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Member since: Thu Dec 22, 2005, 10:00 AM
Number of posts: 5,252

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I like that Scuba. Gonna use it
Posted by WhaTHellsgoingonhere | Sun Nov 30, 2014, 06:44 PM (0 replies)

I LIKE this topic a lot!!!!

Two come to mind

I. Freedom of Assembly, I feel like I've given it up to some extent

Hear me out. I have participated in protests here in Chicago, most recently with HCAN, with SEIU, with teacher unions, against NATO, against the banksters, against corporate tax dodgers. Have posted several pictures here. The NATO demonstration was exceptional, so I'll just talk about the others.

For each of the others, I was (1) unemployed, and (2) the demonstrations, with one exception, didn't inconvenience anyone. That exception being a march right into Wells Fargo bank in downtown Chicago and filling it up to it's gills with demonstrators holding signs. That was pretty cool But aside from that, we were invisible. The police told us where to march and we stayed out of everyone's way.

So what makes me feel like I've given up my right to assemble? Employment. I'm afraid of missing work. I'm afraid of getting arrested. For the most part, I've believed the demonstrations are too regulated to be effective. I just makes me feel like we've given up too much.

II. Right to Privacy

I want to use the phone, computer, credit cards, social media, etc.. I pretty much willfully and knowingly signed my life away. I assume using DU means we've all knowingly given up our privacy whether we like it or not.

Posted by WhaTHellsgoingonhere | Sun Nov 30, 2014, 06:36 PM (1 replies)

Sexism, intellectual laziness, giddy gah gah, and sweetheart

Many responses to my "Women are Sexist Pigs" thread from the other night fall under intellectual laziness. It's pretty clear that I understand the historical context, loyalsister. That you missed it is just lazy. People came to that thread with pre-fab responses. Minds already made up and loaded for bear.

So many of the intellectually lazy, loyalsister, got stuck on, "giddy gah gah" and "swooning". None of you cared about what one of the women said about the way they behaved, i.e., the gah gah.

I left soon after and almost immediately received a text from D who said she was sorry she made me feel uncomfortable and it was totally hypocritical of her and she won't do it again. She went on and said I was totally right, if it was reversed (5 men talking about a hot female coworker), each one of them would be freaking out.

So, based on her words, it was a big deal from the point of view of a woman.

Not a hostile environment. I couldn't wait for them to slip up! We are a tight group. They love me and I them. But because of the historical context, I have to be careful, moreso than them. You should have noticed, loyalsister. Lazy...

re: sweetheart
I was explaining this when I got locked out of the thread so it never got posted. "Sweetheart" is kind of a big deal in my field. The women work with older men who call them "Sweetheart" and "Sweetie". My coworkers are to correct them each time, saying something like, "My name is Kathleen, please address me by my name."

Other words on the no-no list:

Crazy: I can't believe that. That's totally crazy. (FAIL)
Nuts: You cannot be serious. That guy drives me nuts! (FAIL)

Sweetheart isn't really part of my vernacular, but I've been saying "crazy" and "nuts" for longer than they've been alive.
Posted by WhaTHellsgoingonhere | Tue Nov 25, 2014, 09:50 PM (15 replies)

Ooops! Turns out women are (sexist) pigs, too. And they're completely blind to it.

I'm a 48 y/o straight, single man and currently employed as a social worker, a heavily female dominated field. The team I work on consists of 5 women between age 21 and 33, and myself. I was recently at a department party and out of about 20-25 people, 4 were men.

Being an old guy, I believe demographics matter, and to the point of this thread, gender. I can only speculate - youth and inexperience? idealism? post-sexist generation? - I've been lectured by the 20 y/o's about how it's wrong to reinforce gender role concepts such as one I had put forth: "Hey, you know, I need to talk to him about this. It's different coming from a man." The response to that was, in so many words, "It shouldn't be different and you shouldn't reinforce this."

So I've been doing my best to respect their point of view and have done a very good job. Once, I said something I didn't realize was sexist, but they helped me understand why it was. I thanked them for helping me understand. Then Thursday, in an attempt to boost my coworker's morale (we all rallied around her) after a bad experience with a client, I texted (we are community outreach and work independently) something regrettable: "That's bullshit, C, we all know you're a sweetheart."

Sweatheart, I texted, YIKES!

Everyone let it go, but after about 5 minutes passed, I realized what I had done and was mortified. I texted an apology to everyone at that point, stating I can do better. I then apologized to her face-to-face when we got back to the office.

So that covers me, but this thread isn't about me. It's about women, they're sexist pigs, they don't know it, in fact they're blind to it, and when you point it out, meh...they really don't care.

So long, long ago, before the lecture I mentioned above about gender roles and whatnot, on about 3 occasions, the staff meeting got derailed by a conversation about different, very hot male staff in other offices. Each time it happened, I chuckled inside. Finally, after the 3rd occasion, I turned to the woman next to me and whispered, "You guys get away with a lot!" She replied, "Like what?" I returned, "When it happens, I'll nudge you."

Every single one of them was in on it, the team supervisor, nurse (6th woman), and young post-sexist generation women, alike. There's two really, sexist pig aspects to this, one I'll address later. For now, I want to inform you just how "bad" (i.e., pig like) all of these women are. Every single one of them lives with their husband, fiance, or long-time boyfriend. All of them! I'm trying to come up with a scenario in which married (or other) women would not have that visceral "My husband/boyfriend is always looking at other women and it hurts me!" reaction. I cannot.

Those staff meetings occurred literally months ago. Fast forward to Friday, the very day after my regrettable "sweetheart" text.

So Friday rolls along and one of them cracked out of turn, then the dam broke. Unbeknownst to me, one of the women had a private meeting with the team heartthrob. On the group text in which I was included, there was a barrage of giddy gah gah over him and his interaction with one of the post-sexist generation women (D, the lecturer). The supervisor was deep in the muck, too.


So I butted in with this text:

"Oh boy, glad I'm the only male on the team and not one of 5 men talking about a hot female coworker in front of the lone woman on the team."

Oh, they carried on as if I wasn't even there. In fact, only one woman, C (the sweetheart from the previous day) replied directly to me immediately: "It's nice that we can objectify men just the same!"

An hour or two later, I got back to the office and walked right back into the middle of this ongoing swooning. D, the 21 y/o post-sexist generation lecturer was right in it but blushing because she knew she got caught. She also noticed I was taken aback. She scrambled and said, "We love you, M".

I left soon after and almost immediately received a text from D who said she was sorry she made me feel uncomfortable and it was totally hypocritical of her and she won't do it again. She went on and said I was totally right, if it was reversed (5 men talking about a hot female coworker), each one of them would be freaking out.

Since it happened 3 times months ago, and continued after I sent out my "Gotcha!" text, I'm not going to give D the benefit of the doubt in that she had any intention of apologizing to me. The apology came only after she saw my stunned face and WTF expression.

Ladies, don't you hate it when that happens?
Posted by WhaTHellsgoingonhere | Sun Nov 23, 2014, 04:52 PM (45 replies)
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