January 27, 2022

A building so unspeakably evil, it should never have even been allowed to stand.

Today is Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Buildings, in general, typically serve a positive purpose in life. They protect us from the elements. They give us shelter, afford us some sense of privacy, and sometimes even help shape our identity depending on its purpose. Houses in particular become "homes" when one gains a sense of familial and emotional attachment by virtue of living in it.

True, they are just brick and mortar (and various other materials), and some are far more utilitarian than others, but overall a building is at worst just a building and there is nothing intrinsically wrong with its own existence.

Whenever I've read or researched about the Holocaust, I'm always struck in particular by the pictures of the gas chambers and crematoriums at Auschwitz and some of the other death camps.

Just the buildings themselves, nothing more.

From first glance, they look--like a lot of things associated with the Nazi regime--extremely banal and unordinary. Brick buildings with a tall chimney. Nothing screaming evil. Without context, one might confuse it for a home, or a warehouse, or some other regular sort of building.

And yet, in context the evil these mere buildings invoke is palpable and utterly horrifying.

The fact that they were even there. The fact that they were built--built with the same ordinary building materials as any other building would use. But built with a sole purpose that was so unspeakably evil it defies words.

The fact that human beings built these wretched--yet from the outside seemingly unextraordinary--buildings. Human beings built these buildings to facilitate the mass murder of other human beings, all because of a perverse ideology run completely amok. People built these buildings so that other people would die.

It just seems so unnatural and bizarre that these buildings actually stood, if even for a day. If even for a second. The ground should have swallowed it up whole and sent it back to the fiery hell from whence it came. Buildings that evil should never have been built by human hands.

But they did. And we are forced to remember that they did, in the hopes that human hands will never, ever build them again.

**NOTE: My purpose in writing this is not to say that these buildings shouldn't be kept as memorials to the atrocities that were committed there. Rather, it's a mere reflection on the fact that some how, some way they were ever built in the very first place.

January 25, 2022

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News correspondent Doocy arrives at press briefing wearing cervical neck collar

A day after a hot mic caught President Joe Biden referring to him as a "stupid son of a bitch," Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy appeared in the White House Daily Briefing Room wearing a white cervical collar around his neck.

"I know, I know, my jarring physical appearance today might appear most upsetting to you, disturbing even," Doocy announced unprompted as several of his fellow journalists continued to jot down notes, unaffected. "But let it be known that I have voluntarily taken on these slings and arrows for all of you--all of us--my brothers and sisters in the vaunted Fourth Estate."

Several of Doocy's colleagues later questioned why he was wearing a medical neck brace given that he had merely been the subject of an off-hand verbal quip by the President, but were at a loss as to how to exactly breach the subject to the Fox correspondent at the time.

"No doubt, these harrowing events have been most difficult for me," Doocy continued. "They have been both emotionally and physically trying at times. Thankfully, my spirits remained buoyed by the people who have supported me throughout my career of journalistic excellence. My friends, my workmates, my wife--"

"Your father?" one of Doocy's colleagues added.

"Yes, my father, too," Doocy continued. "But merely as a means of moral support and moral support alone. My father has always been there to give the occasional 'Ay, attaboy,' or 'Go get 'em, Tiger,' but make no mistake about it, my position at this most prestigious media network is strictly a matter of my own hard work and achievement and nothing else."

Doocy went on to stress how his recent ordeal would not deter him as a "beacon of our cherished First Amendment press freedoms."

"You may be tempted to think I am alone in this situation," Doocy began. "That what has befallen me is something that is completely without precedent. But I tell you now, that is far from the truth! The scourge of persecution of journalists by tyrannical regimes is truly a worldwide conundrum! The free media declared as 'enemies of the people!' Reporters thrust into dank, dark prisons for attempting to reveal the truth! Journalists killed, either by means made to look as though an accident or straight out murder in broad daylight! Correspondents forced to endure barely audible mild profanities! Oh, how we have suffered--how we have all suffered so terribly, all one in the same!"

