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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-14: Debbie Does The Deep State Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-14: Debbie Does The Deep State Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! 15 minutes with us can save an average of 15% or more on your car insurance! We are back everybody! So I want to talk about some music news to start with. First off – I can’t wait for the autobiography of Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And this is classic Peppers – his new autobiography is going to be titled “Acid For The Children”. And believe me, I bet Flea has some stories. And then there was Coachella. There were lots and lots of great things happening during the weekend. And some not as great. I love music as you know by the amount of bands and acts we’ve had on this show. And look in the age of “Me Too”, I might get some never ending shit for this, but do we really need pregnant women making sexy dance moves on stage? I’m looking at you, Cardi B. Yeah I think a whole lot of people were turned off by that. And can we talk about Cardi B for a minute? What is her appeal exactly? Her music is not that great, and she seems to be one of those “look at me” celebrities. Hey look at me, I’m 7 months pregnant and I can twerk on stage! Sorry but that ain’t sexy, Cardi. Some guys might get turned on by it. I mean shit, I’ve seen Porn Hub – there is some weird shit that gets posted on that site. But look as I’ve said before – this is a comedy show, not a horror movie. What? You can be pregnant and still be attractive! I look at it this way - there’s sexy and then there’s trying to be sexy, and Cardi B was trying to be sexy, and well, I would say don’t. Yes, I am ready to throw down on that sir. We’ve got 90 minutes here, I’ve got time to tangle! Yeah so I wasn’t exactly as impressed with Cardi B as some people are. OK enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to – but first John Oliver is back and he uses tax day to explain very plainly how corporate America’s greed is screwing you over big time:

Taking the first slot this week of course is the guy who we currently call “president” and that is Donald J. Trump (1). When your ratings are in the toilet, what’s a guy who is obsessed with ratings supposed to do? I know! Send missiles to another country! With love. At number 2 this week is also the guy we call “president”, Donald Trump. So Caligula is going out golfing again, but this week, across the street from Mar-A-Shithole, Stormy Daniels is taking her show to the nearest strip club. Taking the third slot this week is Michael Cohen (3). Holy shit this is too damn good – Cohen’s mystery 3rd client has been revealed and it is too good. In the fourth slot is Congress V. Zuckerberg (4). Yeah the testimony between Congress and Mark Zuckerberg over how Facebook uses your data against you was a category 5 shit storm and we will cover the highlights from that. Taking the 5th slot is an all new installment of “Top 10 Investigates” and this week we’re going to take a look at all the things going on during tax day 2018. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit, and this week – our resident pastor is going to talk about the possibility of whether or not demons exist. At number 7 is a new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and this week we’re going to profile right wing billionaire Phil Anschutz, the owner of the Coachella festival. At number 8 is the Alt Right. So Alex Jones went off the deep end, while the Alt Right held a march in Boston – in the middle of a Monday afternoon. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to get drunk and discuss a documentary movie called “The King Of Kongs”. Would you be surprised to learn that the subject of the movie got busted for cheating? Well, it cant be that surprising. Finally this week it’s the start of the Elite 8 for our Stupidest State competition! This week we’re live from the home of the San Jose Sharks – HP Pavilion in San Jose – and it’s the Gun Nut Conference championship! This week – who will bring their big guns to the dance? Florida? Or will it be last year’s Flyover League champions Montana? Plus we’ve got some live music for you from Bay Area punk legends NOFX! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

So in case you’re living under a rock – or probably hiding under a rock – you know by now that the guy who we currently call president, Donald J Trump, created a fiery show of epic proportions that easily eclipsed the one happening on Saturday night in Indio. Look we get it – Assad is the bad guy here, and what he did is completely inexcusable. But of course with the real president of the United States – Vladimir Putin – pulling the strings, here’s what we get.

As President Trump basks in widespread approval for the U.S.-led missile strike aimed at Syrian chemical weapons installations, the White House still faces a quandary over U.S. policy toward that country's civil war — as well as some sharp questions about the president's war powers.

Trump has yet to articulate a long-term U.S. strategy for dealing with the grinding, multi-sided war in Syria, which has lasted more than seven years, killed hundreds of thousands and triggered an epic refugee crisis.

Only days before the missile attack, Trump had called for a rapid U.S. troop withdrawal from Syria, which critics said would yield control of the country to Russia and Iran, key allies of Syrian President Bashar Assad. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) was among those who said that Trump's words had "emboldened" Assad to use chemical weapons.

Now, in a turnabout, Trump is promising to keep troops in Syria, according to France's president. Trump may also slap new sanctions on Russian companies, according to Nikki Haley, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Yeah so that happened. And come on it’s Donald Trump! Of course he’s going to declare it a success. But if this isn’t a grave misuse of presidential war powers I don’t know what is! So of course here’s where it all went south.

President Donald Trump declared "mission accomplished" on Saturday after the U.S.-led predawn airstrikes in Syria dealt what Pentagon officials called a "very serious blow" at "the heart of the Syrian chemical weapons program."

While Syrian television reported that the nation's air defenses had responded to the strikes, "none of our aircraft or missiles in this operation were successfully engaged" by President Bashar al-Assad's regime, said Lt. Gen. Kenneth McKenzie, the director of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

"The Syrian response was remarkably ineffective," he told reporters Saturday morning.

Gee, where I have heard that before? Oh I know! Only one of the biggest political fuckups in history!

Yeah so this is a case of “same shit, different year”. And once again a blunder that is probably going to get a whole lot of people killed is back in the news. And that might be a new one on the list of phrases future presidents should probably avoid.

If there was a new employee handbook for people who’d just obtained the position of “leader of the free world,” there would be some surefire entries in the section about presidential phrases to avoid:

“I am not a crook,” would be an easy add, for reasons both obvious and historical. So would “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

New hires would be discouraged from summing up economic policy stances with the phrase: “Read my lips. No new taxes.”

And then there is “Mission Accomplished”, the historically loaded phrase US President Donald Trump tweeted Saturday after US-led airstrikes in coordination with British and French forces that struck the “heart” of Syria’s chemical weapons network.

“A perfectly executed strike last night. Thank you to France and the United Kingdom for their wisdom and the power of their fine Military. Could not have had a better result. Mission Accomplished!” Trump tweeted.

A perfectly executed strike! Nobody has better missiles than I do. Assad is a stupid loser. So yeah that happened. And not only is he defending it, he’s doubling down!

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump on Sunday defended his use of the phrase “Mission Accomplished” to describe a U.S.-led missile attack on Syria’s chemical weapons program, even as his aides stressed continuing U.S. troop involvement and plans for new economic sanctions against Russia for enabling the government of Bashar Assad.

Stepping up the pressure on Syria’s president, U.S. Ambassador Nikki Haley indicated the sanctions to be announced Monday would be aimed at sending a message to Russia, which she said has blocked six attempts by the U.N. Security Council to make it easier to investigate the use of chemical weapons.

“Everyone is going to feel it at this point,” Haley said, warning of consequences for Assad’s foreign allies.
“The international community will not allow chemical weapons to come back into our everyday life,” she said. “The fact he was making this more normal and that Russia was covering this up, all that has got to stop.”

Trump tweeted Sunday that the strike was “perfectly carried out” and that “the only way the Fake News Media could demean was by my use of the term “Mission Accomplished.”” He added that he knew the media would “seize” on the phrase, but said it should be used often. “It is such a great Military term, it should be brought back,” he wrote.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Pop quiz hot shot! You’re the president of the United States and you just bombed the shit out of an Arab country! Where do you go to celebrate? Well if you’re Donald J Trump, you go to your favorite destination – Mar-A-Lago! For a few rounds of tax payer funded golf. By the way remember when Sean Hannity said this about presidents and golf?

Or when Trump said this?

But this week he’s going to have some unexpected company. That’s right – the strip club across the street from Mar-A-Shithole is going to be the home to a very special guest this week!

Stormy Daniels, who claims to have slept with a married President Donald Trump long before he successfully ran for the nation’s highest office, performed in a Florida burlesque show over the weekend—less than 5 miles away from the president’s famed "Winter White House," Mar-a-Lago.

Daniels, real name Stephanie Clifford, appeared at Ultra Gentleman’s Club in West Palm Beach, just a 10-minute drive from Trump’s estate and nestled right next door to Trump International Golf Club, The Palm Beach Post reported Sunday.

For Daniels, it was one of the many stops along her “Make America Horny Again” tour, an obvious reference to the president’s campaign mantra. She took the stage around 11:20 p.m., according to the Post, and was dressed like the superhero Wonder Woman.

Daniels was booked for the show in January, when reports about the $130,000 Daniels allegedly received from Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, began circulating. The club's manager, Stacy Saccal, said she was skeptical that Daniels's fame would last this long.

Really, Stacy? You’re surprised it would last this long? This is 2018 here, everyone is famous forever thanks to social media. I mean come on, Farrah Abraham is still famous because reasons. But I can’t wait for the porno of this one – “Make America Horny Again”. Or I may offer my own suggestion – “Debbie Does The Deep State”. Thank you! And we’ll get to Michael Cohen in a minute but even he’s feeling the effect of Stormy. Not in that way, sir!

Porn star Stormy Daniels turned a hotly anticipated court appearance by President Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen into a three-ring circus on Monday, creating a media frenzy when she rolled up to the hallowed hall of justice in black stiletto heels.

Meanwhile, inside the Manhattan federal courthouse, the Cohen case took another twist when a mystery client of his was revealed to be Fox News Channel personality Sean Hannity.

Cohen had been ordered to appear in court after his own lawyers last week struggled to explain why records obtained in government raids on his office, home and hotel room should be shielded by attorney-client privilege — repeatedly failing to name any of his clients apart from Trump.

But Daniels, best known before her claim of sleeping with Trump for such XXX movies as “Big Busted Goddesses of Las Vegas” and “The Witches of Breastwick,” easily upstaged the man-of-the-hour as she strutted through a throng of photographers and news cameras outside the Pearl Street courthouse.

Yeah great choice of music! Let’s get on the pony and ride! Whew!!!!! Is that really what we’ve reduced the presidency to – porn stars and golf? And come on, how can Trump be secluded? He’s still got his unsecured Android phone with him! Is this a polar vortex or a porno vortex? Hey o!!!

In the land of hanging chads and where the Cash Me Outside girl is a local celebrity, of course, a porn star and self-proclaimed former mistress of the president of the United States wouldn’t miss the opportunity for a drive-by burlesque show.

That it was within spitting distance of the Winter White House at Mar-a-Lago and the golf course that bears Donald Trump’s name, made Stormy Daniels’ stop on her “Make America Horny Again” tour a perfect fit in the bizarre news that regularly emanates out of Palm Beach County.

And so, as President Trump addressed the nation on U.S. bombs dropping on Syria on Friday, Stormy — her given name Stephanie Clifford — a few hours later solicited patrons at Ultra Gentlemen’s Club to slap dollars on her oiled-up body.

Well, among other things there is that. You know what? Can I hear some more Pony? Yeah that’s my shit! And by the way if you’re in Miami and you’re thinking of going to see Make America Horny Again, and why wouldn’t you? My advice would be to get there early, I bet Stormy has some good opening acts!

The porn star who claims to have had sexual relations with President Donald Trump is just hours away from taking center stage at at Ultra Gentlemen’s Club in suburban West Palm Beach.

This stage is where controversial adult entertainer and porn star Stormy Daniels is set to perform, just a few miles away from Mar-a-Lago and Trump International Golf Club.

The club’s general manager says Daniels’ show is expected to attract 1,200 people during her four performances Friday and Saturday night.

The 39-year-old last performed in West Palm Beach in 2006, the same year she claims she had a one-night affair with the President.

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[font size="8"]Michael Cohen
[br] [/font]

When your attorney is a crook, how are you going to get out of this mess? I mean you know your situation is fucked when your attorneys have their own attorneys. Last week I called this phenomenon “attorney-ception”. It’s a trial within a trial within a trial. Well this week the concept of that was taken to insane new levels.

Michael Cohen, longtime personal attorney for President Donald Trump, on Monday showed up at U.S. District Court in lower Manhattan after skipping an initial Friday hearing.

Cohen is asking Judge Kimba Wood to bar prosecutors from getting the first look at client files seized from him by the FBI last week. A lawyer for the president, Joanna Hendon, on Sunday filed a motion asking the judge to grant the president the privilege of reviewing the documents first.

The hearings follow the April 9 raids, in which federal agents seized materials from Cohen's office, home, hotel room and electronic devices.

Both Cohen and Trump argue that they should be allowed to decide which of the documents should be permanently withheld because they are protected by attorney-client privilege.

U.S. attorneys pushed back against Cohen's request in a filing Friday, saying that "Cohen is in fact performing little to no legal work," and alleging that "zero" emails were exchanged between Cohen and Trump. Their assessment was based on already conducted searches of Cohen's email accounts which had not been reported before the court filing.

Seriously! Now Trump’s lawyers are appearing with Trump’s porn stars! I mean is there anyone who they aren’t in bed with? Both literally and figuratively? Oh but here’s my favorite part – he’s complaining about privacy! Cue the world’s tiniest violin!

President Trump’s personal lawyer said he is worried about the confidentiality of roughly three clients since he branched off from the Trump Organization in 2017 — including the president and beleaguered RNC fundraiser Elliott Broidy.

Michael Cohen, who is under investigation by Manhattan federal prosecutors and the FBI, made the disclosures in a filing Monday morning as part of his bid to block the feds from reviewing documents that might be protected by attorney-client privilege.

On Friday, Broidy, a Trump fundraiser, stepped down from his Republican National Committee post after he admitted that Cohen arranged $1.6 million in hush money to a former Playboy model whom the donor had impregnated.

“It is unfortunate that this personal matter between two consenting adults is the subject of national discussion just because of Michael Cohen’s involvement,” Broidy said in a statement.

Cohen declined to name the third client, saying that person has requested his name not be made public.

Dude, seriously, Mr. Cohen, you work for the Donald Trump administration. Your privacy rights went bye bye when you signed up! But this week Cohen named 2 of his 3 ultra-prestigious clients – Donald J. Trump and GOP fundraiser Elliot Brody. Can anyone guess who the third is? Anyone? Well here’s who is behind door #3!

The legal battle over federal investigators' raids on President Donald Trump's personal lawyer Michael Cohen took an unexpected turn Monday as an attorney identified Fox News host Sean Hannity as one of Cohen's legal clients.

Cohen's attorneys had acknowledged publicly that he represented Trump and former Republican National Committee deputy finance chair Elliott Broidy in legal matters, but they had sought to avoid naming a third client. Under direct orders from a judge, Cohen's attorney Stephen Ryan named Hannity as the client in court on Monday.

The revelation came amid an extraordinary showdown between a sitting president and his own Justice Department over access to files seized in the raids on Cohen's home and office last week and over whether the materials are protected by attorney-client privilege. Hannity's connection to Cohen was revealed after the conservative commentator — one of Trump's staunchest defenders — fiercely criticized federal officials for the raids, without disclosing his own connection.

Even before the surprise disclosure about Hannity, the afternoon hearing before U.S. District Court Judge Kimba Wood was a spectacle. Cohen came under scrutiny after he acknowledged paying $130,000 to porn actress Stormy Daniels shortly before the 2016 election so she would keep quiet about an alleged sexual encounter with Trump. The Wall Street Journal reported last week that Cohen also negotiated a deal in 2017 to pay $1.6 million to a woman who said Broidy impregnated her.

Come on, even Larry David is playing you off, Sean! And yeah sure you can define “representation” all you want because that’s what the GOP does – they just make shit up as they go along! But hey I’m at least surprised that you found a real estate attorney who’s willing to give you advice for $10. That’s a bargain!

Sean Hannity used his radio program to deliver his first personal statement after being outed as the mysterious client Michael Cohen legally advised in 2017.

Cohen was trying to keep Hannity’s name off of public record during his court hearing today, but he was forced to identify his third client after the judge told him there wasn’t sufficient legal ground for the patron to retain his anonymity. When reporters reached out to Hannity before the start of his radio show, his initial response was “We have been friends a long time. I have sought legal advice from Michael.”

On Hannity’s radio show, he remarked how “very strange” it was to see the coverage from Fox News in light of the bombshell about their own anchor.

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[font size="8"]Facebook
[br] [/font]

Another thing that happened if you’re living under a rock – or hiding under a rock – is that Mark Zuckerberg went to Washington last week to testify about Facebook’s increasingly shady business practices. And well, he was met with less than appealing enthusiasm, and shocker – most of the insanity was coming from the right!

Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg took nearly 600 questions on Capitol Hill, giving a rare window into his views on some of the thorniest issues online.

What kinds of data does Facebook collect about its users? Who owns that data? What does Facebook do with it? And how does Facebook keep it safe and private?

Testifying about these issues in the Senate on April 10 and the House on April 11, Zuckerberg chose his words carefully, dodged or referred questions to his “team,” or gave only partial answers. The responses he did give were in some cases misleading because they lacked relevant information that could cast Facebook in an unflattering light.

We found some of the missing links. For this roundup, as is our custom, we won’t be awarding Pinocchios.

Yeah so Facebook you’ve got some ‘splainin to do! Especially you, Mark! Look at me! Ok, tell us what did Facebook do with all that data it collected? What are they using it for?

Facebook’s chief executive will confess that the company did not do enough to stop its tools for being used for harm, as he prepares to answer hard questions in his first ever appearance before Congress this week.

Mark Zuckerberg will say that advertisers and developers will never take priority over Facebook’s mission of “connecting people” as long as he is in charge of the social network, according to prepared testimony published by the House commerce committee.

The Facebook founder will say it made “mistakes” that allowed the leak of data of up to 87m users to Cambridge Analytica, the data analytics firm that worked for the Trump campaign. He will list the series of changes Facebook has made in the last three weeks since the revelations but admit there is “more to do”.

Mr Zuckerberg will also address concerns about Russian election interference on the platform. “We were too slow to spot and respond to Russian interference, and we’re working hard to get better,” he will say, adding that Facebook is working with the US government to understand the full extent of Russian influence in the 2016 election, while also trying to protect the integrity of elections around the world.

Are you fucking kidding me? A mistake? No! saying 2+2=5 is a mistake! Butt dialing your ex girlfriend is a mistake! Dropping an obvious fly ball during a tie game in the 9th inning is a mistake! This is a colossal fuckup that affects the whole damn planet! Well as if things weren’t going south enough already, it’s about to get worse. So much worse. Especially when Mr. Machine Gun Bacon gets involved.

But it turned out that all Cruz wanted to do was grind an old axe: his belief that Facebook has demonstrated a “pervasive pattern of political bias” in its monitoring and regulation of the content shared to its platform. He proceeded to rattle off a laundry list of examples: A “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” page that was banned in 2012, around the time that a number of Americans were protesting the fast-food chain after its chief operating officer made comments against same-sex marriage. Palmer Luckey, the virtual reality prodigy who parted ways with Facebooks after it was reported that he backed a pro-Trump conservative group that trafficked in anti-Hillary Clinton content. Diamond and Silk, the outspoken Trump fangirls who were reportedly told by Facebook this month that their “content and brand” were “unsafe to the community.”

“There are a great many Americans who I would say are deeply concerned that Facebook and other tech companies are engaged in a pervasive pattern of bias and political censorship,” Cruz said.

Zuckerberg conceded that Silicon Valley is “an extremely left-leaning place,” but denied Cruz’s insinuation that the bias had infiltrated the machinations of Facebook. When Cruz asked Zuckerberg if any members of the Facebook team tasked with monitoring users’ content had ever supported Republican political candidates, Zuckerberg said that he did not know.

Yeah really, all Ted Cruz seemed to care about was whether or not Trump fans Diamond & Silk were blocked from Facebook because they’re Trump supporters. Nah, Teddy, don’t you read the 100 page terms of service agreement when you signed up? No one does because that thing is the length of War & Peace, but Facebook can delete accounts at any time for any reason. But then there was this:

But according to Monday’s filing, Zuckerberg repeatedly admitted in his testimony that the Menlo Park, California-based company is “responsible for the content” on its platforms.

The filing also quoted Zuckerberg’s testimony that Facebook had a responsibility to ensure that its tools were “used for good,” and that “terrorist propaganda” qualified as “clearly bad activity” that should be reduced.

“What emerges from Zuckerberg’s testimony is a picture differing markedly from the one painted before the district court,” the filing said. “It is not simply a ‘hands off’ publisher of other people’s content.”

The plaintiffs are seeking a “summary” order voiding Garaufis’ dismissal immediately, and returning the case to him.

Facebook told Garaufis that content it hosts “is organic, and that Facebook is not responsible for it,” Robert Tolchin, a lawyer for the plaintiffs, said in a statement. “Confronted with overwhelming evidence and public pressure Zuckerberg has now been forced to admit what we have alleged all along.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Last Minute Taxes
[br] [/font]

Ed. Note: The original piece we had planned on low cost airlines has been postponed due to the Southwest incident. It will show up on a future edition. Now back to our regularly scheduled program!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is:

Taxes. You can get your taxes in two flavors. If you are expecting a handsome refund, you’re probably looking forward to all the new things you can buy, until your precious refund money runs out. But now this week, there are millions of do it yourself taxers who are scrambling to get theirs done before the midnight deadline on April 17th. So what happens if millions of Americans file their taxes all at once?

(Update: Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin told the Associated Press late Tuesday that online tax filers would get an extension from the IRS. Click here for details.)

Hours before the midnight Tax Day deadline, the IRS page for paying your tax bill using your bank account crashed.

The IRS "Direct Pay" page allows filers to transfer funds from their checking or savings account to pay what they owe. As of 4 p.m. ET on April 17 — Tax Day — the page was unavailable.

Direct Pay is a free service.

The "Payment Plan" page, where filers can pay their tax bill in installments also appears to have crashed.

Taxpayers tweeted their frustration on Tuesday morning.

That’s right – if I can’t hear you, it’s not illegal. So what happens then if you can’t get through to the servers? Well, unlike trying to buy concert tickets, you’re not shit out of luck. So with that out of the way, who is really benefitting from taxes? Well it’s not you!

Tuesday at midnight is the deadline for millions of Americans to file their taxes for 2017, the last year before sweeping changes to the U.S. tax code went into effect in January. So while American taxpayers are seeing news reports of better than expected earnings for big banks, thanks in part to lower corporate tax rates, most won’t see a tax cut of their own until they file their 2018 taxes in a year.

President Donald Trump signed the $1.5 trillion tax cut, the largest reorganization of the tax code in a generation, into law on December 22, 2017. The law gave tax breaks to individual and joint filers, including lower rates and a larger standard deduction, and also slashed the top corporate tax rate from 35 to 21 percent. Those new rates went into effect on January 1, 2018.

That change gives corporations, which typically pay their taxes every quarter, a more immediate indication of the tax law’s benefit than individual and joint filers, who usually pay their taxes at the end of the year. Both corporations and individuals are operating under the new tax regime in 2018, but the differences typical filing schedules make corporate benefits apparently early. (Some individuals, most notably freelancers who don’t receive W2s from an employer, also file quarterly.)

No, Homer, we’re not sure why we would need to deduct gambling losses in order to purchase a cheeseburger. Just remember that while you may be enjoying your refund money – your boss probably had to pay $0. But yes – even he filed for a tax extension. You know – the guy who so far has refused to disclose his tax and financial statements.

It’s true, many Americans do procrastinate on their taxes and file for an extension: FiveThirtyEight reported that about 13 million Americans asked for an extra six months to complete their tax forms in 2015. However, for what it’s worth, it appears President Obama was pretty good about filing his taxes by the April deadline.

Of course, there might be a few reasons Trump is late like so many of us. His business — which he has not fully divested from and which is the subject of an ongoing lawsuit from the state of Maryland and Washington, DC — is complicated, after all.

Maybe this will be the year that Trump finally releases his tax returns for the American people to see, as he neglected to do during the 2016 presidential campaign, and he wants to make sure they’re right.

Or, my favorite theory: This is a covert way to draw more attention to the Republican tax bill. The New York Times reported this week that “no one’s talking about the new tax law,” given the way news coverage has fallen off since the bill passed and Republicans have struggled to turn it into an effective campaign message.

So the guy who we currently call “president” has yet to release what he is currently worth on his tax returns. But who’s complaining about high taxes? What you need to know about who really is complaining:

On Capitol Hill, CNBC broadcast interviews with Republicans and Democrats live on scene. Republicans in the House also set up studios on Capitol Hill for camera crews behind a "House Republicans" backdrop, which they typically reserve for major events like the president's annual State of the Union address.

In addition to the TV hits, Republican released a slew of prepared media touting changes from the law, known as the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, or TCJA.

"On Tuesday, April 17, we Americans file our taxes — for the last time — under the old, broken tax code," wrote Republican Rep. and chief tax writer Kevin Brady in an op-ed for USA Today. "Yes, for the last time. Goodbye and good riddance to that outdated, monstrosity of a tax code that took too much of your money, sent our American jobs overseas, and kept our economy so slow many workers didn't see a pay raise for a decade or more."

President Donald Trump wrote an op-ed of his own that claimed the tax law was driving economic growth.

He has the best taxes, folks. Nobody has better taxes than he does. But no one does it better last minute than those who live in the US. After all, procrastination is what makes us #1! USA! USA! USA! So why are taxes such a big deal? Look at this from the 1930s and 1940s.

Before tax preparation software guided Americans through the process of filing tax returns before the Tax Day deadline — which falls on April 17 in 2018, though Tax Day is usually but not always April 15 — there were quacks like Donald Duck.

During World War II, the federal government needed an easily recognizable face to explain a process that was unrecognizable to many Americans at the time. As TIME previously reported, while the modern income tax was introduced in 1913, only the richest Americans paid it in the early years. That changed with the attack on Pearl Harbor, which prompted Congress to pass a new Revenue Act in 1942 to fund the U.S. war effort. The number of tax returns filed skyrocketed from 7.7 million in 1939 to 36.7 million in 1942, and about 50 million in 1945, according to the Tax Foundation, a tax-policy think tank.

So Treasury Secretary Henry Morgenthau tapped Walt Disney — who was already heavily involved in making films to boost the war effort — to crash-produce The New Spirit, a motivational film explaining income taxes to Americans in 1942.

That’s right – Disney is the key to the economy! There you have it folks. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So, my fair congregation – do DAYMONS exist? That is the question I have on the table for you this week, and one you should ponder long after you leave my church this week. And by the way how great is the Top 10 Gospel Choir? Give it up for them! Do DAYMONS exist? And in what capacity could they do some major damage to one’s soul? Well brother Alex has a theory about that!

Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist who publishes Infowars, claims that he never knowingly spreads false information. Last night, he told listeners that when he was a teenager he used to be courted by attractive women who attempted to convert him to Satanism and prevent him from starting Infowars.

During Infowars’ latest ongoing “emergency” live-stream marathon session, Jones claimed that attractive young women at his high school would pretend to want to date him in order to try to convince him to join a satanic cult. Jones claimed this happened multiple times.

“Every time I thought some hot 17-year-old, when I was like 13 or 14, really wanted to date me and I’d drive out to some big old mansion of theirs—and I mean real mansions, helicopter pads, private landing fields, you name it—God almighty, after the third or fourth time I had been with them, they’d tell me, ‘By the way, we worship this god and we want you to come to this event, we want you to engage in this activity because Lucifer is really God,’” Jones said.

He added, “They knew inter-dimensionally because believe me, they weren’t trying to get the average person to go do that. Everybody thought like, ‘Why are you dating the head cheerleader or the head senior when you’re a freshman in high school?’ Well, because she was driving me out there in her $100,000 Mercedes and that was 30-something years ago, driving me out there in her $100,000 Mercedes that’d be a $300,000 Maybach today, to try to get me into the cult.”

Brother Alex, what brand of covfefe are you smoking this week? Because it must be too much, or not enough, I don't know how that shit works! Because using it is a SIN!!!! And it is the most egregious of SINS!!!! And you must be cleansed of this wicked sin!!! And I can point to where it says in the good book. But let’s ask Sister Liz if DAYMONS exist!

Fringe right-wing conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin posted a video on YouTube last night in which she declared that a gruesome video showing Hillary Clinton cutting the face off of a living child exists and will soon be released for all the world to see.

“I know with absolute certainty that there is a tape that exists that involves Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child,” Crokin said. “I have gotten this confirmed from very respectable and high-level sources.”

Crokin said that reports that Russian-linked accounts posted a fake Clinton sex tape during the 2016 election are false, saying that no such fake video exists and that the stories about it are simply an effort to confuse the public “so when and if the actual video of Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child comes out, the seeds of doubt are already planted in people’s heads.”

“All I know is that, one hundred percent, a video of Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child exists,” she said. “I know there’s many videos incriminating her, I just don’t know which one they are going to release. But there are people, there are claims that this sexual abuse video is on the dark web and I know that some people have seen it, some in law enforcement, the NYPD law enforcement, some NYPD officers have seen it and it made them sick, it made them cry, it made them vomit, some of them had to seek psychological counseling after this.”

“I’m not going to go into too much detail because it’s so disgusting, but in this video, they cut off a child’s face as the child is alive,” Crokin claimed. “I’m just going to leave it at that.”

Holy shit!!!! You know a good rule for my fair congregation is never fall asleep while you’re watching reruns of Dexter. Because these are the kind of fucked up fantasies you will wake up with the next day! I mean because that is a SIN!!!! Can I get an amen??? But apparently an election of the wrong party will not only unleash demons, it will cast an hour of darkness upon us! Great Evil Dead sequel, by the way!

Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau participated in another Truth & Liberty Coalition livestream event last night, where he warned that if Democrats gain control of Congress in the midterm elections, it will “inaugurate an hour of darkness” in America.

Wallnau said that he is working to help conservative Christian voters connect locally so that they can “pray together and begin to exercise spiritual authority for God to show up” in their local elections.

“This president, if he is in any way made vulnerable in the House or in the Senate,” he said, “the combined power of business, academia, media, entertainment, and government and funding is going to impeach this man and undo everything that he has done. And when that happens, it’s going to inaugurate an hour of darkness that God did not want over America. He wanted restoration and reformation, He didn’t want just a window of grace and then annihilation.”

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even the LAWRD himself thinks this is ridiculous!!! But DAYMONS apparently also exist within our own education system! Just ask the “Activist Mommy”!

Elizabeth Johnston, a right-wing activist better known as “The Activist Mommy,” appeared on the “Focal Point” radio program yesterday to discuss the “Sex Ed Sit Out” effort she is leading, which encourages parents to remove their children from school for a day later this month to protest what she sees as “graphic, gender-bending sex education.”

Johnston told guest host Matt Barber that after this “Sex Ed Sit Out” effort is complete, she is going to turn her attention to suing school systems that promote “obscenity” by teaching sex ed to students.

“What they are teaching in the schools is obscenity, and we have good obscenity laws in this country, we just don’t have leadership enforcing those obscenity laws,” she said. “And you know what? It’s time that we hold leadership accountable. It’s time that we make sure that obscenity laws are enforced and so I feel like—Sex Ed Sit Out, that is going to be, after we get through this event on the 23rd—that is going to be an area that we move into very naturally.”

So DAYMONS exist in our schools, in our politics, and everywhere on this planet we live on. And they all must be cleansed of sin!!!! But apparently we are the DAYMONS folks, because according to Brother Larry, we are going to cut their heads off when we win!

Over the weekend, right-wing attorney and crackpot conspiracy theorist Larry Klayman joined right-wing birther conspiracy theorist Joel Gilbert on Infowars, where Klayman warned that liberals cannot be allowed to remove President Trump from office because that will eventually lead to liberals literally beheading conservatives.

“They’re trying to seize control of the country,” Klayman said. “Once they get ahold of it, they’re going to build it up in their socialist/communist/atheist radical anti-American image.”

“They want a socialist state, they want a police state, they want to squeeze God out of this country,” he added. “We are fighting a war, in effect, to the death. Our lives are at stake. All of our lives are at stake and they’re not going to stop with just getting rid of Trump. Once they get rid of him, they’re coming at us, the conservatives, the libertarians, those that will not go along with their socialist radical views.”

There you have it!!! That’s where DAYMONS exist! We are the DAYMONS!! I hope that is the take away you get from today’s sermon. Mass has ended, may you go in peace. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Phil Anschutz
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It’s now time for:

This week we’re going to Coachella everybody!!! Well, sort of. Actually we’re going to talk about the owner of Coachella, right wing billionaire Phil Anschutz. If you don’t know who he is, he owns Anschutz Entertainment Group (AEG) – a company that is very slowly taking over the entire entertainment industry from the way we purchase tickets to actually owning the venues we go to. While we’re paying attention to the Kochs and the Mercers for the havoc they have wrought on this country, Phil Anschutz is the Jared Kushner of billionaires – he just sits in the corner, plotting his next evil move. Like a character in a horror movie. Only this is much more terrifying!

This weekend, hordes of music lovers and teepee enthusiasts will descend on Indio, California, for the annual Coachella Music Festival. The first big festival of the season, Coachella has a reputation for attracting the worst of the worst: entitled rich kids in knockoff Native headdresses, bankers in bindis, and these people. Think Fyre Festival, but financially solvent.

A few years ago, The Washington Post revealed that the often-problematic festival’s issues went way beyond appropriative accessories. A 2016 report on America’s “enemies of equality” is often cited as blowing the lid off Coachella and its founder, Philip Anschutz, the owner of entertainment conglomerate AEG. The Freedom for All Americans campaign reported that Anschutz, one of the richest people in America with a net worth of $12.9 billion, gave large sums of money to the Alliance Defending Freedom, the National Christian Foundation, and the Family Research Council.

According to the Post, the National Christian Foundation “funds a lot of the groups aggressively working to chip away at the equal rights of LGBT Americans.” The Family Research Council, which expressly says on its website that it “believes that homosexual conduct is harmful to the persons who engage in it and to society at large,” has been deemed an “extremist group” by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

So that $475 you shilled out for your 3 day Coachella pass? Yeah it’s going to fund the exact opposite of everything the festival originally stood for! Yeah so never mind that Beyonce and Jay Z have a 1,000,000 person entourage, your money is going to fund Anschutz and his causes like destroying LGBT civil liberties!

You'd be hard pressed to find a more anti-freedom lobby than the ADF. The organization is suspected to be behind seventeen proposals in fourteen states that directly target LGBT rights – a repressive political wave following the legalization of gay marriage in June 2015.

The ADF is also behind this charming little legal guide to helping churches shield themselves from the message of pro-sexual freedom that is apparently "spreading like a virus" in American churches.

Philip Anschutz, the 39th richest man in the United States, contributed nearly 110,000 dollars to the ADF between 2011 and 2013, and 80,000 dollars to a variety of other anti-LGBT organizations.

In a press release, Ian Silverii, director of ProgressNow Colorado, directly accuses these groups of advocating violence toward LGBT folks, as is the case of the extremist hate group Pray in Jesus Name.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That’s right – money from your Coachella ticket goes to anti-LGBT hate groups like Focus On The Family. Oh and if you think that’s not the worst thing he’s done lately, our buddy Phil seems bent on shutting down America’s local newspapers.

After the Denver Post announced that it would be laying off thirty people, or around 30 percent of the newsroom staff, the Denver Newspaper Guild, which represents 25 of those getting pink slips, put out an open call for a wealthy benefactor to buy the publication from Alden Global Capital, the hedge fund that's been stripping it down like a stolen car for years. Billionaire Phil Anschutz seems to fit this bill, and he has a notable interest in newspapers, having purchased the Colorado Springs Gazette in 2012.

But a story shared by Denver City Councilman Kevin Flynn suggests that Anschutz may prefer to let the Post die in order to replace it with a resurrected version of the Rocky Mountain News, which was shuttered in February 2009.

According to Flynn, Anschutz's right-hand man, the late Jim Monaghan, told him his boss simply wouldn't buy the Post because "he doesn't want to inherit the contracts." In other words, closing the Post would end the union contracts there, after which Anschutz could launch the Rocky as a non-union shop, like the Gazette.

And the Denver Post is just one paper! I mean we all know what they did last week when they mistook Coors Field for Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia – a pretty obvious mistake to make except for the fact that it clearly says “Phillies” if you look closely enough:


And that’s just one newspaper! But there’s a method to Anschutz’ insanity. It seems for every evil thing he does, he does one thing that kind of makes it better… ish?

Billionaire businessman Philip Anschutz, the entertainment conglomerate chairman known for bankrolling controversial right-wing causes, donated $1 million to Elton John AIDS Foundation’s LGBT Fund earlier this week, according to a press release.

The fund “tackles the stigma, discrimination and violence that prevents LGBT people in Sub-Saharan Africa from accessing the health and HIV services they need.”

"My gift to the Elton John Foundation is intended to emphasize that we support freedom of all people to live their lives peacefully, without interference from others," Anschutz said in a statement provided to Billboard.

Except Mr. Anschutz is out to channel Scrooge McDuck – like most right wing billionaires do. And $1 million? Come on, Phil’s probably got that much in his couch cushions. But if you want any more insight into this 78 year old Christian conservative, here’s more.

Not that just anyone with a fat billfold can sign up. Weiss stresses that "we won't go forward unless we get significant support from people in Denver. And we don't want a person with a present agenda to be advocating to control the newspaper" — a description that some might see fitting billionaire Phil Anschutz, the Christian conservative marijuana hater who owns the Colorado Springs Gazette . Anschutz has long been rumored to have an interest in owning a Denver daily, but comments by his former right-hand man shared with Denver City Council member Kevin Flynn suggest that he would prefer to buy the Post when it hits bottom, shut it down and use its assets to revive the defunct Rocky Mountain News as a non-union paper.

Since the New York Times piece appeared, Weiss says, "We have been inundated with calls from people who have deep pockets" who aren't looking at buying the Post as a way to simply turn a quick buck.

"This is going to take patient capital," he allows. "We expect that whoever buys the paper will have to make strategic long-term investments that will pay off handsomely, but not in six months or a year or even two years. But they'll pay off eventually, and Colorado will have a great newspaper."

Never mind that Phil funds anti-marijuana causes *AND* owns the world’s largest music festival where there was a fucking marijuana bar present! That’s Phil Anschutz – this week’s:

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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So the Alt Right, or Alt Lite, or New Right, or Diet Alt Lite, or Diet Reduced Calorie Sugar Free Alt Lite (now with 50% less high fructose corn syrup), or whatever these morons are called this week, have been having a banner week. Last week we talked about how Alex Jones has been in a huge free fall with that insane press conference, and this week, he had what might be one of his most insane revelations yet. So Alex claims that women were trying to seduce him to Satanism. Well, I always figured because he regularly channels the devil. Thank you! And then Alex further went insane by saying this:

Alex Jones, a conspiracy theorist who has spent the last week using his network to promote the idea that a deadly gas attack in Syria was a “false flag” designed to justify the military involvement of other countries in the region, screamed a slew of profanity aimed at President Trump before breaking down in tears in response to Trump’s announcement that U.S. would carry out airstrikes in response to the gas attack.

