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Gender: Do not display
Current location: TN
Member since: Fri Aug 19, 2005, 09:23 AM
Number of posts: 14,258

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I hated being pregnant.

Pregnancy hated me back. I never once felt beautiful during the entire thing, and the remnants of the damage to my body are still there. Even though I ate sensibly, I gained so much weight that I looked obese. I held water like crazy. Couldn't see my knees or ankles. When I asked my doc for help, he actually told me that I was obese and it had nothing to do with my pregnancy. He didn't seem to notice that I weighed 105 pounds before getting pregnant, but he was pretty shocked when I lost 45 pounds after delivery. Suddenly my knees and ankles were visible, while I was still in the hospital, and he agreed that I was not obese. We lived so far out in the sticks that we didn't have the option of changing docs.

I had preeclampsia and cephalopelvic disproportion with the first one that damn near killed us both. They did a c-section, but had trouble getting my blood pressure down enough to make surgery safe. Then they had trouble getting the baby to breathe. I was fine during my appointment at 4:30pm, but by 10:00pm, I was in trouble. They were so busy that night that no one even informed my husband of our condition until 6:00am, by which time he was sure we had both died. The baby was born at around 2:00am, so I don't even know what happened between then and 6:00am. I do know that when I woke up, I felt like my guts had been torn out. Then they wanted me to turn over, which was excruciating.

The doc for the second pregnancy took more precautions and put me on bed rest almost from the beginning. I was fortunate that I could stay home and it didn't impact us financially. How much different it is for women who cannot take that much time off work! I still gained a lot of weight, but not as much, and they took the baby, another c-section, early to avoid complications. Then he told me that if I got pregnant again, it would kill me.

Yet, I wanted my kids and would do it again. I wouldn't do it a third time and I surely wouldn't do it if the pregnancy was the result of rape or incest. These rightwing blowhards, in any case, would have me leave my children motherless rather than have me exercise my choice. How is that pro-life?

Who the fuck do these people think they are to treat pregnancy like a few months of inconvenience and discomfort? I've said this before and will say it again: Childbirth is inherently dangerous. You don't know ahead of time who will do well and who will not. Plenty of otherwise healthy women die of eclampsia after apparent safe deliveries. I had a mother-in-law who popped out babies at home and went for tea afterwards. We are not all so fortunate.

For me, sentencing women to 9 months or more of what can truly be hell for some, putting their lives at risk, and scarring their bodies and psyches for no good reason, is inhumane. Add that to the anguish of whether to keep the baby or put it up for adoption, worries about taking care of it financially, and all the other burdens that Republicans are happy to tell them to "pull themselves up by the bootstraps" in order to survive. As we all know, the baby is no longer of political use once it is born, so it's ok to deny food, shelter, and healthcare at that point. And the "deadbeat" moms who had no choice need to "get educated and find a better job." My favorite one is that they need to "keep their legs closed." SMDH

I am way past the age where it affects me. My daughters are nearing that age. Yet, I am worried and scared to death about the future of our daughters who will not be able to make decisions about their own bodies.

That's all I have to say. Thanks for listening.

I wish that every elected Congress critter

was required to spend a minimum of 6 months:

1) Making minimum wage, preferably in a job that they would find distasteful.
2) Having to find their own health insurance and pay for it out of pocket.
3) With a new baby in the house and no paid family leave.
4) With a sick relative in the house, and no paid family leave.
5) With a chronic illness requiring a certain amount of leave, and no paid leave.
6) In a housing situation where one missed or late payment would leave them homeless.

This list is not exhaustive, of course.

Prior experience does not count. It's too easy to forget how hard it was. I know what it was like to live in poverty. Experiencing it again, now, would leave the fresh taste our lawmakers need to have in their mouths. Unfortunately, some people become less empathetic after emerging from poverty, with the attitude that they did it themselves, it wasn't so bad, etc. That's why it needs to be experienced now by the people deciding how the rest of us are going to make it.

I know it's unreasonable. But so is denying legislation to help people who have to live in those conditions for the foreseeable future.

I guess I'm just getting impatient with the "sausage making" and the lack of urgency displayed by all Republicans and a few Democrats.

This just occurred to me.

Every breath Congress makes regarding BBB is reported on. This is in, this is out, Manchin, Sinema, ad nauseam.

Then we complain that our infighting is what cost us VA.

We hear nothing from Garland because, well, it's all secret.

Then we complain that him doing nothing is what cost us VA. We don't know that he's doing nothing. We just don't see results yet.

Just an observation. I really don't think either of those things make a difference to the average voter. I don't have any answers.

Update on my pension ....

They messed up last month:

It took them until the 18th to finally get the money into my account. Itís due on the 1st. There is no pending transaction, either in my bank or my pension account to give me any hope that it will be there in the morning. So Iíll be spending the next two weeks starting tomorrow morning trying to chase it down. And every month, I suppose. Iím wondering if theyíre trying to kill me with stress.


I just called. They said that it will be going in today but I might not see it until Wednesday because there's quite a long process to bringing people back from the dead. This guy was shocked that there was no effort to get in touch with me or my husband. No snail mail, nothing to notify anyone that they had declared me dead. Yes, they know about him. He had to sign papers and get them notarized. It's not showing up on my pension account because that also takes time to reinstate. It only took minutes to kill me, but apparently it takes over a month to get things back to how they're supposed to be.

We'll see how it looks a little later. Trying not to let the stress kill me. Thanks for listening.

Ever do a bunch of stuff, listening to music or a book,

really getting into it, and then sit down and you're so beat you can't get up again?

