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The DUzy Awards

The DUzy Awards's Journal
The DUzy Awards's Journal
December 31, 2011

The DUzy Awards for December 30th, 2011



[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the NEW and IMPROVED™ DUZY AWARDS[/big][/big][/big]

Your weekly collection of by-play, witticisms, sarcasm, ingenuity, and WTF that show that DUers have been enjoying the spirits of ChristmaHanuKwannZika. The 190-proof kind.

Some of you are doubtless asking “hey, Krispos, how are the DUzies new and improved?” The answer is…

…pictures. I’ve make the effort to re-host relevant pictures, as needed!

Note to mods: Your powers are useless against me! Bwaa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Note to Admins: Hey, since my real account has a star, can’t this one have one too? Oh, and thanks for your timely activation of minimum number of posts to make an OP.



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Robb [/font]

[big]I heard this bill spells the End of the Republic.[/big]

I think it was this bill. Perhaps it was the last one.

The important thing to remember is that if it's a good bill, the President will capitulate -- unless he doesn't, at which point apparently it's either actually a bad bill, or something he's only pretending to be against. Or something.

The take home is simply however plentiful the Democrats' successes might seem, they are somehow losses. And we're going to lose all kinds of elections because of it, and that's a *good* thing.

I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but who are we to question the prevailing wisdom in such an assembly as we have on the televisions and internets?

GD, Dec. 23, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100265065


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by n2doc

[big] Most LAPD downtown surveillance cameras inoperative[/big]

By Andrew Blankstein and Richard Winton, Los Angeles Times
December 24, 2011
Most of the surveillance cameras installed in downtown Los Angeles as part of an effort to help police crack down on crime have not been working for two years, according to interviews and records reviewed by The Times.

The cameras were installed over the last few years in a highly publicized partnership between local business groups, which purchased them, and the Los Angeles Police Department, which was to monitor and maintain them.

But officials said the majority of the cameras don't work. Some broke down and were never fixed. In the case of six cameras purchased to watch over Little Tokyo, LAPD officials admit that they were never plugged in to the police station's monitoring bank.


Frustration about the broken cameras has deepened in recent days after a string of recent stabbings on a block in skid row. In one case, a 53-year-old man died after being stabbed and beaten by more than half a dozen attackers. No arrests have been made.

more

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-police-camera-20111224,0,6492627.story

...and the Republic will be saved by general incompetence, ineptitude and corruption!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] jberryhill [/font]

[big] 2. Newt suggested replacing them with children[/big]

The kids would be strapped to the poles and given cell phones to call police of they see anything.

GD, Dec. 23, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100265947


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Logical

[big] BREAKING: Trump leaves Republican Party after debate snub[/big]

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Businessman and reality TV personality Donald Trump has left the Republican Party, changing his voter registration to independent in his home state of New York, in a move that could facilitate a potential third-party presidential run in 2012, U.S. media reported on Friday.

The move was disclosed 10 days after the real estate mogul announced he would not moderate a planned debate among 2012 Republican presidential candidates in order to protect a possible White House run as an independent. All but two candidates declined to participate in Trump's planned December 27 forum in Iowa.

"Mr. Trump has said for almost a year that if he is not satisfied with who the Republican candidate is, he may elect to run as an independent," Trump spokesman Michael Cohen said, according to the Los Angeles Times. "This change in party affiliation certainly preserves his right to do so, after the finale of 'The Apprentice' in May."

<snip>

http://news.yahoo.com/trump-leaves-republican-party-debate-snub-024011548.html

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] MADem [/font]

[big]6. Did the squirrel on his head register as an independent, too? Nt[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Fire Walk With Me [/font]

[big]10. Voters will be told the squirrel on his head comes as a bonus when you vote for him.[/big]

However, it may well be an undocumented foreigner squirrel. A terra-iss ferner squirrel, even.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] TheOther95Percent [/font]

[big]12. LOL.[/big]

Dead squirrels can't vote.

GD, Dec. 23, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100266042


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Make7

[big][font color=#FF0000]This space intentionally left blank[/font][/big]

Should I be allowed to use a single space as a thread title? It doesn't seem to make a link in the thread listings or in 'My Posts'.

Will anyone be able to respond to this thread? (Besides me...)


ETA: I guess with the Thread Trash Can link now it should be easy enough to post a reply.

ETA2: Let It Snow

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] hootinholler [/font]

[big] 20. Because I been through the forum[/big]

In a thread with no name.
It felt good to be out of the flame...

Apologies to America.

H&M-D, Dec. 24, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124016004

[font color=#FF0000]This thread spawned its own discussion that’s worth looking at, too![/font]
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124016040


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In a locked original post by Bigmack

[big] 77% of Americans believe in Angels....[/big]

I'm not intending to start flame wars, but I am curious...

What mental process leads people to the belief that there are angels?

What evidence do believers see to support their belief?

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Journeyman [/font]

[/big]3. Which ones? Charlies? Victoria's? California? . . .[/big]

I suspect there's more than enough proof for all three sets.

GD, Dec. 24, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100268384


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] A-Schwarzenegger [/font]

[big]Newt Gingrich Threatens to Arrest State of Virginia[/big]

for disallowing him from both being on the ballot and being
a write-in candidate.

Breaking...

"Look. No state is above the law, and if it transpires that the law
that disallows my running in Virginia is against the law, well,
let's just say I'm looking for a courageous sheriff to arrest the
appropriate officials, the Governor if need be, the legislators who
wrote this ridiculous law, and anybody else involved, and do what
is required to restore the Constitution. Look, it's obvious that a number
of very frightened people don't want me to be President, and this is
the latest in a long series of efforts along those lines from certain
terrified, cringing factions. Look, for some reason, a, if I may say, a
man of tested courage and extraordinary talents and destiny, if I may,
poses a threat to a lot of people, but I will prevail, in one way or another.
No, I'm not going to arrest the entire state, but I'll arrest, or have
arrested, as many as I need to to get my point across and uphold
the law and the freedom that our Founding Fathers and God
determined that I should. There is plenty of room in the proud jails of
Virginia to hold all the responsible parties. Have a wonderful day."

GD, Dec. 24, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100268376


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by hootinholler

[big] Am I the only one who finds a self-delete after an answer annoying?[/big]

Rather than editing the title a question and saying answered. Or asking a host to lock it?

I don't mind the ones where there's no answers or maybe a couple, but when there's been a discussion, we lose a lot of context by the delete, and people with the same question are not helped by it.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] pintobean [/font]This message was self-deleted by its author.

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] William769 [/font]This message was self-deleted by its author.

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Bunny [/font]This message was self-deleted by its author.

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] cbayer [/font]This message was self-deleted by its author.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Bobbie Jo [/font]This message was self-deleted by its author.

H&M-D, Dec. 24, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124016144


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by CaliforniaPeggy

[big] What would you do with a basket like this?[/big]

It's about 11 inches on each side. I really like it but...what to put in it? I was thinking bath towels for guests and like that.

What would you put in it?

Thanks!

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of a wicker basket[/font]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Kali [/font]

[big]48. oh I would probably put fruit in it[/big]

then whatever was on the bottom would rot and leak through to the shelf or table then the basket would get moldy and I would stick it out on the porch on the washing machine planning to give it a scrub with bleach water. Someone would come along wanting to wash some clothes and would stick it on a shelf out of view and we would all forget about it for months or years then one day I would notice it and clean it off finally and the cycle would start over. Unless the cat jumped up on the shelf where it was sitting and knocked it off on the floor under an avalanche of other junk in which case it would probably get crushed and broken and POSSIBLY, MAYBE, eventually hauled off and burned.

The bathroom goodies for company is a good idea. My mom did things like that. I try, but the offspring steal it all.

The Lounge, Dec. 27, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101817910


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by WillParkinson

[big] Happy Birthday Rep! Here's your gift - A very unique hummingbird[/big]



____________________________________

[font color=#800080] ret5hd [/font]

[big]1. ahhh...the rare humminghorhound...[/big]

the hardest thing is following it with a pooper-scooper.

The Lounge, Dec. 27, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101818153


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Gidney N Cloyd

[big] Could someone PM me the secret code to get service guys to return phone calls?[/big]

I'm starting to think I have to join the Stonecutters to get someone to come out and check my furnace.

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of the Stonecutters from an episode of “The Simpsons”[/font]

____________________________________

HopeHoops

[big]2. Say "Operator", or just ignore Barbie the automated bimbo.[/big]

That usually gets you through to a human. If they say they can't help you, ask for someone who can. If they say there's nobody available, say "GIVE ME A DAMN MANAGER OR I'LL RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT THROUGH THIS TELEPHONE!!!" That should at least get a cop to show up and he/she might know something about a furnace. Yes, things have gotten that bad.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Lionel Mandrake [/font]

[big] 3. I just spoke with Barbie, and here is what she said ...[/big]

Tell HopeHoops that next time he calls, I will take twice as long as usual before I even mention the buttons he can press for further options. I will go into excruciating detail about our wonderful website. I will describe all of its features, speaking very slowly and clearly, as if he were not very bright. I will repeat everything twice. If he is still on the phone when I finish doing that, I will say to press button number whatever in order to access the submenu he is least likely to choose. Then I will go on to the submenu he is next least likely to choose, and so on. So there!