On Friday night, Trump announced that the United States military had bombed targets in Syria in retaliation for a chemical gas attack that had been carried out on April 7. Many world leaders believe that the Assad regime in Syria conducted the attack, pointing to reports that the chemical nerve agent sarin was used as it was in a similar attack last year. In response, Trump ordered the military to bomb three of the Syrian government’s chemical weapons facilities.

When news broke of Trump’s announcement about striking Syria, Jones and co-host Owen Shroyer took to the air to report live on the attacks, during which Jones briefly became a sobbing mess.

“I feel like I just had my best girlfriend break up with me and the left will make jokes but this ain’t funny, man,” Jones said, his voice trembling.

Oh come on Alex, you voted for a con artist! Don’t be surprised when you get conned! Yeah exactly thank you sir! It’s the art of the deal, folks, ok? If that’s not enough our favorite wannabe tough guys the Proud Boys are back! And like the Dropkick Murphys song says, they are looking for trouble!

The Proud Boys, a truly bizarre “western chauvinist” fraternity that was recently named a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, is hosting a Patriots Day rally in Massachusetts headlined by three figures who inhabit the far reaches of right-wing politics.

According to a Facebook event created by the New England chapter of Proud Boys, the April 16 rally will feature alt-right icon Kyle “Based Stickman” Chapman, who was charged with assaulting counter-protesters at a rally in Berkeley last year, right-wing Senate candidate V.A. Shiva Ayyadurai, who has cozied up to alt-right activists, and YouTube pundit Carl “Sargon of Akkad” Benjamin, who calls himself “liberalist” despite offering himself as an ally to the fringes of the far-right.

The rally will be hosted by John Medlar, a “local free speech activist” who also organized a “free speech” rally at Boston Common last year shortly after a woman was murdered at the “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. The event page promises “music, rousing speeches, and open-mic free speech.”

Because if there’s one way to attract an audience, it’s on a Monday afternoon when most of the people you cater to are working the drive through at McDonalds, or at school accusing their political science teachers of too much liberal bias. In fact last year at the same rally, there were more counter protesters than actual protesters!

Last year’s rally at Boston Common ended early after it was overwhelmed by counter-protesters. Ayyadurai also spoke at that rally.

The Proud Boys and their founder, CRTV host Gavin McInnes, have a well-documented history of spreading hate and vitriol. Former Proud Boy Jason Kessler helped organized the “Unite the Right” rally, which several Proud Boys attended. McInnes has made a career out of peddling transphobic, misogynistic and anti-Muslim rhetoric—ideas that have taken hold with many members of his organization.

The group also has a history of violence at rallies, some of which may be motivated by the fact that the final “degree” of Proud Boys membership requires physically assaulting an anti-fascist “Antifa” protester.

True but back to Alex Jones for a minute – you know we’ve railed on his attempts to label mass shootings false flags. Well this week he got his ass handed to him!

Since the tragedy in Connecticut, Jones has doubled down on his claims about the shooting and Infowars continues to put forward “false flag” conspiracy theories after nearly every major mass tragedy.

The new suits come on the heels of a marathon of press events Jones hosted in Washington last week, at which he spoke about his fight against a separate lawsuit from a person he had claimed was responsible for the murder of a counter-protester at last year’s Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville.

The plaintiffs in the lawsuits filed late last night are being represented by Mark Bankston, who filed another recent suit against Jones seeking damages for a plaintiff who Infowars incorrectly identified as the Parkland shooter. The suit, Fontaine v. Jones, alleges that Infowars’ false reporting resulted in death threats for the incorrectly accused young man and seeks $1 million in damages.


But I can’t get out of here without mentioning how the right wing is reacting to their news about Sean Hannity this week.

News broke this afternoon that Fox News host Sean Hannity was the secret third client of Michael Cohen, the lawyer who allegedly arranged massive payouts to women who had affairs with President Trump and former RNC fundraiser Elliot Broidy. Hannity’s name surfaced in connection with Cohen’s challenge to the FBI’s seizure of records from his office based on assertions of the need to protect attorney client confidentiality.

The news came as a shock to many in the media, but Trump-supporting conspiracy theorists have already begun their work weaving the revelation into their ongoing conspiracy theory narrative alleging that the so-called “deep state” or “shadow government” is secretly working to undermine the Trump administration, its allies in the media, and conservative voters.

Last December, Hannity told former White House strategist and Breitbart executive Steve Bannon that he feared that he “may end up in jail” for defending Trump against a deep-state effort to remove Trump from office. “By the way, people like us may end up in jail,” he told Bannon. “Let me tell you. They will stop at nothing. This is what I’m trying to get across to people. This is serious. This is the rule of law in this country now.”

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s now time for:

And man do I need a drink this week. And I definitely need a few drinks to get me through a Proud Boys rally. So tell me bartender, what goes well with Donkey Kong? A barrel of whisky thrown right at me? Eh, I think I’d rather have a double Jack & Coke, thanks. This week, a record was torn down just like the NCAA yanking it from Joe Paterno. What? Too soon? Well I’m talking about a documentary movie that was made a few years ago called “The King Of Kongs”. So what happened exactly?

Well, we’ve officially found our video-game version of Icarus. One of the highest-scoring gamers of all time, Billy Mitchell — who was propelled into geeky stardom thanks to the 2007 documentary King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters — has been stripped of all of his high scores due to substantial cheating evidence against him. Per Variety, Twin Galexies, which is the world’s largest tracker of video-game records, made the ruling after months of investigation. “With this ruling, Twin Galaxies can no longer recognize Billy Mitchell as the first million point Donkey Kong record holder,” the group said in a statement. “According to our findings, Steve Wiebe would be the official 1st million point record holder.” Because of the scandal, Mitchell has been banned from competitive gaming for the rest of his life, and Guinness Book of World Records has also been alerted.

Thank you sound effects guy! And no one beats that level, damn it! So how did Billy Mitchell get stripped of his title exactly?

Famed high-score gamer Billy Mitchell, best known for his role in “The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters” documentary, was officially stripped of his “Donkey Kong” and other video game high scores and banned from submitting scores to the world’s largest tracker of video game world records following a decision that he cheated, Twin Galaxies announced today.

“With this ruling, Twin Galaxies can no longer recognize Billy Mitchell as the first million point ‘Donkey Kong’ record holder,” the group wrote in its announcement. “According to our findings, Steve Wiebe would be the official 1st million point record holder.”

Variety has reached out to Mitchell and Wiebe for comment and Guinness to see if his record there will stand.

The decision comes after months of research by the administrators of Twin Galaxies, which tracks world gaming records and helps the Guinness Book of World records validate gaming scores, according to a statement released by the group Thursday morning.

Well on the plus side, I hear that Putin has a nice job for Mitchell in his hacker army. So Mitchell cheated! And of course there’s more to this story than you would believe. Wait – so who knew there was an official Donkey Kong forum?

The recent controversy began with a lengthy post on the Donkey Kong Forum from Jeremy Young, known on the site as Xelnia. Over the course of almost 2,000 words—complemented by multiple animated gifs—Young makes the case that Mitchell achieved three of his Donkey Kong high scores in emulated versions of the game rather than on original arcade cabinets. The evidence mostly comes down to subtle variations in the way that older emulators—like those that Mitchell would have used—render the environment on-screen. As Ars Technica explains, “While a real Donkey Kong cabinet generates and displays game scenes in a ‘sliding door’ effect, sliding from one side to the other, old versions of the Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator (MAME) instead build entire chunks of a level at once and then display them as a complete screen buffer.” That matters in part because it can change the way the game is played, while also making it easier to falsify the record.

In his post, Young stops short of suggesting that Mitchell actively cheated along the way to earning his high scores in the game, but with an emulator he easily could have. Young notes that using the emulator’s recording feature, Mitchell could have played in a stop-and-start style, allowing him to patch together a more ideal run. Further, there are no witnesses to the three scores in question (Mitchell submitted evidence by video tape), and he probably didn’t have the skills to create a recording from the hardware itself, which increases the likelihood that he used an emulator.

At least in drinking games the only way to cheat is if you spill or puke. And there isn’t any hacking into that shit either. Unless you know of some superhuman way to drink beer. But the cheating allegations against Mitchell aren’t just an isolated incident. Apparently there’s more!

In the wake of Young’s announcement, others have made additional accusations against Mitchell. As Ars Technica reports in an update to its original post, “Former Donkey Kong world record holder Wes Copeland has presented new statistical evidence that he says suggests Mitchell’s 1.05 million point game was patched together from multiple emulated plays.” Meanwhile, the site adds, another competitor managed to best his own previous No. 1 score in Donkey Kong, livestreaming a game in which he accumulated almost 200,000 more points than Mitchell had in the most impressive of his (allegedly fraudulent) runs.

Ultimately, Mitchell’s true gift to the competitive arcade community may have been the ease with which he filled the role of antagonist. In the years since King of Kong’s 2007 release, many other players have surpassed the accomplishments of Steve Wiebe, Mitchell’s good guy foil. While they may have paid prices of their own for their triumphs, it seems as if they’ve done so in a very different spirit, one that emphasizes mutual support as much as it does individual skill. From the outside, it’s hard to avoid the impression that they’ve come together in a spirit wholly contrary to the one Mitchell espouses in the film. Or, as Young puts it in the conclusion to his original post, theirs is a community “built on the idea of friendship through competition, camaraderie through our shared pains in pushing ourselves, our friends, and these games to their limits.”

So the moral of the story here is don’t cheat, kids! Unless you’re a republican or you’re working for Vladimir Putin, then it’s OK for you to cheat. So what does Billy Mitchel’s biggest rival, Steve Weibe think?

Steve Wiebe is speaking out as another record-keeping body has stripped away the accomplishments of his ‘The King Of Kong’ rival. On Thursday, video game legend Billy Mitchell was banned from competition and his records were wiped off the books after video game organization Twin Galaxies determined the proverbial villian of the 2007 documentary was cheating.

The two gamers battled to be the first to reach one million points in Donkey Kong, a feat Mitchell appeared to do first. But Thursday’s news changed all that. The accusations against Mitchell are a bit complicated, but it appears that his records were not set on a true arcade machine, using a MAME emulator rather than an arcade circuit board, thus making his achievements invalid.

Given the rivalry between the two competitors, it’s inevitable that Wiebe was reached to discuss what’s become of Mitchell and what he thought about the coda to their battles documented in the film.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 4
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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! I hope you all filled out your brackets! Round 1 of the tournament is over and man there have been some exciting developments. Last week – Missouri routed Utah to advance to the Elite 8 in a Family Values faceoff, while Virginia stunned the world champion Texas team flinging the batshit in a massive upset. This week we’re live in San Jose at the home of the San Jose Sharks – HP Pavilion for the Gun Nut Conference Championship! The winner moves on to the Final Four. The loser goes home. This week it’s a duel to the death in the states that have the craziest gun laws in our country. In one corner is Florida, they have not disappointed this year. In the other corner – Montana, and they are proving every bit as formidable as they were last year. This is going to be an exciting matchup! Can they do it? Let’s get out our brackets so you can follow along!

[font size="6"]Gun Nut Conference Championship: Florida Vs Montana [/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]

So the last time we checked in with Florida, they were still reeling from the Parkland tragedy but that has spawned a new movement. But unfortunately I know what state this is. This is Florida, the state that has given us Florida Man and his wife Florida Woman. The state where meth and bath salts are considered a balanced part of your daily diet. And a place where shooting first and asking questions later is the most effective means of communication. It’s also the last place where you can stuff a gun in your pants and people will consider it a fashion accessory. So what has Florida been up to?

The pro-Second Amendment right wing officially broke its brain last month. Instead of civilly disagreeing with the Parkland-surviving teens who organized the March for Our Lives, Breitbart has accused David Hogg of giving a Nazi salute (didn't happen), commentators and sitting lawmakers have utterly misrepresented Cuban politics and accused Emma Gonzalez of supporting the Castro regime, the Daily Wire wrote an article making fun of David Hogg's actually very-good 4.2 grade-point-average, and social-media users have spread all sorts of memes comparing school-shooting survivors to Hitler.

Did you assume that photoshopping Hogg's face onto the body of a Hitler Youth member was the lowest the public discourse about this could go? Think again! A burgeoning take on right-wing pockets of social media seems to be that the Parkland kids actually caused the Stoneman Douglas massacre by bullying poor, poor Nikolas Cruz.

To be clear: There's little evidence that Cruz was bullied. Douglas students have consistently described Cruz as a frightening individual that most people steered clear from, and he was evaluated multiple times for psychiatric issues and threats of violence.

And even if any students bullied someone, that doesn't give anyone the right to walk into a school with an assault rifle and murder people. The meme here seems to stem from one of Gonzalez's speeches, where she says she and others "ostracized" Cruz — but the clip is ripped out of context and she is very clearly explaining that Cruz's actions (threatening others, taking tons of photos of his guns, drawing swastikas on his belongings) terrified people and made them want to avoid him.

Read more: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/right-now-blaming-parkland-teens-for-bullying-nikolas-cruz-10221533

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Only in this country could you get shot at, and people would be blaming you for standing in the way of the bullet. It’s your own fault, damn it! But some good news is that Florida is at least taking *SOME* measures to prevent Florida Man from owning a gun.

In a truly surprising sequence of events, it took less than one month from the massacre at a Parkland high school for Florida lawmakers to take actual legislative action. March 9, Gov. Rick Scott signed a bill allowing law enforcement to petition the courts to take guns away from people thought to be a danger to themselves or others. It was the first firearm restrictions supported by Florida Republicans in more than 20 years.

Though the law is only three weeks old, court records show it's already having a real-world effect in South Florida. In Broward County, law enforcement has successfully petitioned the courts to take guns away from seven people, including a mentally ill man who kept a "diary of delusions," a teenager whose peers were concerned he could be the next school shooter, and a disgruntled employee who threatened to shoot up his office. (No cases have been filed so far in Miami-Dade, according to a judicial spokesperson.)

New Times reviewed five of the seven cases in Broward to learn more about how the new law works and who it targets. (Because the other two cases involved juveniles, the details of those petitions are not public record.) Those court records paint a disturbing picture of people who, until recently, were within their legal right to possess firearms.

Yes we need 8 paces, damn it! So Florida is on a right path, I guess? And only in America can we grieve in a mass shooting by comforting the gun owners.

WASHINGTON — The day after a shooter killed 17 people at a Florida high school, President Donald Trump offered comforting words — for gun owners.

"We are committed to working with state and local leaders to help secure our schools and tackle the difficult issue of mental health," Trump said in brief remarks at the White House. "It is not enough to simply take actions that make us feel like we are making a difference. We must actually make that difference."

Translation: Your guns are safe.

"That's very encouraging that he's not mounting up with the anti-Second Amendment posse," said Larry Pratt, executive director emeritus of the Gun Owners of America, an advocacy group based in Virginia. "The response from gun owners will be principally that he didn't say the kind of things Hillary Clinton would have said had she been president and the way Barack Obama reacted to other situations like this."


[font size="4"]Montana [/font]

Hey everybody give it up for last year’s conference champions! Montana pulled out no stops as it shot its’ way to the top – both literally and figuratively. If you think Florida’s got a lot of guns, Montana has the highest concentration of gun manufacturers in the entire United States. And that’s a fact, you can look it up on Google. And as we learned last year – Montana has a toxic mix of doomsday preppers, end of the world conspiracy theorists, and white supremacists. And of course with hardcore guns comes hardcore racism. Since we last saw Montana, Montana has elected Greg Gianforte as its’ only representative. But well so much for freedom of speech!

Students walk out: On Wednesday, hundreds of students in Missoula walked out of class to protest gun violence in schools. (Here are the photos.) “In my opinion it’s sad that it’s taken this long for people to get this upset about it,” said Henry Charman, a senior at Hellgate who helped to organize the walkout.

Carroll College students plan to walk out of their classes on March 14 to protest Congress’ inaction on gun violence. In 1990, a man who appeared to be drunk walked into Carroll College's cafeteria and opened fire, killing one food service worker and wounding another.

Threats against schools: A Darby senior was in court this week after telling fellow students he was "going to shoot up the school." MacLean William Kayser, 18, told classmates that those wearing yellow shirts to school the following day would be "a target'' but those in red shirts would be safe. He then pointed at various students, saying “you’re a red shirt” or “you’re a yellow shirt,” according to an affidavit of probable cause filed Tuesday in Ravalli County Justice Court.

On Thursday, Missoula's Big Sky High School was on lock-in after graffiti was found in a girls' bathroom that said "Don't be at Big Sky at 1:20." The school allowed parents to pick up teir kids.

Uh yeah that’s about it in America. You have a constitutional right to protest but then you get punished by exercising that right. I mean come on this is a state where they have rallies *FOR* the 2nd Amendment:

HELENA – Nearly 150 people gathered on the steps of the state Capitol on Saturday in a show of solidarity for the Second Amendment right to bear arms as rallies for an end to gun violence took place elsewhere in Montana.

“Today is a great day in Montana and we will be heard,” said Brent Webber, who organized the March for our Guns rally in response to the March for our Lives events held nationwide Saturday in observance of the Feb. 14 shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida, that killed 17 people.

A couple miles away an anti-violence rally was held at Helena’s Memorial Park. Other Montana observances were also held in Great Falls, Missoula, Billings and Bozeman.

Webber said March for our Guns event was for every Montanan who did not have a voice in this debate through the media.


By the way – Montana needs no introduction as to why it’s one of the single most violent states in the country. I mean after all, this is the guy who they chose to represent them in the House Of Representatives:

US congressman Greg Gianforte misled police after his assault of Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs in May, falsely stating that Jacobs had initiated physical contact and that the “liberal media … is trying to make a story”, according to the police incident report.

The records, made public on Friday, provide new details on the violent altercation that occurred on the eve of a special election to fill Montana’s sole seat in the US House of Representatives. Jacobs had approached the then candidate at his Bozeman campaign headquarters to ask a question about the Republican healthcare bill when Gianforte threw him to the ground and punched him.

The Republican was nevertheless elected the next day.

Gianforte subsequently pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge and was sentenced to community service, anger management classes and a $385 fine in June.

read the entire article at:


[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Holy shit this was quite the exciting matchup here! Florida brought their A game against Montana and they are not going to disappoint! The game went into overtime, with Florida winning by the final score of 91 – 78. Montana is going home. Florida is the Gun Nut Conference champion! Cut the net guys, you earned it!

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

One conference championship down, 3 to go! Next week, we’re going across town to Oakland, California, at the home of the Golden State Warriors – Oracle Arena - for the Family Values Conference Championship! And it will be Alabama vs. Missouri – who will be the more godly state worthy of advancing to thine Final Four?

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]NOFX[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, continuing our month long celebration of all things punk rock, my next guests are San Francisco legends! Their latest album is called “First Ditch Effort”. You can see them headlining Punk Rock Bowling on May 27th and they are bringing their “Punk In Drublic” beer and music festival to a city near you. Playing their song “Oxymoronic”, give it up for NOFX!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-13: Lawyer-Ception: A Trial Within A Trial Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-13: Lawyer-Ception: A Trial Within A Trial Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sign up for the new Top 10 Visa Signature Card and get 15% cash back on all purchases and low APR financing, plus double airline miles! So I want to start by talking about professional golf. I usually don’t talk about professional golf. But I love this story. So the Masters tournament happened in Augusta, Georgia this weekend. I have no idea who won, I don’t really care. So the Budweiser commercial and their semi-annoying nonsense catch phrase “Dilly Dilly” got banned from the Masters tournament. Yes if you say “Dilly Dilly” during the tournament, you will get an ejection. Yes, as in an immediate, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200 ejection. So the organizers of the Masters tournament handed down that moratorium. But the response from Anheuser-Busch was classic. Can we throw that tweet up there?


Bud Light even went so far as to have hats and t-shirts made, because apparently not having a “Dilly Dilly” presence at the Masters, made Bud Light really want to have a “Dilly Dilly” presence at the Masters. So hats and t-shirts were made and distributed for the prestigious event. But alas, guess what happened? That Dilly Dilly ban, as the guy who we currently call “president” says, fake news! yup – the whole thing was erroneously reported! Thank you sound effects guy! Man I never thought I would see the day when my sound effects guy was funnier than I am. OK enough of the intro – we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first – John Oliver is back and he exposes the seedy underbelly behind faith-based “Crisis Pregnancy Centers”:


Taking the first slot is another edition of The Trumper Games! Happy Trumper Games! Yes – another tribute has been eliminated – Trump’s own lawyer Michael Cohen! In the second slot this week of course is Donald J. Trump (2) . So by now you know that Trump sent troops to the Mexican border, because, reasons. In the third slot this week is the Alt Right (3). Apparently they are ramping up their quest to out rampant satanic pedophilia, whatever that is. In the number 4 slot, is Gun Nut Apologists (4) who are ramping up their quest to harass and humiliate Parkland student David Hogg - to the point where they are flat out stalking him. In the #5 slot we’ve got a new installment of Top 10 Investigates, and this time we’re going to Los Angeles, and we’re going to investigate what is up with the Waze app. Yes – Waze apparently doesn’t know road conditions and it can get you in serious trouble. In the number 6 slot is our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit, and this week, our resident pastor is going to educate you on how to elect a “godly” candidate because , Jesus. In the number 7 slot we’ve got a new installment of “This Fucking Guy”, only this week, it’s “This Fucking Gal” and that is batshit crazy racist Infowars and Project Veritas contributor Laura Loomer (7), and whew, she crazy. And speaking of Infowars, it’s been a while since we checked in with our old buddy Alex Jones (8) and man is he losing it big time. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new installment of “People Are Dumb” because, well, people are dumb. Finally this week it’s Round 1 Week 4 of our Stupidest State contest and this time we’re live from the home of the Los Angeles Chargers at Stub Hub Center, and this time Virginia takes on the champs, Texas in a battle of the batshit, while newcomers Utah and Missouri duke it out for Family Values superiority! And to cap it off we’re beginning our month long celebration of all things punk rock, and we have a live performance for you from the legendary Suicidal Tendencies! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Trumper Games: Mockingtrump Pt. 2
[br] [/font]

Another firing, another week for the Trumper Games! Wait a minute… you mean to tell me that Michael Cohen wasn’t fired? Charlie!!!! Get me my producer! And bring me the good champagne again, why must I keep getting the cheap shit? But this week – the president’s own lawyer – Michael Cohen – was eliminated from the contest known as the Trumper Games! And this was no ordinary arrest either – we’re talking about the presidents’ own attorney!

WASHINGTON — The F.B.I. raided the Rockefeller Center office and Park Avenue hotel room of President Trump’s longtime personal lawyer, Michael D. Cohen, on Monday morning, seizing business records, emails and documents related to several topics, including a payment to a pornographic film actress.

Mr. Trump, in an extraordinarily angry response, lashed out hours later at what a person briefed on the matter said was an investigation into possible bank fraud by Mr. Cohen. Mr. Trump accused his own Justice Department of perpetrating a “witch hunt” and asserted that the F.B.I. “broke in to” Mr. Cohen’s office.

The president, who spoke at the White House before meeting with senior military commanders about a potential missile strike on Syria, called the F.B.I. raid a “disgraceful situation” and an “attack on our country in a true sense.”

It is not clear how the F.B.I. entered Mr. Cohen’s office, but agents had a search warrant and typically would have presented it to office personnel to be let in. The documents identified in the warrant date back years, according to a person briefed on the search

Oh that’s fierce! But alas – who connected to the president isn’t a shady criminal? We honestly have no idea. So now Tribute Cohen – who was from the 7th district – has been eliminated. The president’s own lawyers have their own lawyers! It’s Lawyer-ception! It's a trial within a trial within a trial! Where does it end and where does it begin?

The FBI raid against Michael Cohen spiked President Donald Trump's rampant indignation over the Robert Mueller probe to previously unseen heights, multiplying the persecution complex he feels about the FBI and his own Justice Department and fueling his sense he's the target of a witch hunt.

And it suggests that Cohen, who paid off adult film star Stormy Daniels, could be a bridge between the two separate legal strands threatening Trump.

"There is no way that they are looking for things that don't connect to the President in some way," Anne Milgram, a former New Jersey attorney general told CNN's Anderson Cooper of the Cohen raid. "It really is an unbelievable day when you start to think about what is happening, what we are going to see next."

Trump's rage continued into Tuesday morning, when he tweeted that "Attorney--client privilege is dead!" and referred to a "A TOTAL WITCH HUNT!!!," his preferred moniker for Mueller's investigation.

So now the president’s lawyers have their own lawyers! Who probably also have their own lawyers – I mean who knows how many layers this thing has? What’s real and what isn’t? Even we don’t know! And of course the president is angry all right! I mean he had to remind us of what it’s all about.


Yes it’s a witch hunt! Or…. Is it? I mean if you were to ask the president directly it is an ordeal orchestrated by the other side! But in reality… he failed to read beyond the headline or the first paragraph like most fans of the president’s favorite news network.

The Department of Justice had to go to extraordinary lengths in order to carry out the raid on President Donald Trump's personal lawyer Michael Cohen.

And the lengths to which the Justice Department went show just how big of a deal the raid is, and, as experts said, how it is such "bad news" for Cohen.

On Monday, the FBI raided Cohen's Manhattan office, his home, and his hotel room, as The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Vanity Fair reported. The FBI was apparently acting on a referral from the special counsel Robert Mueller.

The agency took records related to several topics, including the $130,000 hush-money payment to adult-film star Stormy Daniels just before the 2016 presidential election, The Times reported. Federal prosecutors obtained a search warrant after Mueller sent a referral, said Cohen's lawyer, Stephen Ryan.

The Washington Post reported that Cohen was under investigation for possible bank fraud and violations of election law. Meanwhile, The Times wrote that the raid did not appear to be directly connected to Mueller's probe into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, but that the information he provided was likely uncovered as part of his investigation.

Yes… anything goes at this point, apparently! Mmmm… yes…. Mmmm…. Yes. Mmmmm… yes. So how does anything go? I mean how deep does this probe go? Not quite that deep, sir! We will keep an eye on this story, but for now, consider Tribute Cohen… eliminated!

Here’s what we don’t know: We don’t know specifically what the FBI was looking for when it raided the office of Michael Cohen, high-profile attorney for the Trump Organization. We don’t know what they found; we don’t know what investigations might be bolstered or curtailed by the evidence they seized.

What we do know, though, is interesting enough. The raid, which covered Cohen’s office and, according to the Wall Street Journal, his home and a Manhattan hotel room, included the seizure of information about the payment made to porn star Stormy Daniels shortly before the 2016 election and it included communications between Cohen and President Trump — meaning it included communication between an attorney and his client.

That last point also means that the bar for obtaining a warrant was higher than normal.

An attorney for Cohen told The Washington Post that the search was related to an investigation referred to the Justice Department by special counsel Robert S. Mueller III. In March, The Post reported that Cohen had caught Mueller’s eye, with the special counsel’s team questioning witnesses about Cohen’s actions and requesting documents from Trump’s attorney.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

You know Trump loves him some walls, folks. And he’s so determined to build that damn wall that he will stop at nothing to get it. And you know what the fuck good is a wall going to do when you have these things called airplanes and boats? If he really wanted to be effective, he would build a dome over America. But as we know from the Simpsons Movie and the show Under The Dome, those scenarios tend to end pretty shitty. So here are the latest developments in Trump’s quest to wall off the United States:

The Pentagon offered new details Monday about the types of activities National Guard troops would perform while deployed by President Trump to the U.S.-Mexico border, but critical questions remain about how long the operation will last and how much it will cost.

National Guard troops will provide air support through drones and light-, medium- and heavy-lift helicopters, Lt. Col. Jamie Davis, a Defense Department spokesman, said in a statement to The Washington Post. They will also help maintain roads and other infrastructure, clear vegetation and assist with facility maintenance, in addition to operating surveillance systems, including cameras and blimps, Davis said.

They will not be arresting migrants or carrying out armed patrols along the border.

Describing the mission as a support role for the Department of Homeland Security, Davis confirmed that the troops won’t necessarily carry weapons. “National Guard personnel will only be armed for their own self-protection to the extent required by the circumstances of the mission they are performing,” Davis said.

Oh come on, this is the Trump administration here! You say facts like costs and deployment times as if they are a thing. You silly journalists, facts don’t matter! I mean if facts did matter Trump wouldn’t be in the White House! So Trump is sending troops to the border because, reasons. I mean if drugs are really the reason, the Trump administration can’t be bothered to do any actual research!

As for drug trafficking, the administration would be well-advised to take credit for collapsing marijuana smuggling, which is the real story. From a 2009 high of 3.8 million pounds confiscated by Border Patrol in the field (as opposed to at official crossing points), we anticipate seizures to fall to 0.6 million pounds this year, a reduction of 84 percent.

The key driver of the collapse is the legalization of recreational marijuana, at first in Colorado and more recently in California, which has allowed domestic production to displace Mexican imports. As the U.S. industry becomes more established, it will continue to take share from lower quality, smuggled product.

The anticipated legalization of marijuana in New Jersey will put another nail in the smuggling coffin, and we anticipate a further two-thirds drop of marijuana smuggling in the field by 2021. The collapse of marijuana smuggling has nothing to do with border patrol and everything to do with legalization at the state level. Nevertheless, in the time honored tradition, U.S. presidents can take credit for achievements on their watch. President Trump should do so.


Well it’s not wrong, it’s a fact, sir! But you know it is Trump – a guy whose media diet is almost as shitty as his actual diet. 2500 calories worth of McDonalds can’t be all that bad for you can it? And neither can a steady diet of 24/7 Fox News.

National Guard troops have begun deploying along the Mexican border, answering a call from President Trump to combat the "lawlessness that continues at our southern border."

Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey announced 225 guard members from his state deployed Monday, with more than 100 additional troops sent Tuesday.

"Thank you to the brave men and women of @AZNationalGuard deploying in support of Operation Guardian Shield," Ducey said on Twitter. "Your efforts are making all Arizonans and our country safer."

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott said about 250 Texas National Guard members have been deployed, a force that will be ramped up to about 1,000 from his state alone in coming weeks, he said.

And who needs to actually build a wall when you can just send a human one with drones overseeing your every move? Yes – they’re watching you! And the true worth of the border wall – it’s pretty worthless, actually.

President Donald Trump's plans to build a wall along the United States' southern border is inflaming relations between the United States and Mexico. It's a contentious issue, considering the border wall would cost billions of dollars.

On Thursday, Trump threatened to cancel a meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, after Peña Nieto reiterated that Mexico would not pay for it.

On Thursday, Senate leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky, said Congress will follow through on Trump's border wall order, and McConnell estimated it will cost $15 billion at most — he cited a range of $12 billion to $15 billion.

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
[br] [/font]

So if you remember last week – we discussed in more detail that I would care to know about – a bullshit conspiracy theory called “The Storm”. And the storm alleges that there’s a global elite ring of rampant pedophilia and child sex trafficking that we are unaware of. Sure, these are truly horrifying crimes, but like most things, the Alt Right just makes shit up. Take Liz Crokin for instance who says that anyone who dares to criticize Trump is tied to Satanism! Oh sure that’s what we want you to think, Liz!

Fringe right-wing conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin appeared on the “Disputed Lands” program last night, where she asserted that the cabal of elite satanic pedophiles who rule the world are trying to kill everyone through vaccines and chemtrails so that they can sexually abuse and eat children without anyone “pestering” them.

“That’s why they are all about abortion, depopulation, contaminating our food supply, the chemtrails, the vaccines,” Crokin said. “They are trying to kill us. They are trying to kill us off because they know the only way they can run their sick one-world government where they worship Moloch, rape kids, and do it without anyone like me pestering them is if they kill most of us off and that’s what they’re trying to do.”

Crokin said that, in the meantime, “they are trying to hard to normalize this because they know eventually this is going to come out” and so they are working to “get raping kids and eating kids to be cool and normal” by using celebrities like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Drew Barrymore to promote “cannibalism and satanic rituals and child sex trafficking.”

Yeah probably. I want some of whatever brand of Covfefe these morons are smoking because it must be some pretty strong stuff. I mean Liz isn’t the only one who is convinced that there’s rampant satanic pedophilia out there. I give you Alex Jones’ BFF, Jerome Corsi.

Jerome Corsi, the Washington bureau chief for the right-wing conspiracy theory outlet Infowars, appeared on “The SGT Report” over the weekend to discuss his efforts to promote the QAnon/The Storm conspiracy theory, which alleges that President Trump is secretly working to take down a massive satanic pedophile ring that involves untold numbers of elite political, business and entertainment leaders.

Corsi said that it is only through the grace of God that he is able to maintain his sanity as he works tirelessly to expose the terrible truth about the rampant satanic pedophilia that is taking place and that he often finds himself unable to sleep over the thought that he may be missing an opportunity to get the word out and “red pill” one more person.

“The corruption, the evil of devoting yourself to Lucifer ends up in satanic sacrifices, children abused, human rights kidnapping, just incredible human torment, torture, snuff films,” Corsi said. “The evil depths and corners of this are so abhorrent to me, and should be to every right-thinking American, that we need to expose this, we need to bring it out, we need to show it the light of day despite how many people it’s going to be disturbing to.”

“Those of us who are going to know every aspect of it are ourselves going to have to pray to God that we come out not so damaged that we become somewhat dysfunctional,” he added. “We are going to have to make sure that we pray and approach this with the light of God and the help of God in order to get through this crisis.”

What crisis, Jerome? You mean the one where a puppet installed by a mass murdering dictator is occupying the government of the free world? That one? Yeah there’s that. These morons are so convinced of this that they actually held a march in Washington, DC! Yes, an entire fucking march! These are the Walking MAGAts. Or maybe its’ spinoff show, Fear The Walking MAGAts.

A group of just over 100 right-wing conspiracy theorists met in front of the White House on Saturday, marched down Pennsylvania Avenue past the Justice Department and FBI buildings, and gathered on Freedom Plaza for an open mic rally.

Several marchers brandished copies of Infowars Washington bureau chief Jerome Corsi’s latest book, “Killing the Deep State.” Corsi promotes the conspiracy theory known as The Storm, which is based on anonymous postings by someone known as Q, supposedly from deep within the government. “I see Q people,” read a sign at the march. Others yelled at tourists and pedestrians, “Who is QAnon? Look it up!”

Adherents believe that the dispatches from Q—or QAnon—are signaling that the Trump administration is getting ready to blow the lid off major conspiracy theories, including one that posits that leading Democratic political operatives are engaged in child sex trafficking.

In January, Corsi warned that eventually videos would come out showing “global elites” making children plead for their lives before “butchering” them. The related “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory nearly turned fatal when one adherent showed up at a restaurant that conspiracy theorists claimed was the center of a sex-trafficking ring and started shooting. At the Saturday march, one participant’s sign read, “Arrest Luciferian Pedophiles NOW.”

Yeah probably! So if you want a recap – the March For Our Lives had millions of people around the country and the world marching for something. Here in DC, you had 100 people marching for… absolutely nothing! But if you talk to the most die hard person involved in this cult, it is quite something because they believe in this bullshit. By the way – did you know the deep state elite satanic pedophiles were involved in Cohen’s firing? Neither did we!

Last night, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau posted a video on his Facebook page in which he railed against the news that the FBI had raided the office of President Trump’s longtime personal attorney, Michael Cohen.

Wallnau fumed that the “deep state” and Trump’s “enemies in the CIA.” were violating attorney-client privilege solely in order to obtain information about Trump that could be leaked to the media in order to embarrass the president.

“Michael Cohen, Trump’s attorney, just had his hotel room and his office ransacked by the FBI. in order to find every personal communication he had with Donald Trump that can be leaked to the New York Times that can expose any embarrassment regarding Stormy Daniels,” Wallnau said. “So desperate, so despicable, so depraved are his enemies that they are actually raiding his lawyer’s office in order to find any type of shred of information that they can use because the Russia thing is going belly-up, so they are now going after Trump for did he ever, in 10 years, 12 years, did he ever do anything that can humiliate him or embarrass him?”

“It’s infuriating,” Wallnau said, as he began to pray against the intelligence agencies and “their quest to try to destroy their own president.”

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
[br] [/font]

You guys know David Hogg, right? I’ve been reporting on this kid lately, and he’s going places. In fact he’s really getting under the gun nuts’ skin. They are addicted to their death toys. They can’t stand it not to have their precious. Really, the gun nuts are like Gollem from Lord Of The Rings. Guns are the One Ring, and the gun nuts are chasing after their precious. In fact I reported that gun nuts have threatened to murder Hogg, and they have also started a whole website dedicated to stalking him. Well here’s one gun nut from St Louis who… yeah should probably keep his mouth shut.

St. Louis radio and TV personality Jamie Allman has landed in hot water with a tweet about his desire to assault Parkland student David Hogg with a hot poker.

Hogg has been a subject of criticism from pro-gun rights advocates since he and other Parkland students began speaking out and organizing rallies. The students are advocating for stronger gun laws after 19-year-old gunman Nikolas Cruz took the lives of 17 people at the school.

Allman's Twitter account is now "locked," which means anyone who wants to see his tweets first has to request his permission to follow him.

A screenshot of the controversial tweet, sent at 9:56 p.m. on March 26, began making its way around social media this week and was the subject of a story in the Riverfront Times, the St. Louis alt-weekly, on Friday.

Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/jamie-allman-lands-himself-in-hot-water-with-tweet-about/article_3b1fe951-d154-5d4f-a0f2-c37ea771d2af.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Really? You first thought is sodomizing with a hot poker? What is wrong with these assholes? Oh and in case you didn’t catch – his employer is Sinclair Broadcasting, which as you are probably well aware is under fire for trying to become state run TV under Trump:

In recent weeks, news anchors at local TV stations across the country have warned Americans about the “sharing of biased and false news” and the threat “fake stories” pose to democracy. As a recent video revealed, reporters recited word for word the same script bearing this warning.

What do these stations have in common? They’re all owned by Sinclair Broadcast Group, the largest television station conglomerate in the United States.

Critics have claimed that Sinclair — a company with close ties to the Trump administration and conservative politicians — is pushing its stations away from local coverage and toward a partisan brand of political reporting on national politics.

In new research, we find evidence that that appears to be the case. Stations bought by Sinclair reduce coverage of local politics, increase national coverage and move the ideological tone of coverage in a conservative direction relative to other stations operating in the same market.

Yeah sure whatever. So Sinclair is under fire for wanting to become state run TV under Trump. And then they have this douchebag to deal with. But at least Jamie got shit canned – partially. I mean if hot sodomy with a metal rod isn’t enough for a guy to get fired, what is?

“I’ve been hanging out getting ready to ram a hot poker up David Hogg’s ass,” Jamie Allman wrote on Twitter on March 26.

