgeon, he was scheduled for laparoscopic surgery, with the navel to be one of the sites.

When he had the surgery, one large stone was found- too large to get out through regular laparoscopy, so a larger incision had to be made to remove the stone.
He healed nicely and quickly enough, as he was in good physical shape.
He said he feels good now, but sometimes has a feeling of fullness he didn't have previously after eating.

Good luck.
All will be well.

A book for valentine's day will be nice.

Hopefully, she'll (or baby's papa) will read it over and over to your grandson.

At some point in the next few months she'll have to focus on the coming new baby.
You can turn your thoughts that way too, especially when the gender of the new one is known.

Sibling rivalry can be a strange thing, and (I think) can spring from erroneous perceptions one had as a child.
Don't we wish we could go back and read their minds at that time and make everything all right?

Not going to happen.
So we just have to accept the imperfect in our lives and realize that's probably the average situation for most of humanity.

Long commute would do me in - that's two hours

out of your life every day.
House would be secondary, but leaving established friends would be extremely rough.

Could you try to get past it by sending a valentine

to her son, your grandson?
No reason her son should suffer the loss of grandma's attentions because of mama's snit.

I know her words are hurtful; who can hurt us more than family members - those we care about most?
You've been through this many times before, so you know she'll come around -eventually - until the next time.

My two daughters, 13 months apart, are ying and yang - complete opposites personality-wise.
Always have been, since infancy.
They mostly get along in public, though "zingers" are periodically thrown out.
I mostly accept the situation and try to stay out of it.
I'm too old - and they are too- for me to try to be the intermediate - the peacemaker.

Sorry to know that you have this upset - again.