However, Doocy remained defiant throughout his impromptu briefing room address.

"I tell you now, though, we will never be silenced!" he proclaimed. "What I have so painfully endured I voluntarily accept in the name of the unvarnished truth for all to see and consume! For no matter what befalls us, they will never take our...Oh, by the way, has anyone else tried that new Thai place on G Street? They have this Dragon Roll that is just amaze-balls! Who else wants to come with when all this shit is done?"

DETAILS AT ELEVEN

January 23, 2022

The Packers had open receivers in the end zone all game yesterday

Unfortunately for them, Aaron Rodgers refused to take a shot…

January 20, 2022

BREAKING NEWS: Eric Trump remains open to legal liability after mistakenly pleading Third Amendment

Eric Trump, the son of former President Donald J. Trump and a key figure in his father's various business endeavors, accidently exposed himself to further potential legal liability when during a deposition in a case brought by the New York Attorney General's office against the Trump Organization, he repeated stated that he wished "to assert my Third Amendment privilege."

It is the Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution that permits a person to refuse to answer questions under oath due to fear of self-incrimination; on the other hand, the Third Amendment protects one from being forced to quarter military personnel on his or her property during times of peace.

"It happens," noted one legal expect. "I'm not saying it happens a lot, but I'm sure it happens. People get up to testify, they know they have to assert a privilege under an amendment, but they just can't remember which one. I'm sure Eric probably knew it was an odd numbered amendment, but unfortunately for him, he was two amendments off."

"You know what, now that I think about it, I actually don't think this has ever happened before," the legal expert ultimately was forced to admit. "Like, never."

Meanwhile, Trump's invocation of his Third Amendment rights created further unanticipated complications, as a unit of the Florida National Guard that had been taking up residence at Trump's Jupiter, Florida home was forced to quickly vacate the premises immediately upon Trump having raised his Constitutional privilege.

"Do I like the guy's dad?" asked one Guardsman. "No. Did I vote for his dad? Also, no. Do I even like Eric Trump? Again, no. Frankly, he's a bit of a simpleton, and I'm playing it nice saying it like that. But I have to admit, he has one majorly sick pad and I, for one, am going to miss it a lot."

The National Guard unit had been staying at Trump's house for a period of no less than six months, for reasons that the unit's commander described as "just because." During this time period, members of the unit enjoyed unfettered access to the five bedroom, seven bathroom mansion and amenities such as a fully stocked professional chef's kitchen, a backyard pool and spa, and home theater with a 96 inch television.

"Eric does not cheap out on streaming services," a Guardsman said. "Of course you're going to have Netflix, Hulu and Disney+. That's a given anywhere. But the guy also has streaming services you and I have never heard of before. Like Puppetta--that's a streaming service that offers films and shows exclusively featuring puppets. Puppets! How wild is that?"

"Also, Tubi," the Guardsman added. "People sleep on Tubi, calling it an inferior streaming service and complaining about being forced having to sit through commercials. But you get some real hidden gems on there that you might not find on Netflix. Like last night, I watched a really good Finnish drama called Veri ja Puuro set during that country's civil war in 1918. It was really good. You ought to check it out."

Meanwhile, back as it relates to Eric Trump's unforced legal error in his testimony, Trump's invocation of the wrong amendment means that various admissions he made during the course of his deposition may come back to haunt him down the road.

"I could see real problems when he admitted that he used the entire proceeds of a Trump Foundation charity ball to purchase a fleet of Rolls Royce manufactured golf carts for the Trump Westchester club," one legal expert explained. "And when he talked about that time where he, his dad and his brother and sister all discussed valuing their New York tower for tax purposes as one might value an abandoned mussel factory in Southern Alabama. I could see that biting him in the end."

"But at least he'll have some peace and quiet at home again," he noted.

DETAILS AT ELEVEN

December 15, 2021

OFFS--This is the shit that gets passed around social media these days.

