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Member since: Mon Apr 24, 2006, 06:56 PM
Number of posts: 2,592

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Itís better to have loved and lost

than never to have loved at all.

...or so they say.

Today Iím not so sure that this is true. If I had not totally given my heart to my beloved husband, my heart would not be utterly shattered by his loss. I donít know if I can ever be happy again. I donít know how to stop missing him so fiercely. How do people cope after losing half their heart? Sometimes I start crying and it feels like I can never stop. I am not suicidal (I could not do that to my children and grandchildren), but I understand the widows in India who climb onto the pyres and burn with their dead husbands. I canít envision my future without him in it. How can I open to a future that I canít see? Right now I canít see past this broken moment.

Itís Christmas day, and it has been exactly four months today since my sweet husband, best friend, and soulmate died. I am so incredibly sad.
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