The Lounge, Dec. 27, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101818133


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by the late okayder

[big] Why am I being persecuted?[/big]

Why is my account being punished simply after 30 minutes of register? I try to join the forum, I stopped trolling. You leftists keep banning me.

This is a post I wrote on Ron Paul (paraphrased):

I don't agree with this video. We can't judge Paul if there aren't facts to judge him by.

Ten minutes later I was banned because the post in question was deemed "hateful". What is hateful about the above? Can't you liberals take the tiniest inch of reality up your ass?

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] EarlG [/font]

[big]6. Fuck Ron Paul[/big]

Locking.

LBN, Dec. 28, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101411204


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by cliffordu

[big] Man Eats Cocaine From Brother's Butt, Dies.....(real headline, real story...)[/big]

A South Carolina man's brother died after police said he was forced to eat cocaine hidden in his brother's backside.
Both brothers were taken into custody on allegations they had drugs in their car.

Read more: http://www.wyff4.com/news/30037563/detail.html#ixzz1hrWkb9Q0

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] ohiosmith [/font]

[big] 1. Crack kills![/big]

The Lounge, Dec. 28, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101819105


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by n2doc

[big] Houston-area woman organizes breastfeeding flash mob at Target stores[/big]

Breastfeeding moms are planning more than 100 “nurse-ins” across the country today, rallying in support of a Houston-area woman who says she was harassed last month while nursing her infant son at a Webster Target store.

The nursing flash mobs are planned in 35 states after women heard about the case of Michelle Hickman, who says employees made her feel uncomfortable when she fed her son at the store while Christmas shopping last month, KHOU-TV reports

Hickman’s protest plans have generated national media coverage and the Facebook nurse-in page had more than 6,000 members as of Wednesday morning.
This isn’t the first time mom’s have been irked by Target’s attitude toward breastfeeding, BabyCenter blogger Betsy Shaw points out. In 2006, a woman was shooed from the fitting rooms for nursing her baby. Target made a public statement in response to that incident.

http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2011/12/28/houston-area-woman-organizes-breastfeeding-flash-mob-at-target-stores/?tsp=1

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] MountainLaurel [/font]

[big]34. "Flash" mob?![/big]

Apparently they didn't think that one out.

GD, Dec. 28, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100279514


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Burgman [/font]

[big] BREAKING! Republican population down 96% after Obama states "Shooting oneself in the head is bad."[/big]

Hey, the election is coming and it does seem that they will disagree with whatever the President says.

GD, Dec, 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100283465


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Amerigo Vespucci

[big] More DELICIOUS suffering at RimJobCentral.com as they throw Ann Coulter under the bus[/big]

The freeper thread: Ann Coulter Has Lost Faith

The delightful, pain-filled responses:

To: jenk

Coulter only care about style over substance

4 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 05:32:19 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by 4rcane

***

To: 4rcane

Coulter is also an elitists imho. She is embarrased by Bush’s “gaffes” and is hoping for a candidate that is well spoken

7 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 05:33:28 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by 4rcane

***

To: jenk

“Ann Coulter Has Lost Faith”

But ann coulter has gained a fortune from rooking conservatives. Now she wants the gold embossed invitations and a grand porfolio.
Ann Rice wrote porn to earn enough money to do what she really wanted to do. coulter is no different than Ann Rice, except that Ann Rice was honest.

8 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 05:37:35 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by MestaMachine (obama kills)

***

To: Vendome

Regrettably, she has become our very own Maureen Dowd.

11 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 05:39:42 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by AdaGray

***

To: jenk

Ann Coulter has become a Republican first and conservative second, and surrendered principle over pragmatism. She would support Obama if he was on the GOP ticket.

14 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 05:41:06 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by broken_arrow1 (I regret that I have but one life to give for my country - Nathan Hale "Patriot"

***

To: broken_arrow1

I remember the time when any post about Ann Coulter would have to be accompanied by the obligatory pictures. Now... NO THANKS!

15 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 05:50:45 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by Russ (Repeal the 17th amendment)

***

To: jenk

Never cared for her. AC was good at the occasional jab; good not great. The rest was her image and an ability to parlay it into a cult of personality in her limited conservative market.

(Conservatives swear they are above personality cult attachments. Their idols are deserving, doncha know.)

Men in particular will always find much to admire in the mind of a tall slim woman in a little black dress. No matter how she stinks of tobacco and dates Bill Maher. And bet your bottom dollar, they’d love her still, Mittens-smitten and all the other warts, if she were not menopausal.


16 posted on Thu Dec 29 2011 06:04:57 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by Lady Lucky


____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Brickbat [/font]

[big]3. Posts like that are sprinkles on the internet Christmas cookie.[/big]

Bittersweet freeper tears -- so bitter, yet so, so sweet.

GD, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100285118

[font color=#FF0000]Note: I create the DUzies in Word ’97 and the grammar correction was unhappy with the Freeper quotes[/font]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Botany

[big] Michele Bachmann, "he was offered a large sum of money to go to work for the Paul"[/big]

"Kent Sorenson personally told me he was offered a large sum of money to go to work for the Paul campaign. Kent campaigned with us earlier this afternoon and went immediately afterward to a Ron Paul event and announced he is changing teams," Bachmann said. "Kent said to me yesterday that 'Everyone sells out in Iowa. Why shouldn't I?' Then, he told me he would stay with our campaign. The Ron Paul campaign has to answer for its actions."

However, Sorenson reportedly told NBC News that the accusations were absurd

http://www.iowastatedaily.com/caucus2012/article_35ff0584-31d2-11e1-a642-0019bb2963f4.html

BTW Obama is also a socialist too along w/ the President is not stopping a global caliphate.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] comipinko [/font]

[big] 1. $4.00 and a can of soda is hardly "a large sum of money".[/big]

GD, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100285238


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Eliminator

[big] Why is DU2 still up?[/big]

Like, seriously.

Shut that down already. This right here is SOOOOOOOOOOO much better.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]Skinner[/font]

[big] 1. DU2 is still up????!!!![/big]



H&M-D, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018199


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by quinnox [/font]


[big] Biden has proven to be a poor choice for VP[/big]

Ever since Joe Biden was announced as the pick for the VP, I thought of it as Obama's first mistake. Now many mistakes have followed that bad choice on the part of President Barack Obama, but at least this one can be corrected. There has been some talk of Biden being dumped as the VP and a new person chosen in his place. Why not?

Joe Biden has proven to be a rather ineffective and weak presence as the vice president. We went from Al Gore showing that a VP can play an important part in a partnership with the president and have a good deal of power, to Biden going back to the traditional weak and hidden VP of the past.

I bet if you asked 10 random Americans in the street, many of them wouldn't even know who Joe Biden is, or could even name him as the current VP.

This guy brings nothing to the table as vice president, and was the first mistake in a long chain of them by Mr. Obama. Might as well change that mistake and bring a little excitement to the Dem party by picking someone else. Hillary is the name usually floated but I think there are many other candidates as well. Hell, anyone but Biden as VP would probably help Obama more than what Biden would do in the next election.

Let's be honest, McCain was an exceptionally bad candidate for the GOP last time and was basically a "gimme" election win for Obama, so a Biden didn't really hurt as the pick that time however bad it was. The upcoming election will be far tougher, with the country not very happy or willing to give Obama another chance. At least a new VP would generate some talk and spice and enthusiasm for the Democrats which could help a struggling uphill battle not to lose the presidency.

GD, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100285183

[font color=#FF0000]Why is this here? See below![/font]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080]FSogol[/font]

[big] Bo has proven to be a bad choice for Presidental Dog[/big]

Ever since Bo was announced as the pick for first dog, I thought of it as Obama's first mistake. Now many mistakes have followed that bad choice on the part of President Barack Obama, but at least this one can be corrected. There has been some talk of Bo being dumped as the first dog and a new puppy chosen in his place. Why not?

Bo has proven to be a rather ineffective and weak presence as the vice president. We went from FDR's dog, Fala showing that a first dog can play an important part in a partnership with the president and have a good deal of power, to Bo going back to the traditional weak and hidden presidential dog of the past.

I bet if you asked 10 random Americans in the street, many of them wouldn't even know who Bo is, or could even name him as the current first dog. And don't get me started about him sleeping in front of the fireplace on that Christmas Card.

This dog brings nothing to the table as ....

(Note to self: Find out the name of Hilary's dog before posting)




____________________________________

[font color=#800080] lapislzi [/font]

[big] 3. Lacks the gravitas of a Checkers, imo.[/big]

Republicans blocking Obama's choice for First Cat?

GD, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100285367


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ProfessorGAC

[big]Just A Question About An Oddity[/big]

I served on a jury, and the DU Mail detailing how it turned out included this:

"Juror #420 smoked too much weed.

P.S. Communism is the only way. Vote Socialist in 2012. Down with status quObama."

Is the system programmed to clown around? Just seemed odd.

If the programming in meant to do this, ok. But, it sure seemed like quite the editorial message for an information mail.