“We have accepted Mr. Allman’s resignation, and his show has been canceled,” a Sinclair spokesman told The Washington Post on Monday.

“You can’t say ‘Hey I’m just a kid,’” Allman said, according to the Riverfront Times. “We have to be allowed to refute what you’re saying... or to respond to it, you can’t be all the time grabbing your blanket when the going gets tough.”

Sinclair has also come under fire for forcing its anchors to recite the same scripted editorial against “false stories” that critics have likened to a “hostage video.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jamie-allman-canceled_us_5acc21c5e4b07a3485e7a557

Goodbye Jamie, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out! Now what Mr. Allman said was extremely horrible. But not the worst thing said about David Hogg this week. Behind door #2 – there is Ted “Mr. Poopy Pants Draft Dodger” Nugent:

Ted Nugent lashed out on Friday at the high school students who have led protests against gun violence in recent weeks, calling them "soulless" and "ignorant" in a fiery radio interview.

"I really feel sorry for them because it’s not only ignorant and dangerously stupid, but it’s soulless," Nugent said during an appearance on "The Joe Pags Show." "To attack the good, law-abiding families of America when well-known, predictable murderers commit these horrors is deep in the category of soulless."

"These poor children, I’m afraid to say this and it hurts me to say this, but the evidence is irrefutable, they have no soul," he added.

In the interview, Nugent railed against what he called the "dumbing down of America" by schools and teachers, whom he accused of teaching students' "lies."


Ahhhhhhh!!! Someone give me a warning next time! Hey “The Storm” fans, there’s a real satanic pedophile for you – Ted Nugent! Ted Nugent is your creepy uncle’s creepy uncle. In case you want to do a search on his past transgressions, just do a quick Google search. I won’t post them here. This is a comedy show, not a horror movie. Yes, the guy who bragged about shitting his pants to get out of Vietnam is threatening to murder high school students. And by the way – guess what he did after getting called out on his bullshit? Anyone? Yeah we need the sad Hulk music for this one!


NRA board member Ted Nugent isn’t backing down from his attacks on the Parkland high school mass shooting student survivors. “I stand by my words,” the rock star said in a Facebook videoSaturday night. On Good Friday Nugent had declared that the teenaged student survivors who are advocating for gun control so no other children have to die in a school massacre, “have no soul.”

On Saturday, in a rambling rant (below) about the media that was filled with inaccuracies Nugent said that news outlets including CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, and HuffPost, along with organizations including Media Matters, MoveOn.org, and the Southern Poverty Law Center, had “claimed that it’s hate speech to identify the hate of people that call us child murderers, because we don’t believe in banning guns, which won’t save any lives.”

A quick Google search could find no evidence of any major organization labeling Nugent’s attack “hate speech.”

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[font size="8"] Top 10 Investigates: WAZE Into Oblivion
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates.

Traffic. It’s one of those things that we have to endure as a modern society. And it can often be the stuff of nightmares. Nobody likes to wait in traffic. Yes, you can counter that with the “nobody likes to wait in line” argument, but there are people who wait in line for days for the latest iPhone. So yeah there is that. But in the smartphone era, there are apps on your phone that can help route you around the worst of traffic. One of these apps is called “Waze” and the Waze app can get you in trouble if you are not careful.

Nobody could have known, several years ago, that technological progress could make life so complicated in Echo Park.

But along Baxter Street, everyone seems to have a story about the ineptitude of drivers — following directions from navigation apps — who can't seem to handle one of the steepest inclines in Los Angeles.

"The car came through our garden, went through two fences and ended up backwards hanging over our driveway," said Jason Luther, who was describing an accident that happened during the last rains.

"A lot of people can't make it up the hill," Baxter resident Robbie Adams said.

Why not? I asked.

"Because it's too steep, and they don't know how to drive up. So they stop and try to back down, and it's a mess because people are coming up behind them."

Yes – WTF LOL indeed. So the Waze app has been routing people onto one of the most notoriously difficult streets to drive on in America. So what is it about this street that is causing so much controversy? Well of course people from Los Angeles always react well in rainy driving conditions. Always.

With grades as steep as 32 degrees -- 35 percent -- residents say Baxter Street is most treacherous in the rain, with a history of cars skidding into front yards.

It has recently become more of a concern during dry times as well.

"The rain has always been an issue, but I guess this particular issue with traffic started when Waze became popular," said Baxter resident Robbie Adams, who has been active in pressing City Hall to take steps to ease the traffic volumes.

East of Glendale Boulevard in the hills of upper Echo Park, Baxter Street has two summits with cross streets.

In the intersection with Alvarado Street, Baxter is so steep, drivers cannot see the road on the other side until starting down.

And that is the typical reaction from Southern Californians when it comes to rain. So what happens when you drive on this most notoriously steep of streets? Well there are lots of bad things that can happen.

Even as tires were spinning and horns honking there during Wednesday's evening rush hours, residents crowded into a conference room at the Echo Park district office of City Councilman Mitch O'Farrell to meet with city transportation officials and press for solutions. Making Baxter one-way has been proposed, but the alternative favored by many residents is adding road signs prohibiting cut-through traffic during rush hours.

Going through the neighborhood, it seems most every neighbor has cellphone video to share of incidents that have occurred on Baxter. Adams has a pickup spinning its rear tires in front of his house. Brian Sayres recorded a car giving up the climb, attempting to back down, then knocking loose its bumper when it turned around. Daniel Ruiz's cellphone video shows a backup of traffic behind car halted at the summit. Another resident's posting on YouTube shows the semi-trailer of an 18 wheeler literally grounded at the summit, its wheels dangling in the air, before it was finally winched free.

Several residents shared stories of skidding cars sliding into yards. James Anderson said the car he parks outside his Baxter Street home has been hit twice, and after the second time, asked the driver what happened.

Well there is always that. So how do the residents of one of the steepest streets in America react to the traffic that Waze has created?

Baxter Street in Echo Park, East Los Angeles, is the fifth-steepest hill in America; it's so steep that inexperienced drivers struggle with it, spinning out and crashing, especially in the rain.

Luckily, it's not a main road and so the people who've used it for most of its 130+ year history have been locals who've developed the necessary specialized knowledge to traverse it.

But now Baxter Street has become something of a thoroughfare, with disastrous consequences as inexperienced drivers -- directed to shortcut through Baxter when the main roads are busy, especially when a rare LA rainstorm clogs traffic and turns Baxter's hills into a nearly impassable obstacle -- are steered onto it by their navigation apps.

We have a good friend who lives off of Baxter Street and we drive it several times a year on our way to dinner parties at his house, and it's a serious white-knuckler. Check out the Youtube subgenre of wheeled conveyances braving its slopes.

So there you have it – Baxter street is not only one of the most notoriously steep streets to drive on, there’s even a Youtube video dedicated to the insanity of driving on this street. That is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So my fair congregation, how does one choose the more godly candidate? And I answer you – they’re a republican. Well it’s a lot more complicated than that. Mainly they’re a person who the right wing evangelicals can pray to, and someone who speaks their language. Now it does not matter what kind of scandals or the magnitude of said scandals one was involved in. Are they are republican? If yes then that is who the people of JAYSUS will vote for! Just ask brother Tony!

NPR reported today that evangelical leaders are seeking to organize a meeting with President Trump this summer at which they intend to confront the president about his alleged affair with, and payoff of, pornographic actress Stormy Daniels. To those who have been following the Religious Right’s support for the president, this story seemed highly suspect because the movement has displayed nothing but blind loyalty in return for Trump’s willingness to enact their political agenda.

This afternoon, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, who has played a central role in maintaining the Trump/Religious Right partnership, appeared on Todd Starnes’ radio program, where he announced that evangelicals have no intention whatsoever of confronting Trump about his personal immorality.

Perkins is among those who are in the process of planning the upcoming meeting, which he explained is intended to be nothing more than a follow-up to the meeting that Trump held with hundreds of evangelical activists prior to the 2016 election. Perkins said that there is a risk that evangelical voters may not be motivated to vote in the midterm elections and so this meeting is designed primarily as a means of highlighting the fact that Trump has largely kept his promises to enact their agenda.

So this is the Christian right’s idea of what passes for the more godly candidate in the 2018 midterm election. Scandals don’t matter. It don’t matter if Trump layeth down with thine porn star! Because that is blasphemy, and BLASPHEMY IS A SIN!!!! Can I get an amen???? So here is how one chooses the more godly candidate!

Intercessors for America has released its prayer guide for the 2018 midterm elections with the goal of electing more “godly” leaders.

IFA’s vision is “to see God’s purposes for America fulfilled through sustained prayer and Spirit-led obedience.” Kyle noted last month that IFA’s director, Dave Kubal, had posted a video talking about the 2018 midterms and the importance of “aligning intercessors with elected officials” in order “to see great advances of the kingdom of God” enacted “through our government.”

IFA’s 2018 guide touts the importance of getting engaged before primary elections, and it’s talking specifics:

There are twelve key House races in our nation, in which retirements, weak incumbents, or a huge field of primary candidates warrant critical intercession. These key races may affect the balance of power in Congress. Please join us in praying for these highlighted districts—even if you don’t live there.

Overall, pray that God would be honored in our elections and that Christians would not only pray, but also participate in elections.

So really you just need someone who can speak your language. And so what does that mean, my fair congregation? Well I answer you… if they are a good and decent person, they are not the kind of person the religious right looks up to! For they only look up to the worst among us! Like Donald J. Trump, for instance! Because apparently Trump is GAWD!!!!!

On his program yesterday, televangelist and prepper pastor Jim Bakker declared that the attacks on President Trump are a sign that “America is in a war against God.”

“Our president, it is like he is in a war,” Bakker said. “He is not running the country like he should because he is trying to defend himself. Don’t kid yourself, he is in warfare. God spoke to me today on this broadcast; what you are experiencing in this nation through the television and through all the networking and through Hollywood and through everything now—everything—you are feeling a spirit which is the spirit of Antichrist. There is a war in the world against God!”

Bakker said that Christians who ask “why would God give us a president who swears, why would he give us a president who has had affairs with women throughout his lifetime?” need to remember that King David was also “a womanizer” and that just about every American president has had multiple affairs.

“One of the most loved presidents of all times, from the information that I have first hand, had multiple affairs daily in the White House,” Bakker said, rather cryptically. “You say, ‘How could he know?’ Well, somebody had to bring the women up the stairs.”

But of course picking the more godly candidate among us doesn’t mean that we should question logic or reason in 2018. No, my fellow worshippers! Because Satan be damned, in the Trump era all logic and reason has been thrown out the window! Which is why the godliest among us will say batshit crazy stuff like this:

On Friday’s episode of his “TruNews” program, End Times broadcaster and right-wing conspiracy theorist Rick Wiles asserted that government “death squads” are responsible for carrying out mass shootings in order to provide a justification for imposing gun control.

This is not the first time that Wiles has made such a claim, as he also believes that these death squads were responsible for murdering Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia and have been routinely beating up politicians.

“I think there is something very sinister going on,” Wiles said. “I personally think that there are death squads, top-secret death squads in this country.”

“Don’t rule out the possibility that these mass shootings are organized and carried out by a death squad and then some sap gets shot and we’re told that he was the perpetrator, he was the one who did it,” Wiles added. “How are we going to ask him? He’s dead.”

Yes Brother Rick – even JAYSUS is embarrassed at this one! Because insanity is a SIN!!! And sins must be punished by our GAWD, creator of all that is good and holy! Can I get an amen? And unlike you, Rick, we can point out in our book where it says that because in our Bible it most certainly does! So death squads are shooting people, because, reasons. But you know what? We must not pick the wrong candidate, or we might usher in the anti Christ! Because you know that the Anti Christ will reign down with fire and fury the destruction of our very planet!

On Friday, Dave Kubal of Intercessors for America hosted a Facebook livestream with End Times author William Koenig, who specializes in claiming that just about all of the major natural disasters and catastrophes that have struck America in recent decades have been God’s punishment on this nation for attempting to divide Israel.

During the discussion session, Koenig warned that White House senior adviser Jared Kushner’s efforts to secure a Middle East peace plan could lead to the rise of the Antichrist.

“There is going to be a peace deal,” Koenig said, suggesting that such a deal would signal that we are living in the End Times, as foretold in Daniel 9:27. “It will be a seven-year covenant. This is the key final-day peace deal. For three and a half years, there will be relative peace and that the midpoint of that three and a half years in the covenant, the Antichrist will come on the Temple Mount and declare himself to be the Messiah. The false prophet spoke of in Revelation will acknowledge that he is the Messiah and then in the last final three and a half years, leading up to the final battle for Jerusalem, which is Armageddon, you’ll have Satan’s wrath, then God’s wrath leading up to the final battle.”

There you have it, folks! Don’t pick the wrong candidate or you will witness the death and destruction of humanity! That is the take away I hope you get from today’s sermon. Mass has ended may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Laura Loomer
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This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is actually a woman – and a seriously batshit crazy one at that. I’m of course talking about Laura Loomer. If you have been paying attention to the Alt Right blog-o-sphere like I have, you’ve probably heard her name mentioned many times. But for those that haven’t, let’s run down her credentials. She’s a regular contributor to Infowars and Project Veritas, got kicked out of court for questioning whether or not the plaintiff was Islamic, got arrested after storming last year’s Shakesphere In The Park production of Julius Caesar, and claims to be a journalist despite having no journalist credentials whatsoever. At least this show – you know we don’t have journalistic integrity, but the difference is we’re proud to admit it! So here’s what Laura has been up to lately.

Right-wing activists and media figures went all-out in their attacks on the March for Our Lives gun reform rallies on Saturday, including attacking the rallies’ funding and organization, blaming “political correctness” and comparing Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school shooting survivor David Hogg to Adolf Hitler.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in Washington, D.C., and in cities across the country to call for stricter gun laws and call out politicians who have received funding and support from the National Rifle Association. Polling shows that most Americans support the march’s calls for gun reform.

Predictably, right-wing pundits went after billionaire George Soros—conservative activists’ favorite bogeyman—in an effort to minimize the legitimacy of the protests. Breitbart radio host Joel Pollak said it was “no surprise” that the march was a “Soros production.” The site’s sports editor Dylan Gwinn said that “we all know that these kids are being coached.”


Right-wing conspiracy theorist and Infowars “reporter” Laura Loomer posted a selfie in response to the march, in which she wore a jacked with a patch that reads: “I don’t need feminism. I carry a 9mm.” Loomer also chided activists who ran a voter registration booth at a benefit concert held the night before the march.

Holy fuck! If that’s what she’s like in real life, I would hate to see her in other situations! “I don’t need safety regulations! I have a 9mm!”. “Who needs the TSA? I have a 9mm!”. “Who needs a DUI check? I have a 9mm!!!”. “I can’t believe I got cut off on the freeway! I have a 9mm!!” And so on. And that wasn’t the only protest Loomer said something off the wall batshit crazy at.

Unhinged conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer urged her followers to archive the shooter’s personal profiles, claiming that the shooter “is a Jihadi and they want to cover it up”:


Oh come on, who covers up things like jihadists? What? Too soon? Well, remember a couple of weeks ago when the UK detained a couple of Alt Right / Alt Lite / Diet Alt Lite whatever the fuck they call themselves activists got arrested in the UK? Well there was this.

Two far-right activists were detained and deported when they attempted to enter the United Kingdom this weekend, triggering outrage among right-wing media personalities in the U.S. and Europe.

On Friday, far-right YouTube vlogger Brittany Pettibone and her boyfriend, Austrian “Identitarian” activist Martin Sellner, were detained by United Kingdom border police for three days, after which they were deported back to Austria. Pettibone frequently affiliates with right-wing extremists and has earned a spot in the hearts and minds of alt-right activists by flirting with white nationalism, such as the idea that it’s “our fault” if white people become a minority race. She also used to co-host a podcast with the explicitly alt-right personality Tara McCarthy.

Documents provided to Pettibone explain that immigration authorities denied her entry because she intended to work with Tommy Robinson, an anti-Muslim activist employed by Rebel Media, and was carrying “leaflets with scenarios regarding possible violence” at a speech Sellner was scheduled to give.


Conspiracy theorist “journalist” Laura Loomer felt the need to chime in that she would not be flying to the U.K. “to join the sisterhood of traveling detainees”:

Which is definitely true. And why am I not surprised that Laura is friends with those lunatics? I mean Jack Posobiec and Mike Cernovich are also Diet Low Calorie Alt Lite, and they also make shit up as they go along. Remember that Julius Caesar play from last year I talked about? Guess what?

A rightwing protester has been charged with trespassing after interrupting a New York production of Julius Caesar during the assassination scene and shouting: “This is violence against Donald Trump.”

The protester, who later identified herself as Laura Loomer, interrupted the Shakespeare in the Park production on Friday night and shouted “this is political violence against the right” while audience members booed and told her to get off the stage.

The incident was filmed by Jack Posobiec, a rightwing provocateur best known for helping to spread the Pizzagate conspiracy theory. He stood up as Loomer was escorted off stage by security guards and yelled at the crowd: “You are all Goebbels. You are all Nazis like Joseph Goebbels … You are inciting terrorists. The blood of Steve Scalise is on your hands.”

Oh come on, Laura, if you’re gonna accuse someone of being Hitler, for one you should take a look at that president who you admire so much. And second, you need to hang with some real Nazis. I’m not talking your run of the mill tiki torch, khaki wearing Nazis. I’m talking real fucking Nazis.

Meanwhile, the radical right was busy creating a troll storm buttressed by popular right wing websites like Hotair.com, which warned that "An Army of Illegal Aliens is Marching on America." By Saturday afternoon, the hashtag, #stopthecaravan was trending on Twitter. The SPLC hate tracker, which automatically detects trends among a population of far-right Twitter accounts, registered #stopthecaravan as trending.

Also on Saturday, the neo-Nazi Website, Daily Stormer, warned of "Brown Hordes on the Move," and provided a phone number urging readers to call the White House. After Trump's tweets, the Daily Stormer posted a follow-up article on Sunday arguing that the president "has at least heard us."

The notorious hate site Stormfront warned of "an avalanche of mud" heading for the U.S. border. As one poster on the neo-Nazi forum put it, "We should exercise our second amendment rights and meet them at the border, guns in hand."

Other racists began "doxing" the organizers of the migrant march. On The Right Stuff forum, Michael Peinovich posted an urgent request for readers to call the White House and a poster in the thread put up the contact information for the group organizing the caravan, Pueblo Sin Fronteras, urging its racist followers to email them. Others encouraged readers to attack the group's Facebook page. On Peinovich's Twitter feed, he retweeted a post with the contact information for the group, including phone numbers and emails. In the same thread, a Twitter user named "Frex" posted Pueblos Sin Fronteras organizer Alex Mensing's Facebook page, including photos of his family, writing, "Now is the time to go out and mine all his social media before he goes private."

Yeah Laura, there’s some real fucking Nazis for you. And guess what? They all vote for Trump! That’s Laura Loomer, this week’s This Fucking Gal.

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Holy shit, Alex Jones has had quite the week and if you think we're not going to include him in our weekly show you are wrong, very wrong! You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir! So our good friends at Right Wing Watch (really, the Top 10 wouldn't exist without them) went to his press conference over the weekend. In case you're unaware, Infowars is currently facing multiple lawsuits for slander (shocker) and Alex put on quite the show to address the current problems facing the conspiracy theory site. RWW went to the taping and well, it's like seeing Alex put on a live broadcast of Infowars.

Infowars host and nationally known conspiracy theorist Alex Jones traveled to Washington, D.C., this week to host a press conference aimed at rallying support for Infowars hosts and guests while they face defamation lawsuits and battle against what they claim is undue censorship from social media platforms.

The press event at the National Press Club and a follow-up event at a nearby hotel failed to deliver any major revelations about the lawsuits Jones and his team are facing, apart from an announcement that Jones and his legal counsel had moved that one of the cases against him be dismissed. This predictable announcement was accompanied by more than four hours of press briefings that resembled a typical day on “The Alex Jones Show.”

Early yesterday morning, Jones and his allies kicked off a press conference they said would address the multiple lawsuits that Infowars and its guests have been named in. But the conference quickly became just another venue to advance one of Infowars’ main objectives: attacking and delegitimizing credible news media.

First on deck was pro-Trump pundit and One America News contributor Jack Posobiec, who has appeared often on Infowars. He read excerpts from an Eleanor Roosevelt speech about the importance of freedom and said afterward that he wanted to keep his appearance focused on the vague concept of individual liberty, rather than commenting on the defamation lawsuits that Jones and his crew are facing.

So here's a few of the greatest hits - and gee would you be surprised to learn that he blamed Soros for everything? And that most of his friends including Jerome Corsi and Roger Stone are also under indictment?

First on deck was pro-Trump pundit and One America News contributor Jack Posobiec, who has appeared often on Infowars. He read excerpts from an Eleanor Roosevelt speech about the importance of freedom and said afterward that he wanted to keep his appearance focused on the vague concept of individual liberty, rather than commenting on the defamation lawsuits that Jones and his crew are facing.

But soon afterward, a host of Infowars staff and regular guests, including GOP “dirty trickster” operative Roger Stone, Infowars Washington bureau chief Jerome Corsi, Infowars reporters Lee Ann McAdoo and Millie Weaver, Sputnik’s Lee Stranahan and Gateway Pundit White House reporter Lucian Wintrich, joined Jones to speak at the podium about the lawsuits and the threat they claimed these lawsuits pose to their First Amendment rights. Jones made a point to tell press conference attendees that the National Press Club had removed its logo from the podium it lent to Infowars for the briefing.

And then there was this:

Jones said he had been sued 13 times in the last year, for which he blamed the Right’s favorite bogeyman, billionaire George Soros. Like many of his guest speakers, Jones claimed that the lawsuits against him were designed to destroy the First Amendment, which he says would be the first step in an alleged plot to repeal other constitutional protections.

Jones said that the mainstream media “killed itself” and has since “circled their wagons” to defang the First Amendment and censor content creators like Infowars that have experienced success on non-traditional platforms like YouTube. Jones compared Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey to a communist dictator and alleged that the website ranking service Alexa had been rigged to disadvantage his website.

And then they of course brought up QAnon. If I were to put my finger on it I would say someone at Infowars is Q. It's entirely possible - they know way too much about it.

Afterward, Corsi took the stage to discuss QAnon, the anonymous author of more than one thousand cryptic riddles on 4Chan and 8Chan that Corsi and other conspiracy theorists believe to be a top-ranking Trump administration official. QAnon and the related conspiracy theory known as “The Storm” are topics that Corsi spends literal hours each day attempting to decode.

“QAnon is military intelligence and close to Trump,” Corsi said. “And the intelligence we’re getting, that we’ve explained on Infowars, really is a lot of the inside script.”

When I asked Jones about his prior claims that the White House had asked that Jerome Corsi cover the transparently insane “QAnon” conspiracy theory, he told me, “That’s private stuff.”

Alex, keep doing what you are doing. But that’s not the only nonsense Alex was up to this week. Alex well, is straight up crazy. Of course you know that every single mass shooting, Alex is quick to call the shooting a false flag. Well after the horrifying gas attack in Syria this week, guess what?

Yesterday, conspiracy theory architect Alex Jones echoed the Assad regime and called the chemical attack a “false flag” launched by Syrian rebel forces that was meant to keep the U.S. and other world powers engaged in Syria’s civil war.

“It has every hallmark of a false flag. And why does it have every hallmark of a false flag? The Russians have announced they’re pulling out a month ago, the United States announces it’s going to pull out a week ago—President Trump. The globalists openly want to keep us there and break the country into three parts. This is a big, big deal,” Jones said.

He added, “It’s so obvious that they’re trying to suck us into a war.”

Infowars editor-at-large Paul Joseph Watson also uploaded his own video defending the Assad regime from accusations that it was behind the chemical attacks in Douma.

“With the Syrian army and Russia on the verge of defeating ISIS and jihadist rebels in the town of Douma, they launch a massive chemical weapons attack that brings global condemnation, inviting massive U.S. airstrikes across the country and we’re just supposed to swallow this entire narrative without question,” Watson said. “No. That’s insane.”

I mean come on, when Paul Joseph Watson calls you out for being insane, that’s pretty fucking insane all right! Thank you audience! But that wasn’t the most batshit crazy thing Alex has said this week, I mean who are we kidding?

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones told Infowars listeners today that liberal leaders in the tech industry, politics and media—who Jones refers to as “the globalists”—want to brutally murder people in the Midwest, rape Infowars viewers’ wives and children, and starve conservatives in forced labor camps.

Jones complained that we here at Right Wing Watch present “the great truths” that he espouses at Infowars as if they might be wildly dangerous conspiracy theories. He also dissed conservative websites that criticize Infowars and claimed he was working to fight a “New World Order” led by globalists he believes want to brutally murder most of America.

“They want power and they want to direct everybody and they want to kill the Midwest. They don’t want to just reorganize things. They want a giant blood-letting. It’s their religion. They hate flyover country, they hate bitter clingers. Hillary [Clinton] hates you. They all hate you,” Jones said.

He added, “They want to put you in a forced labor camp and watch you starve to death because it makes them feel powerful. They want to rape your wife. They want—just like in East Germany—if you want to be in the theater or be involved, you have to have sex with the party officials. They want to be able to kill and rape whoever they want. They want authoritarianism to carry out criminal operations and the raping of your children.”

As to what that is, we’re totally unclear. Between that and the interview with Mr. Draft Dodger Poopy Pants Ted Nugent, this honestly is not the craziest thing Alex has said lately. Last week, he said this about democrats in Wisconsin and Michigan:

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones told Infowars listeners today that liberal leaders in the tech industry, politics and media—who Jones refers to as “the globalists”—want to brutally murder people in the Midwest, rape Infowars viewers’ wives and children, and starve conservatives in forced labor camps.

Jones complained that we here at Right Wing Watch present “the great truths” that he espouses at Infowars as if they might be wildly dangerous conspiracy theories. He also dissed conservative websites that criticize Infowars and claimed he was working to fight a “New World Order” led by globalists he believes want to brutally murder most of America.

“They want power and they want to direct everybody and they want to kill the Midwest. They don’t want to just reorganize things. They want a giant blood-letting. It’s their religion. They hate flyover country, they hate bitter clingers. Hillary [Clinton] hates you. They all hate you,” Jones said.

He added, “They want to put you in a forced labor camp and watch you starve to death because it makes them feel powerful. They want to rape your wife. They want—just like in East Germany—if you want to be in the theater or be involved, you have to have sex with the party officials. They want to be able to kill and rape whoever they want. They want authoritarianism to carry out criminal operations and the raping of your children.”


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! What is it with this guy and his weird obsession with rape and child rape? Yes this are horrifying crimes. But you know what? We don’t obsess over them the way Infowars and Infowars fans do! I could sit here all day and show you all the batshit crazy stuff Alex Jones said last week. Man, he went off the deep end. Which really isn’t that hard for him to do. Stuff like this:

Alex Jones, the nation’s most notorious conspiracy theorist, told Infowars listeners today that he would happily move to Mexico if it became “beautiful everywhere like it is in some spots” because he is “not afraid of brown people” unless they turn into “leftists.”

Today on “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones was discussing the “caravan” of Central American immigrants currently traveling through Mexico and hoping to enter the United States.

“I want to see these countries industrialized. I want to see them first-world. I want to see Mexico beautiful everywhere like it is in some spots and first-world. I’ll go move down there,” Jones said.

He added, “I’m not afraid of brown people. I’m afraid of brown people turning into leftists that hate my guts just like white leftists.”

So it doesn’t matter if your ultra far right brown people come into this country, but those scary liberal brown people are the ones he worries about! Watch out, Alex, they might want to give you health care and have that tin foil hat surgically removed from your head! But apparently there’s a holocaust going on that we don’t know about! Where did you hear that crazy shit from? From Infowars? You betcha!

Alex Jones, the unhinged conspiracy theorist leading Infowars, claimed that “globalists” are utilizing radiation coming from mobile phones to carry out a “silent, invisible holocaust.”

On today’s episode of “The Alex Jones Show,” a major topic of discussion was the supposed health risks associated with radiation coming from cell phones’ wireless transmissions. As Jones was ranting about the alleged risks, he took a bizarre turn to claim that leaders in the tech industry, political sphere, and corporate world are using cell phone radiation as part of a plan to execute humanity.

“If you want to talk about something that’s killing millions of people—not 40-something—how about you talk about radiation? How about we have walk-outs in schools over cell towers on top of the schools? How about we have walk-outs over cell phone radiation? How about we have walk-outs over all of that?” Jones said.

He added, “Because this is what kills thousands of times what guns do every year. And this is how the globalists in this silent, invisible holocaust are killing everybody in their plan.”

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font]

Oh hey you know what time it is? It’s time for this!

Yes it’s time once again for People Are Dumb. Because as you should know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. I want to start with this story out of Anchorage, Alaska, and people, don’t even try to fight a moose. Because a moose is one of the most dangerous and deadly animals to deal with, and if you even attempt to fight a moose, the moose will win 10 times out of 10. If you try to kick a moose’s ass, the moose will kick yours 10 times harder. And it doesn’t take a wildlife expert to know that one, just 5 minutes on Youtube. Do your best impression of the opening credits for Monty Python and the Holy Grail here.

(Newser) – A man was injured north of Anchorage after a moose that he had just kicked stomped his foot in return, state officials said. KTVA-TV reported the man escaped with major injuries in the encounter Thursday with the moose and her calf, the AP reports. "It sounds like the moose were on a trail and in this case, it sounds like the guy was trying to go through them," State Department of Fish and Game spokesman Ken Marsh says. "That's never a good idea." The two moose left the area after the man had his foot stomped, says Alaska Troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters.

"I am not a biologist, but as a lifelong Alaskan I would advise people not to go around kicking moose," Peters says. Moose have vast leg strength, Marsh said. "If you get into a kicking contest with a moose, guess who's going to win?" South-central Alaska has seen a number of violent incidents involving moose this spring, including a man who had a moose swipe at him with its hoof while feeding it and a cocker spaniel attacked by a moose in an Anchorage yard. Marsh says moose sightings are on the rise as females prepare for calving season in mid-May.

Yes, the people responsible for producing this story, have been sacked. So next up I want to talk about this story out of Denmark that wouldn’t be out of place in a Simpsons gag. So if you’re trying to blow something up, you might want to read the directions on how to blow that said something up next time because otherwise this happens.

A Danish cultural centre has been damaged after a 53-metre high silo fell the wrong way while being demolished.

In video of the explosion in the town of Vordingborg, onlookers cheer the detonation, but then watch in astonishment as the tower toppled towards the waterfront library and music school.

No one was injured in the accident.

Denmark’s explosives association said preparations for the demolition seemed to be correct, Danish newspaper BT reported.


So yeah people definitely read the directions next time! So next up in “People Are Dumb”, how does one deal with a problem of serial masturbation? I know! Pizza! Because everything is better with pizza, don’t you think?

Dart then instituted a program that rewarded "serial masturbators" with pizza if they went 30 days without a sexual assault or masturbating incident, according to the lawsuit.

Since detainees who had never exposed themselves were not eligible to receive pizza as a reward, the program had a reverse effect, leading to an "increase in exposure incidents" since the detainees without prior incidents "were now incentivized to commit indecent exposure and masturbation in order to qualify for a pizza reward," court documents state.

The plaintiffs have also filed class-action lawsuits with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the U.S. Department of Justice, alleging discrimination and retaliation in violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Those charges are currently being investigated, according to the release.

"Some women suffer numerous incidents of exposure and/or masturbation in a single day even as male attorneys are not targeted for these incidents," the release states.

Wade Wilson is right – what situation isn’t improved by pizza? Next up – dinosaurs! And this again wouldn’t seem too out of place as a Simpsons joke. We go to Canon City, Colorado for this one.

CANON CITY, Colo. (AP) - Everyone knows dinosaurs are extinct. But this is a case of one that was extinguished.

It was a 24-foot high electronic Tyrannosaurus rex featured at the Royal Gorge Dinosaur Experience in Colorado.

Thursday morning, the T. rex began smoldering before catching fire.

Both the dinosaur and spectators were fully involved; park visitors stood and watched as flames spread through the dinosaur.

At times the T. rex appeared to be breathing flames.

Next up – newspapers. Yes not even our nation’s newspapers are immune from stupidity, or user error. Take this example from the Denver Post which posted this:

The Denver Post's guide to Coors Field published Friday had a small issue -- the huge picture on the front of the newspaper's Life section isn't of Coors Field. It's Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia.

The photo spread quickly across social media Friday morning. The Post eventually responded by tweeting that it was sorry for the mistake and including a picture of Coors Field.

Can we show that? Because it’s pretty spectacular:

And finally this week for People Are Dumb – 911. Yes that emergency hotline. I love 911 abuse stories, like the kind of person who calls 911 to report that McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets. We could do an entire People Are Dumb just dedicated to crazy people dialing 911. And the British equivalent of 911 is 112. Well, police in Cambridgeshire, England decided to do a study of how many 112 calls originated from fast food restaurants, McDonalds in particular. Well…

Police call-outs to or about fast food chain McDonald's have more than tripled in three years across Cambridgeshire.

The crimes ranged from reports of missing persons to violence and domestic incidents, a freedom of information request revealed.

The News’ previously told how the McDonald's in Ely Leisure Park has become a focus for police - with customers being put off their happy meals because of youngsters constantly causing trouble.

Last year was by far the busiest with 17 call-outs about incidents relating to the fast food chain, more than double the previous year.

Over the last three years there have been 26 recorded cases of incidents related to McDonald's across Cambridgeshire.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 4
[br] [/font]

16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! I hope you all filled out your brackets! This week, we’re live from the home of the Los Angeles Chargers, the beautiful Stub Hub Center in Carson, California. And we have not one, but two exciting matchups this week! Last week –if there’s one thing Florida does well – it’s shoot first and ask questions later, and they totally brought their A game against Looooooosiana. Meanwhile in the fight for Fiscal Irresponsibility, Wisconsin utterly routed the casino moguls in Nevada. See? That’s what happens when you get Koch money – it goes far! And this week we’ve got another double header for the final week of Round 1 – and we’ve saved the best for last as Virginia looks to unseat Texas as the king of batshit, while we have a pair of first timers – Utah and Missouri – looking to unseat Alabama as the king of the Family Values conference. Can they do it? Let’s get out our brackets so you can follow along!

[font size="6"]Match 1: Batshit Conference: Virginia Vs. Texas [/font]

[font size="4"]Virginia[/font]

So the Commonwealth State is a new state to the Stupidest State contest. Yes this is their first time in the NFFSA tournament. Virginia is right next to Washington, DC. It is the home of world class universities like the University of Virginia, George Mason University and Virginia Tech. It’s also the home of uber religious schools like Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University and Pat Robertson’s Regent University. So how did they get here? Well, Charlottesville proved to be a huge array of white supremacy and stupidity. And Virginia is going up against last year’s champions. But white supremacy and religious insanity aren’t the only things Virginia is known for. In fact it’s a toxic stew of stupidity. After all it’s the home of the Confederacy and morons who still don’t know what the Confederacy means.

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (WDBJ7) -- The Virginia Flaggers hoisted a 30' x 50' Confederate battle flag on a 120' pole along I-64 near Charlottesville.

According to a spokesperson for the Virginia Flaggers group, the flag, named "the Charlottesville I-64 Spirit of Defiance Memorial Battle Flag" was "dedicated to the glory of God, and will fly in honor and memory of all Confederate soldiers".

The group believes that the flag symbolizes a "duty to see that the true history of the South is presented to future generations".

This flag is the 27th memorial battle flag raised on major interstates and roadways across Virginia.


Yeah so Virginia is home to the hardcore confederates. So you know people say the youth are our future, but when you have youth like these… there’s nowhere to go but up from here, right?

Over the weekend, a video of the Virginia Tech women’s lacrosse team singing along to the song “Freaky Friday” by Lil Dicky was posted on Twitter. During the video players can be heard singing along to the lyrics, including the word “n-----.”

"Following an away match on Saturday, March 24, a member of our squad posted a video to social media of the team singing along to a song that included derogatory lyrics,” said head coach John Sung in a statement emailed to the Collegiate Times. “We are engaged in conversations within the campus community to share our sincere apology.”

Coaches as well as members of the Virginia Tech Athletics administration met with the full team to discuss the video that was posted. Sung considers this to be a teaching moment for the team and hopes the team will be able to learn from their actions as they move forward.

“We have confidence that the team will learn from this mistake and understand that these actions reflect poorly on our program and do not represent the values of our program or the principles of the university,” Sung said.

[font size="4"]Texas [/font]

Hey everyone let’s give it up for last year’s champions! Yeah!! They are back, they are rested, and they look ready to do some damage. But Virginia with their racism and hardcore white supremacy has been a proven tough fight for the champs. Everyone knows what Texas is the home of – it’s the home of world class sports teams like the Rangers, Cowboys, Spurs, Astros, Texans, Stars, and Mavericks. It’s also the home of world class universities like Texas A&M, Baylor University, Rice University, and Stephen F. Austin University. So what propelled Texas to the king of the NFFSA last year? Well it was a toxic stew of university scandals, doomsday preppers, and of course Ted Cruz. So what are the champs up to since we last saw them? Well they’re still feeling the heat from the Baylor Scandal.

Baylor University paid former football coach Art Briles $15.1 million and former university President Ken Starr $4.5 million after both were fired in 2016 {yes, that Ken Starr}.

The disclosure was included in Baylor’s IRS Form 990 for the 2016 tax year, which was recently filed.

Briles was fired and Starr was removed as president in May 2016 after an independent investigation found a universitywide “fundamental failure” in handling sexual assault reports. Starr later resigned as chancellor and law professor.

“Baylor stands by the unprecedented corrective actions the Board of Regents made in May of 2016, which included leadership changes within the university administration and athletic department and the acceptance of 105 recommendations to improve our processes, communication, training and response related to incidents of sexual violence within our campus community,” the university said in a statement released Friday.

Read more: http://www.wacotrib.com/news/higher_education/baylor-paid-briles-million-starr-million-after-removal-amid-sexual/article_2bdda9a0-43d6-5e13-94dc-72b28c1db737.html

I don’t remember that on the open carry list! So what is Texas also the home of that would make them repeat the batshit conference? Well they also have batshit crazy street preachers!

DENTON -- About 20 self-described "street preachers," some of whom held anti-gay and anti-Black Lives Matter signs, caused a stir Thursday on the University of North Texas campus, where more than 300 students gathered to counter protest or watch the ordeal.

The preachers had been attending the National Street Preachers Conference in Arlington, according to two preachers at the campus. One of the men, 26-year-old Sebastian Bryan, described the group as "regular Bible-believing Christians" who wanted to show people "their need for a savior to call people to repentance," he said.

At least two signs included Bible verses, while others included provocative phrases such as "Every Muslim is a Jihadist" and "AIDS: Judgement or Cure?"

