HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Wolf Frankula » Journal
Page: 1 2 Next »

Wolf Frankula

Profile Information

Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 1,687

Journal Archives

Things You Used to Think Were Funny but Don't Now

Here are three of my examples

1: Some of the old National Lampoon. I have .pdfs from a now dead site that had the 'Poon back in the '70's when it was funny. Some of it, the comics, Bruce McCall's parodies and more are still funny. But did I ever think Mrs. Agnew's Diary, Mr. Chatterbox, My Meter is Running, and more were funny? Apparently I did, but not now.

2: P.J. O'Rourke's "Parliament of Whores". when I bought it, back in the '80's I thought it was a hoot. Now I think it's just spoiled brat smartassery.

3: Sol Weinstein's "Loxfinger" a James Bond parody about Secret Agent Israel Bond, Agent Oy-Oy Seven. I roared 40 years ago when I read it. Now I think it's just a succession of bad Jew Jokes. He was capable of better, Jonathan Segal Chicken, Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Sex but I'll Tell You Anyway.

Does anybody else have anything like that?

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Mon May 8, 2017, 02:31 PM (6 replies)

Today is World Penguin Day





Are You Prepared ?

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue Apr 25, 2017, 08:39 PM (2 replies)

Looking for Firefox ad blocker that doesn't want be constantly be updated with the same update

I have tried, AdBlocker, AdBlocker Plus, and uBlock. Each constantly wants to receive the same update. Is there one that doesn't?

Thank you all.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Mar 16, 2017, 06:28 PM (4 replies)

Questions for People Who Don't Have Cats

1: What does a live mouse look like? All I ever see are parts of dead ones.

2: What do cold feet feel like in bed. I have no idea.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Mar 3, 2017, 05:33 PM (29 replies)

Thank You Very Much for the Heart!

Whoever you were.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Feb 11, 2017, 03:17 PM (0 replies)

Has Everybody Done their Super Sunday things?

You know, put up your Super Sunday decorations, got your Super Sunday goalposts, bought and wrapped your Super Sunday presents, sent out your Super Sunday cards, taken the kids to see Howard Cosell?

I have.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sun Feb 5, 2017, 12:33 PM (3 replies)

Rewriting sad song songs to give them a happy ending.

Here's 'Leader of the Pack' with a happy ending. Well for everybody but her father.


Leader of the Pack, Happy ending version.


Mm--"Is she really going out with him?
"Well, there she is, Let's ask her"
"Betty, is that Jimmy's ring you're wearing?"
"Mm-hm"
"Gee, it must be great riding with him"
"Is he picking you up after school today?"
"Mm-mm"
"By the way, where did you meet him?"

"I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture
"Yes, we see"
That's when I fell for the leader of the pack

My folks were always putting him down
They said he came from the wrong side of town
They told me he was bad but I knew he was sad
That's why I fell for the leader of the pack

One day my dad said find someone new
I tried to tell my Jimmy we're through
He just smiled as he bought some gas, and then he kicked my father's ass
You don't dick around with the leader of the pack

Do do
He said we're together and that's all
He bounced my dad like a basketball
He told my mom if she called the cops,
He'd put them both in a box,
Yes Yes Yes Yes! Somebody's finally standing up to my parents.

Now we're together every day
We make love in every way
I can't stand to be without his face,
And so I'm moving to his place
I'm so glad I met him, the leader of the pack

Ooh, the leader of the pack he's my love
the leader of the pack he's my love
the leader of the pack he's my love.
Written by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, George Morton revised by Wolf Frankula.
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Feb 1, 2017, 05:55 PM (8 replies)

Don't Forget Good King Stephen

"Good King Stephen looked outside,
On the Feast of Wenzel.
Slapped his pocket and exclaimed,
'I have lost my pencil!'

While a lackey standing near
A window drew a stencil.
And a rooster crowed quite loud,
Sitting on a fencil hmmm.

Then King Stephen went outdoors,
Into the night so cru-el.
And he saw a poor man there,
Gath'ring winter fu-el.

He said 'That I'm still up north,
I feel like a foo-el.
If I were in Cape Town now,
I'd be by the poo-el hmmm."

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Mon Dec 26, 2016, 09:04 PM (0 replies)

Are these quotes genuine?

I've been using some for years, but now I suspect they are not. Some are political, some not.

George H. W. Bush on Pat Robertson. "Yes Jesus told him to run for President, but Jesus forgot to tell anybody to vote for him."

Ronald Reagan on making movies. "Never make a movie with an animal. If it's a hit, the animal gets the credit. If it's a flop, you get the blame."

Richard Nixon on Ronald Reagan running for Governor. "The only reason they're running Reagan is they couldn't get the monkey."

Ben Stein on Richard Nixon. "He's guilty as hell."

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Aug 20, 2016, 02:53 PM (0 replies)

Naughty Little Suckathumb

The long red legged scissor man
Ah, said Mom, I'd knew he'd come,
To Naughty Little Suckathumb..

The Long Red Legged Scissor Man ran into Suckathumb's bedroom. There he saw Naughty Little Suckathumb lying on his bed with Rags the Dog.

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip Snip went the scissors.

The Long Red Legged Scissor Man waved the scissors. Naughty Little Suckathumb reached beside his bed and replied.
"This is an AK-47 select fire riffle firing a 7.62x39 full metal jacketed round from a 30 round magazine. I have locked and loaded."

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.
'Brrrrp' went the AK-47 blowing the Long Red Legged Scissor Man Base over apex. Then Suckathumb leaped up from the bed, took his K-bar and cut off the Long Red Legged Scissor Man's left ear, to verify the kill. Then he and Rags the Dog dragged the carcass to the sitting room. Naughty Little Suckathumb said.

"Here's the last shithead who criticized my habits. Does anybody else have an objection?"

He scratched Rags the Dog, sucked his thumb and went back to his bedroom.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Apr 30, 2016, 08:17 PM (1 replies)
Go to Page: 1 2 Next »