____________________________________

A-Schwarzenegger

[big]23. What did Juror#4 mean by "Juror#420"?[/big]

I'm thinking he meant POSTER rather than Juror, and
probably mistyped the number. #120 ?

____________________________________

Ptah

[big]25. 420 is a reference to marijuana[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] A-Schwarzenegger [/font]

[big]27. Ohhhhhhh![/big]

Old Hippie here. We called it grass.
Course it was legal back in 1920.

____________________________________

Spazito

[big]24. Who smoked too much weed? Juror #4, the poster whose post was alerted or...[/big]

Juror #420 or the poster who posted post #20?

Edited to add: Ahhhh 420 IS weed, got it now.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Ruby the Liberal [/font]

[big]31. If everyone on this thread would spark a little 420[/big]

then the whole thing would probably have made sense from the OP alone.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] A-Schwarzenegger [/font]

[big]33. I aint smoked in 25 years but[/big]

this thread gimme the munchies...

H&M-D, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018105


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Kadie

[big] Caption this pic of Romney[/big]



MASON CITY, IA - DECEMBER 29: Former Massachusetts Governor and Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney stands in a chair as campaign staff member Garrett Jackson holds it steady during a campaign event at Music Man Square December 29, 2011 in Mason City, Iowa. Recent state-wide polls put Romney and fellow candidate Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) close going into next week's first-in-the-country Iowa Caucuses, a litmus test for the GOP hopefuls.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] RZM [/font]

[big] 4. 'I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you . . . ' n/t[/big]

Video & Multimedia, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10173685


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Star Member DFab420

[big] Anyone else basically stopped reading posts here that aren't in the LBN?[/big]

I mean honestly some of the myopic, low-IQ, flame-baiting, ridiculousness, over reacting and crass mischaracterization of policies, the administration and politics in general has gotten completely out of hand

Just today I've read posts about how HRC would've been a more successful president, how Joe Biden hasn't done anything for the country as VP, how Obama hasn't accomplished anything progressive and therefore should not be voted for in the Iowa Caucuses

I understand wanting to discuss certain policies and their implication but I realize now that noone here is concerned with how politics actually works they simply want to spit their own opinions out as fact.

What the hell happend to this board? When did we devolve into the rapid mouth foaming ridiculousness that seems to define GD now...

____________________________________

Skinner

[big]10. Use the ignore function.[/big]

I have four people on my ignore list. Now DU is exactly how I like it.

You have the power to make DU into the site you want. You just have to choose to do it.

____________________________________

A-Schwarzenegger

[big]12. Can you see this?[/big]

If so, please PM the four names. I won't tell.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Skinner [/font]

[big]13. I can't see this.[/big]



H&M-D, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018127


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In a SELF-DELETED original post by SoDesuKa
[font color=#FF0000]This is why I ask you send me both the link and the nominated posts… in case the juries or the member get regrets!!![/font]

[big]Posted on the Wrong Website[/big]

Silly me. There I was, thinking I was posting on Democratic Underground and it turned out I had blundered by accident into AOL. You guys really ought to FIX this

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Skinner [/font]

[big]2. Are you going to self-delete all your posts in this thread too?[/big]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/124017928

http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018440

It would be helpful to know up front, so we don't waste our time talking to you.

H&M-D, Dec. 30, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018465

[font color=#FF0000]And yes, those two other OPs are self-deleted as well [/font]

[font color=#FF0000]That makes 2 for Skinner and 1 for EarlG. Elad, you’re falling behind here! Get cracking! Or has DU3 just totally sucked your soul dry? [/font]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by csziggy

[big]Smokin' hot island rises up from depths of the Red Sea[/big]

By Brett Israel
OurAmazingPlanet
updated 12/28/2011 3:45:21 PM ET

The Red Sea has a new inhabitant: a smoking island.

The island was created by a wild eruption that occurred in the Red Sea earlier this month. It is made of loose volcanic debris from the eruption, so it may not stick around long.

According to news reports, fishermen witnessed lava fountains reaching up to 90 feet (30 meters) tall on Dec. 19, which is probably the day the eruption began, said Erik Klemetti, a volcanologist at Denison University in Granville, Ohio.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45807839/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/smokin-hot-island-rises-depths-red-sea/#

The best comment for this article:
"Dibs, My island. Called Dibs." Moheeheeko

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Curmudgeoness [/font]

[big]1. A smoking island....good.[/big]

I am sick of all these smoking bans everywhere else.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] csziggy [/font]
[big]3. And here I was thinking they were talking about how sexy it was[/big]

Though somehow the appeal was just not visible to me.

Weird News, Dec. 29, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1103184


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] icymist [/font]

[big] Whiz-bang! Man accidentally shoots self while peeing[/big]

A convicted felon accidentally shot himself in the leg Christmas Eve, police said.

New Haven officers arrived at 166 Thompson Street shortly after 10 p.m. Saturday to a report of a person shot during a robbery attempt. They found Darrel Johnson, 51 suffering from a gunshot wound to the leg.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45791726/ns/us_news-weird_news/

Weird News, Dec. 27, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1103167

[font color=#FF0000]Once again, just because it looks cool when The Rock does it, doesn’t mean sticking a gun in your waistband is a good idea![/font]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by LoZoccolo

[big] What day do you think would be good for a "DU fairness day"? (You Could Be Next Part 6)[/big]

As you might remember, in "Maybe we could propose a "fairness day". (You Could Be Next Part 2)", I proposed a day where people start being fair on the juries, and not be passive-aggressive and pass grudgeful judgements:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/12409854

I'm thinking of declaring an actual date for fairness day, but I'd like some input from the DU community about this.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Ruby the Liberal [/font]

[big]2. A moratorium on passive aggressive behavior?[/big]

My irony meter just stood up, walked across the room and in a selfless move with the grace of a kamikazee, threw its self out the window to be crushed on the sidewalk below.

H&M-D, Dec. 30, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018576



Much thanks to: wryter2000, pinboy3niner, Hatchling, eridani, PeaceNikki, Fire Walk With Me, CaliforniaPeggy, BlancheSplanchnik, Ohio Joe, Arugula Latte, rocktivity, dixiegrrrrl, Make7, LiberalAndProud, ellisonz, William769 and Little Star!

Have a Happy New Year, everybody!!!

And remember, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time, do NOT play frisbee golf, in the nude, with hubcaps, on the neighbor’s lawn, at 2am.

I’m looking at YOU, Minnesota!

Submitted regardless of your approval,

-Krispos42


ETA: I don't want to nominate myself for a DUzy, but, this is pretty funny!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/100264864#post39
December 23, 2011

The DUzy Awards for December 23rd, 2011



[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the NEW and IMPROVED™ DUZY AWARDS[/big][/big][/big]

Your weekly collection of snappy comebacks, sassy answers, imponderable OPs, and pancreas-punching puns that show that posting while intoxicated is not only allowed on DU, it’s encouraged.

Some of you are doubtless asking “hey, Krispos, how are the DUzies new and improved?” The answer is…

…the New and Improved™ color of the excerpt boxes!

I even ‘shopped in a sprig of holly to show support for the War on Christmas. Damn, I’m good.

Note to mods: None of the Admins have authorized the posting of the DUzies in GD, and I don’t give a crap because there aren’t any more mods. So there! :Þ

Note to Admins: this would be a bit more legible if the “big” command worked! Hint-hint-hint


How this works: I post an original post and all the replies to it that have been nominated for the award. The OP may or may not qualify, and I may include non-nominated posts that are needed for context. If the poster’s name is in [font color=#800080]purple[/font] then you’ve won an award. If in black, then you’re not trying hard enough.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ellisonz

[big]Proposal to Increase Group Participation[/big]

Allow topic groups to post a quarterly thread promoting their group to the DU community in either General Discussion or the Lounge. I think this would help to increase involvement and encourage people to subscribe. Kinda like a group fair. What do others think of this proposal?



____________________________________

The Straight Story
[big]15. I can dig it - how about trying it here and now?[/big]

Give me a group name and why I should post/read it and I will jump in

____________________________________

ellisonz
[big]17. Sure.[/big]

The DU Democracy for America group is a place where DFA members and supporters can discuss and share their experiences. We seek to promote progressive values and fiscal responsibility, continuing the work to revitalize the Democratic Party begun by Howard Dean. Catch the latest news from DFA's 2012 efforts to create a grassroots movement to take our country back. Reminisce, reinvigorate, and help spread the message of a grassroots campaign to take the country back.

If you feel like I do, please subscribe to the DU Democracy for America Group: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1105

"You have the power to take our country back." - Howard Dean



eh, eh, eh?

P.S. I just noticed that Skinner had a typo in responsibility

____________________________________

The Straight Story
[big]18. Ok I subscribed can we post sex threads there?[/big]



____________________________________

ellisonz
[big]19. Enjoy.[/big]

I mean if advertising didn't work, nobody would do it.

Sex threads? No, take that shit to Creative Speculation!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] The Straight Story [/font]
[big]21. Creative speculation = my sex life already[/big]



H&M-D, Dec. 16, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124010396


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Vinnie From Indy [/font]

[big]Alabama officials vow to arrest Santa Claus should he venture into their state this year[/big]

Alabama House Speaker Mike Hubbard angrily demanded that the Alabama state police prepare to capture and deport Santa Claus by whatever means necessary.