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh my god we have a major upset brewing in the tournament! Texas was heavily favored to repeat as conference champions but due to heavy injuries they lost big time. Utterly routed by the young, upstart Virginia team! Final score – Virginia wins by 32! Final score – 100 – 78! Virginia celebrates on the court and the champs go home defeated! Wow!

[font size="6"]Match 2: Family Values Conference: Utah Vs Missouri[/font]

[font size="4"]Utah[/font]

Utah is a new state we have not yet covered. It is the home of some of the world’s most beautiful scenery, and especially for America. It’s home to world class skiing – the home of a former Olympic site – Park City, Utah. It’s also the home of a very unique national monument – the Four Corners national monument! Yes, Utah is the home of a monument where the borders of 4 states touch – Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. The state of Utah is one of the smaller states in America population wise. And it’s also the home of the Mormon Church. As the state is heavily dominated by this religion and its’ reflected in most of its’ laws. In fact the Mormon church is so crazy that this is the type of shit residents in Salt Lake City have to endure.

Marissa Smith sat in her Mormon bishop’s office in the same chair her boyfriend had the week before. He had looked across the same wooden desk as she was now. He had stared at the same plain walls. Maybe he had nervously played with his hands, too — she wasn’t sure.

She wasn’t sure, though, if he had been asked the same questions.

“What time of night do you kiss?” the local lay leader pressed Smith about her relationship. She answered, but she didn’t want to. He continued on:

“Where do you go with your boyfriend?”

“Are you sitting up or laying down?”

“Was any clothing off?”

“Then he asked me if I was surprised by what happens when boys orgasm,” Smith recalled. “I didn’t even know how to answer that question. I didn’t want to talk to my bishop again.”

Read more: https://www.sltrib.com/religion/local/2018/03/30/mormons-set-to-march-through-salt-lake-city-calling-for-an-end-to-bishops-interviews-with-children-about-sexual-matters/

Yeah that is happening! When the Mormon church gets in your business, they get really far up in your business! That sounded wrong, didn’t it? But the good news is that the Mormon church has taken a dip into LGBT rights. But don’t expect them to dive head first. You got to start somewhere!

As Russell M. Nelson ascended to the top of the LDS Church and its all-male hierarchy, the question came: What about women?

“We love ’em,” Nelson quipped at the Jan. 16 news conference announcing his presidency of the nearly 16 million-member Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The 93-year-old leader (as well as his two counselors in the faith’s governing First Presidency) praised the mothers and daughters in their lives who had produced missionary sons and bishops and had served as “influencers” to the men.

The trio made no mention of single women in the global faith, presidents of the all-female LDS Relief Society, or the armies of women who work at every level of Mormon congregational life no matter their marital status. Nor did the three speak of recent strides by the church toward gender equity or even hint at the word “feminist.”

Read more: https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2018/02/22/where-mormon-church-is-on-women-tk/

[font size="6"]Missouri[/font]

Last time we saw the Show Me State, they were involved in a bitter, intense fight between residents of Furgeson, Missouri and an out of control police department that was willing to shoot first and ask questions later. But this year – Missouri is in the news for a far different reason. But first you know that Missouri is the home of such universities as Mizzou. It’s also the home of world class sports teams including the Kansas City Royals, the St Louis Cardinals, and the St. Louis Blues. So why is Missouri back in the news? Well there’s this!

In the dark before sunrise, high school sophomore Brittany Koerselman, belly bulging, seven months pregnant and feeling like a cow, tucked herself into the borrowed white prom dress that would be her wedding gown.

The Iowa teen didn’t want to be a child bride. But the cops were coming.

She was 15, not even old enough to drive on her own. Jeremie Rook, her boyfriend and the father of her baby, was 21.

It didn’t matter how “infatuatedly in love” she was then with everything about Jeremie — his long chocolate hair, his bad-boy attitude, tongue stud and 28 tattoos. In Iowa, a 21-year-old having sex with a 15-year-old is statutory rape. The evidence was alive in her womb.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/state/missouri/article204287484.html

Holy shit indeed! This is a stunning level of evil here folks. Not only having to be victim of that, but also having to be forced to get married to the asshole and carry his baby is a stunning, jaw dropping level of evil! And they tried to restrict it, but….

JEFFERSON CITY (AP) — The Missouri House has passed a bill to ban marriages of children under 15 years old.

House members voted 95-50 Monday to send the bill to the Senate. Backers say it would help stop abuse through coerced marriages, while opponents argue it would take away parents' rights to decide whether to allow their children to marry.

Children ages 15-17 now can get married with a parent's permission. Those younger than 15 need approval from a judge.

The bill would require 15- to 17-year-olds to get a judge's approval following a court hearing. Children 14 years old or younger couldn't marry.

Read more: https://www.news-leader.com/story/news/politics/2018/02/19/missouri-house-votes-restrict-child-marriages/353758002/

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

No doubt about this one. Missouri utterly destroys Utah by a whopping 27 points! They will go on to face Alabama for Family Values supremacy in the next round. Final score – 85 – 58.

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

The Elite 8 has been set folks! Now as the rules dictate we will do an expansion round for each of these conferences for the conference championship. Single elimination. The winner moves on. The loser goes home. Next week, we’re live from the home of the San Jose Sharks, HP Pavilion, and we will see Florida take on the champions Montana in a fight for Gun Nut Supremacy.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Suicidal Tendencies[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to dedicate April to celebrating all things punk rock. There’s a lot in punk rock right now. You have Punk Rock Bowling in Vegas, you have the Punk In Drublic festival, and the Flogging Molly cruise all happening. So with that in mind, April is punk month here at the Top 10. Which means I want to see some circle pits! And this time we’re kicking things off with a legendary punk band from Venice, California. Their latest EP is called “Get Your Fight On!”, and you can see them at Punk Rock Bowling in Las Vegas on May 27th, playing the title track from that album, give it up for Suicidal Tendencies!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: City National Grove Of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-12: Wheel Of Corruption & The Goblet Of Fire Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-12: Wheel Of Corruption & The Goblet Of Fire Edition

Ed. Note - due to a scheduling conflict, the Top 10 will be posted early today! Also I won't be able to get to the YouTube shooting and the oh-so-predictable RW reactions to that, since it happened at the time we were putting together this week's edition, but we will cover it in full next week. In the meantime, our good friends at Right Wing Watch do a good job of covering the worst of it: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/these-are-some-of-the-worst-right-wing-reactions-to-the-shooting-at-youtube-hq/ And now back to our regularly scheduled programming! Enjoy!

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sign up now and get a free iPhone 8 on us! We are back everybody! I want to start by saying I am not going to talk about the craze of condom snorting – yes that’s a thing. And it’s as disgusting as it sounds. What? You see the wheel here on stage, I got my sous chef Fernando coming, I would like to hang onto the contents of my stomach thanks! Yeah fuck that story and everyone who participates in that horrifically disgusting act. No, fuck them! Seriously! Let’s move on to much happier news. Congratulations to the Villanova Wildcats for winning the NCAA tournament this year. Michigan Wolverines, you put up a good fight, and you can rest assured that you will not have to go to the White House to meet Trump. Yeah remember when we had a president who wasn’t a complete jackass? Those were good times. And you know this might be one of the most insane NCAA tournaments I’ve ever seen. You had ups, you had downs. You had highs. You had lows. You had lows getting beaten by highs. You had highs getting beaten by lows. You had 98 year old nuns. There was a number 1 seed getting upset by a number 16 seed. And Duke lost. But all in all this was also one of the best NCAA tournaments I’ve ever seen. It sucks for Sister Jean, I mean America was really pulling for a win for Loyola Chicago because of her. I mean who wouldn’t want to see a 98 year old nun watch her team win it all for the first time. And one of my favorite things about the NCAA tournament is how many crazy prizes are offered every year for someone who completes the proverbial “perfect bracket”, I mean come on. NOBODY HAS DONE THIS, OK!!!! You have a better shot of winning the Powerball than you do getting a perfect bracket! And both of those have some incredibly insane odds. But hey they’re all like religion – you can’t get saved if you don’t play! So seriously stop offering a billion dollars if someone gets a perfect bracket. All you’re doing is just getting our e-mail addresses so you can hawk your crap. Stop it. Just stop it. OK enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first you got to see John Oliver’s epic smackdown of Sinclair Broadcasting:

In the first slot this week is Gun Nut Apologists (1). They’re getting desperate folks, and Parkland survivor David Hogg is really getting to them. Taking the second slot this week is Roseanne (2). Yes the star of the hit sitcom revival is a conservative idiot – and has been posting bullshit on Twitter, and attracted the attention of our ratings-obsessed president. In the third slot is said ratings-obsessed president Donald J. Trump (3). Taking the 4th slot this week is also Donald Trump (4) because there was yet another Trump firing. And that means another installment of the Trumper games! Taking the 5th slot, we’ve got a new installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected” and this week – we’re finally going to add Wisconsin governor Scott Walker (5) to the list! In the 6th slot, is the latest installment of our investigative journalism series “Top 10 Investigates” (6) and this week we’re going to Victorville, California to visit a massive automotive boneyard. And when you find out why it’s there, it’s truly fascinating. Taking the 7th slot, we’ve got of course our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit (7), and this week, our resident pastor is going to predict the future since Christian republicans have already called the 2020 election! In the number 8 slot this week, we're going to educate you on an insane right wing conspiracy theory known as "The Storm" which has been popping up in the news a lot lately thanks to Roseanne and Sinclair Broadcasting, but what is it? You will soon find out. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to get drunk and discuss one of the more bizarre rules of professional hockey. What other sport has a reserve goalie rule? Well this dude nailed it! And finally this week we’re live from the Gila River Arena in sunny Phoenix, Arizona with Week 3 of Round 1 of our Stupidest State (10) tournament of champions! This time around, the casino moguls in Nevada are going for broke against Koch Industries in Wisconsin, while Florida is bringing their big guns to the dance against Louisiana! Plus we’ve got some live music for you from Portland’s finest, the Decemberists! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
[br] [/font]

Hey everybody! It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!! Yay!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Chance
- 5,000
- Infowars
- Nazis
- Go Directly To Jail
- Buy A Vowel
- North Korea
- Lawsuits
- Whammy
- Donald Trump
- People Are Dumb
- ‘Merica!
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- A Random Tweet
- 10,000
- Community Chest
- Talk Shows
- Clip Without Context
- Something Random In The News
- Fox News
- Top 10 Investigates
- Polls
- Chance
- Nukes
- Protests
- Intermission
- 15,000
- Bankrupt
- Golf
- The GOP
- Butter Beer
- Community Chest
- Florida (Obviously)
- This Fucking Guy
- Beating A Dead Horse
- Holy Shit
- Guacamole ($1.50 Extra)
- Harry Potter
- T-Shirt Cannon
- ? (Mystery Item)
- I Need A Drink
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… clip without context!

There you have it – only in the Trump era could he be giving a speech next to a guy in a giant bunny costume with a shocked look on his face. Spin it again! Guns. Folks. Really, is this where we are at in 2018? Attacking high school students? I mean come on this is fucking insane. The gun nuts just can’t stand that someone is attacking their precious death toys. I’m of course talking about the David Hogg – Laura Ingraham feud. Here’s what happened.

At least 17 major companies have now announced that they are pulling their sponsorship of Laura Ingraham’s Fox News program because of a Wednesday tweet by the anchor widely seen as mocking Parkland, Florida, school shooting survivor David Hogg.

On Friday, Byron Allen’s Entertainment Studios — whose upcoming Teddy Kennedy film “Chappaquiddick” had been promoted frequently during “The Ingraham Angle” in recent weeks — announced on Twitter that it “had pulled all Chappaquiddick ads” from the show.

The studio joined at least eight other companies on Friday in stopping ads on the show after Hogg’s Wesdnesday night call for a boycott of sponsors. Other Friday walkouts included Liberty Mutual, Office Depot, Miracle-Ear, Jenny Craig, Principal investment group, Honda, Ruby Tuesday and Atlantis resort.

That’s right! You don’t insult high school students! Especially someone with a media connection and who was the victim of a mass shooting attack! But Laura Ingraham wasn’t the only conservative attacking David Hogg this week. I give you rock music singer and guy who most likely wears adult diapers, Ted Nugent.

(CNN)National Rifle Association board member and classic rocker Ted Nugent slammed survivors of the Parkland, Florida, school shooting, calling them "liars" and "poor, mushy-brained children."

Nugent made the comments during an interview on "The Joe Pags Show," a nationally syndicated conservative radio program.

"All you have to do now is not only feel sorry for the liars, but you have to go against them and pray to God that the lies can be crushed and the liars can be silenced so that real measures can be put into place to actually save children's lives," Nugent said about the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students.

"These poor children, I'm afraid to say this and it hurts me to say this, but the evidence is irrefutable, they have no soul," he added.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/31/politics/nra-member-calls-parkland-survivors-liars/index.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I mean come on Ted, really, you’re calling these kids soulless? Need I remind you of what you did to get out of serving Vietnam?

In a series of tweets on Sunday, Reid recalled that Nugent had defecated in his pants to dodge the draft and had repeatedly been associated with pedophilia.

“Then a week before my physical, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up,” Nugent told High Times in a 1977 interview. “[T]hey made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!” Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat.”

After Reid’s mini-tweet storm, she also pointed out Nugent’s history in a segment on MSNBC.

“That is Ted Nugent who in 1977 gave an interview saying he took meth and poohed his pants so he wouldn’t have to go to Vietnam and reportedly adopted a 17-year-old girl so he could have sex with her,” she pointed out.

Yeah that was pretty much my reaction too! And then there was Sylvester Stallone’s brother and last member of Member’s Only, Frank Stallone.

Remember Frank Stallone? He’s the D-list younger brother of Sylvester Stallone who once scored a Top 10 Billboard hit in the ’80s with the ultra-cheesy ‘Far From Over,’which Sly used in his film Staying Alive. Frank was also the subject of a running gag by Saturday Night Live’s Norm McDonald during the ’90s when McDonald hosted Weekend Update.

Well, ol’ Frank is back, and he’s going after Parkland survivors because of course he is.

In a since-deleted tweet, Stallone called David Hogg a “pussy” who is getting “a little big for his britches.” He added that he was sure “someone from his age group is dying to sucker punch this rich little bitch.” Stallone finished off the tweet by claiming Hogg would “run home like the coward he is” and that the high-schooler is the “worst rep for today’s headline grabbing punk.”

This David Hogg pussy is getting a little big for his britches. I’m sure someone from his age group is dying to sucker punch this rich little bitch. Watch him run home like the coward he is . He’s the worst rep for today’s youth headline grabbing punk
— Frank Stallone (@Stallone) March 31, 2018

Read more: https://www.mediaite.com/online/sylvester-stallones-brother-calls-david-hogg-a-pssy-wants-classmates-to-sucker-punch-him/

Oh and in case you’re wondering what kind of society we live in – it’s apparently one that favors guns over, um, lives, apparently.

The NRA saw a major spike in donations following the school shooting in Parkland, Florida.

The shooting took place in February and left 17 people dead. That same month, NRA donations tripled from the month before. Federal Election Commission filings say the NRA received just under $248,000 in January. It received more than $779,000 in February.

The NRA has faced intense scrutiny since the shooting. It's not entirely clear if the donations are part of its supporters' response to that or part of a larger trend. History shows consumers display increased interest in guns and gun sales increase after mass shootings.

Some of that sales bump is likely due to fears the event will prompt stricter gun laws and make it more difficult to purchase a gun.

Oh and it gets worse from there! Some frothing at the mouth gun nut started a website dedicated exclusively to news about David Hogg, apparently so gun nuts could go harass him wherever he follows. Yeah BOOOOOOOOOO!!! Boo, I say! These idiots apparently have a screw loose.

An internet conspiracy theorist tied to Alex Jones has launched a new website dedicated to attacking gun control advocate David Hogg, and claims it’s protected by free speech.

The content on “Hoggwatch.com” features content exclusively related to the 18-year-old Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Student, who survived the February shooting that killed 17 people.

Many of the articles are written by Mike Adams, the founder of Natural News — a bombastic website seeking to debunk widely accepted scientific theories.

But Hoggwatch.com, which began publishing stories after the Feb. 14 massacre, pushes conspiracy theories that Hogg is a paid actor who wants to shift the American ideology.

Read more: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/conspiracy-theorist-launches-site-just-to-attack-david-hogg/ar-AAvpyEL?li=BBnbcA1

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[font size="8"]Roseanne
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Sweet, I win 10,000 of something. What that is, we don’t know. Spin it again! and it lands on… Poverty! So folks by now you know that the Roseanne show revival – about a blue collar, working class family that votes against their best interests – premiered to gangbuster ratings, and even got the attention of our ratings-obsessed president. You know that Trump loves him some ratings. “I have the best ratings, OK? I get nothing but 5 stars everywhere I go!”.

When “Roseanne” premiered in 1988, I was among the millions of Americans who tuned in weekly to watch the Conners navigate life in the Midwest. Although I was a kid in Los Angeles, thousands of miles from the fictional Lanford, Ill., the show’s humorous, caustic portrayal of a working-class family struggling to make ends meet resonated with me. In the show, I saw my own family’s quest for the American Dream and how, for many living in poverty, it’s often a dream deferred.

In one of my favorite episodes, Roseanne juggles paying the bills by intentionally putting the wrong check in the wrong envelope and telling the utility company the bill never came. In another, Becky is embarrassed when she learns her mother has taken a job as a shampoo girl to provide for their family. I was Becky, not quite fully grasping that we were poor or that money was in short supply. This was the genius of Roseanne — it transcended race, class and political boundaries while appearing not to do so.

The “Roseanne” reboot, rather than working to bridge the class divide and understanding in America, attempts to insert itself into the current political moment by declaring Roseanne a Donald Trump supporter. After the premiere, Trump even called the real Roseanne to congratulate her on the series reboot.

That was pretty much my reaction to the Roseanne reboot too, sir. So yes you know that our ratings-obsessed president called Roseanne to congratulate her. Which is quite amazing that Trump actually paid a compliment to somebody, we would expect him to do the opposite at this point!

RICHFIELD, Ohio —Unusually quiet for the better part of a week, President Trump let loose Thursday during an infrastructure speech that also featured presidential riffs on the border wall, the Democrats, Syria, trade, North and South Korea ... and Roseanne.

Praising the high viewership for this week's premiere of the revived Roseanne sitcom, starring Trump supporter Roseanne Barr, the president told a group of union workers in Ohio: "Look at her ratings! Look at her ratings!"

Trump trumpeted Barr's show during a speech designed to promote an infrastructure plan based on public-private partnerships and reduced federal regulations.

"We will breathe new life into your very run-down highways, railways and waterways," Trump told supportive union members. "We'll transform our roads and bridges from a source of endless frustration into a source of absolutely incredible pride."

Ah yup! There it is! There’s the Trump we all know! He just can’t stop talking about ratings, can he? I mean they’re yuge! The biggest! Nobody gets better ratings than he does! So what is the real controversy with Roseanne? Why is this show such a big deal in the Trump era? Well…

So it should come as no surprise that the new Roseanne — technically a continuation of the original series, but also a different show in some subtle ways — would reignite this old debate between where Roseanne the actress ended and Roseanne the character began. Except, because this is 2018 and everything eventually turns into a discussion about Donald Trump, the political polarity has been completely flipped. The arguments now are less about Roseanne’s bold examinations of feminism and class both on and offscreen and more about how she’s perhaps the president’s most famous supporter.

These arguments have become a vast, interlocking set of controversies that are impossible to separate, because each is necessary to understand the other. For instance, writing off Roseanne entirely — because it homogenizes Trump supporters as people just worried about their families or the country — misses the ways the series depicts Roseanne as a hectoring bully who convinced her sister, Jackie, not to vote for Hillary Clinton at the last minute. (She voted for Jill Stein instead.) But praising Roseanne as a series about the self-delusions of Trump supporters misses the ways it refuses to talk about the harsh realities of living in Trump’s America for people who aren’t straight and white.

Dude, he seriously smiles like he’s in a doctors office and he gets off on the rectal exam. Yeah just try and contemplate that image for a minute. Go on, I’ll wait! But now let’s take a look at the real Roseanne – the one who you don’t see on TV. This is where the controversy comes in.

Actress Roseanne Barr faced heavy criticism on social media this weekend after posting a tweet apparently indicating support for an online conspiracy theory claiming President Trump is involved in combating a global trafficking ring tied to the "deep state."

In a tweet posted Friday night, the "Roseanne" star alleged that Trump was breaking up human trafficking rings and freeing "hundreds" of children in sex slavery around the world every month.

"President Trump has freed so many children held in bondage to pimps all over this world. Hundreds each month. He has broken up trafficking rings in high places everywhere. notice that. I disagree on some things, but give him benefit of doubt-4 now," the actress wrote.

I’m with the kid on this one. And in case you couldn’t think it could get any more ridiculous, wait until you see who supports Roseanne! And with friends like these, you know, who needs enemies? This was a miracle? I think even Jesus somewhere is giving a facepalm at this one!

Over the weekend, Roseanne Barr posted a tweet praising President Trump for supposedly having “freed so many children held in bondage to pimps all over this world” and “broken up trafficking rings in high places everywhere,” which was a rather confusing statement to anyone not familiar with the right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm.”

Barr’s since-removed tweet was rooted in a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory alleging that the special counsel investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Unhinged conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin has been one of the leading voices promoting this conspiracy theory and she was overjoyed with Barr’s tweet, declaring in a video she posted over the weekend that Barr’s tweet was “nothing sort of a miracle.”

“It is just absolutely amazing and it is nothing short of a miracle that Roseanne, with her controversial viewpoints and the fact that she is exposing the deep state child sex trafficking and elite pedophilia, that she has been given this platform,” Crokin said. “I have to pinch myself because I am still finding it hard to believe. It is so amazing for our community.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Bankrupt? No!!!!!

Spin it again. And it lands on… Donald Trump. Yes, the president who, if you were to compare him to any James Bond villain, he would be a real life Auric Goldfinger. And he probably would blow up Fort Knox. But let’s think about this here for a minute – He loves gold. He has an insane plan to dominate the world. And he’s been accused of cheating at golf. Yeah he’s a real life Goldfinger all right! So on the eve of the holiday known as Easter, how does Donald J. Trump celebrate the holiest of Saturdays? In the most Donald J. Trump way possible!

President Donald Trump began his morning on Holy Saturday with tweets blasting California Gov. Jerry Brown and Amazon before heading to the golf course.

The president, who is spending the Easter weekend at his Mar-a-Lago residence in Palm Beach, Florida, called Brown “Moonbeam.”

He also slammed the U.S. Post Office and Amazon over postage rates, tweeting that Amazon “must pay real costs (and taxes) now.”

Well, I think it’s safe to say that we all are. But I can guarantee none as shocked as the look on that Easter bunny’s face. I mean can we show that again? I love this so much!

To quote the late great Freddie Mercury – “Is this real life? Or is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality”. So now that we got his Easter pre-game party out of the way, how did Trump celebrate the actual Easter? About as well as you can possibly imagine.

President Donald Trump delivered another of his classic campaign rally speeches from the White House this morning, boasting about the economy and his build-up of spending on the military, with a giant pink-eared bespectacled bunny at his side.

Trump’s address was his way of commemorating the 140th annual White House Easter Egg Roll – a tradition that dates back to 1878.

“This is a special year. Our country is doing great. You look at the economy; you look at what’s happening,” Trump told the large gathering of children standing below him on the White House lawn

“Nothing is ever easy but we have never had an economy like we have right now. And we’re going to make it bigger and better and stronger,” he beamed.

Trump also took the moment to assure egg-rollers and their parents, “Our military is now at a level, will soon be at a level, that it’s never been before.

Oh wait, ladies and gentlemen! What’s that? There is some urgent news I have to report here!

Oh and this just in – Trump has told his 1,400th lie since he took office! Ladies and gentlemen, that is the 45th president of these United States! Bravo, take a bow! You know Trump’s lies are like fine wines – each one has its’ own body and character, and they have layers of flavor. You got to give it time to ferment.

The U.S. president has now said 1,400 false things since his inauguration, an average of 3.2 per day.

Speaking in Ohio, President Donald Trump is threatening to "hold up" the trade agreement his administration just finalized with South Korea to provide more leverage for talks with North Korea. (The Associated Press)

WASHINGTON—U.S. President Donald Trump was supposed to give a speech on infrastructure. Instead, he took his audience on a dizzying ramble-journey that covered everything from the war in Syria to the sitcom Roseanne. And he was highly dishonest along the way.

Trump made 16 false claims during the Ohio address. He added five more over the course of the week for a total of 21.

He has made 1,400 false claims over the first 437 days of his presidency, an average of 3.2 per day.

Oh! Oh no he didn’t! He set the fact checker on fire! Oh the humanity!!! I mean could this possibly get any more insane? Only if Trump doubled down on his attacks on Amazon. And he most certainly did, I mean this is Donald Trump we’re talking about here! Forgive our president for he knows not of which he speaks.

President Trump once accused Verizon of making “a STUPID deal” for AOL. He ridiculed Coca-Cola as “garbage” — but said he would keep drinking it. He called both H&R Block and Nordstrom “terrible.” He said Sony had “really stupid leadership” and described executives at S&P Global, a financial firm, as “losers.”

Before and after he became president, Mr. Trump attacked tech firms, military contractors, carmakers, cellphone companies, financial firms, drug companies, air-conditioner makers, sports leagues, Wall Street giants — and many, many media companies, which he has labeled “shameful,” “dishonest,” “true garbage,” “really dumb,” “phony,” “failing” and, broadly, “the enemy of the American people.”

Lately, Mr. Trump’s antibusiness rants have become particularly menacing and caused the stocks of some companies to plunge. His Twitter posts have carried with them the threat, sometimes explicit, that he is prepared to use the power of the presidency to undermine the companies that anger him.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, long a booster of Republican presidents, is not happy. “It’s inappropriate for government officials to use their position to attack an American company,” said Neil Bradley, the executive vice president and chief policy officer of the chamber. Mr. Bradley, who did not specifically name Mr. Trump, added that criticism of companies from politicians “undermines economic growth and job creation.”

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[font size="8"]The Trumper Games: MockingTrump Pt. 1
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Let’s spin it to win it! Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round. Oh and it lands on… oh the guacamole option! Come on out here, Fernando! So I got this great plate of chips and salsa, a nice 24 ounce glass of Negra Modelo, and Fernando is coming to prepare my tableside guacamole. Fernando is our sous chef here at the Top 10. Here’s your $1.50 Fernando. OK easy on the onions, not too much tomato. Yeah look at that!

That’s Fernando everybody! All right, spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. Another firing, another week for:

Ah, welcome to yet another edition of the Trumper Games! Happy Trumper Games! So last week if you need a recap – the president eliminated another tribute! Damn it, Charlie! You brought the cheap champagne again, I want the good shit! Last week, the president eliminated Tribute McMaster. This week – the president eliminated another Tribute, this time from District 4. I will be honest, I have no idea how the districts work, I just make them up as I go. This week – the tribute that was eliminated was David Shulkin, the head of the department of Veterans Affairs. As the president would say “You’re fired!”.

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump fired Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin on Wednesday, ending weeks of speculation about the embattled administrator’s future.

Shulkin’s position in the administration had been in jeopardy since the release of a damning inspector general report last month that criticized him for wasteful and unethical actions during a 10-day official department trip last summer.

In the wake of that report, Shulkin accused subordinates and White House operatives of working to undermine him because of a host of policy disagreements. In recent days, he backed away from promises to purge his department of those enemies and largely avoided the press.

The move leaves the Department of Veterans Affairs — which has a budget of nearly $200 billion and boasts about 360,000 employees — in a state of leadership disarray for the second time in less than four years.

Yes – the president eliminates yet another tribute! That’s 4 tributes in the last 3 weeks! The president is on a roll! And he has done all of them through his favorite method of elimination – the tweet! And remember the rules of the Trumper Games state that anyone can be eliminated at any time, and for any reason! So who did the president replace Tribute Shulkin with?

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump ousted Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin on Wednesday, announcing his intent to nominate the White House physician, Adm. Ronny Jackson, to fill the post and ending weeks of speculation about when the embattled cabinet official would leave the administration.

Trump tweeted a confirmation of the news, which was first reported by Reuters. In a statement, the president described Jackson as "highly trained and qualified and as a service member himself." Trump also thanked Shulkin for his service and the "many great things we did together at Veterans Affairs."

Jackson has been a White House physician to Presidents Trump and Barack Obama. Robert Wilkie, an undersecretary of defense, will serve as interim secretary until Jackson is confirmed by the Senate, Trump said in a follow-up tweet.

Yes, my pretties! The president has replaced Tribute Shulkin with Tribute Jackson – yes the very same White House doctor who previously praised Trump’s “very good genes”. Come on, really? This is the guy who gave us Don Jr and Eric! He doesn’t have that great of genes! So what do we know about Tribute Jackson?

Sen. Bernie Sanders wouldn't commit to supporting President Donald Trump's pick to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs, Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson, on Sunday.

In an interview on CBS’ "Face the Nation," the Vermont independent noted that Jackson, Trump's personal physician, is a virtual unknown on veterans issues. He also expressed concerns the Trump administration is pushing to privatize the nearly $200 billion bureaucracy, citing the conservative agenda of the influential donors Charles and David Koch.

"We know nothing about what Dr. Jackson stands for and what his vision is for the VA," Sanders said.

Trump replaced VA Secretary David Shulkin last week after months of criticism over reports he misused government travel. Shulkin has since said he was forced out for pushing back against efforts to privatize veterans services.

That’s right! We know nothing! Only in the most stunningly incompetent of administrations could we replace a tribute with another tribute, and know nothing! This president really… doesn’t know what he is doing! Damn it, Johnny! Keep my champagne refilled! But of course, let the finger pointing and blame gaming begin!

Former Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin is making it clear he was fired from his job amid conflicting claims from the White House.

White House spokeswoman Lindsay Walters on Sunday told The Associated Press that Shulkin had "resigned" from his job when President Donald Trump abruptly announced via Twitter last Wednesday that he was nominating White House doctor Ronny Jackson to replace him.

But in television interviews, Shulkin said he had not submitted a resignation letter, or planned to, and was only told of Trump's decision shortly before the Twitter announcement. He said he had spoken to Trump by phone earlier that day about VA improvements, with no mention of his job status, and was scheduled to meet with the president the next morning.

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[font size="8"] Scott Walker
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Spin it to win it! And it lands on… chance!

Eh, the rest of the players might get $50 each, but I will get stock options worth $500,000,000! Ha! Jokes’ on them! Spin it again! and it lands on… oh People Who Somehow Got Elected! Let’s hit it!

Politicians at national, state and local levels who are so terrible , you wonder how they got elected in the first place. Or in this case reelected. It’s now time for another installment of:

This week – it’s the governor of the state of Wisconsin, Scott Walker. Governor Scott Walker is a byproduct of the Koch Bros / Tea Party craze fueled by a combination of voters fed a diet of hatred on Fox News, and money funded by the Koch Bros. And thanks to the Supreme Court’s controversial Citizens United ruling that allowed unlimited amounts of money to flow into campaigns, and for billionaires to simply buy key positions. Like being the governor of the state of Wisconsin, who was called “a menace to democracy”.

When a judge ordered Gov. Scott Walker to stop messing with Wisconsin democracy and order special elections to be held for a pair of vacant legislative seats, that should have been the end of the governor’s lawless scheming to leave the 229,904 Wisconsinites who live in those districts unrepresented for almost a full year.

Everyone had figured out what Walker was up to. Fearful that special elections might see Democrats elected in the historically Republican 1st Senate District and 43rd Assembly District, Walker simply refused to call the elections after the seats went vacant last year. Walker and his lawyers tried to makes excuses for the governor’s anti-democratic machinations, but Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds dismissed them as “inconsistent, incompatible and irreconcilable.”

“To state the obvious,” the judge explained, “if the plaintiffs have a right to vote for their representatives, they must have an election to do so.”

Remarkably, the response of Walker and his legislative allies to the judge’s order was not to order the elections — which could have been held in conjunction with the regularly scheduled spring elections if Walker had acted promptly. Instead, they proposed to rewrite state statutes so that governors would no longer be required to call special elections to fill legislative vacancies “as promptly as possible.”

Yes – Scott Walker is so terrible at his job that even leading newspapers in Wisconsin aren’t endorsing his reelection bid. Even the citizens of Wisconsin are under the impression that they are currently without leadership.

MADISON - After a three-month delay, a lightning-quick lawsuit and three orders from as many judges, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker called two special elections Thursday and GOP senators dropped legislation to block the contests.

Republican efforts collapsed following a Wednesday ruling by an appellate judge ordering the governor to call the May primary and June general elections. In less than a day, Walker abandoned a state Supreme Court appeal to overturn the ruling and lawmakers in both the Senate and Assembly canceled plans to vote to leave the seats vacant.

"This is a victory for the citizens of Wisconsin who are without representation because of Governor Walker's refusal to do his job," said former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, whose national Democratic group brought the lawsuit against Walker on behalf of local voters. "Republicans in the Legislature should stop trying to find new ways to keep the people they're supposed to represent from voting."

Wow, even Dirty Harry thinks that Scott Walker sucks. And when he says that Scott Walker sucks, damn it, he means it. But let’s expand on this – Walker originally refused to call the special elections in Wisconsin, and was ordered to by a federal judge. See, the republicans can’t win if they can’t lie, cheat, and steal.

MADISON, Wis. — A Wisconsin judge Thursday ordered Gov. Scott Walker to call special elections to fill a pair of legislative seats vacated by fellow Republicans, handing a victory to Democrats who have pushed for the elections to be held.

A national Democratic group led by former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder filed the lawsuit on behalf of voters who argued they were disenfranchised by Walker’s decision not to call elections to fill the vacancies that occurred on Dec. 29.

Attorneys for Holder’s groups, the National Redistricting Foundation, argued that Walker has a legal obligation to call special elections as soon as possible. Democrats said the governor is afraid Democrats will win the seats, but Walker contends the lawsuit is a partisan, special interest effort to waste taxpayers’ money and he’s under no legal obligation to hold the elections.

Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds, whom Walker appointed in 2014, rejected all of his defense arguments in requiring him to issue an order no later than March 29 calling special elections within the next 11 weeks. Reynolds said Walker’s interpretation of the law was inconsistent and incompatible with a strict interpretation of the Constitution, something she noted the conservative governor has long said he adheres to.

Yes there is something rotten in the state of Wisconsin, all right. And that something rotten just happens to be in Madison. In fact the governor and republicans of Wisconsin are so desperate to *NOT* hold an election that they’re resorting to such desperate measures as this.

Gov. Scott Walker and Republican lawmakers are moving quickly to change when special elections must be held in the wake of a court order requiring special elections for two vacant legislative seats.

Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds — who was appointed to the bench by Walker in 2014 and elected to a six-year term the following year — blistered the governor Thursday for refusing to call the special elections and ordered him to do so within a week.

The Senate and Assembly, which wrapped up their regular session business this week, are planning to meet in extraordinary session to take up a bill that would change the timeline for special elections, according to a statement issued Friday by Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald, R-Juneau, and Assembly Speaker Robin Vos, R-Rochester.

Walker — even before formal legislation had been made public — said that he would sign the bill.

Yes – and Scott Walker is one of those people who wants to watch the world burn. He would rather hold elections in secret or not hold them at all. Because the republicans can’t win if they can’t lie, cheat, steal, and rig their way to the top, as we have seen time and time again. In fact the GOP is so corrupt in Wisconsin that they wanted to simply eliminate the position of Secretary of The Treasury:

Scott Walker just got called out by a judge he appointed for making up absurd excuses for trampling on the voting rights of Wisconsinites by literally refusing to let them vote. The governor’s rationale for refusing to call special elections to fill vacant state legislative seats was so absurd that Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds dismissed them as “inconsistent, incompatible and irreconcilable.”

In ordering Walker to call the special elections for the state Assembly and state Senate seats that were vacated when he appointed Republican legislators to his administration, Judge Reynolds saw through the fabric of excuses blocking elections that Republicans might lose and simply declared: “To state the obvious, if the plaintiffs have a right to vote for their representatives, they must have an election to do so.”

Logic tripped Walker up and, thankfully, there was a judge to check and balance the governor’s anti-democratic impulses.

Yes and no one wants to see the world burn more than Scott Walker. And in case you’re wondering why all this is going down in Wisconsin – the GOP is all about protecting “the brand” and “the base”. And it will stop at nothing to do so. So much that their strategy of “all or nothing” is backfiring on them big time!

The risk of losing two seats in the legislature might not be as bad for Wisconsin Republicans as the fallout from attempts to avoid having special elections.

UW-La Crosse political scientist Joe Heim told WIZM that the image of the Wisconsin GOP may suffer over the election fight.

“You think (the GOP was saying), 'Well the courts aren't going to let us do this, they're going to force us to, so we're just going to change the law,’” Heim said. “I think that kind of gives an image of arrogance to the Republican Party.”

There you have it. Scott Walker rigs elections and is more concerned with protecting his brand than his people. That’s Wisconsin governor Scott Walker – another politician to add to the growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Herbie The Stored Bug
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Let’s give the wheel a nice strong spin shall we? And it lands on… clip without context!

Why don’t you name some, Linda? Go ahead I’ll wait. Spin it again! And it lands on… Top 10 Investigates! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is: Top 10 Investigates.

Two years ago, Volkswagen got caught up in the middle of one of the worst anti-environmental scandals any automotive manufacturer could have been involved in. So if you need a recap of this scandal, Volkswagen got caught cheating on emissions standards in a massive clusterfuck that nearly broke the company. So what does one do to make it right? They bought back the vehicles that were the victims of this scandal. But what do they do with those vehicles once they bought them back? Well, we go to the California desert – the city of Victorville is the home to a massive automotive boneyard that is visible from space.

Volkswagen has bought back hundreds of thousands of automobiles in the US as a result of the diesel emissions scandal uncovered in 2015. After spending $7.4 billon on the cars so far, where did they end up?

Thousands went to the desert, as these images from near Victorville, California, already known for its graveyard of decommissioned airplanes, show. The cars taken back by VW will either be fixed and returned to customers, resold or destroyed. Over 20,000 vehicles have already been destroyed, Reuters reports.

All told, about 350,000 cars in the US have been reacquired by the German automaker. VW has found 37 sprawling lots across the US, including a disused football stadium in Detroit, for the cars that are still awaiting their fate.

Yes that’s correct – some 350,000 cars are just sitting in a massive boneyard at the Southern California Logistics Airport in Victorville. So where exactly are these vehicles being stored? It’s not just in a boneyard in Victorville, they are all over the country.

Volkswagen has taken parking lots to a whole new level in the United States - and will not be emptying them soon.