That's me right now. Got a lot done, but I seem to have drained the last bit of my energy.

Can someone please get me a glass of wine?

Thread for Siwsan

She has brought so much joy into this group and our lives with her cat posts over the years.

I remember her Sophie posts from way back, when our Sophie was still alive.

Now to suffer two losses in a day is just too much, and not a fitting reward for her loving care of them. I'm sitting here bawling over cats I only met over the internet. Yet, they touched my heart and I know they did many others.

Thank you, Siwsan, for all you do for the animals. If I could make the pain go away, I would. Take comfort in the fact that they had wonderful lives with you and you gave all you could.

I got my third Pfizer vax this morning.

I feel nothing so far, not even a sore arm.

Of course, I've been running on so much adrenaline, trying to get my IBM pension back after some nitwit there declared me dead last week, that I'm not sure I'd notice any side-effects from the vaccination. Could be I'll just conk out from exhaustion when I hit the pillow tonight.

Happy to have joined the booster club!

Edit: Wow, I just noticed there was a response that had to be removed. Are the trolls really so pathetic that they don't want us to celebrate getting protected?

Update on my friend from High School.

From https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215871193

She's been out of the hospital for about a week now. Tired, but apparently doing well enough.

There is a huge memorial service, viewing, funeral, the works, planned for her husband. The kids set up a webpage where you can RSVP and also donate towards the cost of the funeral. No mention of the huge medical bills they've accumulated, but maybe she just hasn't seen them yet. No request to wear masks or do any social distancing. Just donate and show up. Sort of like a per-plate dinner, I guess.

She sent out an email a few days ago to let people know about the webpage and say that she was in the hospital with pneumonia, but got oxygen and steroids and is all better now. She had posted earlier on her husband's FB page. Apparently, he died from fatigue. Well, except that he didn't "die." He "had an early home-going," according to many of the comments.

Seems as if their son actually is the only one in the crowd acknowledging that they both had Covid. I'm beside myself, not knowing what to do. I still haven't sent her a card or anything. I'm afraid it would say something mean, like "He didn't have to die!" or "Why aren't you using this opportunity to raise awareness of how serious Covid is and get a fucking vaccination???!!" or "I thought you were one of the smart kids in school! How did you let religion rot your brain so badly?" and, finally, "How can you be scheduling back-to-back super-spreader events with people who clearly don't get it? Do you want to make more widows?" You get the idea. Better for her to be hurt that I didn't say or do anything yet than to feel my ire at a difficult time .. or is it really that difficult if he simply "went home?"

I was going to send her a nice wind chime, as I'd read that are good bereavement gifts. But I'm still just finding myself so angry. Hurt, disappointed in dozens of ways, shocked, etc. I don't feel like comforting her, which also feels mean. She has always been so nice, cheerful, friendly, and not in-your-face religious. But I fear she is with the dark side and I just didn't see it.

So I'm just venting here. Thanks for letting me.

Stay safe, everyone.

I started collecting my pension this month.

Well, sort of. I saw it go into my account as "pending" on Friday. Figured it was fine. I had all my ducks in a row and verified more than once before the first of the month arrived. Thought everything was ok, since I was told that the first one wouldn't actually go in until the 4th.

I was busy on Monday. But on Tuesday, I had a few minutes to spare and decided to balance my checking account. That's when I noticed. Yeah, it went from "pending" to "credit" on Monday and IMMEDIATELY another transaction, a "debit" for that amount. Basically, they took it back.

So I called to find out what happened. I'd been reported as deceased! Social Security knows I'm alive. Why didn't they check with them? I've been trying all week to get it straightened out. They agree that I am alive, but no one seems to know how to put the money back or when it will be there.

Is there a government agency I can call? It's my money, it's there, and they agree that I'm not dead. But how do I get it back?


Anyone else notice slow packages, no matter who is delivering them?

Yes, we expect the USPS to be slow now that DeJoy has lit a bomb under the entire thing.

You'd think it would be a great opportunity for the "F..." and "U..." companies to step up and say, "Hey, come to us! We will deliver faster and better!"

Well, the "F..." in our area could not suck more. They don't maintain their trucks, which means I have multiple oil spots on my driveway. Yes, I have complained and, yes, something will be done if I live long enough. Meanwhile, they fixed the truck temporarily and it's leaking oil again. Know who had to be the one to tell them? You got it! Me! Why are they not going through regular inspections?

So now that they know their truck is leaking, my packages are delayed. Their plan "B" is not reliable. It usually is for another truck to bring my packages or, in at least one case, an employee to deliver using a personal vehicle on his way home. And then, only because I told them that the package is perishable and they will pay for it if it's spoiled. As retaliation once, they left my package in a flower garden leaning up against my mailbox, about 600 feet away from the house. Only once, because I complained, and it was fortunately not a heavy package. That driver is still working.

"U..." is better for now. Their trucks do not leak. But the package I was supposed to get yesterday and has been a 35-minute drive away since yesterday morning won't be here until Monday. No reason. Not at all. Oh, and the driver is very, very nice. But he apparently can't read. I have a floor mat with a big red sign on the wall saying, "Please deliver packages here." And he walks right past it and puts them on my furniture.

It took me quite a while and lots of complaints to get both of them to put stuff on the covered porch, which they drive right past to get to the uncovered, frequently wet porch.

They used to be very reliable. Is it just a coincidence? Is it just this area?


By the way, only one USPS package was delivered late in the past several weeks, and that was because there was roadside mowing or something such that vehicles couldn't get past. Totally not the fault of USPS.

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