More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Who Needs Halloween? Edition

Vampires, ghouls, ghosts, mummies, zombies...none of those fantastic monsters compare to the real monsters do they? Vampires like immigrant hating Canadian immigrant Ted Cruz, who wants to suck the blood out of the economy. At least Dracula is under no illusions that sucking out your blood is good for you. And when you have a pumpkin-headed would-be tyrant who makes Samhain look like a piker...the Lord of Halloween never called Nazis “good people” to my knowledge.

Worse, none of them are going to go away after November 1st. Though hopefully some will be exorcised on November 6th. So to remind you what we're all voting against, time for the thirty-fifth look into the cognitive dissonance of those who think the vampire and pumpkin head are doing a great job.

Updates:

(Sigh) And more for this one...

* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Office: John Conyers, John Edwards, Al Franken, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Joe Barton, Larry Craig, Joe Fain (New), Will Gardner, Newt Gingrich, Eric Greitens, Jim Jordan, Brett Kavanaugh (New), Nathan Larson, Rush Limbaugh, Vance McAllister, Roy Moore, Bill O'Reilly, Mark Sanford, Clarence Thomas, Donald Trump, and David Vitter (#32, Feb. 2018)

Of course this judgment goes double if you're a female Republican Senator with a reputation as a "moderate"

* A senator's salary of $175,000 means they're "struggling", because they can't afford to buy a second home. (#4, April 2011)

Aw, maybe that's another reason Creepy Ted should be voted out of office--he can become a lobbyist and earn "real" money instead of continuing to "struggle" along...

All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:

Speaking of Canada Cruz...
* The party of Donald Trump has the moral authority to use anyone else's past deeds as a campaign issue. Because being in a rock band = bad, being a creepy sociopath with no real friends = good.

And Lyin' Ted isn't the only one claiming poverty...
* You oppose increasing the minimum wage while complaining that your Congressional salary of $174,000 a year is not enough to make ends meet.

* Kneeling to protest police brutality is not a valid form of protest. Ruining your own socks is.

* You lie constantly but think you can accuse anyone else in the world of having "credibility problems".

* "It is a moral requirement to make money when you can".

* Sharnado is a documentary.

* The 3000 Hurricane Maria victims in Puerto Rico were actually beaten to death by their spouses.

* Sexual assault is "frivolous". (But only when a Republican does it)

* You've loudly bragged on tape about proudly sexually assaulting women and think you can call anyone else a "low life".

* You hire Rudy Guiliani and convicted criminal Micheal Cohen and think you can call anyone elses lawyer "third rate".

* You believe in "strong family values", and support the appointment of an alledged rapist to the Supreme Court by an admitted sexual predator.

* Donald Trump has never had a glass of alcohol in his life.

* Proper Judicial Temperment: Making a loud,angry, misogynist, conspiratorial partisan rant at your confirmation hearings.

* Racism makes you exempt from taxes.

* You think the Democrats are angry, unhinged, and dangerous while you're part of a mob chanting that politicians you don't like should be locked up solely because you don't like them.

* You accuse a political opponent of potentially shutting down the government as a partisan political stunt after you yourself once shut down the government as a partisan political stunt.

* It's bad when people actually vote.

* Senator Kamala Harris is a murder suspect

Which, being Fox News, shouldn't be a surprise. As I reminded you back in July 2015 (#19) they tried to tell us that * Mark Foley, Tom Delay, and Dennis Hastert were Democrats.

* Jews are committing anti-Semitic hate crimes against themselves

* Democrats sent themselves letter bombs just to make Donald "Lock 'Er Up" and "Enemies of the People" Trump look bad

* It is disgusting that billionaires such as George Soros, Micheal Bloomberg, and Tom Steyer are trying to "buy elections."--buying elections is the exclusive right of billionaires such as the Koch Brothers, the Mercer Family, Rupert Murdoch, and Sheldon Adelson.

* You're more concerned about desperate immigrants fleeing to America from countries you consider "shitholes" than right-wing terrorists sending letter bombs or shooting up synagogues