Volkswagen AG has paid more than $7.4 billion to buy back about 350,000 U.S. diesel vehicles through mid-February, a recent court filing shows. The German automaker has been storing hundreds of thousands of vehicles around the United States for months.

Volkswagen has 37 secure storage facilities around the United States housing nearly 300,000 vehicles, the filing from the program’s independent administrator said. The lots include a shuttered suburban Detroit football stadium, a former Minnesota paper mill and a sun-bleached desert graveyard near Victorville, California.

VW spokeswoman Jeannine Ginivan said in a statement on Wednesday that the storage facility in Victorville, California, is one of many “to ensure the responsible storage of vehicles that are bought back under the terms of the Volkswagen” diesel settlements.

Yes and that’s exactly what Volkswagen did – they said “fuck this place, let’s put up a parking lot.”. And these parking lots aren’t just massive – they’re visible from space. In fact just do a simple Google Maps search on the Logistics Airport in Victorville – you can see it for yourself. And this is what some might call “vehicular purgatory”. Who we hear are playing Coachella this year. Awesome band.

The desert can play tricks on the eyes, especially when the temperatures hit triple-digits.

But on a cool spring day last week there was no confusing the ocean of cars parked off Adelanto Road and Innovation Way at Southern California Logistics Airport for a mirage. Victor Valley residents have grown accustomed to seeing airliners parked at SCLA over the years, either for storage, painting or other modifications. But row after row of cars? That was something new.

Stirling Development’s Anita Tuckerman confirmed SCLA has become ground zero in Southern California for Volkwagen’s buyback of diesel-powered cars that the company rigged to cheat on emissions tests. Earlier this month, a federal judge ordered Volkswagen to pay a $2.8 billion criminal fine. The company has announced plans to spend another $18.32 billion to rectify everything.

“Stirling has leased them 134 acres,” said Tuckerman, director of Asset Services for Stirling Development. “They can hold 21,000 cars on their current land.”

So this whole fiasco is costing Volkswagen billions of dollars, hundreds of wasted man hours, and the potential to be an environmental disaster worse than the previous environmental disaster. After the first four environmental disasters, is your fifth one free? Is there a rewards program for that?

Across the nation, nearly 300,000 recalled Volkswagens were still in storage at the start of the year at temporary lots like the one adjacent to Pikes Peak International Raceway, according to news agency Reuters.

Volkswagen has not released any updated timetable for the clearance of the remaining “buyback cars” still in storage. The automaker hopes to re-sell the remaining cars either in the U.S. or in foreign markets. Some may get disposed of for scrap parts.

At the makeshift lot next Pikes Peak raceway, hundreds of cars have been moved off site in recent months but thousands more remain. Volkswagen has declined to release the total number of cars in storage at the lot.

Nationally, there are 37 storage lots, according to Reuters, citing an updated report on the automaker’s recall program related to its diesel emissions scandal. The lots include a shuttered suburban Detroit football stadium, a former Minnesota paper mill and an old air field near Victorville, Calif., the news agency said.

Yes, WTF. WTF indeed. This entire thing is proving that it could potentially be an environmental and fiscal disaster. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin the wheel again shall we? And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh hey look, intermission!

Spin it again! And it’s time for… Holy Shit! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened, and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So… my fair congregation, I ask you – how does one predict the future? Well that is what my colleagues in the Christian right are doing this week! And I answer you… I don’t even think they know. Can I get an amen on that one? Thank you! Because there are a certain minority of them that are already calling the 2020 election for Donald J. Trump. Even though we haven’t even hit the primary season yet! Here is one such individual who is already predicting the future !

Frank Amedia, the tsunami-stopping pastor who served as a volunteer “Christian policy liaison” for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign before launching his POTUS Shield effort, appeared on Jim Bakker’s program today, where he prophesied that President Trump will win re-election in 2020.

Amedia recounted how God had told him weeks before the 2016 election that Trump would win and then gave him the assignment on election night to launch POTUS Shield in order to “put up a line of defense and call My prophets to go forth” to wage spiritual warfare on behalf of the president.

After recounting the history and purpose of POTUS Shield, Amedia revealed that God had given him permission to declare that Trump will be re-elected in 2020.

“I wasn’t allowed to release it until today,” Amedia said. “I have been holding it in my heart for several months, I think I shared it with a few of my people and that’s it. Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States again in 2020. I think you feel the power of God releasing on that.”

So there you have it, my religious brothers are already calling the 2020 election for President Trump, and the race hasn’t even begun yet! Donald could still get primaried! So here is why GAWD is saying that Trump is the man for 2020! According to Brother Jim, GAWD is just using him!

On his television program today, End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker declared that support for President Trump is a test from God of one’s faith in Him.

“Do you know why church people and millions of other people do not understand Donald Trump, that God could use him?” he asked. “They don’t know God. They don’t know God. They don’t know this book [the Bible] one iota.”

“He used the unlovely, He used the unacceptable, He used the people that no one would vote for,” Bakker continued. “We don’t get God. God uses the impossible.”

“He picked a president,” Bakker added. “He is testing; your evaluation of Almighty God is going on. God picks the unusual. God picks the one that no one else would pick.”

And there you have it folks – Brother Jim is saying that god is testing you. You know if this is god’s will, and I’m sure it is, then what’s Satan’s will? That question has yet to be answered! But in predicting the future, one must pass the test, and one must protect thyself! Which is why you NEED lots of firepower!

Chuck Baldwin, a right-wing pastor and radio host who was the 2008 Presidential nominee of the Christian Reconstructionist Constitution Party, appeared on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast over the weekend, where he declared that any Christian who does not own the equivalent of an AR-15 assault rifle “has denied the Christian faith” and is “worse than a heathen.”

Citing a passage from 1 Timothy, Baldwin asserted that every adult has “a duty to provide for your family, but you cannot provide protection for your family without being equipped to do so.”

“Therefore, you must have the means of self-defense,” Baldwin said. “And in our society today, that means a firearm in the similitude of an AR-15. Without that, you are not in a position, you are not even able to protect not just your family and your house, but your neighbors, your community around you; that we, as a community of people—that’s the militia—are given the God-given responsibility to protect our communities. That is a biblical requirement.”

Baldwin called on pastors to preach sermons telling their congregations that “if you are not prepared to defend your family and your neighborhood and your community with the force of arms, you have denied that Christian faith and you are worse than a heathen.”

So, my fair congregation, you must have guns, and you must be prepared to have your faith be tested by the LAWRD OUR GAWD!!!! For he is testing you at all times. He might be testing you right now by making you listen to my shit! Hey, we don’t know! In order to predict the future, one must be armed, and one must be mind fucked on a daily basis! But… what else are we forgetting? Well we wlll need shelter because apparently an environmental apocalypse is coming!

Ralph Drollinger, the man who leads weekly Bible study meetings for members of Congress and Trump’s Cabinet—including embattled Environmental Protection Agency head Scott Pruitt—distributed on Monday a Bible study warning that America is in the process of shifting from Christianity to the “false religion of Radical Environmentalism.” Pruitt told CBN last year that it was “wonderful” to participate in the Cabinet Bible studies.

Drollinger’s weekly written Bible studies (also available online in print and audio versions) are distributed to public officials by Capitol Ministries, which is expanding in the U.S. and globally. Drollinger, who sometimes describes them as a kind of a homework supplement to the in-person Bible study meetings, told a reporter last year that Trump reads the studies and sends him positive hand-written notes about them.

The study posted on Monday, “Coming to Grips with the Religion of Environmentalism,” appears to be an updated version of a previous written study with the same title. It draws heavily on a passage in the biblical book of Genesis in which God grants mankind dominion over the Earth and all its creatures and instructs man to rule and subdue creation.

Yes, I think even JAYSUS is speechless at this one because you can’t predict the future. I mean you simply can’t! And I hope that’s the takeaway you get from today’s sermon. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]The Storm
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Spin it to win it! Wheel goes ‘round, wheel goes ‘round… and it lands on, oh clip without context!

Uh huh, sure, Jim. Tell us more! How many supplements did you need to sell? Go on I can wait. Spin it again! and it lands on… Conspiracy Theories! You know we were originally going to do a “This Fucking Guy” segment here. But I couldn’t find enough information. But I did find a ton about “The Storm” so that’s what we’re going to talk about here. Do you all know what “The Storm” is? It’s one of the most baseless, bullshit conspiracy theories out there. And it’s quite insane. It is essentially Pizzagate 2.0, and we all know how crazy Pizzagate was. So before we get into it, what is “The Storm”?

A new conspiracy theory called “The Storm” has taken the grimiest parts of the internet by, well, storm. Like Pizzagate, the Storm conspiracy features secret cabals, a child sex-trafficking ring led (in part) by the satanic Democratic Party, and of course, countless logical leaps and paranoid assumptions that fail to hold up under the slightest fact-based scrutiny. However, unlike Pizzagate, the Storm isn’t focused on a single block of shops in D.C., or John Podesta’s emails. It’s much, much bigger than that.

As most terrible things do, this story begins with a post on /pol/, a sub-board of the more-or-less-anonymous, anything-goes website 4chan. Over the last few years, /pol/ — which technically stands for “politically incorrect” — has slowly but surely become a top contender for the ever-coveted title of the most upsetting community online. It’s the sort of place where neo-Nazis and people who believe women shouldn’t have basic human rights used to meet before we started verifying them on Twitter and electing them to public office. And as of late, it’s expanded its ranks to include fringe members of all shapes and sizes.

Yes like all bad ideas this one originated from 4chan by the famed anonymous poster known as Q. Boy wouldn’t it be great to unmask Q and find out who Q really is? And they would have got away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling kids! But the Storm was in the news a lot this week and it mainly has to do with Roseanne. But there is more to this than you would think. So QAnon attempted a 24 hour meme war that backfired on them big time.

Conspiracy theorists tapped in to “The Storm” have declared today to be the day in which they “post a continuous barrage of memes” in order to prepare the nation for the release of a video that they believe will serve as the “nail in many coffins” for liberal politicians who are involved in a massive alleged pedophile cult.

The Storm is a conspiracy theory that has captured the imaginations of “Pizzagate” truthers who believe that the highest ranking liberal political and business leaders are engaged in a secret satanic pedophile ring dedicated to trafficking and abusing children. At the helm of The Storm sits an anonymous poster on 4chan and then 8chan message boards known only as “Q.” Many followers of The Storm believe “Q” to be a high-ranking government official whom President Trump has ordered to leave cryptic clues—dubbed “crumbs” by conspiracy theorists—about supposed behind-the-scene efforts to unravel the alleged pedophile ring. An archive site of QAnon posts has documented nearly 1,000 cryptic messages since late October of last year.

Since the theory began in October, hordes of people have been engaged with it. YouTube videos about “QAnon” regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. The most dedicated participants in the conspiracy theory, including Infowars Washington bureau chief Jerome Corsi, spend hours per day in Discord chat rooms attempting to decode posts written by “Q.”

Now, these activists believe they have been ordered by Trump to “set the stage” for the impending release of a video concerning Hillary Clinton that they say will contain footage that is “impossible to defend” and will lead to the undoing of the liberal elite.

What “undoing” left of the “liberal elite” is there left to do? You’ve already undone everything and about 90% of the progress Obama made in his 8 years in office. How much more damage are you threatening to do? Blame us for terrorist attacks? Yeah! But you know what? We got him!

Participants in the ongoing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that President Trump is working to take down a massive elite satanic pedophile ring, believe that the main subject of their theory—an anonymous 8Chan user dubbed “Q”—is being targeted by the FBI.

Early this morning, “Q,” who some conspiracy theorists are convinced is a high ranking White House official, claimed that the FBI was opening a case on him or her in relation to the recent series of bombings in Austin, Texas, because of a number of “Q” posts that contain the phrase “BOOM.” “They are scared … They will fail. We know the details” the post reads:

The user “Q” is the figurehead of a larger conspiracy theory known online as “The Storm.” According to advocates of “The Storm,” Special Counsel Robert Mueller is not actually investigating President Trump and his associates for possible collusion with Russian officials during the 2016 election, but rather is working for Trump to dismantle a satanic pedophile ring involving global elites.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drinkl
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel again shall we? And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Clip without context!

Well, sir, we’re going to need divine intervention to get us through the next two years. Spin it again! And it lands on… oh hey I need a drink!

Yes and I need a drink this week. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a cross check? Molson lager? We can’t get that here in the States. I’ll just take a large IPA thanks. In case you don’t know what we’re talking about – we’re going to discuss one of the strangest rules in any sport that got national and international attention last week. I’m of course talking about the NHL’s reserve goalie rule.

Chicago Blackhawks goalie Collin Delia was injured in Thursday night's game against the Winnipeg Jets and the team needed to call on 36-year-old goalie Scott Foster to make his NHL debut as the emergency back-up.

Delia, making his first NHL start, was helped off the ice with an apparent lower-body injury in the third period. He was filling in for starter Anton Forsberg, who was injured during warmups. The team's No. 1 goalie Corey Crawford has been on injured reserve since late December.

Foster only found out he was dressing as the backup "moments before game."

"The initial shock happened when I had to dress," Foster told media. "I think I blacked out after that."

Foster took the ice wearing No. 90. He finished the night with seven saves on seven shots—including one on sniper Patrik Laine—in 14:01 of ice time and was named the game's No. 1 star for his efforts in the Blackhawks' 6-3 win.

OK that dude is definitely way more of a bad ass than you or I will ever be. I mean come on, his first time playing in a professional hockey game and he fucking nailed it. You can’t get more awesome than that, can we? Well what is the reserve goalie rule? Let’s explore that a bit further.

An NHL team only has two goalies, the starter and his reserve, on its playing roster at any given time, but the league mandates that a third, last-resort option be present at every home game. To become eligible, all the EBUG has to do is sign a one-day amateur tryout contract. The opportunity comes with no compensation, but the backups get to watch the game and will often get a free meal out of it.

Rule 5.3 of the NHL rulebook reads:

In regular League and Playoff games, if both listed goalkeepers are incapacitated, that team shall be entitled to dress and play any available goalkeeper who is eligible. This goalkeeper is eligible to sit on the player’s bench, in uniform. In the event that the two regular goalkeepers are injured or incapacitated in quick succession, the third goalkeeper shall be provided with a reasonable amount of time to get dressed, in addition to a two-minute warm-up.

Perhaps it is a testament to the durability of NHL players, but an EBUG rarely has to do so much as look up from his free dinner, let alone actually suit up and prepare to be called onto the ice. In 2009, a college drama student put on pads for the Edmonton Oilers after an injury to one of their rostered goaltenders. In 2008, the Washington Capitals asked their website editor to sit on the bench. In 2011, the Minnesota Wild signed a 51-year-old embroidery shop owner to a one-day contract after its starting goalie had to attend the birth of his child and the team’s minor-league reserve couldn’t make it to the stadium in time. None of those guys had to actually play, however.

Yeah so that happened. And man it was quite a sight to behold. In fact this rule is actually making talks in other sports. I mean imagine if baseball had this rule!

On Thursday evening, Scott Foster was an Oak Park, Ill. accountant and recreational hockey goalie whose last competitive action came during his senior year at Western Michigan University in 2005-06. By the time the Chicago Blackhawks finished their 6–2 win over the Winnipeg Jets on Thursday night, Foster had made his NHL debut, stopped seven shots and allowed zero goals in 14 minutes of action. A codicil in the NHL collective bargaining agreement specifies that an emergency goalkeeper can enter a game for either team in the event that both active goalies get injured. On Thursday, the Blackhawks lost starting goalie Anton Forsberg to injury in warmups and backup Collin Delia, who was making his NHL debut, with 14 minutes remaining. That forced Foster, who finished his day as an accountant just hours earlier, to finish the game. Now, Foster is the talk of the sports world and an instant folk hero.

The emergency backup goalie rule usually puts unsuspecting people—coaches who were once NHL goalies, former professionals—into the thrilling if terrifying scenario of entering a NHL game. Foster's perfect outing assures that he'll finish his NHL career with a 1.000% save percentage.

While you may think Scott Foster is an isolated incident and he’s definitely an anomaly in this world of hockey, he most definitely isn’t! in fact this isn’t the first time hockey has had to enact this controversial rule. In fact there’s other times that hockey has had this happen, and I am definitely going to need more beer!

Eric Semborski was coaching youth hockey players at the Philadelphia Flyers training facility Saturday morning, a rink where he’d interacted occasionally with NHL players in Voorhees, N.J., when he got the call.

A series of events had taken place earlier that would result in the 23-year-old former college club goalie becoming an NHL player himself. Semborski was pulled aside by his boss and found himself talking to a representative of the Flyers.

“He started taking down my player history,” Semborski told USA TODAY Sports. “Then he said the Blackhawks would need a goalie in a couple hours and to go home and get my gear. It’s not something I ever thought about.

"To go from club hockey to the Wells Fargo Center? I dreamt about being in the NHL as a kid, but I knew it was never going to happen.”

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 3
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Let’s give the wheel a spin one final time this week. And it lands on… t-shirt cannon! Everyone in the audience will get the new 2018 Stupidest State t-shirt. Now if only I had the budget to make and sell t-shirts. Well, when you have a budget of 0, well, you know… Spin it again! Stupidest State contest! Hit it!

16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! I hope you all filled out your brackets! This We have not one, but two exciting matchups this week! Last week – we had a huge upset in the tournament brewing as perennial favorite Kansas was knocked off by a young upstart, and red hot West Virginia in the fight for Fiscal Irresponsibility superiority. Meanwhile, in the Family Values conference, Alabama – though they may have been weakened because of the Roy Moore election, showed Indiana who’s boss in an absolutely epic showdown of who worships Jesus the most. This week we’re live from the Gila River Arena in Phoenix, Arizona, where we’ve got a pair of exciting matchups for you! This week, a young, upstart Nevada team looks to go for broke against conference favorite Wisconsin, while Florida brings their big guns to the dance against conference newcomer Louisiana! Let’s get out our brackets so you can follow along!

[font size="6"]Match 1: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Nevada Vs Wisconsin [/font]

[font size="4"]Nevada[/font]

Welcome to Nevada everybody! Of course we were here last week broadcasting our Stupidest State contest live from the beautiful new T-Mobile Arena that’s right off Las Vegas Blvd, better known as “The Strip”. Of course everyone knows the Strip – it’s the only place in the entire world where you can experience what it’s like to live like a baller in the best suites at the MGM Grand and Caesar’s Palace, and you can go from that to living like the homeless. Just put it all on 36 Black. But Nevada is also home to the University of Nevada and the newest NHL franchise, the Las Vegas Golden Knights, and they are the future home of the Las Vegas Raiders. But what else is Nevada the home of? Campaign finance scandals! Of course every state has those, but nobody is greedier than Nevada!

Democrats are accusing former U.S. Rep. Cresent Hardy — who has filed to run for Nevada’s 4th Congressional District, the seat he won in 2014 — of using nearly $4,000 of campaign funds for personal use.

The 11 expenditures in question span Jan. 3 to Aug. 8 of last year, after Hardy had left office. The Republican lost his 2016 re-election bid to Democratic Rep. Ruben Kihuen. Federal election laws prohibit the personal use of leftover campaign funds but allow officeholders six months to spend the money on “winding down” the office.

Campaign finance filings show Hardy spent $395 on an Alamo rental car, $210 at The Orleans, $297 at Hotels.com, $788 on airfare and nearly $80 for phone and internet services with Cox Communications.

“This is potentially more troubling evidence of Cresent Hardy’s history of shady dealings to line his own pockets,” said Drew Godinich, a spokesman for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “We deserve leaders who put the needs of Nevada first, instead of themselves.”

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/news/politics-and-government/nevada/democrats-accuse-nevadas-hardy-of-misusing-campaign-funds/

And then Nevada is also the home of a guy named Steve Wynn, whose giant Wynn Casino is directly across Las Vegas Blvd from Trump tower, and he is embattled in a sex scandal of his own, and just like Trump – treats his workers like shit.

Steve Wynn is under siege. The casino magnate is facing a range of allegations—from sexual harassment to forced sex—from former female employees, according to The Wall Street Journal. Then on Saturday, Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel announced she had accepted Wynn’s resignation as the RNC’s finance chair. Wynn called the claims of assault “preposterous” in a statement, but the board of directors of Wynn Resorts has formed a committee of independent directors to investigate the allegations in the article.

But there’s no indication that President Donald Trump is moving to sever ties with his fellow mogul. Trump loves people who flatter him, and Wynn flatters him profusely. In other words, Wynn may be the most controversial example of Trump’s insistence on surrounding himself with successful businessmen despite the baggage they bring—but he’s also part of a larger pattern.

The close relationship between the two men is a recent development. During the Republican primary, Senator Ted Cruz met privately with Wynn to discuss a potential endorsement when he was in Las Vegas for a primary debate, in December of 2015. Wynn, whose net worth Forbes estimates at $3.5 billion, had given money to Cruz in the past, and the Texas lawmaker’s team hoped to score his official imprimatur.

[font size="4"]Wisconsin [/font]

Wisconsin. You know Wisconsin. It’s the state that has given us the Lambeau Leap, the Green Bay Packers, the University Of Wisconsin, and the cheese head. It’s also given us the current speaker of the House & rejected spokesmodel for Axe Body Spray, Paul Ryan. It’s also given us the guy who we profiled earlier in “People Who Somehow Got Elected”, Scott Walker. And Scott Walker has enacted and enabled some policies that the residents of Wisconsin aren’t well, let’s say less than pleased with.

STEVENS POINT - A University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point spokeswoman said Wednesday that university leaders have tasked a committee to create a new proposal aimed at limiting cuts to humanities majors.

The action by the university's common council comes after roughly 300 people on March 21 staged a sit-in of the Old Main building to protest a proposal by the university that would cut 13 humanities majors. The proposal has been met with backlash and has garnered national attention.

At the student-led protest, students delivered to the chancellor and the administration a letter asking the university to create a second proposal.

"In response to a request from students and alumni who organized a sit-in on campus March 21, the UW-Stevens Point Common Council has asked its Academic Affairs Committee to serve as a task force to write a counter-proposal for addressing fiscal challenges, one that particularly preserves our existing humanities majors," said Nick Schultz, a UW-Stevens Point spokesperson, in an email Wednesday evening.

Yes that’s just at the collegiate level. The Kochs aren’t afraid of screwing over anybody and anything they damn well please. Because that’s what closet backdoor dictators do. And then there’s this.

Now that he's running for re-election in what could be a tough political year for Republicans, he proposed and the Legislature approved a $639 million increase in K-12 funding for 2017-19 -- the largest increase, he brags, in the state's history. ...........................................Forget about that $1.8 billion cut. Walker will trumpet the "largest education increase in history." Very clever indeed.

Then, there's the Affordable Care Act. From the day Walker took office, he's done his best to sabotage Obamacare. He was one of several Republican governors to turn down federal dollars to expand Medicaid, a feature of the ACA aimed at lowering premiums. He bad-mouthed everything about it and backed the "repeal and replace" Republicans. When Donald Trump became president, he cheered when Trump signed executive orders to undermine the insurance exchanges and create uncertainty in the marketplace, all combining to raise rates.

But as election time nears, Walker has suddenly seen the light. Like a gallant knight riding to the rescue, he now hopes to be seen as a savior, putting aside $200 million to stabilize the market for those who use the insurance exchange in Wisconsin. Seventy-five percent of the costs, incidentally, will be picked up by the federal government, which he found untenable only a few years ago.................

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Sorry Nevada, you may be casino evil and have mobsters and gangsters in your back pocket, but no one out greeds Wisconsin. I mean come on this is the state that elected and reelected Scott Walker, and tried to actively suppress the vote. Wisconsin handily wins 79 – 64. They will move onto the next round.

[font size="6"]Match 2: Gun Nut Conference: Florida Vs. Louisiana[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]

Ah, Florida. The home of Florida Man. You know we could just sit here and literally all day post meme after meme and story after story about how batshit crazy Florida is. But since the last tournament, they left the Batshit conference because as it turns out – Florida has some of the country’s worst gun laws. It’s also the home of another Koch backed governor – Rick Scott. And since the Parkland shooting, Rick Scott has spent an awful lot of time in the spotlight – and time he doesn’t want. Since the Parkland shooting, it’s all been completely insane.

The pro-Second Amendment right wing officially broke its brain last month. Instead of civilly disagreeing with the Parkland-surviving teens who organized the March for Our Lives, Breitbart has accused David Hogg of giving a Nazi salute (didn't happen), commentators and sitting lawmakers have utterly misrepresented Cuban politics and accused Emma Gonzalez of supporting the Castro regime, the Daily Wire wrote an article making fun of David Hogg's actually very-good 4.2 grade-point-average, and social-media users have spread all sorts of memes comparing school-shooting survivors to Hitler.

Did you assume that photoshopping Hogg's face onto the body of a Hitler Youth member was the lowest the public discourse about this could go? Think again! A burgeoning take on right-wing pockets of social media seems to be that the Parkland kids actually caused the Stoneman Douglas massacre by bullying poor, poor Nikolas Cruz.

To be clear: There's little evidence that Cruz was bullied. Douglas students have consistently described Cruz as a frightening individual that most people steered clear from, and he was evaluated multiple times for psychiatric issues and threats of violence.

And even if any students bullied someone, that doesn't give anyone the right to walk into a school with an assault rifle and murder people. The meme here seems to stem from one of Gonzalez's speeches, where she says she and others "ostracized" Cruz — but the clip is ripped out of context and she is very clearly explaining that Cruz's actions (threatening others, taking tons of photos of his guns, drawing swastikas on his belongings) terrified people and made them want to avoid him.

Read more: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/right-now-blaming-parkland-teens-for-bullying-nikolas-cruz-10221533

Yes – what more American thing to do than to blame the victims for being in harms’ way? That’s all we do as a country, because, reasons. And how does Rick Scott respond? Armed guards in schools! Because, guns!

The Florida House spent nearly seven hours Tuesday debating a four-point school safety plan. The final vote on the proposal could come Wednesday.

The debate covered 37 amendments filed by Democrats. Another 41 amendments were withdrawn from consideration.

Before the House began consideration of a Senate proposal that puts guns in the hands of school employees, Rep. Jared Moskowitz, D-Coral Springs, put his colleagues on notice.

"By the time we are through everyone will know where everyone stands on the marshal program," he said.

Read more: https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2018/03/06/house-poised-pass-school-marshal-plan-votes/400847002/

[font size="6"]Louisiana[/font]

Loooooooooooooosiana, as it’s called by the advertisements for its’ home state fast food chain Popeyes, is a state we have not covered yet. It’s home to such world class universities as Tulane University. It’s also the home of the New Orleans Pelicans and all the creepy and weird mascots that team has produced. But the city of New Orleans itself is creepy, weird, and utterly fascinating as it’s the home of Mardi Gras – a celebration of life and, well, let’s be honest, public drunkenness. It’s also the home of Koch backed governor Bobby Jindal (state now run by a dem- Jon Bel Edwards). Who again has enacted some of the worst gun laws in the country.

A judge ruled Thursday that a Louisiana law prohibiting felons from carrying firearms was in violation of a recently ratified constitutional amendment, according to The Times-Pacayune.

“The courts cannot question the wisdom of fundamental law and frustrate the will of the people; their function is to interpret and apply that law,” he wrote. “After reviewing the law and applying a strict scrutiny standard, the Court finds La R.S. 145.1 unconstitutional in its entirety.”

Louisiana voters approved a constitutional amendment last November to subject any gun law to the highest standard of scrutiny by a court, a level of judicial review that few laws pass. Chris W. Cox, executive director of NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action, boasted that no state “has passed a right to keep and bear arms constitutional amendment as strong as Louisiana’s.”

Yes they take the phrase “keep and bear arms” just a little too literally. And with hardcore guns as you know, comes hardcore racism! Yes, the two often go hand in hand but not like in Looosiana. Cases like this:

Eight alleged members or associates of a white supremacist prison gang called the Aryan Circle have been indicted in Louisiana on federal charges in the 2016 killing of a fellow alleged member of the gang.

Court records unsealed on Tuesday show Jeremy Wade Jordan, 38, of Orange, Texas, pleaded guilty on March 2 to the first of two counts in his indictment. The first count in his Dec. 14 indictment charged Jordan with "violent crimes in aid of racketeering" in the murder of Clifton Hallmark in Evangeline Parish.

Jordan, whose case had remained under seal since December, is scheduled to be sentenced on June 18.

A separate indictment, also unsealed Tuesday, charges seven other people -- residents of Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma or Arkansas -- with being accessories after the fact to the slaying. The two-page indictment, handed up last Thursday, says they helped Jordan "in order to hinder and prevent his apprehension, trial and punishment."

Read more: http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2018/03/8_indicted_in_white_supremacis.html

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh man this was a close one. Looooooooosiana was the favorite here, but Florida completely routed them by a whopping 30 points. Florida wins and ironically celebrates by eating Popeye’s chicken. The final score is 99 – 67. Florida Man was on his A game this week and sharp shot his way to the top.

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re live at the home of the Los Angeles Chargers, Stub Hub Center, and it’s the final week of Round 1 and we’ve saved the best for last as last year’s world champion Texas goes batshit crazy against red hot Virginia, while the Mormons of Utah duke it out in a Family Values face off against the child brides of Missouri!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Decemberists[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has a great new album called “I’ll Be Your Girl” and they are going to be seen on tour everywhere in March and April. Playing their song “Severed”, give it up for the Decemberists!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: City National Grove Of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA
Special Thanks To: City National Grove Management
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Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-11: Run The Jewels Live From Uranus Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-11: Run The Jewels Live From Uranus Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Just 15 minutes at our website can save you $650 or more on your car insurance! Stop by today and save! How is it going everybody? I want to start with some great news this week before we get to the crazy shit. I’m of course talking about the Final Four. Did your bracket get busted early like mine did? Yeah I think we all did. You know what? But one of the more interesting story lines to come out of the Final Four this year is Loyola-Chicago. Did anyone have them making it as far as they did? I know I didn’t! I mean talk about a Cinderella run! The reason I’m bringing this up is because I want to talk about the chaplain of Loyola Chicago’s basketball team – Sister Jean. Who is 98 years old. I mean wow, that is definitely something. And Sister Jean has been called the team’s good luck charm. And here’s how awesome Sister Jean is. So Loyola has done that thing called “merchandising” and has immortalized the 98 year old nun in the form of bobbleheads, t-shirts and other crap. But you know what? Being the good nun that she is, Sister Jean decided that she doesn’t want a dime from it. I mean come on, how can you *NOT* root for Loyola Chicago at this point? I know that we will be. And especially since next week’s Top 10 will take place after the championship has been crowned. Oh and here’s my favorite part of the whole Sister Jean story – someone asked her what she gave up for Lent. And her answer? Losing! That alone wins this year’s NCAA tournament! I love Sister Jean so much! So we will definitely keep an eye on this story! OK enough of the intro – we got a lot of idiocy to get to this week! But first Bill Maher is back and he explains exactly the problem with conservatives talking trash about Hollywood and celebrities:

Taking the number one slot this week is that when a major protest happens, we have to cover it, and we’ll be showing you some of the best signs and some of the crazier news that came out of Saturday’s “March For Our Lives” protest. In the second slot this week is of course Donald J. Trump, and yes, we have to cover the Stormy Daniels interview. Get your barf bags ready. Taking the third slot – is another edition of “The Trumper Games” and this week – another tribute has been eliminated and replaced with someone much scarier! So taking the fourth slot this week is the NRA and they were trying to do some serious damage control in the wake of Saturday’s rally and well, failed big time. Especially when Killer Mike of Run The Jewels got involved. In the number 5 slot this week is our weekly sermon of all the wacky things the Christian right is up to in “Holy Shit”, and this week, our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive into the world of Christian cinema. And yes, it’s more than just that Mercy Me flick. Taking the sixth slot we have a new edition of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” and this time we’re going to say goodbye to the biggest toy store there is – or was – Toys R Us. So why are they going under? We shall investigate! At number 7, Alex Jones (7) has what may be one of his most batshit theories to date, and that’s saying a lot! Taking the 8th slot this week is the comeback of the 90’s classic TV show Roseanne (8). Did you know that her character came out as a full blown conspiracy theory Trump supporter? Yeah that happened. Don’t call it a comeback! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “People Are Dumb” because, well, people are dumb. And finally this week we’re live from the beautiful T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas with Week 2 of Round 1 of our Stupidest State tournament of champions! This time around, Kansas is going for broke against West Virginia, while Indiana plays the Jesus card against Alabama in a Family Values face off, who will emerge the winner? And ending the show, we’ve got one of the great 90s bands that is back with a new lineup and a new album – I’m of course talking about San Diego’s legendary Stone Temple Pilots! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]March For Our Lives Recap
[br] [/font]

This week thousands of people took to the streets to demand a change in our nation’s lax gun laws. And just like the previous marches, it is our mission here at the Top 10 to give you our personal take on it. There are multiple ways you could go with this. I could just sit here and post some of the funny and clever signs that people made – and there were some great ones! Or I could show you some of the ways conservatives reacted. Or I could do all of the above! So of course the right wing was up to their usual nonsense of calling out George Soros and comparing people like David Hogg to Adolf Hitler. Sigh, these morons are why we can’t have nice things!

Right-wing activists and media figures went all-out in their attacks on the March for Our Lives gun reform rallies on Saturday, including attacking the rallies’ funding and organization, blaming “political correctness” and comparing Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school shooting survivor David Hogg to Adolf Hitler.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in Washington, D.C., and in cities across the country to call for stricter gun laws and call out politicians who have received funding and support from the National Rifle Association. Polling shows that most Americans support the march’s calls for gun reform.

Predictably, right-wing pundits went after billionaire George Soros—conservative activists’ favorite bogeyman—in an effort to minimize the legitimacy of the protests. Breitbart radio host Joel Pollak said it was “no surprise” that the march was a “Soros production.” The site’s sports editor Dylan Gwinn said that “we all know that these kids are being coached.”

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones said that teenager-led March for Our Lives marches were “scripted and funded by the Democrats” and said that the “welfare queens” attending the rallies “all look mentally ill.” Infowars editor-at-large Paul Joseph Watson wrote that the “real agenda” behind the March for Our Lives rallies was “the end of the Second Amendment, by force if necessary.”

Feeding into the claims that the march had been orchestrated by liberal mega-donors, Pro-Trump media troll Jack Posobiec live-streamed video of the buses that some activists had used to travel to D.C., reporting on the shocking detail that organizers had coordinated with security staff to park the buses in a secure area. He encouraged viewers to call the companies that owned the buses to find out who had hired them.

Seriously, you guys are fighting HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. Let that sink in – these kids are barely old enough to vote and they have to deal with you douchebags? Fuck off! So now we’re going to show you some of the best signs from the rally. And here we go!

So then there’s more. Because of course there is. And leave it to Fox to stoop to the new low of Fox turning this into an attack on the 2nd amendment.

The night before the March for Our Lives, Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson argued that we shouldn’t be listening to the logic of teenage gun control activists who organized the march. Then he vocalized the exact anxiety of gun rights groups:

Journalists agree with Emma Gonzalez and David Hogg, so they’ve slapped them on the cover of Time magazine and declared that they’re heroes and you’re not allowed to disagree with them.

Carlson articulated exactly why Fox News was on its heels. The network has generally been critical of this gun control debate and the teenage activists behind it. But it couldn’t ignore the massive amount of attention this march was getting, nor could it outright loudly disagree with their message while hundreds of thousands of people marched on Washington.

So there was a tightrope Fox News had to walk while covering this march. And it did so by finding ways to reframe the images of these huge and passionate crowds.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Seriously, fuck off, gun rights groups! I mean why do we even need gun rights groups? Guns have more rights than people do! I mean these kids are definitely better than you assholes!

Hundreds of thousands descended on Washington, D.C., on Saturday, in what is said to be the largest protest against gun violence in U.S. history.

Many of the students who took part in the March for Our Lives, in D.C. and around the country, said they were there to march for the ones who couldn’t.

“I’m here because I want things to change,” Brooke Harrison, a 14-year-old freshman at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, told ABC News’ “Nightline” at the march. “Three people in my class died, and 17 people in my school died. And I’m here to march for all of them.”


I can’t post all the top moments here because there are too many of them. But I’ll leave with this.

Parkland activists said they know their predominantly white faces help them get more attention.
"My school is about 25% black, but the way we're covered doesn't reflect that," Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School student David Hogg said the night before.
Several of the young speakers used their time to share the stage with people of color Saturday to remind people that gun violence affects all races.
"We recognize that Parkland received more attention because of its affluence," Jaclyn Corin, a survivor of the Parkland shooting, said in her speech. "But we share this stage today and forever with those communities who have always stared down the barrel of a gun."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Sigh… I don’t want to talk about this next story. It is making me want to throw up even just thinking about it, and quite frankly, I’m probably going to need to take a break so I can go take a cold shower after talking about this. So… the Stormy Daniels interview happened on 60 Minutes. And if you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty spectacular. Unfortunately my producer is telling me that we can’t find a clip of the full interview due to copyright violations. But we’ll give you a breakdown of the interview and the right wing’s predictable reaction to it. Starting with:

Daniels was never paid by the media for her Trump affair story
Daniels, whose legal name is Stephanie Clifford, told Cooper she was never paid the $15,000 the publication offered her to publish the story.

More details on the alleged threat
Daniels' attorney has repeatedly said she was threatened, but the details of the alleged threat have never been made public until now.
Daniels said Trump's personal attorney Michael Cohen threatened to sue shortly after the interview she did with the magazine. A few weeks later, she says, a man approached her in Las Vegas.


Gossip website sparked new interest in alleged affair
Before In Touch published its story, a gossip website got wind of Daniels' alleged tryst and published a few details. Four years later, when Trump ran for president, Daniels said she was contacted by various media outlets to tell her story.
"Suddenly, people are reaching out to me again, offering me money. Large amounts of money. Was I tempted? Yes -- I struggle with it. And then I get the call: 'I think I have the best deal for you,'" she recalled her attorney at the time saying.

Must come clean… dirt’s not coming off! So in case you’re wondering – yes a sitting president threatened the woman he was paying to have an affair with. Let’s let that sink in for a minute. I mean how much worse could this get?

Melania Trump has weighed in 60 Minutes‘ explosive interview with Stormy Daniels.

The first lady’s spokeswoman called the interview with Anderson Cooper “salacious gossip,” adding: “I’d like to remind people there’s a minor child who’s name should be kept out of news stories when at all possible.”

Twenty-two million viewers tuned in to 60 Minutes Sunday to hear Stormy Daniels’ story. It was the longtime newsmagazine’s biggest audience since a 2008 interview with President Obama and his wife, Michelle.

Following the interview, President Trump tweeted Monday morning that there was “so much fake news” circulating about him.

“Never been more voluminous or more inaccurate,” he tweeted Monday. “But through it all, our country is doing great!

