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Wolf Frankula

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Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 3,119

Journal Archives

I"ve Had a Cough for a Week

I hate it. It makes me sound like Bill the Cat. Ack! OOP!

Maybe I'll run for President.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Oct 24, 2015, 09:22 PM (4 replies)

Questions about Bernie

I like most of what I have heard about Sanders. I agree with a lot of his positions. But I have three questions about the man. 1: Is he tough enough to win. Does he understand that politics is war without the shooting? 2: Does he understand that government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. 3: If elected as a Democrat, will he govern as a Democrat. Or will he attempt to 'reach across the aisle,' 'form a bipartisan consensus' or other such caving in?

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Sep 9, 2015, 04:15 AM (13 replies)

If This Is True, Foodie Trendiness Can Go No Further

I have heard that a trendy restaurant in London sells Deconstructed Water. For the equivalent of five dollars, the restaurant serves you an empty glass, with an affidavit that the glass contains hydrogen and oxygen.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jul 4, 2015, 06:17 PM (7 replies)

Some Minor Crotchets about Beer

Oneth, this is NOT about how beer was better in the 'Good Old Days', it wasn't. It's better now. But I have a few minor complaints.

A: Every IPA does not have to be a hop bomb. It seems brewers are trying to make the hoppiest beers possible. Somebody brews a 100 IBU beer, and somebody else HAS to top that. The original IPAs were hoppy, but not the bombs we see now.

B: There are other brewing traditions beside the Belgian. Again, it seems almost every brewer is making sours, abbeys, dubbels, tripels, quadrupels, fruit beers, saisons and so on. Actually a reaction seems to have begun against this. One local brewery is brewing Scottish ales, another specializes in German beers and so on.

C: Stop just showing off. You make bad beers. One brewer, New Belgium I think it was, had a cooperative beer where it seemed one brewer wanted to make a saison, one wanted to make a fruit beer and one wanted to make a sour. They ended up making a mess.

D: Respect the style. Pilsener does not have rice in it. You don't barrel age Helles. Dark rye fruit kolsch (the brewer stopped making it) was an abomination.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue Jun 30, 2015, 01:34 PM (25 replies)

There Will be a Third Season of Broadchurch w/a Not Spoiler

And David Tennant will be back.

And this is the not spoiler. Sharon Bishop has to leave the case because of a family emergency. She is replaced by an elderly fattish man, with thinning hair. He wears a somewhat yellowed horsehair peruke, and has a trace of cigar ash on his waistcoat. Before he can introduce himself Counsel for the Prosecution says, "In the view of developments, the Crown does not feel that justice would be served by the continuation of this trial. We request dismissal of all charges."

"The defense has no objection," the new defense barrister says as he rises and bows. "Then may my client be discharged?"

"Yes, Mister Rumpole," the judge says.

This does not happen.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Apr 10, 2015, 02:17 PM (1 replies)

Impossible Movie Mashup: Clockwork Orange/Tommy

And Alex and the droogs get to be the good guys. It's the scene where Cousin Kevin is torturing Tommy. Kevin feels a cold draft as the door is opened. He hears Alex's lilting voice say,

"Well, well, welly, well WELL! If it isn't my old droog, Kevin. How art thou, thou vonny grazhny bratchny?"

Poor old Dim, who was really dim, goes over to Kevin and picks him up by the throat. He says, "You've been cruel to Tommy. He is my friend. I don't like people who are cruel to my friends."

Kevin platches as the droogs beat the cal out of him.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Apr 4, 2015, 03:12 PM (0 replies)

Tomorrow I am Going to be 60

I made some informal resolutions to keep when I am old. Now that I will be 60 (that seemed old when I made these) I look back and think I have kept (more or less) them. Here they are, with some illuminative stories

1: I will not regard everybody younger than me as put on this planet to be my servant. This annoyed me when I was younger, and I resolved not to do it. I haven't and don't.

2: I will not say 'When I was your age' and follow it with how much better I was than the person I'm talking to. In those days we answered 'When I was your age' with 'When you were my age people walked on four legs.'

3: I will speak respectfully to younger people so long as they speak respectfully to me. I remember once going into a restaurant when I was 19 to get a coffee and a bowl of soup. I had filed my copy and was taking time before a city council meeting. An elderly woman fixed me with a glare and said "Young man!" in a stern voice. I ignored her, I didn't know her and had no idea why she would be addressing me. She snapped "Young Man!" again. I looked up from my soup and she snapped "I have a dirty fork!"
I shrugged. I didn't work there, It wasn't my problem. I said, "It's not my concern." Before I finish what she was saying, she snapped "You're very rude, boy. I'm going to call the manager." She did, the manager explained I did not work there. She should stop bothering the other customers. She snorted at me and stalked out.

Since then when I approach somebody younger it's 'Mister, Sir, Ma'am, Mizz' never "young man, young lady, boy, girl, kid, sonny boy' or something disrespectful like that.

4: I will not blather on about how music, people, movies, theater, food, and so on were better when I was younger. These are matters of taste. And It was not easier to get a job. I had the oil shock, stagflation and the Reagan Depression to deal with. I had a job during the first two, but constantly worried about losing it. And beer is much better now.

5: I will not say stupid things like 'I'm older and wiser.' Robert Heinlein was right when he had Lazarus Long say, "Age does not bring wisdom. Often it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. "

6: I will not make stupid threats. Especially I will not threaten to whip, spank, tan the hide, warm the bottom or other battery of someone younger. I remember hearing a friend's aunt say, 'You're not too big to spank, boy.' to him. He responded, 'And neither are you, and you'll find that out if you try it." You do not threaten to spank a paratrooper in the US Army.

7: I will not whine about my ailments. Actually I'm very healthy for my age. Active physical jobs, not smoking, and fighting with the rapier and tweehander have kept me so.

8: I will not fool myself into thinking very young women especially desire me.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jan 10, 2015, 03:39 PM (27 replies)

A New Years Resolution.

Thanx to the Late H. Allen Smith.

WHEREAS, today is slotted into that never-never region in which dwell men
and women who should have known better last night, and
WHEREAS, such men and women are undeserving of either consoling words or any
contrived refuge from the pain of remorse, and
WHEREAS, medical science has developed no antidote for the desolation
wrought by self-indulgence, and
WHEREAS, only the passage of time can repair suffered through conformity
with idiotic custom, and
WHEREAS, men and women of character and intelligence and the grace that
comes with maturity observed the blending of two mathematical segments of
time with neither wonder nor emotion and so witnessed the flame of the
rising sun with the great joy of good health and consciences unsoiled, then,
BE IT RESOLVED, that such men and women as described in paragraphs 1 and 2
of the Preamble hereto and properly living in misery and disgrace and
seemingly in the shadow of death, be accorded from such men and women as
described in the Preamble glowing with vigor snd sublimely free of sin, no
words but these


Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:36 AM (1 replies)
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