1. No, the economy does not equal the stock market, nor does the stock market equal the economy.
2. That said, even with the loss the Dow closed nearly 5,000 points higher than it ever did during Trump's presidency.
3. Also, a 139 point swing is pretty normal at today's stock market volumes.
4. So yes, it is "Joe Biden's economy." You're welcome.

December 9, 2021

BREAKING NEWS: World renown singer-songwriter Billy Joel questioned about Fox News tree blaze

Authorities in New York City say that they briefly questioned award-winning musical superstar William Martin Joel about his potential involvement in a Wednesday morning blaze of the Christmas tree in front of Fox NewsCorp's headquarters in Midtown Manhattan.

Police say they questioned the 72 year old Joel--a five time Grammy winning singer-songwriter known for his iconic stadium shows--for approximately four minutes and forty-nine seconds on Wednesday afternoon before ultimately clearing him of involvement.

They remained tight-lipped about the exact contents of what Joel told police, only describing it as a "rather bizarre, rambling screed in which he named dropped a long laundry list of dozens of various newsworthy events and figures of the second half of the 20th Century."

"It was all quite strange," one detective said. "At one point, he's talking about serious items like the desegregation of schools in Little Rock, the JFK assassination and protests in Tiananmen Square, and the next moment, he shifts to far more light hearted topics like California baseball and the Coke and Pepsi 'cola wars.'"

Despite police finding Joel's statement completely baffling at times, they nonetheless described it as "extremely catchy," and noted that upon its conclusion, several detectives in the interview room stood up and cheered and requested an encore.

Ultimately, Joel was cleared of culpability when it was determined that at the time of the fire, Joel was uptown visiting a female companion and therefore couldn't have committed the arson. The exact name of the woman was not released, but it was said she was someone who was "living in her white bread world" and that she was seeking out a "downtown man."

DETAILS AT ELEVEN.

November 12, 2021

Our Waldo Moment (1 of 2)

These past couple of weeks, I've been watching the television series Black Mirror for the first time. So far I've made it through the first three seasons.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show's concept (as I was, until recently), Black Mirror is an anthology-styled show, with each episode essentially serving as a mini-movie.

There's a strong science fiction element to the show, with the overall theme centering on the human condition balanced against new advancements in technology. Episodes take place from anywhere from present day through certain unspecified times in the future.

And they are--on the whole--dystopic and rather emotionally taxing to watch. (Which is why I limited myself to one episode a day.) With one notable exception ("San Junipero," which is uncharacteristically sweet and heartfelt), episodes range from resembling unsettling fever dreams to, in at least one case for "White Bear," outright horrific nightmares. (Seriously though, "White Bear" has to be perhaps the most abjectly terrifying single hour of television I've ever seen, on multiple different levels.)

Of course, the benefit of binging a series that's already been around for a few years is that--so long as you can avoid spoilers--you can get a feel for the reception of the episodes. And as I moved through the series and read various fan comments, there seemed to be a certain consensus on which episode most fans considered to be the weakest of the offerings.

It was the 2013 episode "The Waldo Moment" from the second season.

With this sort of anti-hype preceding it, I naturally approached "The Waldo Moment" with rather low expectations. And honestly, I was rather glad to do so; "The Waldo Moment" immediately follows "White Bear," and after suffering low level PTSD from that episode, I figured it would be a moment of relative levity in comparison.

However, ironically it was "The Waldo Moment" that ultimately unsettled me more than any other episode of Black Mirror.

The thing is, I can understand how by 2013 standards "The Waldo Moment" might be considered a disappointment. It didn't rely heavily on new technology like many of the other episodes did. And its characters, including its lead, aren't very sympathetic.

However, what made "The Waldo Moment" stand out was ultimately how prophetic it would be several years down the road.