Hey this is between you assholes, don’t go and drag America into this! And I mean it! Don’t make me turn this show around! And speaking of things that don’t belong, why did anyone ask Stock Market Bro Jim Cramer his opinion on anything?

The stock market was rising sharply early Monday in part because the Stormy Daniels interview on "60 Minutes" did not deliver a "knockout blow" to Donald Trump's presidency, according to CNBC's Jim Cramer.

Cramer said speculation that Daniels could show evidence about her alleged affair with Trump knocked a couple hundred points on the Dow Jones industrial average late Friday afternoon, two days before the interviewed aired.

"They didn't have a tape," Cramer said Monday on "Squawk on the Street." "When you saw no tape, what you did was this morning say, 'OK, let's go buying opportunity.'" He added the CBS interview with Daniels was probably not "as imperative on the stock market as people might have felt."

Last week, Daniels' attorney hinted that he may have a disc containing evidence about the alleged affair. During an interview Monday with NBC's "TODAY" show, her attorney, Michael Avenatti, said he is "not playing games" and will provide more information on his client's alleged affair with the president.

Yeah so that interview was so insane that the opinions of minor celebrities actually make the news because the actual story is too disturbing to report! I mean I may have to picture my parents having sex just to get that image out of my head! Yeah let that sink in! And then of course Trump got spanked with a cover of a magazine with his picture on it. He’s gone full narcissist! And you never go full narcissist!

Nobody was ever spanked with a more appropriate object than the one Stormy Daniels recalls employing on Donald Trump.

“He’s like, ‘have you seen my new magazine?’ Daniels recounted to Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes of her encounter with Trump in 2006.

Some have suggested that the magazine was Forbes. But the timeline doesn't add up. The spanking took place in July 2006 and the Forbes magazine with Trump on the cover came out in September 2006, with a dateline of October 2006.

The only new magazine that Trump would have called his own at that time was the premiere issue of TRUMP magazine. It had just been produced under a licensing agreement with Trump in the way of other properties to which he lent his name and spoke of as if they were his, in this instance all the more so because he was a major shareholder in the publishing company.

He was, of course, on the cover.

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[font size="8"]The Trumper Games
[br] [/font]
[br] B

It’s time for another edition of:

Happy Trumper Games! Yes it’s time for the latest edition of the Trumper Games, my pretties! Mmmmmm…. Yes… Mmmmmm… yes… damn it Charlie, why must you bring me the cheap champagne again, I want the good stuff, damn it! So to give you an update on the games – last week, President Trump managed to eliminate not one but two tributes from the games. And the rules state that any tribute can be eliminated at any time for any reason. Just like last week – Tribute Tillerson was eliminated while he was on the toilet! So who was eliminated this week? It was a tribute from District 1 and guy who has a discount used furniture store named after him – H.R. McMaster!

President Trump has replaced Army Lt. Gen. H. R. McMaster with the ultra-hawk John Bolton as his national security adviser, effective April 9.

Although Mr. Bolton has held several senior positions in the State Department, he is presently a Fox News commentator and a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. If General McMaster, with his military background, pragmatic leanings and truth-to-power credentials, couldn’t forge a systematic policymaking apparatus, Mr. Bolton isn’t likely to be able to either. To the extent that there is less discord between Mr. Trump and his national security adviser, it will only be because they share a strategic mind-set and are both intent on realizing it. This is a terrifying prospect.

General McMaster, a war hero and a true soldier-scholar, seemed to have the goods for shepherding Mr. Trump into a deliberative national security decision-making process that would curb his impetuousness and produce considered, coherent policy. His book “Dereliction of Duty” had famously challenged the conventional wisdom about decision-making during the Vietnam War by highlighting the politicization of military policy; observers assumed he would follow his own advice in the White House.

So, with that – the President eliminates another tribute! He eliminated a guy with actual military experience only to replace him with – a former tribute! Yes be sure to turn in next year when it’s the all star edition of the Trumper Games! Of course the wet dream of the Trump fanboy is to dismantle the United Nations and they might actually achieve that. And that’s scary.

President Trump’s selection of John Bolton to serve as his next national security adviser has generated alarm about what the move portends for U.S. foreign policy. The litany of concerns about Bolton includes his hawkish views on Iran and North Korea, his unshaken conviction that the Iraq War was good policy, evidence that he tried to intimidate intelligence analysts into agreeing with his conclusions, and reports that he harassed those who crossed him.

Bolton’s views on multilateral institutions and international law — and what he sees as their encroachments on national sovereignty — are at the heart of these concerns. Critics routinely reference his gibe that the U.N. headquarters building could lose 10 stories without any impact, as well as his contention that “there is no United Nations.”

But the image of Bolton, in part self-generated, as an inveterate unilateralist who has no use for the United Nations or multilateral cooperation requires some correction. Bolton’s record and worldview on that point are more complicated.

Oh but lighten up! I mean just because the President appointed a new tribute to lead us into a new era of death and destruction the likes of which have never been seen before , that doesn’t mean that we are going to war, does it?

2. But hawks may be less helpful for selling a new war.

A hawk like Bolton might have a more limited role in how others perceive a potential conflict. In research that will be published later this year, I used a survey experiment conducted on a sample of approximately 3,000 Americans to examine how different advisers’ statements about a hypothetical conflict affected public support for war and presidential approval.

I found that whether a hawkish adviser publicly supports or opposes a potential conflict affects both public support for war and public approval of the president. In general, if the president follows any adviser’s advice, approval goes up; if not, it goes down.

Oh that’s fierce!!! And damn it Charlie, my champagne doesn’t fill itself! So why is the appointment of John Bolton (R-Moustache) bad for this position? Well there’s many theories on that, my pretties! Most of which there’s some truth to but most of which, are, well, bullshit! We will keep an eye on the latest developments in the Trumper Games, but for now consider Tribute McMaster… eliminated!

In 2003, when George W. Bush was president, the White House undertook a new effort to get North Korea to give up its nuclear weapons program. It did so by working with four other countries—South Korea, China, Japan and Russia. These so-called six-party talks’ were a yearslong, often frustrating diplomatic effort, and in the middle of it, I sat down with a negotiator from one of the parties, a diplomat who had become one of my best sources in the region.

Normally, he was calm. But when I mentioned John Bolton, the former Bush administration official who had helped scuttle a previous nuclear agreement between the U.S. and Pyongyang, the diplomat’s equanimity evaporated. “John Bolton,” he spat, “is the reason North Korea has multiple nuclear weapons today.”

The diplomat was overstating his case. But the mere fact that he said it was revealing—especially now that President Donald Trump has appointed Bolton to be his national security adviser. The move, which becomes official in early April, will come roughly a month before one of the most audacious diplomatic gambits in American history: Trump’s agreement to meet with Kim Jong Un, the young leader of North Korea.

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[font size="8"]The NRA
[br] [/font]

So you ever wonder how celebrities get their nicknames? Well this week one celebrity made it really obvious how he got his nickname. I’m of course talking about the rap group Run The Jewels. Which features two guys – El-P and Killer Mike. The latter is the subject of this next entry, and the backlash and blowback that he received from appearing on NRA TV has been well, the most insane thing that has happened in 2018. And it’s only March people!!!

One half of Run The Jewels, Killer Mike has taken to social media to clarify controversial points he made in an interview with the National Rifle Association of America.

The interview was released while marches against gun violence took place in US, and saw the rapper discuss his gun ownership stance while debating the marches and National Walkout Day.

“I told my kids on the school walkout, I love you, [but] if you walkout that school, walkout my house,” he said to NRATV.

“We are not a family that jumps on every single thing an ally of ours does because some stuff we just don’t agree with.”

Killer Mike also said he was “very pro-Second Amendment”.

“And before you say ‘What about the children,’ my daughter goes to Savannah State University. There was also a shooting on that campus. Talked to my wife and daughter after that, the decision was we’re gonna go to Savannah, she’s gonna get a gun and train more.”

Well at least we know how he earned the nickname Killer! But as you can imagine there’s more to this story as you can probably tell. I mean really when the whole country is marching against the NRA you don’t go on NRA TV!

But by Sunday evening, following an online outcry from fans and gun control advocates, Killer Mike issued an apology for his appearance on the show and said the NRA misused it "as a weapon" against Saturday's marches. Mike added that his appearance was intended to focus on gun ownership by black Americans. "I did an interview about black gun ownership in this era," Mike said in his statement. "That interview was used a week later to disparage a very noble campaign that I actually support ... I want to say first I'm sorry guys. I do support the March — and I support black people owning guns. It's possible to do both." The position isn't new for the rapper — a year ago, he appeared on the Tavis Smiley show to say the NRA has "had a value to me my entire life," and that he is a member of the organization. "I think that one million black men should go online and just get a year's membership, and see how you like it."

Killer Mike's partner in the duo Run The Jewels, El-P (otherwise known as Jaime Meline), initially commented on the NRA's stance against the marches, tweeting "they didn't want to be known, they wanted to be kids. And they've earned being heard in one of the hardest ways possible. No matter what you believe we all have to listen in a real way."

Oh come on Mike, did you really think you would be able to appear on NRA TV and *NOT* have them misquote you? I mean they could issue a new tape tomorrow and call it “Run The Jewels Live From Uranus!”. Thank you audience! Oh and don’t think they won’t disguise a poop joke in that title either, I mean they did support President Bone Spurs after all! Don’t worry Mike -we get it. We think people should have the right to protect themselves especially in this toxic political climate that we live in. At least they apologized for the interview, but Mike is not backing down on his stance. And you know what? We’re OK with that. NRA TV is really the evil ones here.

Run the Jewels member Killer Mike (AKA Michael Render) has apologized for giving an interview to the NRA in which he defended gun ownership and said he had discouraged his children from participating in school walkouts in protest against gun violence. The video interview ran online the same day as the nationwide March for Our Lives protest.

Killer Mike has now posted two new videos apologizing for the interview and its timing. “That interview was used a week later by NRATV to disparage a very noble campaign that I actually support,” he said. He apologized to the students who organized the rally. “I’m sorry that an interview I did about a minority – black people in this country – and gun rights was used as a weapon against you guys. That was unfair to you and it was wrong, and it disparaged some very noble work you’re doing.” He encouraged them to keep organizing: “Plot, plan, strategies, organize, and mobilize.”

Oh and by the way – if you think this was an isolated incident, Killer Mike wasn’t the only gun nut apologist shooting his mouth off this week. Yeah you can take that pun either way. Behind door #2 – a guy who actually was a victim of a mass shooting – Jesse Hughes of Eagles Of Death Metal!

Eagles of Death Metal frontman Jesse Hughes, who survived the 2015 Paris attacks, has lashed out at survivors of the Parkland, Florida, school massacre.

In a series of posts on Instagram, the singer labelled students who led the March for Our Lives protest on Saturday as "vile abusers of the dead".

Hughes also accused one of the students of "treason" and mocked their gun control campaign.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened, and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So this week rather than talk to you about the usual nonsense that the Christian right has been up to, my fair congregation, because we can only tell the same joke 1,000 times before it gets old, we are instead going to tell you about a world of entertainment that you will soon be seeing more of. And if you think the Mercy Me bio picture “I Can Only Imagine” or other flicks like “The Shack” are anomalies, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

As Hollywood struggles with sexual harassment scandals and box-office woes, it could do worse than turn to God. For while religious movies have traditionally been considered a niche phenomenon, that assessment may need to be revised.

Last weekend I Can Only Imagine, a Christian-themed independent biopic, beat a series of studio-backed films to win the number three spot behind Black Panther and Tomb Raider. And as Easter approaches, films with Christian messages are experiencing an upswing not seen since Mel Gibson’s 2004 crucifixion drama The Passion of Christ.

I Can Only Imagine stars Dennis Quaid and was produced and directed by brothers Jon and Andy Erwin, the duo behind other faith-based hits such as Woodlawn, the story of a spiritual awakening among an Alabama high-school football team, starring Jon Voight and Sean Astin, and October Baby, an anti-abortion drama.


That did not impress film executives. Jon Erwin says he was told there “was no audience for a Christian music movie ... But everybody I knew – in the Christian world that we live in – knew and loved the song, so we just believed that there was an audience for this movie and that they would show up”. I Can Only Imagine was ultimately picked up by Roadside Attractions, maker of Manchester By The Sea, and Lionsgate. The distributors agreed to promote it as a general audience production. With a $25m box-office take so far, it is also showing Hollywood that Christians can make consistent, repeat filmgoers. Audience polling found that 79% said they planned to pay to see the movie again.

Even our good LAWRD is down with YOLO! But really, what does it takes to please Hollywood executives? $25 million in 7 days is pretty damn good for an independent bio picture! Maybe that’s why Hollywood hates them! But apparently the faith based film industry is trying some new things to attract audiences! How about, I don’t know, making good movies? Remember Ben Hur in the 1960s? Try making movies like that!

Christians are an appealing market for Hollywood, which is looking for ways to expand the cinema audience as digital competition causes long-term declines in theatrical attendance. The movie business is routinely criticized for overlooking the values of religious Americans, and faith-based filmmaking was seen as a way to rebut that narrative and attract an audience that usually doesn't go to the movies.

Facing a wearied audience, some filmmakers are trying to adapt by expanding into more subgenres, including romances, sports dramas, comedies and documentaries.

"We're developing beyond just the genre of sermon-on-film," said Bill Reeves, head of Tennessee-based WTA Group, a marketing firm that specializes in faith-based media. "We're trying to answer the question of 'What else is out there?'"

Others are putting their faith in Bible-based stories with big-name stars. On March 23, Affirm Films will release "Paul, Apostle of Christ," which blends scripture and fiction to tell the story of the apostle's last days. The new movie features actor Jim Caviezel in his first biblical role since he played Jesus in "The Passion of the Christ."

That’s not exactly what we are looking for, oh LAWRD! But in the world of faith based movies, well, producers are looking for anything that channels our lord and savior, creator of all that is good and holy, for ways to attract an audience. Because GREED is a sin!!!!!! And it is one of the most egregious of SINS!!!! It even says so in the good book!

As the market for Christian movies becomes more crowded, studios must work harder to attract devout audiences.

“Because there have been so many movies made for this audience, they have become much more discerning,” said Howard Cohen, co-founder of Roadside Attractions, distributor of “I Can Only Imagine.”

“And they will choose the ones that not only have a strong Christian message but are bigger-feeling.”

“I Can Only Imagine,” released nationally on March 16, exceeded opening-weekend expectations at the box office, reaping $17.1 million in ticket sales ($14 million was projected).

Now if they could just get a book about a holy super hero published and create the multiverse surrounding it, they would be set! I mean after all the Holy Bible is the original shared universe! They had 12 different characters and each one had their own stories, then they had the Last Supper super finale! Come on movie producers, get on that! For it is not that easy, my fair congregation! But of course the revenues have surpassed expectations! Because of course they did! But now my fair congregation, here’s where the idea of the good Christian faith-based film can and will go wrong! It will make the wrong people famous! And blasphemy is a sin!!! One of the most egregious of sins!!!

Mark Taylor is a former firefighter who claims that while he was watching Fox News back in 2011, God personally told him that Donald Trump would become president of the United States. Taylor initially thought that meant that Trump would challenge President Obama when he ran for re-election in 2012, but when that didn’t happen, Taylor realized that was because it was God’s plan to keep Obama in office for a second term so that Americans could “build a righteous anger” necessary to elect Trump and thereby save the world.

When Trump was elected president in 2016, Taylor penned a book titled “The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story Of The Man Who Saw Tomorrow… And What He Says Is Coming Next” and quickly made a name for himself as a modem-day prophet and radical conspiracy theorist.

In the last year, Taylor has claimed that God told him that Trump will replace five members of the Supreme Court, three of whom will be removed from the bench after being indicted for corruption, and that two of the five currently living former presidents will die as punishment for criticizing Trump, while the other three will be imprisoned and possibly executed for treason.

Taylor, who claims that Trump will release the cures for cancer and Alzheimer’s disease during his second term in office and asserted that God made journalist Megyn Kelly ill as a “warning shot” to all those who would dare to criticize Trump, believes that thousands of elite satanic pedophiles have been secretly arrested and that we will soon start seeing them prosecuted via military tribunals that will “make Nuremberg look like a cakewalk.” Taylor actually predicted that we’d see mass arrests in February, but the fact that that obviously didn’t happen doesn’t seem to have harmed his standing as a “prophet” in any way.

Yes because even JAYSUS doesn’t know what to say regarding how stupid Brother Mark is!!! I hope that is the take away you get from today’s sermon – Mark Taylor is insane! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Greatest Toy Store There Was
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is:

We now need some proper music to get us in the mood for this report:

If you were a child of the late 80s and early 90s, that jingle is forever burned into your brain. You most likely loved going into a Toys R Us store. Or as the great comedy writer Dave Barry once referred to them as “Gee, Toys Sure R Expensive!”. But this week with the announcement that the chain is closing and liquidating most, if not all, of its’ stores , we want to ask: why? Why is this beloved chain going under? Well, just like Disneyland – the answer is unparalleled corporate greed.

Toys R Us, the toy superstore that became a dream factory for kids nationwide, said in a U.S. Bankruptcy Court filing Thursday that it must liquidate, a move that would close 735 stores, leave 33,000 people without jobs and wrap up a 70-year run for a once-beloved holiday shopping spot.

The chain, whose chipper mascot Geoffrey the giraffe beckoned families to stores, said poor holiday sales caused its final demise. Online sales had undercut the popularity of its stores, and rampant discounting from the likes of Walmart and Target shaved away profits.

Saddled with enormous debt and piling up losses, the chain said it had no choice but to shut down. "The stark reality is that the (chain is) projected to run out of cash in the U.S. in May," it said in its bankruptcy filing.

No not quite yet. Especially when you consider that the closure of one of the biggest toy store chains in history could have a colossal ripple effect throughout the entire industry. Once heavy hitters such as Crayola:

Children’s arts products maker Crayola LLC has accused Toys ‘R’ Us Inc of coloring outside the lines in its dealings with its suppliers, saying the bankrupt toy-store chain kept ordering merchandise despite knowing it would not avoid liquidation.

Crayola, a subsidiary of Hallmark Cards, objected in court papers filed on Friday to aspects of the Toys ‘R’ Us plan for winding down and argued they would shield the retailer from any liability from misconduct.


Or how about venerable toy companies Hasbro and Mattel – makers of Barbie, how are they going to fare with this news?

The U.S. toy industry was taken by surprise when the country’s largest independent toy seller, Toys "R" Us filed for bankruptcy in September last year. The company recently confirmed that it is liquidating its entire U.S. operations (735 Toys "R" Us and Babies "R" Us stores). Liquidation sales started on Mar 23.

Toys "R" Us failed to keep up with fast changing customer preferences and shift of demand toward alternative entertainment modes like video games, MP3 players, tablets, smartphones and other electronic devices.

It simply could not compete on price and shopping convenience with giants like Amazon and Walmart. To make matters worse, the company was burdened with a $5 billion debt load, much of which originated from its 2005 deal to go private. All these developments gradually pushed it toward bankruptcy.

Here’s where we would slow down that clip if we could. It’s as if corporate greed is throwing our favorite toys out the window. So what happens when a store files for liquidation? What happens?

The sales are starting at Toys "R" Us.

The liquidation sales started Friday, and the company said it will offer shoppers "deep discounts and promotions."

The iconic toy giant announced last week that it will shut or sell all of its 735 US stores after a 70-year run.

Here's everything deal-seeking shoppers need to know:

How long do I have to use my Toys "R" Us gift card?

Stores will honor gift cards through April 21.

If you have an Endless Earnings e-gift card, you also have through April 21 to use it.

Customers can not return a gift card for cash.

What happens to my rewards?

You can no longer use your loyalty rewards coupons toward purchases. You might still see these points accrue in your account, but you won't be able to redeem them.

So with those pressing questions out of the way – are there any toy stores left in America? Yes, there is one and its’ business is actually booming.

When Toys R’ Us announced plans to close all 735 of its U.S. stores this month, it wasn’t exactly a surprise.

The gravitational pull of online shopping has decimated many iconic brick and mortar brands, and toy stores are no exception. Amazon’s toy sales grew about 12% last year, according to market research firm One Click Retail, while declining foot traffic has threatened to topple every time-honored kids company from American Girl to the once-invincible Lego.

In an era of smartphone shopping and same-day delivery, one decades-old toy chain has managed to weather the storm. And it’s a peculiar one.

In February, Build-A-Bear announced its fourth straight year of profitability. As retail giants like Claire’s, The Limited, and Payless shutter stores by the hundreds, the company has expanded its physical footprint by 12% over the last five years. And while Toys R’ Us closed its doors with $5 billion in debt, Build-A-Bear is debt-free. So what does Build-A-Bear have that Toys R’ Us doesn’t?

So one retail chain is thriving while a major one is suffering. You might be asking “where did all their money go?”. Well let’s investigate further.

A bankruptcy judge has granted struggling retailer Toys R Us permission to pay millions of dollars in bonuses to executives after the company argued it was necessary to motivate its top brass during the critical holiday shopping season.

Judge Keith Phillips ruled the company can dole out $14 million in incentives to its top 17 executives. A caveat: fiscal year earnings must first reach $550 million. Executives could receive even more if earnings reach $641 million, but the company's lawyer Joshua Sussberg said that target would be "incredibly hard to achieve," reports Reuters.

In September, Toys R Us — the largest toy retailer in the United States — filed for bankruptcy. But it stressed at the time that its approximately 1,600 stores worldwide would remain open and operate as usual. In a statement, CEO Dave Brandon said, "our objective is to work with our debtholders and other creditors to restructure the $5 billion of long-term debt on our balance sheet."

So there you have it. The company is in dire financial straits but it can still afford to pay its’ executives huge salaries and bonuses. Just like the hundreds of other failed retail chains that have come before it. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Sigh. Our good buddy Alex Jones just can’t seem to know when to shut up. I mean did you know that we’re in a war right now? And did you know that the powers that be have a list? You know – kind of like a really fucked up Santa Claus – they know who’s naughty and nice but that doesn’t matter – a whole lot of us are going to get nuked! And if you ever dare turn on Infowars, you know that Alex cranked the crazy up way past 11 this week:

Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist behind the Infowars outlet, warned listeners that global elites are evacuating to remote locations because of an impending “world war” and “world depression” that will kill most people.

On today’s episode of “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones cited reports that members of Washington institutions like the CIA have supposedly taken an interest in a network of doomsday shelters in West Virginia. Jones said he had spoken with someone who worked for Hollywood director James Cameron who told him that Cameron had said that billionaires are planning to evacuate to New Zealand.

“People that aren’t billionaires, they’re moving to Montana and Wyoming. I know a bunch of prominent Texas families that are evacuating Texas. Just evacuating, and they just say, ‘Word is, can’t save the country,’” Jones said.

“So, remember this, leftists—all of you crazy people that want to burn it all down, and you Antifa meth heads and all of you—if Trump can’t stabilize the country, and if we don’t make alliances and peace deals, and the world economy keeps going in this direction with population and all the crises and all the countries that have bio-weapons, there’s going to be a big world war and there’s going to be worldwide depression,” Jones said. “And a lot of you aren’t going to make it out of it.”


Yeah probably! I think I saw the Antifa Meth Heads at the Troubadour last week, not the best band in the world, I would say. And you think our resident pastor is crazy? Well wait until you get a load of Infowars’ resident pastor Rodney Howard Brown!

Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne, who placed hands on President Trump in prayer last year, joined Alex Jones on Infowars yesterday and urged Christians to “get radical” because only “divine intervention” can save America from the evil globalists Jones and Browne believe are working to destroy the world.

Yesterday, Browne joined Jones to promote his new book, “The Killing of Uncle Sam,” and discuss what he believed to be current threats against Christians and against President Trump. Jones said that one threat churches and religious groups have faced is social media censorship, claiming that social media companies have been removing posts because they featured references to Jesus and other biblical figures.

“The body of Christ has to stand up. First, we have to pray. Last night, we had a three-hour prayer meeting at the church praying exactly over these things and really asking God for divine intervention. And the church has to get radical. The people of God have to get radical,” Browne said.

Browne then alluded to the recent string of bombings killing people in Austin, Texas, and suggested that the bombings were being used by anarchist terrorists who are attempting to bring “everything under control.”

Yes, yes it does! And what is Alex Jones’ obsession with overweight gay women? I don’t want to say he has a fetish or anything, but yeah, he probably does have a fetish!

Gavin McInnes, a CRTV host that also leads a bizarre boys club, told Infowars host Alex Jones that their children will not have to deal with “annoying, childless, lesbian feminists because they’re all going to be gone.”

McInnes joined Jones on Infowars today to explain why he believes far-right activists like himself have a superior ideology to modern liberalism. Part of that superiority, he argued, includes the fact that McInnes and others who occupy the same space in the far-right, constantly urge their audiences to start families and have children.

“Their stupid idea is not to breed and not to have families. Our stupid idea is to breed like rats. And they are going to be extinct. Our children are not going to have to deal with these annoying, childless, lesbian feminists because they’re all going to be gone. They’re the dodo birds of Western civilization,” McInnes said.

Jones took a moment to clarify that he and his wife have “nothing against lesbians,” before making clear exactly what he had against lesbians by asking McInnes: “Why are lesbians so uptight?”

Why are lesbians so uptight? To use an old Seinfeld quote – they probably look at guys like you and go “that’s why I’m not heterosexual!”. And to add to his already bizarre theory on globalism, Alex offered this:

During today’s episode of “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones claimed that “the globalists that had sold this country out and thought they were God are flipping out right now” in reaction to how much Trump has supposedly been improving industries in the United States. He complained that the media was “bitching and complaining” that Trump would destroy the economy, despite the fact that “we didn’t have anything left” and that industry is “all pouring back in now” to the country.

“Doesn’t mean they’re not going to strike back, doesn’t mean it might not be too late, but they were involved in deindustrialization, post-industrial era Agenda 21, Agenda 2030—it’s a plan. It’s public. Trump has read it,” Jones said, referring to United Nations plans regarding global sustainable development practices that have inspired many right-wing conspiracy theories. “Trump knew all of this before I was ever on air.”

Jones went on to claim that Trump’s relationship with Roy Cohn, a shady lawyer who played an instrumental role with former Sen.Joe McCarthy ginning up public hysteria during the Red Scare in the 1950s, was proof that Trump was “the opposite of a Russian agent.”

Jones screamed: “What does that tell you? The globalists are crapping themselves. He’s the opposite of a Russian agent. That’s why they’re so scared. Everything he does is for the country. Everything he does is the classic default of what you do.”

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[font size="8"]Rosanne Premiere

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I was originally going to talk about gun nut apologists and their reaction to the March, but I didn’t like the entry so we’re going to do this instead! You know what people? Don’t call it a comeback! Thank you sound effects guy! So we’re going to talk about the premiere of the TV show Roseanne. And it sparked quite a bit of controversy for one reason alone. That is – Roseanne’s character is a bonafied Trump supporter of the Infowars conspiracy theory variety! Or as they called him on the show – “he who shall not be named!”.

Roseanne Conner is back in primetime, and that thing you’ve been hearing so much about — that choice she made in the last presidential election — has been confirmed and explained.

Roseanne did indeed cast her vote for Donald Trump, or rather, He Who Must Not Be Named, because no one actually says his name throughout the episode. Ditto She Who Must Not Be Named, the pantsuited opponent whom Roseanne assumes sister Jackie voted for, which led to a year-long rift during which the siblings and best friends haven’t spoken to each other.

This part of the Roseanne revival already had some fans vowing not to tune in. How could that liberal, underdog-championing, working-class heroine Roseanne Conner have changed so dramatically that she would turn her back on all she claimed to believe in, all she claimed to be about, to vote … another way? When she and Jackie finally agree to a détente to talk about their beef, Roseanne explains her choice in a way that almost certainly won’t change anyone’s mind, but nevertheless lays down a point: You can choose to get past it, or at least to keep talking, no matter how much you continue to disagree.

That is a good point! So Roseanne is a Trump supporter. And you know in this climate of “Hollywood doesn’t understand our views” well conservatives might want to reconsider that talking point. And as we saw from that Bill Maher clip in the beginning – the people really taking it out on Hollywood are Hollywood rejects! But both sides weren’t left out of the picture.

Roseanne returned to primetime after a 21 year hiatus and immediately tackled the topic of political divisiveness that many American families can relate to. While the show never mentioned specific names, it is implied that Roseanne and Dan are proud Donald Trump supporters. While Roseanne's sister Jackie is anti-Trump.

The premiere episode was centered around Roseanne and Jackie being at odds with each other, in fact they've barely spoken since the 2016 election. But since they are family, they make an attempt to be civil to each other.

The two sister threw barbs at each other. Jackie brought Russian flavored dressing to a family dinner. Roseanne responded by asking Jackie if she'd like to take a knee during grace.

While the two sisters never saw eye-to-eye on each other's political beliefs, they overlooked them for the sake of family. Jackie said, " "I guess I didn't mean to imply that you're some right-wing jackass. I should have tried to understand why you voted the crazy way that you did." Roseanne responded, "And I should have understood that, you know, you want the government to give everybody free health care 'cause you're a good-hearted person who can't do simple math."

Wait, so… how does doing basic math have anything to do with government sponsored health care? I mean who is that joke targeting? You know – for when you thought Fraser was too intellectual! So what does Roseanne’s ex, Tom Arnold, think of the show?

When THR asked me to review the new Roseanne reboot, I promised objectivity. But, of course, I'd been the audience warm-up guy for the Roseanne pilot in 1988 and worked my way up on the show from writer to producer. In fact, by the time Roseanne fired me in 1994 — destroying the trophy case in my office, canceling my credit cards and promising I'd never work in show business again — I'd been executive producing and playing Arnie for a few years. So you can see why these delightful memories would make it hard not to be prejudiced.

The world is different now than when Roseanne and I went to Bill Clinton’s inauguration in 1992, and a lot has changed since the show went off the air in 1997. When I read on Twitter that there was going to be a Roseanne reboot, I was happy for Roseanne and the other actors, but I also knew the new show's success would rest on one thing: Who will Roseanne Conner be in 2018? Because today's Roseanne Barr is more polarizing than ever. No longer a feminist-pacifist voice for the working folks, she's now a far-right Trump-loving troll who's gone hard against liberals and Hillary supporters and even #MeToo women. That is not the Roseanne Barr I knew, but that's OK so long as that's not the Roseanne Conner she brings back to TV.

OK so of course like most things happening in 2018, here’s where it gets weird. Of course you know that Roseanne is a crazy Trump loving fiend who regularly spouts Infowars talking points and QAnon conspiracy theories. And when she gets called out on it guess what? Denial!

Barr being a big Trump supporter, Kimmel reminded her she used to support Hillary Clinton, but became “down on her” and even accused her of being a murderer on Twitter, “didn’t you?”

“I did not!” Barr screeched. “I deleted it!”

But she acknowledged, “I had some disagreement with her foreign policy.”

Because “she had one,” Goodman snarked, largely staying out of the melee.

Barr asked, like she meant it to sting, if Kimmel had supported Clinton during the election.

“Never mind her!” Kimmel shot back, having none of that. “How about the Capt. Whacko we’ve got running the country here?!”

Barr insisted she has not changed over the year, but “you all moved — you all went so f*ckin far out you lost everyone.”

Really Roseanne? Jimmy lost everyone? Is that why he’s one of the highest rated hosts in late night television? But of course the divide has even perplexed her original fans of the show! Because why wouldn’t it?

Tonight is the big night America has been waiting for! After 21 years, Roseanne is returning to the small screen — and in a way, we can all thank President Donald Trump for the reboot.

Roseanne Barr has been a fixture in pop culture for decades, but has largely stayed out of the spotlight since Roseanne ended its nine-season run in in 1997. That all changed during the 2016 presidential election, when Barr came out in support of presidential candidate Donald Trump.

“I think we would be so lucky if Trump won,” she told the Hollywood Reporter several months before the election. “Because then it wouldn’t be Hillary.”

Since those initial viral comments, Barr has gone on to praise and defend Trump continuously, including this week, while promoting the upcoming Roseanne premiere with John Goodman on Jimmy Kimmel Live. After arguing with Kimmel about the president’s controversial administration, Barr said, “No matter who we voted for, we don’t want to see our president fail.”

Considering Barr’s personal political beliefs, there was little surprise when news broke that some of the iconic Conner family on the show will be portrayed as Trump supporters. “It’s just realistic,” the 65-year-old actress said during the Television Critics Association press tour in January. “It was working-class people who elected Trump.”

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Oh you know what time it is? It’s time for this!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. It’s been a while since we have done one of these. I want to start with this story out of Seattle, Washington featuring two jaw-droppingly stupid criminals who attempted to walk out of a Costco and, well… let’s just say bad things happen.

SEATTLE (KGO) -- Thieves with armloads of stolen laptops and vacuum cleaners literally walked straight into the arms of police.

It happened at a Costco in Seattle last week and it was caught on video.

Officers responded to reports of shoplifting in progress. They arrested a woman who was sitting in a car pulled up to the store's emergency fire doors.

Police say it was the getaway car.

Officers were waiting when a man and a woman loaded down with stolen property kicked the doors open. The suspects tried to make a run for it but police nabbed them.

How about this – what happens when you try to teach a lesson to someone? Here’s one woman from Montana (surprisingly not Florida) who attempted to teach a lesson that backfired big time! Where is J Walter Weatherman from Arrested Development when you need him?

A woman drank a half bottle of whiskey, drove her car through a medical marijuana provider storefront and broke additional windows with a sledgehammer because she was upset the business was closed, prosecutors say.

Lisa Christine Walter, 37, appeared in Yellowstone County Justice Court on Monday on a felony criminal mischief charge and aggravated driving under the influence second offense, a misdemeanor. Justice of the Peace David Carter set bond at $10,000.

Police were called to Grow World, at 3130 King Ave. W., on Friday at 9 a.m., according to charges. There they found Walter drinking from a measuring glass, with her blue Honda Civic driven partially through the front doors of the business.

All 10 of the front windows to the business had been broken, police said. There was a baseball bat sticking out of the rear passenger side window, a sledge hammer sitting on the front seat and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the rear of the car.


Next up we go to where else but Florida? Yes, the Sunshine State always knows how to bring the crazy extra hard. And this is a classic Florida Man story too – I mean you can diagram the first sentence of this story and you still won’t be able to fully comprehend it.

Two men are accused of breaking into the home of a man they both dated, stealing several items, then leaving spaghetti sauce boiling on the stove with a washcloth placed near the burner in an attempt to start a fire, according to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office.
Deputies went to the residence and saw a red Lincoln Navigator attempting to leave the area. A stop was conducted and the driver, 28-year-old John Silva, and passenger, Derrick Irving, told the deputy that they had just picked up some clothes from the victim's home, according to the affidavit.

The victim told News 6 that Irving was wearing a bull costume.

The deputy said she could see a marijuana grinder in the center console and a vacuum, window A/C unit, flat-screen television and heater in the back seat. An empty jar of Ragu spaghetti sauce was also on the passenger's seat, the report said.


Yes seriously – WTF. This almost kind of sounds like the plot from Hot Fuzz when they tried to destroy the guy’s house with bacon and beans. Only there wasn’t a bull costume involved. Next up – how about some hardcore pornography for your daily commute? Yes this actually happened in the Philippines this week.

The mayor of the major financial hub in the Philippines said on Wednesday she was investigating after a pornographic video appeared briefly on a prominent billboard, startling motorists on one of the bustling city’s major roadways.

The video appeared for about half a minute on an electronic billboard at a busy intersection on the main road through Makati City, the central business district of the sprawling capital, Manila, on Tuesday afternoon.

Makati Mayor Abigail Binay immediately ordered the billboard shut down after the clip of a couple having sex was shown, but pictures and videos of it captured by motorists on their mobile phones were shared widely on social media.

The billboard will remain closed pending the results of an investigation, Binay said. That investigation will include whether the billboard’s owner, Philippine company Globaltronics, or its employees were responsible, a statement from her office said.

Yeah seriously – does anyone need that much porno? Yeah probably! So for this next story – if you’re at a school, and a guy comes in with a gun and starts shooting, how do you protect yourself? Here’s one suggestion and it’s about as stupid as you can get!

One schools superintendent has a novel way to keep his students safe from school shooters: arming them with rocks.

David Helsel, superintendent of a school district in northeast Pennsylvania, explained his plan to a legislative education committee last week, drawing a flurry of local media coverage.

“Every classroom has been equipped with a five-gallon bucket of river stone,” Helsel explained about his Blue Mountain School District in Schuylkill County, northeast of Harrisburg, in a video broadcast by ABC affiliate 16 WNEP. “If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance into any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks, and they will be stoned.”

Helsel’s comments come amid a new chapter in the public debate about mass shootings after a man killed 17 people at a high school in Parkland, Fla. Despite polls showing that large numbers of Americans support stricter gun-control measures, Congress has not produced any significant legislation, and schools and other officials have looked to other solutions. President Trump floated an NRA-backed idea of arming teachers.

OK so enlighten me, sir, how is this going to stop someone with a gun exactly? I mean did you go to the Betsy DeVos school of protecting yourself from a bear attack? And then finally for People Are Dumb – we’ve got a Top 10 update for you! Yes, an update! Remember our old buddy from Bakersfield who was trying to launch himself in a homemade rocket to prove the earth was flat? Well, he did it!

He finally went up — just like the self-taught rocket scientist always pledged he would.

He came back down in one piece, too — a little dinged up and his steam-powered vessel a little cracked up.

Still, mission accomplished for a guy more daredevil than engineer, who drew more comparisons to the cartoon character Wile E. Coyote from his critics than he did to iconic stunt man Evel Knievel.

“Mad” Mike Hughes, the rocket man who believes the Earth is flat, propelled himself about 1,875 feet into the air Saturday before a hard landing in the Mojave Desert. He told The Associated Press that outside of an aching back he’s fine after the launch near Amboy, California.

Yes! We got him!!!!!! We got him everybody! Mad Mike finally launched himself in a rocket! And it didn’t prove shit! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 2

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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! I hope you all filled out your brackets! This We have not one, but two exciting matchups this week! Last week – Kentucky utterly routed Iowa by a whopping 25 points to advance to the Elite 8 while the Montana and Arizona game came to a head with Montana hitting a thrilling last second buzzer beater and winning over Arizona. Both teams advance to the next round. This week – it’s family values and extreme corporate greed as Kansas looks to defend their conference title against red hot West Virginia, while the red hot Hoosiers of Indiana take on conference favorite Alabama in a battle for who’s the bigger worshippers of Jesus! Roll Tide! Get out your brackets so you can follow along!