Cheers!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] rocktivity [/font]

[big]3. "No passport? No driver's license? No work visa? No proof you're in the US legally?"[/big]

"Then 'Merry Christmas' THIS, wetback!"

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of the UC-Davis cop pepper-spraying Santa[/font]

GD, Dec. 16, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100228752



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] PeaceNikki [/font]

[big]Dear admins: can you change the sender of alert PMs[/big]

to Grovelbot instead of "Automated Message"? Grov is hurting these days since you've eliminated his position.

Come on. Be a job creator. For America.



H&M-D, Dec. 16, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124010882


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by XemaSab

[big] Why are so many people without avatar images?[/big]

I want my old avatar back, but I selected an interim avatar to use so that people could see something other than a shadowy gray figure next to my name.

DU is like a land of ghosts. It's SPOOOOOOKY.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] OffWithTheirHeads [/font]
[big]2. I'm just waiting for them to ramp it up[/big]

Somehow, a pic of Elvis just doesn't express my screen name as well as a guillotine.

H&M-D, Dec. 15, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124010122


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Rowdyboy

[big]You'd think the lack of moderators would have led to chaos....sex threads galore....a cross between[/big]

Mad Max and Lord of the Flies. Given the chance to post with absolutely no restriction on content, there hasn't been a single post here on DU2 that was even vaguely inappropriate, at least not that I've seen. It says a lot about the caliber of people still here.

Instead I see a collection of sweet people unwilling to give up a part of their lives that was very important for different reasons. For me it was the fact of living in a rural southern community surrounded by straight right-wingers. DU was my first connection to both the larger Democratic community and the larger gay community. It was everything. If it wasn't incredibly important to me I wouldn't still be lurking. I've always found it hard to end things (refused to go through college graduation ceremony in 1976 and still dream about it) but this is in some ways harder. Its been unbelievably important to me and letting go is way tougher than I expected.

Unlike many of you guys, I'm okay with DU3. Its not the same but time goes on, shit happens-its tolerable and many people I really like are there. Hope I'll see you there eventually. Life is long-don't rule anything out too hastily.

If you can't come, for whatever reason, know that you are loved and missed by many, many people who, for the most part, share your values, hopes and dreams. In the end we are all in this together

Vaya con dios my friends....



____________________________________

[font color=#800080]Rhiannon12866[/font]

[big] 8. What makes you think there are no moderators here? [/big]

Most of us are still around, looking for threads that need locking and hanging out in the hot tub...

[font color=#FF0000]B&W pic of four women in 1930’s-ish full-body swimsuits[/font]



GD, Dec. 13, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=2464229&mesg_id=2464229


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by LynneSin

[big]DU3 Reintroduce yourself thread[/big]

New forum so let's so a new thread where you can introduce yourself to the rest of the DU community.

My name is LynneSin, my nickname is based on my RL nickname since my RL name is Lynne and my last name starts with SIN and about 82 more letters after that. The quote my friend would use about me is "Her name is Lynne and it rhymes with Sin".

[font color=#FF0000]Massive snip[/font]

I've been a member of DU since April 2001 and I always like to meet new DUers.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] WCGreen [/font]
[big]97. My name is WCGreen and I am DUaholic....[/big]

The W stands Wilberforce, an old family name dating back to the early 1950's.

The C stands for Constantine because my mother, Theodora, the female Chipmunk, still believes to this day that I will be the second first emperor of the Eastern Division of the Holy Roman empire.

The Green stands for Zailinsski because my dad was Irish.

It is said that my people wandered all over Europe looking for someone to promise us something.

That guy on the beer commercials just called and said I am the second most interesting guy in the world although on a good day, I can out interest him.

Several of my former lovers joined the nunnery after we broke up because they did not think anyone but Jesus could move them like I did. One even wrote me to tell me she prays that I will someday get the newest addition of sex for dummies, what ever that means.

I have three hundred cats but I prefer dogs.

I was once this close to the president but then the Secret Service took me down.

My favorite movie is movie is 8 1/2 because it was my shoe size the first time I reach an orgasm.

My favorite actor is Basil Rathborn but not when he was over doing it in those dreadful Sherlock Holmes movies...

I masticated at thirty seven colleges before finding the one that had the best cafeteria. It was the consistency of their Mash Potatoes that made me stay.

I wrote I want to Hold Your Hand for John, he was stuck on I want to hold your left breast. I told him it wouldn't play until the 70's after I said, here, let me give you a hand with that...

I once ran for office, but I couldn’t quite catch it.

When I moved back to the town where I was born, I got my old phone number back.

Three times in my life I have fallen in a creek. I was once stuck in the mud.

My lifelong dream is to have a threesome just so I can break the rules at the country club. They insist on foursomes.

The teachers at my high school gave me a standing ovation at my graduation.

I joined Kiwanas and my old Junior High school principal was there. I punched him in the nose just because I was now bigger than he was.

I am an accountant for the mob although don’t say anything to anyone.

I once dated a republican, but I refused to call my private parts Dick Nixon.

I have never passed gas.

I once ran naked through the streets of Columbus to protest that my lover, the mayor, was going to raise taxes. It was a flaccid affair.

Well, That's about it...

The Lounge, Dec. 12, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10184983


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE] Original post by [font color=#800080] SaintPete [/font]

[big]For all you people who seek attention with nothing good to say about the freedom to DISSENT...[/big]

Why do you waste your time? Don't you have better things to do like get out and agree with the Republican base how ineffective dissenting opinion has been? If you're in the forum to bring down diversity of thought in this party.....I think you should find elsewhere to go.

If your not happy with some opinions because they do not support what you expected...go ruin some other person's day.

There were a lot of really good D.U. members who brought diversity here at one time no matter how forcefully some others expect us to walk and think in uniformity. Any time when dissent is equated to betrayal are bad times for all Democrats.

So just for today.............I will remember some of those inspiring posts that encourage diverseness of opinion, and lift myself (and hopefully others) from the all to often depressing diversity-bashing posts.

So wherever you may be today nameless DUers who challenged uniformity.........I for one truly miss your battle to keep the foundational Democratic Party principle of progressive heterogeneity alive here on D.U.

____________________________________

[font color=#FF0000]Ironically, there’s a broad spectrum of dissent in this thread[/font]

GD, Dec. 17, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100234632


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by mr blur

[big]Disgusting Book of the Month[/big]



YEP, That's "Marvellous" measles.

Because nothing says "Vaccinations are Evil" like dying from measles.

(via reasonablehank, who has links to info about this revolting woman at:
http://reasonablehank.com/2011/12/13/stephanie-messenger-childhood-infectious-disease-advocate/)

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]MilesColtrane [/font]

[big]9. Holy shit.[/big]

What's next, "Daphne's Divine Diptheria"?

That's beyond irresponsible.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]uriel1972 [/font]

[big]10. Wendy's wonderful Whooping cough? nt[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]LeftishBrit[/font]

[big]12. Belinda's Beautiful Bubonic Plague?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]Humanist_Activist [/font]

[big]13. "Playing with Polio"[/big]

"Itching for Herpes"

"Pining for Syphilis"

OK, that last one I was stretching on, but hey, the last two books would be perfect for teenagers!
:sarcasm

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]lazarus [/font]

[big]14. Catherine's Clever Cholera[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]15. Penelope's Playful Polio.[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]lazarus [/font]

[big]16. Inez's Interesting Influenza[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]17. Theresa's Terrific Tetanus[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]18. Rachel's Royal Rubella[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]19. Hannah's Heavenly Hepatitis[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]20. Melissa's Magnificent Meningitis[/big]

Damn, I'm having fun!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]lazarus [/font]

[big]21. Sophie's Superior Smallpox[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]22. Rebecca's Rosy Rotavirus[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]lazarus [/font]
[big]23. Teresa's Terrific Typhus[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]24. Marissa's Mellifluous Mumps[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]lazarus [/font]

[big]25. Christine's Comforting Cancer[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]lazarus [/font]

[big]26. Claire's Congratulatory Chickenpox[/big]

Couldn't get anything that really works with chickenpox.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]laconicsax [/font]

[big]27. You could have gone with Valerie's Valued Varicella[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]LeftishBrit[/font]

[big]31. Charlotte's Charming Chickenpox?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]LeftishBrit[/font]

[big]32. Margaret's Miraculous Malaria?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]LeftishBrit[/font]

[big]33. Louisa's Lovely Leprosy?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]LeftishBrit[/font]

[big]34. Chloe's Cleansing Chlamydia?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]LeftishBrit[/font]

[big]35. Mediaeval illuminated manuscript: Beatrice's Blessed Black Death[/big]

Skepticism, Science & Pseudoscience, Dec. 14, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1231102


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by LiberalFighter

[big]ABC did the stupidest thing possible on the show.[/big]

They announced that Kim Jong II died. On The Santa Clause 3 movie. A movie geared towards children.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080]REP [/font]

[big]5. Kids love Kim Jong Il![/big]

GD, Dec. 18, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100239464


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] bleever [/font]

[big]Kim Jong No Longer Just Il.[/big]

Pyongyang: Dear Supreme Leader Kim Jong Il has now been anointed by the Gods of Heaven as Kim Jong Dead, according to North Korean official state media.