The basis for the "The Waldo Moment" is this (Warning: some spoilers ahead for those who might bother to care)

"Waldo" is a cartoon bear (voiced by the episode's lead character) featured in a segment in a British comedy sketch show. His humor is rather basic and vulgar, typically lodged against politicians and other public figures. However, he's well-received and the show's producers consider giving Waldo a show of his own. And to build publicity for the new Waldo show, the producers come up with a rather unorthodox idea: Have Waldo enter the race for a local parliamentary election, where he could troll (via a video and sound truck) the candidates with his insults.

Initially, the main target of Waldo's insults is the stiff, humorless Tory candidate (the favorite in the race.) However, after the voice actor has a brief romantic fling with the underdog Labour candidate but then is subsequently rebuffed by her, Waldo turns his ire towards her as well.

Of course, at first nobody expects Waldo to win, but the public begins to be won over by Waldo's anti-political, anti-establishment and overall cynical and nihilistic take on politics and government. His "humor" is not actually funny, but rather simply a collection of dick and fart jokes shouted over the tops of the voices of the other candidates, essentially drowning out legitimate discussion and discourse.

Soon, a considerable public movement grows behind Waldo, who view the acerbic Waldo as a refreshing alternative to tired politics as usual. Eventually, even his voice actor grows disillusioned by his character and he starts telling the public not to vote for Waldo, but it's too late; the producers strip him of his voice and commandeer Waldo for themselves, whose instructions to the public grow concerningly more violent and destructive in nature. And while the dystopic nature of the show doesn't really reveal itself until the post-credits scene, the entire episode seems to revel in cynicism and crude anti-humor, and the public's willingness to buy into that type message.

(Continued below; got 403 error and couldn't post entire message in one post)

October 21, 2021

"Sir, your allotted two minutes at this school board meeting is almost up."

September 7, 2021

The groundbreaking nature of Michael K. Williams' character of Omar Little from The Wire.

Needless to say, one look at my screen name and you will know I am a huge fan of the HBO drama series, The Wire.

In fact, along with the 2019 Chernobyl miniseries (another HBO product), I consider it the finest piece of television art I have ever seen, even surpassing the also-exemplary Breaking Bad and The Sopranos drama series.

What made The Wire so unparalleled amongst its peers was that it managed to both create hyper-realistic dialogue brought to life by the actors and screenwriters without an ounce of overwrought melodrama, and still have an air of timeless epic nature about it that evoked literary classic giants such as Shakespeare, Dickens and Balzac.

Front and center to The Wire epic nature was its creation of larger-than-life characters of an almost mythical nature, yet thrust into a very realistic and natural setting. Brother Mazoune. Stringer Bell. Senator Clay Davis. The Barksdales. The Greek.

But ask any fan of The Wire which character left the most indelible mark of them all, you'd be hard pressed to find any better answer than Michael K. Williams' unforgettable portrayal of Omar Little.

Williams played Omar as if transposed straight from a Spaghetti Western onto to the streets of inner city Baltimore. Wearing a long black trench coat and waving a shotgun, his presence in the neighborhood would be announced with frantic cries of "Omar's comin'!," and you would automatically know that whatever was about to unfold, it was not going to be good. And in the end, when all was said and done, you'd often hear Omar whistling "A Hunting We Will Go."

In short, he was quite possibly the greatest bad ass of television bad asses that there was.

However, what was also so epic about Omar was that despite his undeniable bad-assery, his character also epitomized the "bad guy with a code"--a type of anti-hero who despite being a party to some rather horrific actions, still lived within his own set of self-regulating morals. He was an armed robber who shot and killed people for cash, but only targeted the ill-gotten gains of drug dealers, not innocent civilians. He viewed his work as "the game," and lived and ultimately died by that game. And in a television show so uninhibited by language or violent content (one five minute scene famously features the two lead police detectives investigating a crime scene uttering only variations of the word "fuck" ), Omar himself never swore. Probably because he didn't need to, and making him use foul language would just be superfluous.

But one other aspect about Omar's character probably had the most impact on me more than anything else.