[font size="6"]Match 1: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: West Virginia Vs Kansas[/font]

[font size="4"]Kansas[/font]

Kansas is the reigning king of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. They are the home of agriculture, Koch Industries, and some of the biggest colleges in the country including Kansas State – home of the possible world champion Jayhawks, and Witchita State University. Kansas is also the home of the road side attraction including things like the World’s Largest Ball Of Twine. And now that Chris Christie has been dethroned from New Jersey, Kansas is the home of the world’s worst governor – Sam Brownback – who has been known to say batshit crazy things like this.

A new report from the Kansas Center for Economic Growth concludes former Gov. Sam Brownback’s supply-side tax reductions induced years of financial crisis, rather than the “rural recession” Brownback blamed.

Now, one year after a partial reversal of the massive 2012 tax cuts, lawmakers face the difficult election-year prospect of paying for another increase in school funding. Goossen, a senior fellow with KCEG and the budget director for three governors before Brownback, said it is important to be honest and clear about the cause of the state’s budget problems.

The KCEG report to be released Monday says the global decline in commodities prices only accounts for a small portion of the overall economy in Kansas and wasn’t significant enough to derail budgets in neighboring states. Also, the agricultural and energy downturn happened after Kansas budgets became unstable.

Yeah, Gov. Brownback, you suck! And you should feel bad! And then Kansas is also the home of an amusement park called Schlitterbahn that has been at the subject of what happens when the republicans deregulate everything. And the answer to that is more deregulations!

Jeff Henry, the co-owner of Schlitterbahn, was arrested on Monday in Cameron County, Texas, on charges related to the 2016 death of a 10-year-old boy on a water slide in Kansas.

Officials in Cameron County, the southernmost county in Texas, said Henry was arrested on a Kansas warrant.

"He was arrested by U.S. Marshals out of Brownsville," Texas, said Capt. Javier Reyna of the Cameron County Sheriff's Office.

Schlitterbahn has a water park in South Padre Island, which is in the county where Henry was arrested. The U.S. Marshals Service is a federal law enforcement agency responsible for transporting prisoners across state line

[font size="4"]West Virginia[/font]

West Virginia is a state that we have not yet covered in the Stupidest State contest. West Virginia is home to a large portion of this country’s coal mining operations. And it’s the state where you’re more likely to get black lung than just about anything. It’s the home to universities like the University of West Virginia which is always a final four favorite. And in case you’re wondering just how greedy things get in West Virginia here’s a couple of examples.

The City of Beckley is one step closer to purchasing Black Knight Country Club from Gov. Jim Justice in a $3 million deal, following the regular meeting Tuesday of Beckley Common Council, Mayor Rob Rappold reports.

Council approved the first reading of an ordinance to authorize the "acquisition, planning, establishment, equipping and costruction of new recreation facilities (BKCC)" by the Beckley Building Commission and authorized the commission to lease BKCC to the city.

Two more readings are required before Council approves the ordinance.

"The Beckley Building Commission will be the lessor on BKCC, and the city will be the lessee," Rappold explained the process of Beckley's acquisition of BKCC, a private country club with an 89-year history in Beckley. "The Building Commission makes the purchase and then leases BKCC to the city, for the amount of the loan on a monthly basis."

Read more: http://www.register-herald.com/news/council-moves-one-step-closer-to-country-club-deal/article_52df5746-7a09-503f-94b6-821fb0d82dc5.html

And then of course if you’ve been following the news you know that West Virginia has been the center of a massive teacher’s strike that has just crippled the state. And it’s all thanks to reckless conservative policies! Yay!

Thousands of striking West Virginia teachers and school employees are gathering at the state capitol in Charleston today to press their demands for livable wages and the right to high-quality health care. The strike by more than 33,000 teachers and support staff has entered its eighth day and a new and decisive stage.

The mass protests today take place as 1,400 Frontier Communications workers have gone on strike across West Virginia and in parts of Virginia. The workers, who are members of the Communications Workers of America (CWA), have been working without a contract since August 5 of last year, and are fighting job cuts and efforts to destroy their health care coverage.

On Saturday night, the Republican-controlled state Senate carried out a calculated provocation against the striking teachers, voting to reduce the pay offer to teachers and school employees from five percent to four percent. Senate President Mitch Carmichael and the powerful energy, chemical and other corporate interests that stand behind him have thrown down the gauntlet to teachers and public employees.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Wow, another great game with some close calls, but in the end the coal miners in West Virginia trounced Kansas by 15. Final score: 86 – 71. West Virginia’s first time in the tournament and they did not disappoint! The conference champs go home defeated!

[font size="6"]Match 2: Family Values Conference: Indiana Vs. Alabama[/font]

[font size="4"]Indiana[/font]

Indiana is a state that we have not yet covered in this matchup. The Hoosier State is the home of such world class universities as the University Of Indiana – home of the Hoosiers, as made famous in the movie “Hoosiers”. It’s also the home of the Fighting Irish - Notre Dame University, and Purdue University. It’s also the home of world class sports teams including the Indianapolis Colts and the Indiana Pacers. But what else is Indiana the home of? Well it could the home of guns in churches! Yes – two things the Family Values crowd loves!

Currently, Hoosiers can legally carry guns on church property, so long as that property doesn't also house a school. The Indiana Senate Judiciary Committee took a step toward changing that Wednesday, moving forward a bill that would allow guns on all church property — school or not.

"This allows a house of worship to be able to protect their congregation on their property," said the bill's sponsor, Indianapolis Republican Jack Sandlin. "It does not put guns in the hands of teachers. It does not prohibit houses of worship from establishing policies to prohibit the bringing of firearms onto their property."

The bill passed along party lines, with five Republicans sending Senate Bill 33 to the floor and two Democrats voting against it.

Democrats weren't the only opposition in the room.

Read more: https://www.indystar.com/story/news/education/2018/01/31/bill-allow-guns-church-school-property-advances/1080628001/

Indiana is also the home of our current Vice President Mike Pence. And Pence is famously known for being anti-gay. And well here’s what happens when he’s out of his element:

Last year, the Irish prime minister was welcomed by the U.S. president and vice president with open arms — and with open coverage by reporters — ahead of the annual St. Patrick's Day festivities.

But this year, Vice President Mike Pence's breakfast with new Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar will be closed to the media — at the request of the vice president. In a departure from the recent past, reporters were told Friday's event to be attended by Pence and Varadkar will be private and the media won't be invited.

Pence also had a St. Patrick's Day breakfast in March 2017 with Enda Kenny, the Irish prime minister at the time. The difference this year could possibly be Varadkar's visibility as an openly gay man as well as Pence's long record of opposing issues important to the gay and lesbian community.

People are speculating whether issues such as gay and lesbian rights and Pence's stance on gay-conversion therapy might be discussed at their meeting. For instance, the Human Rights Campaign, an LGBTQ civil rights advocacy group, sent a tweet questioning the motive for banning the media from the Pence-Varadkar event.

Read more: https://www.indystar.com/story/news/2018/03/15/mike-pence-faces-backlash-banning-media-meeting-gay-irish-prime-minister/428821002/


[font size="4"]Alabama[/font]

Ah the reigning champions of this conference. There ain’t no messing with Alabama when it comes to the subject of Family Values hypocrisy. I mean after all this is the state that, when we last saw them, they had tried to elect Roy Moore, a champion and NFFSA MVP, to the senate. Only… he lost! Yes, cue the Nelson laugh! Roy Moore lost in one gigantic clusterfuck of an election to Doug Jones, and that state is still reeling from that election. But Roy Moore isn’t the only Family Values hypocrite in the state!

Alabama lawmakers need to protect "our ladies" and to do that, they should not arm teachers because most are women, argued State Rep. Harry Shiver, R-Stockton, this morning.

Most women, and women teachers in particular, "are scared of guns," and should not be expected to carry them in classrooms, he said.

Shiver, in comments to AL.com, echoed the statements he made during this morning's Public Safety Committee hearing in which he said he wanted to protect women teachers.

"I'm not saying all (women), but in most schools, women are (the majority) of the teachers," Shiver told AL.com. "Some of them just don't want to (be trained to possess firearms). If they want to, then that's good. But most of them don't want to learn how to shoot like that and carry a gun."

Read more: http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2018/03/women_scare_of_guns.html#incart_river_index

Wait wait wait wait wait…. OK in one breath you morons say you should “arm the teachers” because reasons, and now you’re saying we shouldn’t arm teachers, because, sexism. Wow, the hypocrisy reeks here! Sexism is definitely rampant in Alabama. And then there’s this guy!

An aide to ex-Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore who qualified Monday with the state GOP for a congressional seat based in Montgomery and the Wiregrass region said he is running on "safety, prosperity and morality," adding that the district doesn't need a "career politician" - a swipe at his primary Republican rival, incumbent Rep. Martha Roby.

Rich Hobson, who managed Moore's special election campaign for U.S. Senate, said in Hoover that Washington is still plagued by special interests, "remnants of the Obama administration" and "weak-kneed Republicans ... who make up the swamp."

"The problems of last year, unfortunately, they still remain," Hobson said. "I want to make sure that we preserve a safe, a prosperous and a moral America for our children and grandchildren."

The race between Roby, Hobson and state Rep. Barry Moore is arguably the most hotly contested House races in Alabama. Meanwhile, national Democrats also have their eyes on capturing the seat.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Sorry Indiana, you may have gay wedding cakes, but no one out crazies the champs in Alabama in this conference! They may have looked tired due to fatigue from the Roy Moore trial but they own this conference in the NFFSA! Final score – Alabama wins it by 12 – 101 – 89.

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 3 and we’re going to be live at the Gila River Arena in Phoenix, Arizona, and this time around the casino moguls in Nevada are going to go for broke against the capitalists in Wisconsin, while Florida will bring their big guns to the dance against Louisiana!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Stone Temple Pilots[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is making their late night debut here, they have a new album that just came out last week with a new lead singer and it is great! Playing their new song called “Roll Me Under”, give it up for the legendary Stone Temple Pilots!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: City National Grove Of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA
Special Thanks To: City National Grove Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
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Stupidest State Hosting: T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas, NV
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-10: The Trumper Games: You're Fired! Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-10: The Trumper Games: You're Fired! Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Who wants a billion dollars? Because that’s the award our show is giving to someone who fills out a perfect bracket. Wait what? My producer Carlos is telling me that there are no perfect brackets anymore. I mean come on, who didn’t have Virginia picked to go all the way? Damn you UMBC!!! Thank you sound effects guy! Just kidding, that was the upset of the century and I watched every second of that game. And no we don’t have a billion dollars to give away. We barely have a hundred. Come on, when you have a budget of zero then sacrifices have to be made, people! Do we have time for the thing? OK good. Hey people – enough of the fan theories! So of course Marvel drops the trailer for Avengers: Infinity War this weekend. Which – by the way – it looks fucking amazing. I mean come on, who doesn’t want to see that Spiderman and Dr. Strange scene? Or that scene with Thor surrounded by lightning? Or Iron Man and Peter Quill in the same room? But really – we don’t need your 40 minute analysis of a 2 minute trailer! OK? Seriously, don’t you people have better and more constructive things to do? Well besides watch us, I mean! And I mean this really happens every single time a blockbuster movie comes out. The trailer is 2 fucking minutes! And just watching the trailer on Youtube, you soon thereafter get bombarded with hundreds of videos of people mindlessly delving into every minute detail of the trailer. It’s madness. It needs to end now! What? I mean just because we see toddler Groot doesn’t mean we need a play by play analysis of it like it’s the final play of the Super Bowl! Stop it people, just stop it! And no I don’t need your prediction videos about what you think is going to happen in Avengers: Infinity War. And I’m a huge fan of the Marvel Universe. Can’t we just sit back, watch movies and enjoy them anymore? why does everything have to have a playbook analysis? I mean it’s just madness. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he takes a long look at the history of our current Vice President Mike Pence:

Ed. Note – We are *NOT* going to cover the Austin bombings. It’s a horrifying story and making fun of it would again violate policy that we don’t make fun of events like this. That would be beneath us.

Taking the first slot this week – is of course our president Donald J. Trump (1) who occupies only a single slot this week. He’s named the latest tributes in this year’s exciting edition of The Trumper Games – Rex Tillerson and Andrew McCabe! Taking the second slot this week is a pro Trump research group called Cambridge Analytica (2), and whew, if you think there’s collusion going on, these guys are taking it to a whole new level! In the third slot this week is the real president of the United States – Vladimir Putin (3), who handily won reelection this week which means 6 more years of sheer terror! But would you be surprised he rigged his own election? We’re not! In the 4th slot this week is West Virginia coal mining CEO Don Blankenship (4) who launched a bid for senate. Yes, these assholes just wont go away! Taking the 5th slot, we’ve got the return of “How Is This Still A Thing” and this time around we’re going to talk about a pair of incidents and ask “Swatting: How Is This Still A Thing”?At number 6 is our weekly sermon on all the wacky things the Christian right is up to this week in “Holy Shit” (6), and this time around, our resident pastor is going to go looking for demons. Because they exist, apparently. In the number 7 slot, we’ve got an all new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” (7) and this time we’re going to ask “WTF is going on with Stan Lee?”. Yes, the Marvel legend is in some deep trouble and we’ll tell you all about it. At number 8 is the Alt Right – we’re going to tell you about their plans to launch their own conference along with Richard Spencer’s terrible no good very bad day. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is a new round of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to get drunk and enjoy a burger prepared by Pasadena’s own Flippy The Robot (9). And finally it’s the long-awaited tip off of our Stupidest State Contest! This week it’s Round 1 Week 1 which will see Iowa battle Kentucky for the king of the Batshit Conference, while Montana will be bringing their big guns against Arizona in an old west duel to the death! Plus we’ll have a live performance from the legendary Arcade Fire! Wait, they were just on Saturday Night Live! What are they doing on our crappy show? Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Ah it’s time for the latest round of the Trumper Games! Wait, give me a second.

Welcome to the latest round of the Trumper Games! Mmmm… yes…. Mmm… yes! Hey Charlie! Why must you give me the cheap champagne? I want the good shit! Much better! So we have the latest two tributes who are descending upon the capital have been eliminated! And we will tell you all about it because it’s insane. This week – not one, but two tributes – one hailing from District 5 South, the other hailing from District 7 – Tribute Tillerson and Tribute McCabe. This isn’t a mere edition of the Trumper Games, this is the Trumper Games: You’re Fired! So who is behind door number one?

This week, amid more than a year of a record-setting number of firings and resignations for the Trump administration, one of the biggest names yet was given his dismissal. Namely, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, whose firing was publicly announced on Tuesday. But on Friday, in a meeting with reporters, White House chief of staff John Kelly reportedly revealed how Tillerson was fired, and the details are about as awkward as it gets.

The meeting Kelly participated in was reportedly off-the-record, which means those reporters who were actually invited were bound not to publicly divulge or detail its contents. Since then, however, multiple outlets (including The Daily Beast and Axios) that weren't in on the meeting have reported on what Kelly said, citing sources familiar with the contents of the call. Since these outlets were not invited to the meeting, they are therefore not bound by it being off-the-record.

As such, The Daily Beast reported on Friday that Kelly discussed what Tillerson was up to when he got the news he'd been fired, and from the sounds of things it was pretty unceremonious. Specifically, Kelly reportedly said Tillerson was sitting on a toilet when he got the call, suffering from an upset stomach while abroad in Africa on official business.

Mmmmmmmmmm… yes! Mmmmmmmmmmmm…. Yes! My pretties, the latest tribute – who was from District 5 South, was eliminated while he was on the toilet! Because in the Trumper Games, anyone can be fired at any time for any reason. Doesn't matter if you're taking a shit or you're getting shit on by a porn star. Hey everyone has something. And this might be the most President Trump thing that has happened since President Trump took office! By the way we have to show the brilliant Saturday Night Live intro from this week which featured John Goodman as the now former Secretary Of State:

That line from John Goodman was brilliant! “One minute you’re the head of a $50 billion corporation, the next you get fired by a guy who used to sell steaks in the mail!”. So who is the latest tribute to take his place in the Trumper Games?

Of all of CIA Director Mike Pompeo’s qualifications to serve as secretary of the State Department, one of the most meaningful in terms of his relationship with the career foreign service may, improbably, be his service as a U.S. Army officer.

From my own 32 years as an American diplomat, including a stint as deputy executive secretary on the seventh floor of the State Department, I observed that Secretaries George Shultz and Jim Baker, both Marine Corps officers, had a genuine appreciation for the work of the officers who staff the bureaus, just as they had for their troops in combat.

As a graduate of West Point and having served as a U.S. Army officer, Pompeo will have a similar in-bred instinct to reach far down into the bureaucratic structure and make every part of the State Department feel that they are, once again, considered a valued part of his team implementing our country’s foreign policy.

As the secretary of the State Department involves deputy assistant secretaries, country directors, desk officers and foreign affairs specialists in formulating policy options and providing in-depth background information to him, morale will soar.

Well, considering that Trump and his Infowars cabal broke American diplomacy it’s going to take a hell of a lot to fix it, Mikey! But Tillerson wasn’t the only tribute eliminated this week! Who is the latest to go in this week’s Trumper Games?

It's hard to say exactly why former top FBI official Andrew McCabe was fired Friday night, hours before he was set to retire with full benefits. The top line from the man who fired him, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, is that McCabe authorized the FBI to talk to the media about a Hillary Clinton-related criminal inquiry, then “lacked candor” when internal investigators asked him about it.

That's all we know for now. The details aren't public because the Justice Department hasn't yet released a report from its own internal watchdog.

The lack of transparency on McCabe's firing leaves room for both sides to say this is really about Russia.

McCabe has said his firing is the latest salvo in an “ongoing war” on the FBI and the special counsel investigating Trump-Russia connections. President Trump immediately pivoted from McCabe's firing over how he handled an aspect of a Clinton investigation to attacking the entire FBI for its ongoing investigation of him.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Yes. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yes. So my pretties FBI investigator Andrew McCabe, was the latest tribute to be eliminated from the games! And the president has spoken! Yes, our dear leader aired his grievances with this particular tribute from his favorite means of communication – the tweet!


To which the president followed it up with:


But it’s not over! We will keep you posted on the latest tributes and developments happening in the Trumper Games! So why was Tribute McCabe eliminated from his competition in the games? There are many theories on that!

While it might be too early to label fired former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe a victim, there is without question one victim in this story: the American people, who have been left to form opinions without benefit of the facts.

With all eyes on the Justice Department’s Office of Inspector General and its forthcoming report on the conduct of FBI officials during the 2016 investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server, Justice leadership chose to act on a subset of the IG’s findings and fire McCabe without providing underlying details.

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[font size="8"]Cambridge Analytica
[br] [/font]

So the guy who currently calls himself the president of the United States – Donald J. Trump, will repeatedly remind you that this is a witch hunt, and that there’s “no collusion!”. And of course Trump doesn't know anything. In fact he is the man who knew too little, and he knows so little that he's forced to just come up with bullshit excuses. Like he did on Monday:


The only real conflict of interest sir, is your office. Thank you! Because this week, Facebook let go of a long time collaborator called Cambridge Analytica. You might not know the name but after this week, it should be forever engrained in your brains:

A former Cambridge Analytica employee accused the data analytics firm of mishandling the personal information of more than 50 million Facebook users in an effort to help Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Christopher Wylie, who helped found Cambridge and worked there until late 2014, told ABC News the company would use the information, including Facebook users’ hometowns, friends and “likes” to influence the behavior of potential voters.

“Cambridge Analytica will try to pick at whatever mental weakness or vulnerability that we think you have and try to warp your perception of what’s real around you,” Wylie told ABC News in the interview. “If you are looking to create an information weapon, the battle space you operate in is social media. That is where the fight happens.”

That is a good point, sir! But there’s far more to this evil act from Facebook and Cambridge Analytica that could possibly do some long term serious damage. Oh and guess who CA’s chief financial backer was? Yup!:

A powerful but previously obscure online data mining firm bankrolled by Albuquerque native Robert Mercer has been thrust into the media glare following revelations that it harvested Facebook user information to help propel Donald Trump into the White House in 2016.

Robert Mercer, a Sandia High School and UNM graduate turned New York hedge fund titan, reportedly plowed $15 million into Cambridge Analytica, which helped both the Trump campaign in the U.S. and the Brexit movement in the United Kingdom. The Journal profiled Mercer and his Albuquerque connections in November.

According to Forbes magazine, Mercer donated $24.6 million to the Republican Party in 2016. He has reportedly invested $10 million into Breitbart, the conservative news site. Financial journals place his net worth at from $900 million to more than a $1 billion.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Well if this is true then Robert Mercer not only violated Facebook’s terms of use, he may have committed some light treason on top of that! But how deep does this thing go? It turns out that Brexit may have been compromised as well!

THE HEAD OF the British parliament’s media committee has accused Facebook of misleading lawmakers by downplaying the risk of users’ data being shared without their consent.

Conservative legislator Damian Collins said he would ask Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg or another executive to appear before his committee, which is investigating disinformation and fake news.

Collins said Facebook has “consistently understated” the risk of data leaks and given misleading answers to the committee.

“Someone has to take responsibility for this,” he said. “It’s time for Mark Zuckerberg to stop hiding behind his Facebook page.”

So Robert Mercer and Facebook may have… just may have committed some light treason. Actually, it may be full bore treason. Oh by the way conservatives – there is no social media conspiracy surrounding conservatives getting shit canned from Facebook and Twitter. You’re getting canned because you’re hateful dicks! Stop being hateful dicks and we’ll stop reporting you! This is getting scarier and scarier and it looks like a whole bunch of people are going to go down for this. Not in that way, sir! Of course they’re going to deny it, because, why not?

Cambridge Analytica, a data analytics firm used by the Donald Trump campaign during the 2016 elections, insisted on Saturday that it did not misuse or hold data obtained from Facebook FB users, despite having been sanctioned by the platform for doing so.

On Friday, Facebook announced that it had suspended Cambridge Analytica , suggesting the firm had not been honest about deleting user data sent to it by the makers of a popular psychology test app.

That particular app, called "thisisyourdigitallife," was itself banned by Facebook back in 2015. However, the social network has accused Cambridge Analytica of holding that data, despite assurances to the contrary.

"Several days ago, we received reports that, contrary to the certifications we were given, not all data was deleted," Facebook said in a blog post . "We are moving aggressively to determine the accuracy of these claims. If true, this is another unacceptable violation of trust and the commitments they made."

Cambridge Analytica now finds itself in the middle of a political firestorm, amid a roiling debate over 'information warfare' that is being used to influence the electoral process. It stands accused of harvesting Facebook user data to profile voters that that were ultimately targeted by the Trump campaign, which spent over $6 million on information obtained by the firm.

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[font size="8"]Vladimir Putin
[br] [/font]

Meanwhile, in Russia… um, we should pay far more attention to what’s going on in that country than we are right now. Because it’s fucking insane. So the real president of the United States, Vladimir Putin, is the new leader of Russia. But of course like all things involving Putin, it’s not without some shady fucking activity surrounding it. And I mean would you be surprised that Trump called Putin after the election and the NSA, FBI, and CIA all explicitly warned him *NOT* to do so? I mean he's under investigation for Russian collusion!

President Trump did not follow specific warnings from his national security advisers Tuesday when he congratulated Russian President Vladi­mir Putin on his reelection — including a section in his briefing materials in all-capital letters stating “DO NOT CONGRATULATE,” according to officials familiar with the call.

Trump also chose not to heed talking points from aides instructing him to condemn the recent poisoning of a former Russian spy in Britain with a powerful nerve agent, a case that both the British and U.S. governments have blamed on Moscow.

The president’s conversation with Putin, which Trump described as a “very good call,” prompted fresh criticism of his muted tone toward one of the United States’ biggest geopolitical rivals amid the special counsel investigation into Russia’s election interference and the Trump campaign’s contacts with Russian officials.


Yeah so that happened. Trump is seriously that guy - if you tell him not to do something, he will do it. Don't push the button. Sure, he'll push that fucking button all right! So here’s how the whole Russian election went down.

(CNN)Sunday's landslide election that handed victory to Russian President Vladimir Putin was "overly controlled" and "lacked genuine competition," international election monitors said Monday.

Michael Georg Link, who led a team of observers from the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE), said election day was conducted professionally and in an orderly manner, but that the vote was held on "an uneven playing field."
He pointed to the extensive media coverage given to Putin on tightly controlled state-run television, the main source of political information in Russia.

"Where the legal framework restricts many fundamental freedoms and the outcome is not in doubt, elections almost lose their purpose," Link said Monday at a news conference in Moscow.


Oh sure who needs fair competition when Vlad has been known to literally murder it? If you’re running against Putin, you might want to have professional food and drink tasters, and maybe a professional car starter on hand 24/7. We’re just saying. You got to protect yourself. And come on in a very one sided election, do you really need exit polls?

Moscow (CNN)Vladimir Putin has extended his grip on Russia for another six years after an overwhelming victory in Sunday's presidential election, a result that was never in doubt.
With 99.8% of the votes counted, Putin won with 76.7%, according to Central Election Commission data. It means Putin will rule until 2024, when he will be 71 and obliged by law to step down.

Putin sailed to victory against the backdrop of wall-to-wall support from state media and with no serious challenger. His nearest rival, Communist Party candidate Pavel Grudinin, won 11.79%,while ultra-nationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky took 5.7%. Former reality TV presenter Ksenia Sobchak was on 1.7%, while veteran liberal politician Grigory Yavlinsky received just over 1% of the vote.

His fiercest opponent, Alexei Navalny, was barred from the race.

And not only was it a win – it was a landslide victory and one of the widest margins in Russian election history. So, audience… HOW BIG WAS IT????

Vladimir Putin cruised to victory in Sunday’s presidential elections in a result that was never in question. His fourth term as president will extend until 2024, making him the first Kremlin leader to serve two decades in power since Josef Stalin.

With results still coming in, Putin looked set to exceed expectations by clinching more than 75% of the vote.

Turnout, which was seen as a measure of the Kremlin’s legitimacy in this uncompetitive campaign, was close to 60% as of 9pm GMT on Sunday evening after a long day of voting. The Kremlin had hoped to match the 65% who cast votes in 2012 and had initially sought 70% turnout.

“Thank you for your support,” Putin told crowds on Manezhnaya Square just under the Kremlin walls, wearing a black down jacket with a fur hood. “Everyone who voted today is part of our big, national team.”

Where fashion sits… putting on the Ritz!! Sorry, got carried away there for a minute. But even the most landslide margins don’t come without some landslide cheating! The Joker from the Dark Knight said it best – “madness is like gravity, all it needs is a little push!”. And that’s exactly what Putin has done!

Russian election observers denounced what they said were large-scale violations in the presidential vote that handed Vladimir Putin a crushing victory, including ballot-stuffing that was captured on state-controlled cameras.

Golos, an election-monitoring organization, said it registered more than 1,500 violations in regions across Russia. Several cases of people stuffing ballot boxes at polling stations, including near Moscow, were recorded on cameras set up by the authorities to ensure a transparent vote.

Opposition leader Alexey Navalny said data compiled by his observers at polling stations showed that the official turnout of 67.5 percent was inflated by 10 percentage points. Navalny was barred from contesting the election and had called for a boycott of Sunday’s vote in protest. There was “widespread fraud,” according to Open Russia, an opposition organization founded by former oil tycoon and Kremlin opponent Mikhail Khodorkovsky.

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[font size="8"]Don Blankenship
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You know you can’t spell the word “conservative” without the word “con”. And nobody cons it up more than a conservative CEO. And more specifically – the CEO of a coal mining company. And even more specific than that – a recently indicted CEO of a coal mining company who served only a years’ time for the untimely deaths of 29 employees caused by a safety violation. Yeah, we’re looking at you, Don Blankenship. Don’t think you can’t get away with this one!

The West Virginia Senate race has an ex-con in the lead of the Republican primary and the GOP is fearing it might become another Roy Moore-level disaster for their party.

Coal baron Don Blankenship is freshly freed from one year in prison after a mining safety incident that killed 29 miners. The incident marked the deadliest coal mining incident in 40 years, and Blankenship was found partially responsible. He became the first ever high-ranking executive who was convicted of a workplace safety violation.

When Blankenship was freed, he filed to run for the U.S. Senate for the Republican Party. As one of the wealthiest and most influential men in Appalachia, according to the New York Times, Blankenship has dumped $450,000 of his fortune into television ads blasting the field of his fellow Republicans. As a result, Politico revealed, he’s shot up in the polls.

Now, the GOP is starting to worry. In a race against conservative Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), Blankenship has to go as far right as the likes of Moore or Pennsylvania congressional candidate Rick Saccone. At the same time, having an ex-con whose lax safety in coal mines killed so many West Virginians isn’t a good look for the Republican Party.

Maybe this is how you drain the swamp – appoint the most disgusting, boorish candidates possible to the ticket, and then they get replaced with someone much better! So you might be thinking why appoint one of the ugliest people possible to run for senate? Well…

On a cold, rainy night in West Virginia coal country this winter, Don Blankenship glares out at a half-empty conference room at the Big Sandy Superstore Arena in Huntington. For almost an hour, the ex-coal executive and ex-con reads off a teleprompter, doing his best impression of a political candidate. For a big man, Blankenship has a surprisingly soft voice. His message is anything but. He talks of his years of union-busting, the twin evils of illegal immigration and opioid addiction—blaming the first for causing the second—and the folly of environmental regulation.

Throughout, he never strays far from the true target of his ire: Democratic Senator Joe Manchin. Blankenship blames Manchin not only for much of what’s wrong with West Virginia, but also for helping put him behind bars.

So just how evil is Don Blankenship? Well, he’s so evil that the GOP is fearing that they’ll have another Roy Moore style scandal brewing in West Virginia. Hey, we can only hope!

National Republicans — on the heels of the Roy Moore and Rick Saccone debacles — worry they’re staring down their latest potential midterm election fiasco: coal baron and recent federal prisoner Don Blankenship.

With Blankenship skyrocketing in the West Virginia Republican Senate primary and blanketing the airwaves with ads assailing his fractured field of rivals as career politicians, senior party officials are wrestling with how, or even whether, to intervene. Many of them are convinced that Blankenship, who served a one-year sentence after the deadly 2010 explosion at his Upper Big Branch Mine, would be a surefire loser against Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin — and potentially become a national stain for the party.

The discussions have intensified over the past few weeks. During separate meetings with the National Republican Senatorial Committee, aides to Blankenship’s two primary opponents, Rep. Evan Jenkins and state Attorney General Patrick Morrisey, pointed to Blankenship’s traction and questioned what could be done to stop him. The Senate GOP campaign arm, which heard out the appeals, recently commissioned a survey to gauge the coal king’s electoral strength and determine his staying power in the race.

Oh come on! Blankenship is too evil for even evil Spongebob! And you don’t want to double cross evil Spongebob! You will not like evil Spongebob! But at least the protestors will hopefully shut him down!

When Don Blankenship came to the WVU Mountainlair, so did protesters.

Minutes after Blankenship, a Republican U.S. Senate candidate and the former CEO of Massey Energy, began talking during a town hall on Thursday, a protester left her seat to place roses on Blankenship's podium.

“These are for Richard K. Lane,” said the protester, who then walked out of the room.

Around 20 others followed her lead, shouting the names of victims of the 2010 Upper Big Branch Mine disaster.

Several protesters screamed profanities. One tore the Don Blankenship sign off the podium and left with it.

The protesters gathered outside the closed door and began singing as Blankenship continued to speak.

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[font size="8"]Swatting: How Is This Still A Thing?
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Time Once Again To Ask:

This week: Swatting. How is this still a thing? The practice of swatting was popularized in the late 2000s by bored teenagers who had an internet connection and way too much time on their hands. But its’ origins may date back to the 1970s, when prank calling people was still a thing. But this week there have been an alarming and exponential increase in the use of the tactics of swatting.

A call of shots fired that sent scores of heavily armed officers to a Northwestern University graduate dorm Wednesday afternoon was apparently a case of “swatting,” a false emergency designed to draw a large police response.

A caller reached the Evanston police from somewhere near Rockford around 2:15 p.m. and said he had shot his girlfriend at Engelhart Hall, just west of the main campus at Emerson Street and Maple Avenue.

Alerts were issued and teams of police were dispatched, but officers found the woman — a Northwestern student — unharmed with “no evidence of a victim, scene or gunman,” said Evanston police Cmdr. Ryan Glew, a spokesman for the department.

“That residence has been vacant since before Thanksgiving,” Glew said of the dorm room at Engelhart. “We’re preparing to call it a swatting incident. ... She was not in any danger.”

Yes, holy shit indeed. So what started out as an innocent prank call led to the swat team descending upon an entire building full of panicked people and shots being fired. Isn’t living in 2018 America fucking great? But if you think this was an isolated incident, think again!

A bogus 911 call that prompted a large law enforcement response in San Marcos and was determined to be a case of "swatting" was traced back to Michigan, the San Diego Sheriff's Department (SDSO) said Thursday.

At least a dozen deputies descended on the San Elijo neighborhood of San Marcos at about 2 p.m. Wednesday after a 911 caller reported that a man had shot his girlfriend and wanted to shoot himself.

Deputies found the person reported as the shooter, who was "shocked" to see law enforcement at his door, SDSO Lt. Eddie Brock said.

It was determined no shots had been fired and no crime had been committed.

Wait, wait, wait, wait… how can police not do some background checks on prank calls? This is absolutely absurd. Swatting is a huge waste of resources just for stirring up stupid shit. And there was yet *ANOTHER* incident in Maryland this week. This is getting ridiculous.

WHEATON, Md. - Police say they found a home in Montgomery County unoccupied after a report of a possible hostage situation was received and are now investigating to see if the incident was a 'swatting' hoax.

The call for a possible barricade and hostage situation was received Thursday morning. Officers say the incident was reported around 10:30 a.m. to a house on Ferrara Drive in Wheaton.

Police originally said the incident was reported as a domestic incident with a possible hostage. Dozens of officers and emergency crews responded to the area of Ferrara Drive and Indigo Road Staging areas were set up and several roads int he area were closed.

Yes, Swatting is just like that clip from Seinfeld – only no book theft was involved. And in case you’re wondering how much the average Swatting call costs, well, the numbers are staggering. People, seriously, don’t swat. It costs us and it costs you.

The third, much more difficult problem, is the relative ease with which individuals can operate relatively anonymously on the internet, using free VoIP numbers, encrypted communications, proxy servers that obscure internet protocol addresses, and similar technologies.

As Finley demonstrated, it’s not impossible to hunt down suspects who use these technologies – it’s just extremely time-consuming and resource-intensive. Finley estimates he spent more than a thousand hours tracking down those two teenagers, neither of whom will spend much time behind bars, yet this is a crime that can cost police departments as much as $100,000 per incident and could result in fatalities. It’s a crime they’re far more motivated to solve than, say, threats issued via Twitter.

Despite all this, there are some who argue that the ability to remain anonymous on the internet is essential, and a sign of a healthy government. “The ability to speak anonymously enables people to express minority opinions,”said Greg Norcie, staff technologist for the Center for Democracy & Technology. “We’re not going to have a situation where we always solve every crime. If you create a situation where society is without crime and risk, it ends up being very totalitarian.”

That’s right – each crank call to a police department can cost upwards of $100,000 or more. Yes, the same number as on chocolate candy bars is how much it costs you to make a SWAT call. And like this incident in California proves – it can also have serious consequences and get you in serious trouble with the law!

It appears Andrew Finch's "swatting" death began with an online session of "Call of Duty: WWII." It's a violent video game designed to emulate combat as seen from a soldier's point of view.
But no one is supposed to die. Not in real life.
On Wednesday, Los Angeles prosecutors filed a warrant aimed at sending Tyler Barriss, 25, the California man suspected of swatting Finch, to Sedgwick County, Kansas, to face a felony false alarm charge.

Swatting is the act of making a false police report -- usually of an urgent or violent crime -- to lure law enforcement or SWAT teams to a location.

Yes, as the old saying goes – don’t get mad, get even. Think of swatting like playing a game of Russian roulette – shoot once fine. Shoot twice, boom. But one thing that the increased use of swatting is showing is that it’s exposing just how violent police can be:

Even taking the police narrative as fact in all of these stories, the outcomes emphasize the need for police officers — particularly those who respond to volatile situations — to be trained in de-escalation, to be screened for hotheads and to be trained to tame their own fear and anxiety. Because sometimes a rifle really is just a pellet gun. Sometimes a hostage situation is a prank. Sometimes a dispatcher gets it wrong. And sometimes a man “reaching for his waistband” is just trying to pull up his pants.

But these stories also show that what the police claim to have seen isn’t what happened. Here at The Watch, we’ve catalogued a litany of cases in which police claimed to have seen unarmed men reaching for their waistbands. No doubt some of them were, so that they could pull up their pants. Even if all of these suspects really did reach for their waistbands, the fact that so many were unarmed would seem to demand that police be trained to understand that reaching for one’s waistband does not necessarily mean one is reaching for a gun and that such an act, in and of itself, doesn’t merit lethal force. It would seem to demand that the courts emphasize this point as well.


So there you have it. There’s high cost, it could get you killed or arrested, and increasingly hostile police mean that anything can happen. That’s enough to make you ask – Swatting:

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and is our weekly duty to tell you why the holiest among us are the most full of:

How great is our Top 10 Gospel Choir? Give it up for them! Now you may be seated, my fair congregation! So… the Good LAWRD has brought us together once again! I will begin this week by asking the same question I have asked the last few weeks. And in this time of healing after a national tragedy who do you turn to for guidance? Well, you definitely don’t turn to this guy!

Radical right-wing pastor Kevin Swanson was not impressed with yesterday’s nationwide walkout in which thousands of students left school to protest gun violence in the wake of the mass shooting last month at a Florida high school, saying that the fact that the movement is being led by young people is a sign that America is under the judgment of God.

On his “Generations” radio program today, Swanson read a passage from Isaiah in which God threatened to punish Judah by warning that “I will give children to be their princes and babes shall rule over them.”

“This is the curse that God places upon nations,” Swanson said. “The people will be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbor. The child will be insolent toward the elder and the base towards the honorable. As for my people, children are their oppressors and women shall rule over them. Oh my people, those who lead you cause you to err and destroy the way of your paths.”

“In other words, the young folks have all this revolutionary zeal but no real wisdom to govern what they are doing,” he said. “This is the result of the breaking of the commandment of God. Things are not going well with us in the land, we are not seeing things going well for tens of millions, if not hundreds of millions of people across the country largely because the massive violation of the Fifth Commandment: Honor your father and your mother.”

Excuse me a minute, my fair congregation! OK, I am back. But seriously now the Christian right has gone off the hook batshit crazy! Because, as we say, my fair congregation, that the holiest among us are also the most full of holy shit! Especially this guy – Mike Shoesmith, who claims that our dearly departed Brother Stephen Hawking, was kept alive by – wait for it – demons! YES DEMONS WALK AMONG US!!!!

On his radio program last week, Donald Trump-loving pastor, conspiracy theorist and birther Carl Gallups interviewed Mike Shoesmith, the executive editor of PNN News, who claimed that famed physicist Stephen Hawking was able to live for decades with ALS because he was being kept alive by demons.