"While he was Il for a long time, he has now ascended to an even more exalted position by virtue of his...uh...many virtues," reported the national government.

"As the infallible father to the people of North Korea, Kim Jong Il was beyond compare. Now, as Kim Jong Dead, his wisdom and miraculous powers to benefit his faithful nation will only increase, as he sends psychic messages to our glorious Olympic competitors, follows American starlets from the great beyond, and imbibes cognac from snifters made of the stars themselves."

Reaction from the over one million people who died of starvation under his cartoonishly self-centered stranglehold on the nation was somewhat more reserved.

GD, Dec. 18, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100239365


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by hootinholler

[big] Everyone who thinks GD needs a big fat chill pill check in![/big]

I'm going to try to say this in a respectful way, but I expect I will fall short, so please forgive me in advance. We are all human. For every part I had in this dust up, I sincerely apologize.

Obama supporters, please recognize that many people who criticize Obama's policies have a huge emotional investment that was made in the last election and the vast majority of criticism is being made out of love, although it hasn't necessarily been made in a loving manner.

Obama critics, please recognize that supporters have a huge emotional investment in the President that was made in the last election and it is painful to hear criticism of anything you hold dear that is made in a blunt manner. When they defend the president the defense is made out of love, although it hasn't necessarily been made in a loving manner.

Please can we take a collective deep breath and step back for a minute?

Ok, maybe not. Can we at least show some respect for each other as humans?

Otherwise, I guess Skinner will have to pass these out:

[font color=#FF0000]Image of Fukidol, 1,000mg[/font]

After all, the last line of the TOS page reads:
Remember: DU is supposed to be fun — don't make it suck.


____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Eferrari [/font]

2. Apparently, there is just way too much love around here.





GD, Dec. 19, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100240343


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Odin2005

[big] Skinner, when is the Buddhism group supposed to be up?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] laconicsax [/font]

1. Isn't suffering caused by wanting?

H&M-D, Dec. 18, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124012164



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Fire Walk With Me

[big]Kim Jong Il looking at things. A website that delivers on its premise.[/big]

http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

I have to admit...I completely stole "a website that delivers on its premise" from another web site post.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Octafish [/font]

[big]6. He looked so happy looking at things.[/big]

It's sad, really.

GD, Dec. 18, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100239603


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by XemaSab

[big] When can we expect polls?[/big]



____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Morning Dew [/font]

[big]1. December 23rd - mine's already up.[/big]

View profile
Oh, polls, not poles.

Happy Festivus!

H&M-D, Dec. 19, 2011



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by boston bean

[big] Rep. Pelosi on Speaker Boehner: ‘He is not Lucy and we are not Charlie Brown’[/big]

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) and other House Democratic leaders on Tuesday denied that they share any blame for the stalemate over extending a payroll-tax cut and jobless benefits that has ensued in Congress.

Pelosi said Democrats will not appoint any conferees to a House-Senate conference on a yearlong payroll-tax-cut extension because the GOP effort to convene such a conference is just a trick. “We are not falling for that stunt again,” she said.

http://thehill.com/homenews/house/200631-pelosi-on-boehner-he-is-not-lucy-and-we-are-not-charlie-brown

Good for Nancy!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] rocktivity [/font]

2. When Boehner and Pelosi first met



[font color=#FF0000]I don’t normally link to pics, but this is hilarious and not too big![/font]

GD, Dec. 20, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100249914


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by eppur_se_muova

[big]Metal {oxide, actually} undergoes novel transition under extreme pressure (BBC)[/big]

Under extreme pressures and temperatures, one of the main materials of the Earth's interior has exhibited a never-before-seen transition.

Iron oxide was subjected to conditions similar to those at the depth where the Earth's innermost two layers meet.

At 1,650C and 690,000 times sea-level pressure, the metal changed the degree to which it conducted electricity.

But, as the team outlined in Physical Review Letters, the metal's structure was surprisingly unchanged.

The finding could have implications for our as-yet incomplete understanding of how the Earth's interior gives rise to the planet's magnetic field.
***
more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-16265510

____________________________________

Gregorian
1. That sounds like a basic discovery.

20 million psi. I'm curious how they even achieve that pressure. Some sneaky technique.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Ian David[/font]

2. They piled Republican bullshit on top of it. n/t

Science, Dec. 20, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1228514


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In a locked original post by OnlinePoker

[big] France may order 30,000 women to remove implants[/big]

Up to 30,000 French women and perhaps tens of thousands more around the world may need to have defective breast implants removed after several suspicious cancer cases, officials said on Tuesday.

A decision on whether to order the removal of the implants, produced by the Poly Implant Prothese (PIP) company, will be made by the end of the week, after a report from the National Cancer Institute on December 23.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/france-order-30-000-women-remove-implants-002446737.html

If they're so concerned about stopping cancer, maybe they should order the 15 million smokers in the country to stop smoking and ban the sale of cigarettes.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] LiberalEsto [/font]

[big]2. They'll pay for the operations with a...[/big]

Flat Tax.

LBN, Dec. 21, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10147373


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Phentex

[big]Skanner, Olad, and EarlF...[/big]

Since DU3 is all about new terms and names for things, you three will no longer be known as Admins. Instead you shall be called DOERs (Duty Official Enforcement Regulators) and known in the Host hot tub as Duty-Heads. After responding to 1,000 posts in the Meta forum, you will have a DOER seal displayed by your names… but that may not be available until DU4.

Carry on, former Admins!


* This post meets forum Statement of Purpose under the DUCS criteria.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] hootinholler [/font]
[big]1. Especially Elad[/big]

You shall now be know as Olad.

Oh Lad ye make us glad
while we goad, ye write the code

H&M-D, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124014911


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] nolabear [/font]

[big]An Important Holiday Message from nolabear:[/big]

I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving during the Holiday season. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from social gatherings over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.

The Lounge, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101814854


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] FogerRox [/font]

[big] Skinner is missing and a 4 yr old boy was found. It appears all GD was moved to December 1969[/big]

My recent OP's are all dated Dec 1969, and if clicked on, yield "That post cannot be found". And apparently all of GD is suffering the same "Time Tunnel" effect.

Rumor has it that Skinner wanted to take a nap, and set the DU clock, not the alarm clock. This has not been confirmed by EarlG, though EarlG has found a 4 year old boy in Skinners apartment.

In related news Newt Gingrich is missing and a staffer reports a search of the Gingrich for President tour bus has found no sign of the Former Congressman, and reports of a overweight teenage boy emerging from the bathroom in the bus have not been confirmed.

[font color=#FF0000]The replies are great, too![/font]

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259338


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] rug [/font]

[big] What does the "Remove Forum!" button do?[/big]

H&M-D, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124015210


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] pinboy3niner [/font]

[big]Damn you, DU2 dead-enders![/big]

THIS MEANS WAR!


GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259487


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] rug [/font]

[big] Satellite photo of GD.[/big]



GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259476


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080]Dragonfli[/font]

[big]Damn It!! I was in the shower for just a moment and I missed the Rapture![/big]

I see most people made it, I didn't believe in the fairy tale but I guess the joke is on me.


So, I guess it's just us now!!.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] MineralMan [/font]

[big]7. We're....LEFT BEHIND![/big]

Waaaaaa....

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] theaocp [/font]

[big]10. Don't worry.[/big]

It was overrated.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Renew Deal [/font]

[big]11. Harold Camping was right![/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] zbdent [/font]

[big]13. I think that what I was doing at the time disqualified myself ...[/big]

and yet, I haven't gone blind ...

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259073



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Confusious [/font]

[big]I think a Host hit the wrong button[/big]

Hehe.

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259060


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] racaulk [/font]

[big] Hold on, everyone! I'm calling tech support to see if they can help...[/big]



[font color=#FF0000]More lolcats in the replies![/font]

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259259


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] spanone [/font]

[big]ok, who erased the board....step forward!!![/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of stern-looking teacher[/font]

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259056


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] FSogol [/font]

I was on the jury that locked General Discussion
At Thu Dec 22, 2011, 15:18 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

[big]I've had it, I'm locking GD!11!1[/big]

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

You can't let this continue. These posts that unabashedly attack segments of DU "ie: "The blind supporters on here". This form then goes on to attack anyone who supports this president. Very much like a right wing troll would.

JURY RESULTS

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu Dec 22, 2011, 15:18 PM, and the Jury voted 4-2 to HIDE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Wow, this is a close one.
I'd hate to see DU GD continue.
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT and said: Implying that GD or DU is fascist is insulting on it's face. As well as saying the right wing meme that GD has been a complete disaster.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT and said: I agree, it's over the top.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT and said: "This forum is nothing but a little fascist fiefdom"
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Simple disagreement is not grounds for locking an entire forum.