Omar Little, perhaps the greatest badass in all of television history, was also gay. But it was how his orientation was portrayed on screen that made it such an impact for the times.

I would not say that I was ever homophobic growing up. I can't say I ever thought people who were gay were any less of a human than myself. But, as a straight male growing up in a smaller semi-rural community, I just didn't have much personal interaction with anyone who was openly gay. I knew very few gay people personally. And therefore, my main experience with gay people was how they were portrayed in the media, like television and the movies.

And growing up in the 90s and early 00s, most of the gay male characters in television and the movies fell into one of two categories.

The first category was to play them strictly for laughs in a comedic as catty, feminized queens, typically sharp tongued and sarcastic with an over-obsession about fashion or other superfluous materialistic subjects. It was a very tight box in which to place people in with very limited ability to transcend that role. At their very best, they might be shown as a supporting friend to a straight female lead character, and nothing more.

The second category was less stereotypical, but just as constraining. Basically these type of gay characters were shown sympathetically, but almost over-beholden and overwhelmed by their own sexual orientation. And so their entire on-screen portrayal becomes a sad lament of the difficulties and struggles of a person tragically unable to escape society's biases and prejudices against gay people and everything that is associated with that. Think--for example--Tom Hanks' portrayal in Philadelphia, which as great as it was, didn't really go beyond the lead character's predicament when dealing with his overall identity.

Then Omar Little came along, and he pretty much shattered these pre-existing media characterizations of gay males on screen.

Here was the prototypical bad-ass, hyper-masculine who just happened to be gay. No overdone lisp or desire to break into drag or other trappings of how gay males were portrayed, no inner turmoil about his own orientation--the matter-of-factness of how his sexual orientation was portrayed was both refreshing and groundbreaking in how it guided the greater public's perception of gays and more accepting and open attitude that followed.

And while the shift towards mainstream acceptance of the gay community by the heterosexual community that took place from the late 00s to early 10s culminated by moments like marriage equality certainly couldn't be attributed solely to Omar Little, William's portrayal of that character was nonetheless a watershed moment for straight people like myself who just didn't have much exposure to gay people in general. And strange as it seems, it helped progress people's mindsets for the better in that way.

I was a huge fan of Michael K. Williams' work, not just in The Wire, but in other shows such as Boardwalk Empire as well. He had all the makings of someone who rose to prominence later in his life but could very well have continued to play great roles well into his senior years. He was taken from us far too soon.

However, his performance as Omar Little from The Wire is one that I think speaks far beyond just its importance to television but our overall society as well.

July 23, 2021

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News takes clear, unequivocal stance on vaccines.

As the nation faces a recent surge of new Covid-19 cases brought on by the Delta variant of the virus, several prominent figures on the Fox News network have stepped forward to make strong statements on vaccinations for the disease for their audience, a significant part of which has been described as being vaccine hesitant.

"I cannot be any more clear about this," Fox and Friends' host Brian Kilmeade said on his morning program. "At no point, during all times, nobody should never not always be thinking about never abstaining from not getting the vaccine."

"Don't not wait until it's too soon," Kilmeade's co-host Steve Doocy added.

Other Fox personalities were quick to echo this unambiguous sentiment.

"What is the risk of a person contracting a serious case of this virus versus the risk of any sort of side effects one might suffer from its vaccine?" Fox anchor Bret Bair asked his audience. "It's very obvious that the answer to this important question involves numbers."

"It's maybe very important to think about definitely possibly considering whether or not to weigh the options of immediately desiring to get vaccinated as soon as possible at some unspecified point in the distant future, perhaps today or some point thereafter," primetime host Sean Hannity told viewers.

The network's message on vaccines did not evade Fox's most popular host, either.

"Should you get the Covid vaccine?" host Tucker Carlson asked on his show. "The answer to that question should be very clear, and it's that our kindergarteners are being brainwashed into hating Mr. Potatohead by woke socialist teachers unions using Critical Race Theory!"

Details at Eleven.