Why the hell did you do it???

Only 19 and your life is over. Your best years are behind you, and there's nothing good to come, ever, for you.

You'll never have a date, much less a girlfriend or a wife and family.

Never go to the beach or a park or take a bike ride. Never go on vacation or even to a movie. You'll never pet a dog or go to a birthday party. Never spend an evening with friends, or even see a friend's home.

Never sleep in your own bed again. Never drive a car. Never choose what to wear or what restaurant to go to.

The brother you adore, who was always in your life, is dead and gone forever, and he is universally despised. You will never see him again.

You have no future. Just an endless grief.

Did any of this cross your mind for even a split second before you dropped that bag? Did you really believe you would never get caught?

Did it accomplish what you wanted? What was it you wanted anyway? Why on earth did you make this choice and, knowing what you know now, would you do it again? What the hell were you thinking, man, and was any of it worth it?