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] RZM [/font]

[big]3. The dead giveaway . . .[/big]

Everybody wrote a comment

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] FSogol [/font]

[big]7. Heh, heh[/big]

It was an actual jury from earlier today. Everyone commented which is the 1st time I saw that happen.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] joshcryer [/font]

[big]4. The 6th juror isn't listed.[/big]

Presumably they voted to hide it.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] FSogol [/font]

[big]6. My bad. Juror #6:[/big]

Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT and said: I agree with the alerter. It's okay to be critical of GD, but disparaging other DUers in such a way is unwarranted. If I had a pizza....

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259232


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] WCGreen [/font]

[big]Oh the eloquence I have had robbed from my magic quill...[/big]

The pain and sorrow that eddied from my dying, trembling hand that went the way of Hamlets father, the tragic king of Danes when they were once more than a clever actress...

The sorrow that does befall this sotted grey matter that no longer matters.

Sweet electronic ether that erased the sweat and toil of a mind made addled by the intoxicated drink of ego and self-aggrandizement...

What wisdom was lost as electrons were laid low in the Underground of Democrats, the essense that we call the soul of our lush allegiance left at the sacrificial bier..

Out damn post, out I say and yet never more does thee abhor labor lost for the love of ego.

Will nothing wash the shame of the shameless...

Oh Skinner, you have torn the soul from my mortal coil.

Anon, anon, my post in General Discussion is dead.

My kingdom for the automatic save.

Tis truly the winter of my discontent forced to join the disconnected rabble disguised as patriots and scoundrels...

Tis better to have written and lost than to never have written et all.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead, long live the Brotherhood of man, the merry wives of General Discussion, this band of democrats shall never pass.

‘Cause truly we are just men and women, nay soldier forced to give the ultimate sacrifice in the cause rhetorical...

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100260687


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete

[big]Massive 1,100+ year old Maya site discovered in Georgia's mountains[/big]
Massive 1,100+ year old Maya site discovered in Georgia's mountains

Archaeological zone 9UN367 at Track Rock Gap, near Georgia’s highest mountain, Brasstown Bald, is a half mile (800 m) square and rises 700 feet (213 m) in elevation up a steep mountainside. Visible are at least 154 stone masonry walls for agricultural terraces, plus evidence of a sophisticated irrigation system and ruins of several other stone structures. Much more may be hidden underground. It is possibly the site of the fabled city of Yupaha, which Spanish explorer Hernando de Soto failed to find in 1540, and certainly one of the most important archaeological discoveries in recent times.

BLAIRSVILLE, GA (December 21, 2011) -- Around the year 800 AD the flourishing Maya civilization of Central America suddenly began a rapid collapse. A series of catastrophic volcanic eruptions were followed by two long periods of extreme drought conditions and unending wars between city states.

Cities and agricultural villages in the fertile, abundantly watered, Maya Highlands were the first to be abandoned. Here, for 16 centuries, Itza Maya farmers produced an abundance of food on mountainside terraces. Their agricultural surpluses made possible the rise of great cities in the Maya Lowlands and Yucatan Peninsula. When the combination of volcanic eruptions, wars and drought erased the abundance of food, famines struck the densely populated Maya Lowlands. Within a century, most of the cities were abandoned. However, some of the cities in the far north were taken over by the Itza Maya and thrived for two more centuries.

MORE:http://www.examiner.com/architecture-design-in-national/track-rock-terraces-photo

http://www.examiner.com/architecture-design-in-national/massive-1-100-year-old-maya-site-discovered-georgia-s-mountains

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] MilesColtrane [/font]

[big] 13. Sooo...the author's saying there was Georgia On Maya Mind?[/big]



GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259128


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Amerigo Vespucci

[big] General Discussion...it was fun while it lasted.[/big]

Hope the admins have backups.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] dixiegrrrrl [/font]
[big]1. Ok..fess up. What did you do to it?[/big]

Tell me now and I promise I won't be mad.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Amerigo Vespucci [/font]
[big]2. My immediate reaction was that it HAD to be one of my posts.[/big]

It's like those bottles of atomic hot sauce. More than one drop and yer askin' fer TROUBLE.





____________________________________

[font color=#800080] fishwax [/font]
[big]3. I think a disgruntled GrovelBot took it hostage[/big]

He can't be happy that DU3 has put him out of business ...



H&M-D, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124015118


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Earth_First

[big]Alright, who erased DU3 General Discussion?[/big]

Fess up...

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] kenny blankenship [/font]

[big]2. WHO LOOKS "OBSOLETE" NOW, HUH?[/big]

HUH?

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Zorra [/font]

[big]14. No one was hurt, and there is no law against[/big]

making forums invisible. DU3 was not damaged; it's just that no one can see it because it now exists in tangible form only in 1969.

We'll bring it back, undamaged when Occupy DU2 gets permanent residence in this park.

DU3 is safely and sound. We are hoping to begin negotiations shortly.

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of Prof. Brown’s DeLorean time machine[/font]

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2469465#2469490


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080]MineralMan[/font]

[big] Well, I confess.[/big]

As a host, I locked the entire GD Forum. Yeah...that's the ticket.

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259121


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by NNN0LHI

[big]Did Skinner break out the Tombstones or what?[/big]

Whats going on? Are there fewer of us now?

Hello, hello. Anybody there?

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] FogerRox [/font]

[big]14. Clock, it is now December 1969[/big]

Isnt it cool, we just landed on the moon.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] CJCRANE [/font]

[big]12. I leave you guys alone with GD for a few minutes[/big]

and this is what I come back to...

To say I'm disappointed is an understatement.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] sharp_stick
[/font]
[big]13. He's had a bit too much rum in the eggnog[/big]

and decided screw it, these entitled twerps have to find their own message board.

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of panda, captioned “fuck this shit”.[/font]


GD, Dec 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259142


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Skinner

[big]UPDATE: DATA LOSS IN THE GENERAL DISCUSSION FORUM.[/big]

At approximately 3:30 PM ET this afternoon, we had a glitch -- an unfortunate combination of software and human error -- which deleted the original post (OP) of every thread in the General Discussion forum. Replies were not affected.

The bug has been fixed so this will never happen again.

Fortunately we keep nightly backups, so we were able to recover every original post that was posted here up until approximately 3:30 AM ET this morning. Unfortunately, this leaves approximately 12 hours of OPs that we were unable to completely recover.

For the missing 12 hours of OPs, we were able to recover the thread titles, along with other data about the thread. But we were unable to recover the full message text. On these threads, the missing text has been replaced with the following notification:

The message body of this post was accidentally deleted due to an unexpected bug in our new software. The bug has been fixed, and most of the data was recovered. But unfortunately we were unable to recover the full text of this post. An older version of this post may be available in its edit history. Also, the author of the post may edit the post to replace the missing text, if they wish. The DU Administrators apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you for your understanding.


So, if the message text of your OP is missing, you have options:

1) If you edited your OP at any time, then the most recent version is saved in the edit history of the post.

2) You can edit the OP to update the message text.

We understand that this situation is very disappointing, especially if you spent time and effort crafting an OP that is now gone forever. When you post on DU, you expect your post to be there, and you expect that something like this will not happen. The DU Administrators are very sorry for this catastrophic error, and we will do everything in our power to hopefully avoid repeating this mistake.

Again, we are very sorry. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

David Allen
DU Administrator

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] gateley [/font]

[big]1. Swell. There went my DUzy. nt[/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Or not![/font]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] PCIntern [/font]

[big]8. I had posted that alternative solution to Fermat's Theorem here but...[/big]

OH NO!!!!!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Fire Walk With Me [/font]

[big]20. Administrator Stimpson, you are hereby terminated.[/big]

You were told not to press that button.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] westerebus [/font]

[big]28. How many times do we have to go over this?[/big]

Do not place sippy cups on top of the server.

Now do I alert on myself for being disruptive, cause I want a jury. And I want one now! Or not...

GD, Dec. 22, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100259992


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Amerigo Vespucci

[big] Iowa Vet to Newt Gingrich: "You know something? You’re a f*cking a**hole."[/big]

Iowa Vet Calls Newt Gingrich A ‘F**cking A**hole’ During Grocery Store Appearance

by Colby Hall | 9:01 am, December 21st, 2011



http://www.mediaite.com/tv/iowa-vets-call-newt-gingrich-a-fcking-ahole-during-grocery-store-appearance/

With the Iowa caucus just scant two weeks away, tensions are running high. During a campaign appearance at a grocery store yesterday, on-again, off-again GOP frontrunner Newt Gingrich was approached by a seemingly innocuous supporter, who instead turned out to be something of pretty vocal critic. The grinning man got Gingrich’s attention with “You know something?” before following with “you’re a f*cking a**hole.”

It’s safe to say that Gingrich brings out the passionate side of Iowa voters. During a visit to the Hawkeye State back in May, the former House Speaker was similarly approached by an angry Iowa voter, who told Gingrich that he was “an embarrassment to our party.”

In both instances Mr. Gingrich handled the confrontation with aplomb, in the most recent instance responding to his vocal critic with a familiar playground retort of “it’s a free country.” It’s unclear if Gingrich was referring to the man’s right to free speech, or his own right to be a f**king a**hole.

Fortunately for the U.S. viewing public, a camera situated just behind Gingrich’s sizable cranium captured the entire exchange, which CNN promptly broadcast on The Situation Room yesterday in a report filed by Jim Acosta that focused on Gingrich’s recent challenges in Iowa. In the event that any viewers missed the opening clip, Wolf Blitzer went back to Acosta, asking him to repeat what the angry vet had said. Watching Acosta stumble with an appropriate explanation is almost as entertaining as the source material.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] grantcart [/font]

[big]5. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause[/big]

I know because he just stopped by a grocery store in Iowa to pick up a few things and gave me my Christmas gift two days early,

Sincerly

grantcart

GD, Dec. 23, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100264301



Much thanks to: LiberalAndProud, Hatchling, Hugin, countryjake, Rhiannon12866, CaliforniaPeggy, lazarus, Make7, Vanje, hootinholler, dixiegrrrrl, Enrique, Fire Walk With Me, Ruby the Liberal, Javaman, Devil_Fish, AnOhioan, wryter2000, and grantcart

Have a Happy ChrismaHanahKwannzika, everybody!!!

Submitted for your approval,

-Krispos42
December 17, 2011

DUzy awards for December 16th, 2011



[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the NEW and IMPROVED™ DUZY AWARDS[/big][/big][/big]

Your weekly collection of snark, silliness, puns, and jokes that reveal the depths to which some of us need intensive and long-term counseling and/or sobriety.

Some of you are doubtless asking “hey, krispos, how are the DUzies new and improved?” The answer is…

…the New and Improved™ color of the excerpt boxes!

Note to mods: None of the Admins have authorized the posting of the DUzies in GD, and I don’t give a crap because there aren’t any more mods. So there! :Þ

Note to Admins: this would be a bit more legible if the “big” command worked! Hint-hint-hint


How this works: I post an original post and all the replies to it that have been nominated for the award. The OP may or may not qualify, and I may include non-nominated posts that are needed for context. If the poster’s name is in [font color=#800080]purple[/font] then you’ve won an award. If in black, then you’re not trying hard enough.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by WillyT

[big] (Delusional) Lindsey Graham: Consumer Protection Bureau 'Is Something Out Of The Stalinist Era'[/big]
Lindsey Graham: Consumer Protection Bureau 'Is Something Out Of The Stalinist Era'
Ryan Grim - HuffPo
First Posted: 12/11/11 12:02 PM ET Updated: 12/11/11 12:13 PM ET

<snip>

WASHINGTON -- Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) said on Sunday that an agency established to protect consumers from financial fraud "is something out of the Stalinist era."

Graham, speaking on NBC's "Meet The Press," was asked why Senate Republicans had filibustered President Obama's nominee to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which was created as part of 2010's Wall Street reform. Graham spoke as if the bureau had yet to be created and debate was over how to shape it, rather than discussing the nominee, Richard Cordray, the former attorney general in Ohio.

"This consumer bureau that they want to propose is under the Federal Reserve, no appropriation oversight, no board. It is something out of the Stalinist era," Graham said.

The CFPB moved through both chambers of Congress and passed the Senate in a landslide, winning 60 votes, including three Republicans. "The reason Republicans don't want to vote for it is we want a board, not one person making all the regulatory decisions," said Graham, continuing to talk as if the bureau doesn't yet exist.

<snip>

More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/11/lindsey-graham-consumer-protection-bureau-stalinist_n_1141817.html
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] eppur_se_muova [/font]
[big]4. Yes, because Stalin always put consumers first. nt[/big]



Graham is a parody.


GD, Dec. 11, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025089


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Capn Sunshine

[big]Just so we're clear, speaking as a member of the DNC- WE DID NOT BAN OWS from the convention[/big]

It's the City of fucking Charlotte.

Not in our control.

I definitely will see that someone from OWS gets a turn at the podium. Even if its me.
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] jberryhill [/font]
[big] 16. The whole city? I hope they give that gal a rest now and then. [/big]

GD, Dec. 12, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100210380


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE] In an original post by Newsjock

[big]Righthaven backed into a corner; copyrights to be auctioned[/big]
Source: Vegas Inc (Las Vegas Sun)

Copyright lawsuit filer Righthaven LLC of Las Vegas faced more problems Monday after a federal judge granted a defendant’s motion that Righthaven be placed under control of a receiver and that its copyrights be auctioned off, giving it nothing to sue or appeal over.

U.S. District Judge Philip Pro granted the motion made by attorneys for defendant Wayne Hoehn, who said a receiver was needed to run the company and that its assets should be auctioned.

That was after Righthaven failed to pay their attorney’s fees and U.S. Marshals were unable to round up enough Righthaven assets to cover their fees totaling more than $63,000.

... A U.S. magistrate judge on Monday also ordered that Righthaven CEO Steven Gibson and his wife, Raisha “Drizzle” Gibson, appear in court on Jan. 5 “and provide testimony under oath concerning the location of Righthaven’s assets.”

Read more: http://www.vegasinc.com/news/2011/dec/12/righthaven-backed-corner-copyrights-be-auctioned
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Pab Sungenis [/font]
[big]6. Anyone know what the copyright used in the suit against DU, specifically, was?[/big]

Wouldn't it be a hoot for us to buy that copyright and give it to Skinner as a Christmas present?

LBN, Dec. 12, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141563


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] denbot [/font]

[big]Dear Monkey Gods of Admin status[/big]

The Veterans Group does not have any Hosts. I don't know exactly know what hosts should do, but I do believe that DU NEEDS a Veterans Group, and I would like to help it get started.

My qualifications are: I am a Navy veteran with a campaign ribbon for service in the persian gulf. I am the son of a Veteran, the Nephew & cousin of Army, Navy, Marine, and Airforce veterans of the Vietnam War, Grand son of WWII Navy vet, great grand son of a WWI veteran, and a great great grand son of combatants from both sides of the apache wars.

My primary medical and occasional mental health care comes from the West Los Angeles V.A. Hospital system. I am sure there are much better hosts out there, but I am more then willing to fill in until they muster for duty.

I for one hail my Simian Overlords.

Peace, and should that fail, poo shall be flung.

H&M-D, Dec. 13, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12406953



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by A-Schwarzenegger

[big]You can PM yourself.[/big]

Please don't abuse it.
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Make7 [/font]
[big]5. I wonder if you'll be able to block PM's from yourself.[/big]

Just in case you start start stalking you.
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] A-Schwarzenegger [/font]
[big]6. Before I blocked myself,[/big]

I would first ask politely that I discontinue PMing me.
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] A-Schwarzenegger [/font]
[big]7. Look in your Inbox.[/big]


[font color=#FF0000]Lots more humor in the thread![/font]

H&M-D, Dec. 12, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12405695


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Little Star

[big]The Palins Can't Sell New Reality Show..[/big]
Her 15 minutes seem to be over, thank goodness!

http://www.mediaite.com/online/report-sarah-palin-is-having-a-tough-time-pitching-a-reality-series-about-todd/
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] JBoy [/font]
[big]2. Lots of options for Todd left[/big]

Dancing with the Stars
The Apprentice
Survivor
Real Househusbands of Wasilla
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] itsrobert [/font]
[big]4. and[/big]

The Bachelor.

Meth Rush Alaska (Gold Rush Alaska)

Showbiz, Dec. 13, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/102918


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] corkhead [/font]

[big] A bug or a trippy hallucination regarding the testing of ignore[/big]

about 1pm et, today, I saw a new thread come up posted by "Eladtest" (if I recall correctly) that said "Testing the ignore feature" "Please ignore me". I thought I would volunteer some assistance, so I poked around, found ignore, and when I picked it, I got a "page not found" error. My subsequent reply ended up in the "Vegetarian, Vegan and Animal Rights group", where it was quickly locked because it looked like I was barking at the moon. To add to this weirdness, I was briefly knighted "Host" of that forum for about 5 minutes before my "superpowers" were revoked by Skinner.

Paging Lewis Caroll... What the hell happened? Were those magic mushrooms in my pasta primavera?

H&M-D, Dec. 13, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12407962


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by WillParkinson

[big] Who pulled the fast one on Rick Santorum?[/big]

[font color=#FF0000]The picture is priceless![/font]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] madamesilverspurs [/font]
[big]2. Wow.[/big]

Somebody is fluent in Turdish. . .

GD, Dec. 13, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100214461


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE][font color=#006400] Amerigo Vespucci [/font]

[big] Freepers respond to their "Planned Parenthood encourages ‘young children’ to masturbate" thread[/big]

The thread:

Planned Parenthood encourages ‘young children’ to masturbate
Life Site News ^ | 12/14/2011 | John-Henry Weston
Posted on Wed Dec 14 2011 06:40:25 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by IbJensen

NEW YORK, December 13, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) - Planned Parenthood’s main website encourages pre-pubescent children to masturbate. On a section of the site with ‘info for teens’ a Q&A presents the question “Is it normal to masturbate before puberty?” The answer begins, “The myth is that it’s abnormal for children to masturbate. The truth is that masturbation is a perfectly healthy activity at any age.”

The news comes as little surprise to Dr. Judith Reisman the researcher who discovered that in the late 1950s sexologist Alfred Kinsey had data relating to masturbation of babies, which was later discovered to have been undertaken for Kinsey by a pedophile.

Dr. Reisman, Visiting Professor of Law at Liberty University School of Law, told LifeSiteNews that Planned Parenthood has been encouraging young children to masturbate “for decades.” She said that the devastation resulting from such “early childhood sexual trauma” can lead to addiction to orgasm, for which there now exists technical terms - “Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD) and, Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS).”


The responses:

To: IbJensenLoni Anderson encouraged me to masturbate.

2 posted on Wed Dec 14 2011 06:43:40 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by cripplecreek (Stand with courage or shut up and do as you're told.)

***

To: cripplecreek

[font color=#FF0000]Classic pic of Farrah Fawcet[/font]

Farrah did it for me!

4 posted on Wed Dec 14 2011 06:48:25 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by massmike (Massachusetts:Stopped hanging witches;started electing Kennedys.Coincidence?)

***

To: IbJensen
PP encourages kids to masterbate for the same reason McDonalds encourages them to eat hamburger.

13 posted on Wed Dec 14 2011 07:06:48 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by circlecity

***

To: IbJensen
Planned Parenthood = Jerry Sandusky enablers.

14 posted on Wed Dec 14 2011 07:06:52 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by OrangeHoof (Obama: The Dr. Kevorkian of the American economy.)

***

To: IbJensen

They want to disorganize America and turn it into some African nation of little savage pervs who will think of no further than, litteraly, a spitting distance. Obama wants a lottery drawn about who will be America or leading the world next. It’s a scam of course because he is cynical and only wants to destroy and not build any other country. It’s part of the French Guillotine and Soviet Purge denounciation system. It’s easy when someone will be paid with drugs or a quick sex fix or homosexual acts in public to denounce the rich and the organized vs. a disorganized idiotic state and Marxist gang of morons. Their equality of wealth somehow does not imply merrit in their equation. It’s like “hope and change” taking the convicted fox into the hen house will change him into a hen. The guy is a murderer, thief and organizer of pogroms (flash mobs and OWS) and genocide. Welcome Pol Pot USA.

50 posted on Wed Dec 14 2011 09:30:44 GMT-0800 (Pacific Standard Time) by JudgemAll (Democrats Fed. job-security Whorocracy & hate:hypocrites must be gay like us or be tested/crucified)


____________________________________

[font color=#800080] kenny blankenship [/font]
[big]12. I think I've found my favorite sentence in the English language![/big]

Last edited Wed Dec 14, 2011, 01:53 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)
"It’s easy when someone will be paid with drugs or a quick sex fix or homosexual acts in public to denounce the rich and the organized vs. a disorganized idiotic state and Marxist gang of morons."

Just a quick scan of this provides a contact high of a power equal to any intoxicant. Deep contemplation of this Dadaist text, in a heroic but futile attempt to apprehend the author's meaning thwarts and demolishes the reasoning faculty, liberating one's being from the petty and hectoring demands of the Ego, and induces a state of openness and loving union with the Cosmos, such as Hindu swamis are said to achieve through years of unbroken meditation.

GD, Dec. 14, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100216570

[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by struggle4progress

[big] Help! I think I might have a problem with my computer[/big]

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Occulus [/font]
[big]1. Drinktray stuck shut again?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] struggle4progress [/font]
[big]4. No. That flimsy piece of craptastic plastic broke off after it tried to close with my carmug in it[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] canetoad [/font]
[big]2. You need to update your hard drive[/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Old print ad for a 10MB, $3,400 hard drive[/font]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] struggle4progress [/font]
[big]3. Can't I just run it through the dishwasher?[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Occulus [/font]
[big]5. That would drown the magic pixies living inside it[/big]

The place they live in is probably getting bumpy. You can smooth their magnetic terrain with an industrial-grade molybdenum magnet.

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] wizstars [/font]
[big]12. back up my hard drive? Where's the reverse switch???[/big]

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] SecularMotion [/font]
[big]17. Sounds like a nut loose on the keyboard[/big]



Computer Help and Support. Apr. 28, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10951


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Bucky

[big]Now, four times in 3 days I've been asked to be on a jury...[/big]

and four times in 3 days I've clicked "yes" only to be told I'm too damn late. You think they're just screwin' with me?

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] MiddleFingerMom [/font]
[big]4. Stay tuned for the second part of our feature film today, "One Angry Man" n/t[/big]

The Lounge, Dec. 14, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10187336



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Remember Me

[big] I'd like to request a sound accompany invitations to serve on a jury[/big]

That's TWICE I've missed the invitation simply because I didn't see it. If it had a unique -- or even not so unique -- sound that accompanied it, it would be ever so helpful!

How 'bout it?

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Bucky [/font]
[big]22. I recommend a "Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoiiinnnnggg!" from "The Banana Splits"[/big]

Or one of those cat-mewing autosounds singing "Shave and a Hair Cut... Two Bits!"

If the admins can afford it, I'd also like to hear the Benny Hill theme song played on continuous loop at double time the whole time I'm trying to decide whether to delete an offensive post or not. I think it would just add to the angst and fun of it all.

H&M-D, Dec. 12, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12406694



[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by thomhartmann

[big]Thom Hartmann: GOP's love affair with Dr. Strange...Newt [/big]

Richard Eskow, Campaign for America's Future joins Thom Hartmann. And Newt Gringrich seems to have become the GOP flavor of the month rather than just the flavor of the week - but are Respublicans really ready to make the strangest candidate in the race their nominee for the White House? Republican Presidential front-runner Newt Gingrich doesn’t just want to throw you in jail for smoking pot - he wants to kill you!

The Big Picture with Thom Hartmann on RT TV & FSTV "live" 9pm and 11pm check www.thomhartmann.com/tv for local listings
____________________________________

[font color=#800080] CreekDog [/font]
[big]3. HAHAHA Dr. Strange![/big]



____________________________________

[font color=#800080] Dr. Strange [/font]
[big]4. Locking.[/big]

This is teh bullshit!

____________________________________

[font color=#800080] racaulk [/font]
[big]5. Begone, you have no powers here![/big]



____________________________________

[font color=#800080] TZ [/font]
[big]7. heh.[/big]

This is appropriate as most of the GOP are giant boobs and we all know how MUCH you love those, Dr. Boobie, er Dr. Strange...


Video & Multimedia, Dec. 14, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1017829


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In a hidden original post by [font color=#FF0000]late, unlamented[/font] Conservative GOP

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Prism [/font]
[big]17. There's three things wrong there.[/big]

View profile
You're conservative. You're a Republican. And . . . ah . . . uhm . . . . er . . . . Hrm. Can't remember the third one.

Oops.

GD, Dec. 16, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100227146


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE] In an original post by cleanhippie

[big]The jury system seems to have many, many flaws. Here's another one.[/big]

I just had a post hidden because the jury felt I called the poster I responded to a "bum."

The problem is, THAT'S THE POSTERS NAME!!!!!!!!!!

There needs to be an appeal process here.

____________________________________


[font color=#800080] Make7 [/font]
[big]2. I'll bet people replying to 'ASS' will have the same problem...[/big]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=profile&uid=151292

H&M-D, Dec. 14, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12409090



Much thanks to: eppur_se_muova, Union Scribe, muriel_volestrangler, gkhouston, sufrommich, Spazito, rocktivity, Matariki, Ruby the Liberal, LiberalAndProud, dixiegrrrrl, MadrasT, and PunkinPi



This concludes the first of hopefully many, many DUzies to come!

-Krispos42
December 13, 2011

The DUzies return this Friday!

Hello everybody, this is DUer krispos42!

I'm happy to announce that I convinced the Admins that the DUzies were going to be a vital necessity for DU for the upcoming election season. And with the launch of DU3, I even bribed them into setting up a DUzies-only account so that, no matter who does the awards in the future, the DUzies will remain in a central repository of humor forever!

I don't know why the Admins wanted a shaven llama, and quite frankly I don't want to know. At least I was able to use some of the connections I made during my time in Minnesota.

You would think central Minnesota would be a bit too flat for llamas... and you'd be wrong.






Anyway, naturally the DUzies need NOMINATIONS the way John Boehner needs kleenex.

SO, if you see a post that makes you LOL, DU-mail it to The DUzy Awards!

Copy-and-paste the post in you'd like to nominate into a DU-mail. Don't forget to include the author, post #, and text, PLUS the address of the thread it's in, so I can find the darn thing.


It should look like this random post from the Humor Group.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Response to TheMadMonk (Original post)

Mon Dec 12, 2011, 03:24 PM

Star Member meow2u3
3. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

View profile
None. They just blame the Democrats for having blown the bulb.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/119860


Thanks for your kicks and recs (ahem!) so that the word gets out.


Warmest regards for my DU brethren,

Krispos42


Profile Information

Name: hootinholler
Gender: Male
Hometown: MD
Home country: USA
Current location: Facilitatorville
Member since: Mon Dec 12, 2011, 11:59 PM
Number of posts: 120
Latest Discussions»The DUzy Awards's Journal