Shoesmith, who normally appears on Gallups’ program to complain about women, insisted that it was no coincidence that Hawking died just weeks after Billy Graham passed away, explaining that Graham’s ministry “really kicked off” in 1942, which prompted the devil to use Hawking, who was born in 1942, to counter Graham’s preaching.

“[Graham] is a hundred percent devoted,” Shoesmith said. “The Lord sees his heart, gives him a tremendous ministry, and who do you think is sitting in the background going, ‘I have to do something about this, this guy is sold out, I have to do something’? Who do you think is sitting in the background doing that? The devil, right?”

“So, in 1942, that is when Billy Graham’s ministry really takes off, and who do you think was born in 1942?” he continued. “Stephen Hawking. Stephen Hawking comes from a long line of atheists—his father and all these people—so I believe the devil said, ‘OK, this guy was just born and I’m going to use this guy. This guy is already primed to accept my message that there is no God. He is already primed for it, he is going to be awash, immersed in atheism all his years as a child, I’m going to take over this guy’s life.'”

Pfff… that dang science! Who needs it??? Because there are DEMONS WALKING AMONG US!!! They must be vanquished by the good lord JAYSUS!!! For after all he is the creator of all things good and holy, can I get an amen??? But demons exist within our own administration! Because apparently our GAWD has taken the form of president Donald J. Trump and is casting demons out!!

Self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor made another appearance on Greg Hunter’s “USAWatchdog” program over the weekend, where he explained that all of the turnover within the Trump administration is simply God removing people from office because they are not on board with His plan to use President Trump to save America.

“As far as the White House is concerned, these people that are getting cut,” Taylor said. “God is separating the wheat from the chaff right now. If you are not on board with God’s vision—and people can blame this on Donald Trump all they want to, but Donald Trump was put in there to institute God’s vision, so you are either on board with God’s vision or you’re gone. It’s as simple as that.”

“We had the biggest victory November 8 that we have ever had in this country,” he said later. “That was Donald Trump becoming president, setting the New World Order way back—I think it’s longer than a 25 or 30 year period because when they start arresting these people, there is no telling how long it is going to devastate the New World Order.”

Yes, and we cast you out as well!!! But fear not – Brother Franklin has a solution! If you fear that demons exist, simply become a republican president of the United States! Because you will be cleansed of your sins!!!

Far-right pastor Franklin Graham claims that Trump has yet ‘to sin’ once since becoming President.

Far-right pastor Franklin Graham claims that Trump has yet ‘to sin’ once since becoming President. According to the Washington Post, Trump lied a reported 2,140 time during his first year in office. Last time we checked, lying is a sin.

Now Brother Franklin, tell me, how does getting spanked with a copy of a magazine picturing thyself not qualify as a sin? Because it certainly is a sin in our book! I can even point you the right chapter and verse where it even says so! But fear not, my fair congregation! For the evil forces of bad nature are descending upon Washington, and only one person can save them!!!

Last night, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau streamed a video on Periscope in which he prayed for President Trump and against Democratic efforts to gain control of Congress in the 2018 elections.

“Those in our own nation that are arming themselves to destroy the will of Your people, the will of a justly elected person,” Wallnau prayed, “Lord, we overturn the Ides of March, the conspiracies and the councils of death and destruction that would try to take this man out of office.”

Wallnau warned that if “the midterm elections prove that the fury and froth and madness stirred up by propaganda by the left” is effective enough to shift control of Congress, then this nation will never have peace or unity because “there is a corrupt root so strongly embedded” in the Democrats.

“I’m telling you now,” Wallnau declared, “the spirit of darkness wants to neutralize this presidency in September [sic] of 2018, but we decree and declare that there is a turning over of the tables for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen, for that reason this man was given a title a honor as president. Though he did not know God fully when he started, he knows that there is a God of Israel right now. Father, we pray, though you have been a God who hides himself, that you will now reveal your arm and foil even the false signs of false prognosticators, counselors, coordinators and schemers working within the political apparatus, the media apparatus, the television, the entertainment, the grassroots organizing, even to dry up the resources of those who are using their wealth as a mechanism to choke the future of the United States.”

Yes, because even JAYSUS doesn’t know what to say, Brother Lance! But the take away I hope you get from today’s sermon is that even though there may be demons everywhere, just remember that we need to stop the demons and god haters!!

On his television program today, End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker warned that liberals in America hate God so much that they are working to remove all the crosses from Arlington National Cemetery.

“Don’t touch God’s anointed,” Bakker said. “You are going to see some things happen, you are going to say, ‘My God, my God, why are people falling over dead?’ Because they have touched God’s anointed.”

Bakker fumed that people are “are so sick in America that they don’t respect anything” and have even “blasphemed Billy Graham’s memory.”

“They don’t respect God,” he said. “You know what they are talking about they’re going to do now? They’re going to remove all the crosses at the great cemetery in Washington.”

Yes, even JAYSUS is speechless on this one! There you have it folks, demons do walk among us and they take the form of the most godly among us! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Our Stan Lee Cameo
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Presenting the finest in arm-chair based investigative journalism. It’s now time for:

Stan Lee. He’s the man, the myth, the legend behind some of the world’s biggest comic book properties and the creator of Marvel Comics. He’s the Hugh Hefner of the comic book world. And his name is synonymous with a celebrity movie cameo. In fact a Google search for “Stan Lee cameos” yields hundreds of sites dedicated to the man’s cameos in his own movies. But recently audit reports came back from Stan The Man’s estate. And well it’s not pretty.

Considering the fact Stan Lee helped create pretty much every single one of the world's most popular superheroes and has an executive producer credit on almost every Marvel movie, you wouldn't think that money would be an issue for him. However, a new report from The Daily Beast reveals that his finances are in a state of disarray because people around Lee are taking advantage of the elderly creator of beloved characters like Spider-Man, the X-Men, The Avengers, and The Incredible Hulk.

One anonymous source describes the situation as "a real f***ing mess" and notes that over the past few months, Lee has lost $1.4 million due to technical issues with a wire transfer, while $300,000 was removed from one of Lee's bank accounts with an allegedly unauthorized cheque made out to Hands of Respect, a company owned by his daughter JC's former business partner, Jerry Olivarez.

That was founded by Lee and Olivarez but the former claims to have not seen any profits from the company despite the fact that a promise was made that it would generate a lot of money. Is Olivarez a con-man? Who knows but sources tell the site that a lot of people are now in Stan and his daughter's life, taking advantage of them in a big to make money off the vulnerable comic book creator.

"[JC’s] she’s never met a con man she doesn’t like, you know?" notes the so-called family insider. "Stan is not a whole lot better. Maybe their contemporaries and friends are all dead, and now they just have a bunch of hangers-on and sketchy-ass people hanging around. I have the feeling that he has been taken by everyone in the world."

So this is actually a pretty scary financial situation regarding Stan The Man. And it’s not looking like it’s going to get any better. So here’s more about this situation.

You’d imagine that—as one of the most important people in comics history, who always happens to have executive produced and had cameos in all of Marvel’s films—Stan Lee wouldn’t exactly have to worry about money. But according to a report from The Daily Beast, Lee’s finances are in a state of disarray thanks to people in his orbit who’ve been taking advantage of him in order to get to his wealth.

Described by one anonymous source as “a real fucking mess,” Lee’s current situation is a complicated one. Over the course of the past few months, Lee lost $1.4 million due to a technical issue with a wire transfer and $300,000 was removed one of Lee’s bank accounts with an allegedly unauthorized check made out to Hands of Respect, an organization that he’s no longer a part of. Hands of Respect was a charity of sorts founded by Lee and Jerry Olivarez, his daughter JC’s former business partner.

Though Hands of Respect was a for-profit company that prominently featured Lee’s involvement in promotional materials, the Lee family claims that they’ve yet to see any profits and are currently looking into auditing the business. Speaking about the partnership, JC cast it in a negative light:

Yes, Stan Lee might actually have to take a job as a UPS driver looking for guys with names like Tony Stank. But his dire financial situation may leave a ripple effect on the entire comic book industry. Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

I have received similar concern from high levels at Marvel Comics, including from those who don’t like Anderson, but do appreciate what Max has done for Stan, keeping him active and alive, as both a manager and a close friend to the man.

While I understand that there was friction between Stan Lee, JC Lee, Max Anderson and other business partners, the loss of Stan’s wife Joanne Lee seems to have brought things to a head.

The Daily Mail has exclusively run a number of reports alleging that Stan Lee abused and harassed nursing and healthcare individuals, and Max Anderson was first intimated and then named as being involved with these incidents, even being the instigator. And of a further incident at Stan’s home.

They also brought up charges from Anderson’s past on domestic abuse involving his wife in 2002 and his son in 2010, the first of which he spent time in jail for and the second of which, he was on probation. I understand that Stan was aware of these convictions.

Yes, maybe Stan should call on the Hulk to smash this into oblivion. Because he’s in a deep state of financial burden and it doesn’t look like it’s going away any time soon. Especially when you factor that he’s been taken for quite a large sum of money.

Two San Bernardino men have been arrested and charged with felonies for the alleged theft of a trove of Marvel Comics collectibles valued at $1.4 million.

Some of the items recovered include movie props such as “Captain America” shields, the arm and hand of Nebula from “Guardians of the Galaxy,” an Einherjar shield from “Thor,” an “Iron Man” mask, and a set of X-23 claws from “Logan.” Signed artwork by retired Marvel publisher Stan Lee and a special edition “Spider-Man” electric guitar were also recovered.

The investigation by the San Bernardino County sheriff’s Rancho Cucamonga station began Feb. 22 when the unidentified collector received word that several of his Marvel items were appearing for sale on the internet, leading him to discover his storage facility had been burglarized.

One of the alleged suspects was identified from information he had provided interested buyers, a release from the Sheriff’s Department said.

Detectives developed leads and Ian Florez, 35, of San Bernardino was arrested Feb. 24 on a warrant. Court records show a not guilty plea on charges of grand theft and burglary. He’s currently free on bond.

Yes, that is a good question, Cap. What are you going to do to make things right? Well, this is a very sticky situation that needs to be resolved with Stan Lee. And we will keep an eye on this situation as it develops. That concludes this week. Good day.

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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If you’ve played the amazing game Super Mario Odyssey, you will probably know where I’m going with this next entry. So if Donald Trump is Bowser, the Alt Right are like Bowser’s minions in the game – known as the Broodals. The same assholes (Cernovich, Posobiec, Loomer, Lahren, Spencer, Alex Jones) show up to ruin every party, their abilities get crazier and crazier, but you have to fight them. And the fights get more intense every time. And when you kick them down, they get right back up again. So case in point – when you fight them out of CPAC, what do they do? Start their own conference!

Ali Akbar, a political operative in the self-described “New Right” movement, formally announced yesterday that a “team of 25 professionals” are working to create a right-wing political conference meant to be an alternative to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which has served as the primary gathering of the conservative movement for decades.

Akbar, with the help of a signal boost from pro-Trump pundit and activist Jack Posobiec, announced yesterday that the “American Priority” conference will take place in Washington, D.C. in early September. Akbar is organizing the conference with Alex Phillips, a conservative donor who owns a small telecom company in Virginia. Posobiec told Right Wing Watch that he helped announce the event, but otherwise is not formally involved in organizing it.

The group has also hired Lisa DePasquale, who directed CPAC while working for the American Conservative Union from 2006 to 2011, to help host the conference.

So now things are getting interesting! Yes – we have an entirely new conference to ignore! I mean “alt right”, “new right”, “alt lite”, who gives a shit what they’re called this week? We should just start calling them what they really are – Nazis! And by the way doesn’t “alt lite” sound like it should be some sort of new diet soda? Try new Alt Lite today! Now with 50% more cucks! And speaking of that, last week, after the epic fail at Michigan State University (and no, I’m not counting their epic loss to Syracuse last week), Richard Spencer decided to call it quits.

Instead, it turned into a disaster, as restaurants and clubs booted Spencer and his followers seeking to hold a meeting/party and more people were arrested outside of his speech than heard it inside.

Spencer spoke at the agricultural pavilion on the East Lansing, Michigan campus on Monday. But, only about a dozen people turned out to hear the speech as more than 200 students, professors, antifa activists and anarchists protested outside on a cold, windy overcast day.

And, while the dozen made it in after getting a police escort through a gauntlet of taunts and cheers to “Nazis Go Home!” 24 people, including Gregory Conte, a Spencer ally and operations director for the National Policy Institute, were arrested.

Well it wont be springtime for Hitler at Richard Spencer’s house. Thank you! And then would you be surprised that the head of an alt whatever organization was arrested for assault on his wife? This story has everything!

Matthew Heimbach, the leader of the Traditionalist Worker Party, is free on bond after being charged with battery in southern Indiana after a bizarre sequence of events involving Heimbach having an affair with his chief spokesman’s wife.

Police in Paoli, Indiana, said Heimbach attacked his wife and TWP spokesman Matt Parrott early Tuesday morning after the two confronted him about the affair with Parrott’s wife.

After the arrest, Parrott announced he was walking away from the group.

“I’m done. I’m out,” Parrott told the Southern Poverty Law Center on Tuesday. “SPLC has won. Matt Parrott is out of the game. Y’all have a nice life.”

Sounds about right! But in case you’re wondering who’s really the charge – who’s really the captain steering this janky ship right now – it’s the alt right! It’s almost as if we’re living in the Matrix!

Condemning neo-Nazis and white nationalists seems like a goal many politicians can get behind (with the possible exception of President Donald Trump).

But, a group of Republican lawmakers in Tennessee opted to let a resolution opposing the racists die in a subcommittee rather than let it go forward.

House Joint Resolution 583 failed to get a second in the House State Government Subcommittee because no one would second a motion to take up the issue.

The resolution condemned bigotry by white nationalists and neo-Nazis. It also stated that Tennessee “and its people will not tolerate discrimination or hate in any form or manifestation.”

Law enforcement agencies would have also been urged to treat such groups as terrorist organizations and investigate criminal elements of the groups in the same way terrorists are handled.

And here's where the Alt Right blurs the line between a full cult and just a group with a batshit crazy message. Mike Cernovich claims that he believes in something called "the Gorilla Mindset" and even he's not sure what that means. I mean really he sounds like the Grandmaster from Thor: Ragnarok!

Mike Cernovich, a pro-Trump social media personality and self-declared leader of a movement he calls the “New Right,” claimed that nobody knows his true political beliefs and that the only thing he believes in is the “Gorilla Mindset,” the mentality behind his his self-help book and lifestyle brand.


“Don’t you dare say I endorse Louis Farrakhan. Don’t you dare say that when I throw out an idea that people are talking about, that that’s my view. You don’t know what I believe. Nobody knows what I believe. I’ve told people that the only thing that I believe is ‘Gorilla Mindset,’” Cernovich said, referring to his brand of self-help books and nutritional supplements. “I’ve told people that.”

He continued, “People go, ‘What’s your political things, what’s your politics?’ I go, ‘Look, I’m just a vessel for what people are saying. I’m just a talk show host.’ This is what I grew up watching and it was a beautiful time. Geraldo Rivera, you would just bring in people and say, ‘OK, here’s a bunch of crazy people. Here’s what the crazy people are saying.’ The world was a better place. The world was a better place when you could just say, ‘Here’s what all the lunatics are saying. Here’s what’s going on.’”

Cernovich said that this “mindset” is his top priority, and that politics naturally “flow from that.”

“I believe in the power—liberal, conservative, Christian, Jew, Catholic, Muslim, atheist, agnostic—I believe in the power to change your life and I believe that if you adopt a positive mindset that politics is going to flow from that,” Cernovich said.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink

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It’s now time for:


And man I need a drink. I feel like every time Trump fires someone we should all collectively take a shot of something, that way we will get blackout drunk and when we come to, this nightmare of an administration will be over! So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a cheeseburger prepared by a robot? A fuzzy navel? Eh, I’ll just have a large IPA thanks! Ah that’s more like it. So we’re going just slightly north of my hometown to Pasadena for this story. Yes, there is a robot that flips burgers, and yes, it outlasted the employees. But this story is stranger than you would think!

A year after announcing a partnership with Caliburger, Miso Robotics’ resident chef has finally graduated Hamburger University. The AI-enabled line cook starts today, joining the human crew at the fast casual restaurant’s Pasadena location during the lunch shift.

The deal has been in the works for some time, with plans to bring the robot to 50 of the chain’s international locations. Back in September, around the same time Miso CEO Dave Zito was on-stage at Disrupt SF, Flippy was being demoed at the Pasadena restaurant — the robotics’ company’s home turf. Today, however, the first real world implementation of the technology.

The initial appeal of the system is pretty clear for a restaurant like Caliburger, which will no doubt drum up some publicity for its early adoption of robotic kitchen equipment. But along with the other investors that have helped Miso raise a total of $14 million in disclosed funding, there’s hope for long-term benefits in an industry where turnover is a big obstacle in keeping a kitchen up and running.

So Flippy is the… mmm… that’s a good beer right there, but Flippy is the product of mass market research and $14 million of innovation engineering. That’s about the best I can sound like a marketer because otherwise I have no idea what I am talking about! What? I’ve never designed a robot before! Let’s explore further.

"Flippy" the robot has learned the hard way that your co-workers can make or break you.

The burger-flipping robotic fry cook has been temporarily "retired." Why? Because the robot's human colleagues couldn't keep up with it.

Built by Miso Robotics, Flippy, described on the company's website as "the world's first autonomous robotic kitchen assistant," was touted as a high-tech helper for fast-food restaurant kitchens in a statement announcing its unveiling in 2017. Equipped with a spatula-tipped arm, Flippy was built to operate alongside human workers and to increase efficiency in cooking and grill maintenance.

But poor Flippy faced unexpected challenges in meeting the demands of hungry restaurant patrons, and was relieved of his responsibilities after only two days on the job. [The 6 Strangest Robots Ever Created]

But it wasn't Flippy's fault. Rather, the robot's human co-workers weren't able to assemble the burgers as quickly as Flippy could grill the patties, USA Today reported.

Aw, you can’t fire Flippy! He’s Flippy… he’s a robot! So in case you’re wondering about how Flippy works there’s a lot of interesting stuff here for you people who like to figure that sort of thing out.

Next time you swing by a fast food joint for a burger, don’t be surprised if you see a one-armed robot at work in the kitchen. That’s probably just Flippy the burger-flipping robot doing its job.

Flippy is an autonomous assistant designed to work alongside humans in restaurant kitchens. Created by Miso Robots of Pasadena, California, Flippy recently completed its first shift at a fast food restaurant there — and one day could be put to work in kitchens across the country.

In Pasadena, Flippy is working the lunchtime shift at a CaliBurger restaurant, part of a restaurant chain that also has outlets in Canada, Mexico, and China. But human burger-flippers needn’t flip out about losing their jobs to Flippy; humans are still needed to place the raw patties on the grill and perform other burger-cooking tasks.

I really would like to see a robot that can high five itself! Excuse me a minute, I need some more Jack Daniels. Ah, that’s the stuff! So for those of you who are afraid that automation is really what’s going to take your jobs, take comfort in knowing that Flippy won’t be the beginning of the end!

Flippy, the burger-flipping robot has been fired from his job, just one day after starting. Flippy was ‘hired’ by Pasadena Caliburger, with the KPI of cooking 150 burgers an hour.

Unfortunately, the task proved too much for the robot who appears to have given up. At the time of hiring, the CEO of Cali Group the company that runs the burger chain was reported as saying, "The key to success in the restaurant industry is consistency. So anytime you go to a CaliBurger anywhere you know that the patty will be cooked exactly the same.”
Flippy will make a comeback

But it doesn't seem to have worked out. Flippy was developed by Miso Robotics and is actually like a giant robot arm rather than a cute humanoid burger maker.

Flippy used thermal imaging, 3D, and camera vision to sense when to flip the burgers - and when to remove. "It detects the temperature of the patty, the size of the patty and the temperature of the grill surface," explained David Zito, co-founder and chief executive officer of Miso Robotics.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 1
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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome to Round 1 Week 1 of our Stupidest State contest! We are live in our hometown of Anaheim, California at the Honda Center. We have not one, but two exciting matchups for you. Game 1 will see the team that had the best record in the regular season – Iowa, against long time conference favorite Kentucky! Meanwhile, game #2 will be a big one as Arizona and Montana are going to bring out their big guns in an old west duel to the death in a rematch of last year’s conference championship! And just like the NCAA – the winner will move on. The loser will go home. So let’s get out our brackets!

[font size="6"]Game 1: Batshit Conference – Iowa Vs. Kentucky [/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

Well come on, “United We Stand”, a common phrase for the gun nuts, is in the state flag! That’s the Blue Grass state everybody. It’s the one state in the union that was the first to vote for @realDonaldTrump. Of course we know that this state is the home of our most batshit crazy senators – Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. It’s also the home of ultra far right fundie nutbag governor Matt Bevin. And it’s the state that gave us religious right celebrity Kim Davis. It’s the home of the University Of Kentucky and their mutli champion basketball team the UK Wildcats. It’s also the home of the Louisville Cardinals who were at the center of one of the dumbest school scandals of all time. But what else is Kentucky the home of? It’s the home of a possible child bride law!

Just when you think the Republican Party can sink no lower, just when you assume the party that supported a child molester for Senate in Alabama and elected an admitted sexual predator to the White House they discover a whole new, hitherto unimagined, degree of depravity.

The Courier-Journal reports that Republicans in the Kentucky Senate have voted down a measure to raise the minimum age for marriage to eighteen. The GOP decided it was more important to ensure parents can easily marry off their children than it was to prevent child marriages.

The bill the Republicans rejected was called the “Child Bride Bill,” which perfectly puts into perspective how vile the opposition to it was. Supporters of the blocked legislation said that most underage marriages involved an older man and a teenage girl who most likely has been sexually exploited. It’s sadly not surprising that the party of Trump — a man accused of raping a 13-year-old girl — would support such a despicable move.

That’s suddenly that much creepier. We have to keep these things short for time since there’s two matches per round this week. What else is Kentucky the home of? You think their national level politicians are bad, wait until you see what their state level ones are doing!

FRANKFORT, Ky. – One premise behind a bill pending in the Kentucky House that would roll back long-established unemployment benefits is that limiting benefits will motivate laid-off workers to try harder to find a job.

Instead of getting unemployment checks for the current maximum of 26 weeks, they would only be able to get them for a number of weeks tied to the state unemployment rate. Right now, that means they'd get 14 weeks.

“We’ve got a segment of folks that use their unemployment instead of getting out there and looking for employment," said Rep. Jim DeCesare, a Rockfield Republican and sponsor of the bill. He said Kentucky ranks second among states in the length of time its people remain on unemployment benefits.

[font size="4"]Iowa[/font]

So Iowa is a state that we haven’t covered here in the Stupidest State contest. Iowa is the home of farming country but it also is the home of two of the world’s major universities – Iowa University and Iowa State University. You might remember Iowa as the school that got their asses handed to them in the 2016 Rose Bowl when they took on Stanford. The Hawkeye State is also the home of lots of great sports, food, and concerts in the states’ two main major cities – Cedar Rapids (as seen in the Ed Helms movie Cedar Rapids) and the capital Des Moines. What else is Iowa the home of? Well, again, some batshit insane legislatures! I give you Bill Dix!

The consequences of now-former Senate Majority Leader Bill Dix’s relationship with a lobbyist did not end with just with his abrupt resignation. Ripple effects from the scandal that shook the Statehouse continue to be felt in the Capitol and beyond. Here’s what’s happening:

Top Senate Aide Steps Down

Ed Failor, the senior aide to former Senator Dix, announced late Tuesday afternoon that he was resigning from his position. He explained that he wanted the new Republican leader (who will be selected today) to be able to put together his own team in the office. Some members of the Republican caucus were reportedly frustrated with Failor for what they saw as his poor handling of the Kirsten Anderson sexual harassment issue, though it does sound like Failor’s decision on Tuesday was his own.

And then Iowa is also the home of a guy named Mark Chelgren. We’ve talked about this douche on the Top 10 before but we’ll leave you with one of his greatest hits.

Iowa’s public universities would need to consider political party affiliation when hiring new faculty members, under a bill proposed by a Republican state senator.

State senator Mark Chelgren said the measure was an attempt to counter the liberal slant at the state’s three public universities.

“My goal isn’t to eliminate speech on the other side of the equation, but we have to have balanced speech,” said Chelgren, from Ottumwa.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we may have our first upset of the tournament – Kentucky came out strong here and went on a 15 – 1 run against Iowa! And… they won! Kentucky is celebrating on the court, they knocked off the heavily favored Iowa by a score of 89 – 67! Wow, what a finish! Kentucky routes the division champs and they will move on!

[font size="6"]Game 2: Gun Nut Conference – Montana Vs Arizona [/font]

[font size="4"]Montana[/font]

So when we last left off Montana was in the middle of that insane special election where Greg Gianforte body slammed and threatened to murder a reporter – and doubled down on his threat – and he still got elected! That will show you how violent the state of Montana is. And of course the topic here is guns. I mean we are in Montana, after all! They have the highest concentration of gun manufacturers and racist hate groups in the entire country. There’s really not a lot to do in Montana but hate and shoot the biggest guns known to man. Here’s how reckless the ven diagram of both groups are:

Threats against schools: A Darby senior was in court this week after telling fellow students he was "going to shoot up the school." MacLean William Kayser, 18, told classmates that those wearing yellow shirts to school the following day would be "a target'' but those in red shirts would be safe. He then pointed at various students, saying “you’re a red shirt” or “you’re a yellow shirt,” according to an affidavit of probable cause filed Tuesday in Ravalli County Justice Court.

On Thursday, Missoula's Big Sky High School was on lock-in after graffiti was found in a girls' bathroom that said "Don't be at Big Sky at 1:20." The school allowed parents to pick up teir kids.

On Wednesday, Darby Superintendent Loyd Rennaker confirmed another social media threat toward the school. Extra law enforcement officers were at the school Wednesday, including four Ravalli County Sheriff's Department officers and Darby Police.

In Philipsburg, a student was arrested and charged with a felony. Granite County Sheriff Scott Dunkerson said the student made threats against schools in the town.

In Missoula, Big Sky High School dealt with reports that a student made a verbal threat toward the school. The school's "threat assessment team" found there to be a "low threat" to the school, and the student is back in classes.

That’s right – the gun nuts in Montana are so insane that they literally threatened multiple schools that participated in last week’s walk out. You can’t get much more evil than that folks! And in case you’re wondering how much Montana loves its’ guns, well, once again state laws are more insane than national laws!

Since the shooting and killing of 17 people at a high school in Parkland, Florida, on Feb. 14, the Montana chapter of Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense has been busy.

The group, which formed shortly after the 2012 school shooting in Sandy Hook, where 27 were killed, has seen a huge increase in people liking their Facebook page, commenting on posts and sending messages asking how to get involved. A first meeting of the group's Bozeman chapter last week had 80 people, said Kiely Lammers, the Billings chapter leader who is involved in the statewide organization.

A national movement, led by a strong-voiced and even stronger-willed group of high school students, is bringing a dialogue on changing gun laws to states like Montana. Over the past week and a half here, high school and college student groups have rapidly formed and added to the chorus of groups like Moms Demand Action, which has been involved in statewide legislative efforts for several years.


[font size="4"]Arizona[/font]

We are back in Arizona everybody! Yes the state that gave us batshit crazy governor Jan Brewer, the Minutemen Militia, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio once again shows no signs of slowing down when it comes to producing some of the country’s craziest gun laws. Arizona is one of the most heavily red states that somehow managed to go for Obama mainly because the GOP had no other candidate. But in 2018 Arizona, Infowars conspiracy theories and Trump propaganda reign supreme! In fact you know that law that Trump is proposing to arm teachers in the event of a mass shooting? Who needs it? Arizona had that law on the books already!

PHOENIX — The White House earlier this week proposed providing "rigorous firearm training" to qualified school personnel, furthering the polarizing national debate over whether teachers should be allowed to carry guns in school.

In Florida, site of last month's massacre that left 17 dead, Gov. Rick Scott signed into law a set of new gun restrictions that allow some teachers and staff to carry guns on school campuses.

But Arizona may be ahead of this curve. Here teachers already can carry guns in school — with permission — according to the state's top education administrator.

And I mean come on – Arizona republicans have even lost the youth vote! I mean when you’ve lost them, you’ve hit rock bottom! And when you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go from here but up, is there? Oh and Mr. Martinez, sir, we say “good luck with that!”.

On Wednesday, however, the 16-year-old announced to a crowd of reporters, activists, and lawmakers that he'd be stepping down until the Republican Party takes action to prevent gun violence.

"For those of you who will attack me because of this decision, let me remind you that I am not against the Second Amendment," he said. "I am not against people owning guns. But I am against students being gunned down because we don't like to get together, work across the lines, and figure out these issues like human beings."

Martinez, who attends Dobson High in Mesa, has been active in politics for several years. He volunteered for Ted Cruz's presidential campaign, and helped out with Kelli Ward's last Senate run. Arriving at the state Capitol on Wednesday, however, he was disappointed to find out that Republican legislators weren't interested in listening to teenagers who'd come to talk about gun control.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh this was a close match. It was back and forth the entire game with Arizona shouting that their guns are bigger than Montana’s. The score is 65 – 65 going into the last 10 seconds… Montana for the win!!! And it’s in!!!! Montana wins against heavily favored Arizona! They are celebrating on the court, and they will move onto the next round! Oh man what a game!

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

For Round 1 Week 2 – we’re live at the beautiful T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, and it’s Kansas going for broke against the coal mining CEOs in West Virginia, while Indiana and Alabama square away in a Family Values face off!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Arcade Fire[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you don’t have their new album “Everything Now” by now, you are no friend of this show. Playing their song “Put Your Money On Me”, give it up for Arcade Fire!!!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: City National Grove Of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA
Special Thanks To: City National Grove Management
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-9: Give My Regards To Mr. Magoo Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-9: Give My Regards To Mr. Magoo Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Whew!!!!! You know how it’s going to be a good day when you start off the day with that little spring in your step? Because no matter how bad your day gets, just remember – anything bad that happens to Pharma Douche Martin Shkreli is definitely something that makes the day that much better! So we have discussed this story so much on the Top 10 since it began because I love this story. So you know that Martin Shkreli is the only owner of the Wu Tang Clan’s single-printed album “Once Upon A Time In Shaolin”, right? And remember when the Wu Tang Clan wrote into the contract that they could pull off a heist and steal the album at any time? Well, it looks like Once Upon A Time In Shaolin might be the subject of a government civil asset forfeiture. In fact Shkreli bragged about how he wanted to destroy the only copy of the album at one point. And then he made that promise to release the album if Trump became president? And then he got duped by the Wu Tang Clan who revealed that he might have purchased a fraudulent copy of the album? Well now he must forfeit the album as part of a $7.4 million payback. Which officially brings closure to this insane story. Although part of me really wants to see if the Wu Tang Clan pulls off a heist to retrieve it back from Shkreli. You still got time guys before the album becomes the property of the US government! OK enough of the intro – we got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he exposes the insanity behind the NRA’s NRATV channel:

So where do we start this week? Well, first off returning to the number one spot this week is Donald J. Trump (1)! And he hit a milestone last week – he hit 100 days spent on the golf course! Trump golfs while America burns. In the second slot this week is also Donald Trump (2), who had one of his worst weeks ever this week. Turns out he’s running the worst White House in history! In the number 3 seed this week is the real president of the United States – Vladimir Putin (3), and it turns out that he has a powerful new weapon that could kill a whole lot of us. Taking the fourth slot this week is United Airlines (4). And just when you think you’ve seen the depths of corporate greed and evil, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Speaking of income inequality, taking the fifth slot this week is a new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” (5) and this time we’re going to discuss an income inequality crisis brewing at Disneyland. It’s much scarier than you would think! Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly sermon on the things the Christian right is up to in “Holy Shit” (6), and among other wackiness, Pastor Initech is going to show you a church where you can literally marry your gun. At number 7 is our old buddy Alex Jones who was hopping mad this week after advertisers started pulling from his Youtube channel, while he held a march in Austin, Texas and well, it was a spectacular fail. In the number 8 slot, is Donald Trump’s HUD secretary and brainless brain surgeon Ben Carson – who revealed that governmenting is hard, after getting heat for spending $31K on his office space. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to discuss booze news, particularly whiskey brand Johnny Walker and their new women-oriented marketing campaign. And finally it’s the return of the National For Fuck’s Sake Association and the long-awaited return of our Stupidest State contest! We have a lot of newcomers this year and some exciting changeups. This week it’s our Selection Sunday and just like March Madness we’ll name the states that will get to participate in the tournament! And we’ll close out this week with a live performance from Weird Al Yankovic! Yes, the almighty parodist has graced us with his presence! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So this week our president Donald J. Trump hit a new milestone. And he is going to keep it 100 by spending so much time golfing! I mean remember when he said that he was going to be “working so hard that he wouldn’t have any time for golf”? Well, guess where he was this week? That’s right – he was at his old favorite hangout place – Mar-A-Shithole. Only this time it’s different because of this venerable milestone. Well, two milestones actually. We don't usually talk poll numbers on this program but this one I absolutely love.

President Donald Trump’s new campaign manager has his work cut out for him.

A week after naming Brad Parscale to run his reelection effort, Trump is 8 points behind a generic Democratic candidate, 44 percent to 36 percent, according to a new POLITICO/Morning Consult poll. Nearly one in five voters, 19 percent, are undecided.

Other indicators also suggest Trump is in perilous shape at this early stage. The president’s approval rating in the new poll is 43 percent, down from 46 percent last week. And Democrats’ lead on the generic congressional ballot is up to 7 points, 44 percent to 37 percent.


That's right - Trump is so toxic that the democrats right now could literally run *THAT GUY* and win! But here's the other milestone I wanted to talk about. Trump is keeping it 100! He went and celebrated his 100th day at the golf course.

Almost fourteen months into his presidency, Donald Trump has reached a dubious milestone that none before him have achieved: He’s spent his 100th day at a golf club bearing his own name.

Considering he’s only been in office for 408 days, that means he’s spent almost 25 percent of his time at a Trump-branded golf club, including during the funerals of Parkland victims, while millions of Americans remained without water and power in Puerto Rico, and for an entire week after Christmas.

The landmark was reached on Saturday at Trump’s club in Palm Beach County, Florida. CNN reports that this is one of the four Trump courses that the president has visited since he took his oath, in addition to Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida; Trump National Golf Club in Sterling, Virginia; and Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey.

Trump was extremely critical of President Obama’s golfing habits. Before he got into office, Trump infamously said that he wouldn’t have time to play golf if he was president. But since his inauguration, he has spent a staggering amount of time at his golf properties — and he is showing no signs of stopping any time soon. Around Christmas time, Trump spent nine out of 10 days playing golf. In January, he spent Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on the golf course.


Remember – his words, not mine! So with that in mind let’s take a look at some of Trump’s greatest golf hits. Not even a few weeks ago, remember when Hawaii had that insane nuclear missile scare? Guess where Trump was!

Critics are blasting President Donald Trump for continuing to golf Saturday while frantic Hawaii residents rushed for cover after a false cell phone alarm about an incoming ballistic missile.

The president was on the course at his Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, after the alert was issued at 1:09 p.m. EST, according to press pool reports. His motorcade didn’t leave the club for Mar-a-Lago until 1:38 p.m.

Although Hawaii’s Emergency Management Agency quickly tweeted that the initial warning was an error, it took 38 minutes before a second mobile alert declared the first a false alarm. Officials said the wrong button had been pushed.

Yeah remember that guy? I remember when presidents used to hide the fact that they’re completely full of shit! Now it’s out in the open! See, we know Trump is full of shit! And his supporters are apparently proud of this fact! You know where he was during the Florida shooting? Guess where!

CNN’s Anderson Cooper and other critics are taking Donald Trump to task after the president visited Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, for several hours on Monday while funerals for some victims of the Parkland school massacre were taking place less than an hour’s drive away.

“The president tweeted and played golf today, a day that saw two families bury their children,” Cooper said on Monday, referring to two of the victims of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, which killed 17 people. “He did not mention them in his tweets.”

In addition to hitting the putting green, Trump spent the President’s Day holiday weekend angrily tweeting about Oprah Winfrey, former President Obama and the Russia investigation. In one tweet, he attributed the FBI’s admitted failure to follow up on a report about the school shooter to spending too much time on the Russia investigation.

And on Trump’s Keep It 100 milestone – let’s remember that he’s not just a guy who’s addicted to golfing, he’s terrible at it!

LPGA legend Suzann Pettersen is fond of the sitting U.S. president. But she's not so sure about his handicap.

In an interview with Norwegian newspaper Verdens Gang, Pettersen detailed the many sides to her relationship with President Trump, whom she has known on and off the golf course for over a decade.

"He cheats like hell," the 15-time LPGA Tour winner said. "So I don't quite know how he is in business. They say that if you cheat at golf, you cheat at business." Pettersen also said the president must pay his caddies well, as drives that are headed for the woods always ends up back in the fairway. She also mentioned his fondness for gimmes.

The merits of President Trump's 3 handicap have come under scrutiny since he took office. Sen. Lindsey Graham told GOLF.com's Michael Bamberger about a round of 73 Trump shot in "wet, windy conditions," and aspiring pro Taylor Funk recently reported that Trump had shot 36 on the front nine during their round together. But Pettersen said in the interview that she hasn't seen that side of his game.

Yup – Trump is a real life Goldfinger! And in case it couldn’t be anymore obvious that Trump is the Country Club President, well, Trump may have violated the law this week. He obeys the best laws, folks!

The Trump Organization could be in hot legal water after ordering markers for its golf courses that feature the presidential seal, ProPublica reported Monday.

President Donald Trump's namesake company ordered the new tee markers, complete with the presidential seal, in recent weeks. Federal law forbids the seal be used for anything other than official government business.

Eagle Sign and Design, which has offices in Indiana and Kentucky, told ProPublica that it received an order for dozens of 12-inch replicas of the presidential seal to be placed next to tee boxes at Trump courses.

"We made the design, and the client confirmed the design," Joseph E. Bates, who owns the company, told ProPublica, declining to name the client.

ProPublica reviewed an order form that said the customer was "Trump International." At the same time, the company's Facebook page showed the markers in an album titled "Trump International Golf Course."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Trump has been having his worst week ever. And the hits keep on coming. But before we get into the colossal fuck up of Jared and Ivanka, well, I have to talk about this story. And I couldn’t love this story any more. So Trump blew up at Jeff Sessions this week. And it’s not too far for Trump to go off the deep end, that’s been happening since day one. But Trump compared Jeff Sessions to a beloved cartoon character. Let’s show that.

The correct answer: Mr. Magoo, the much-loved old-school cartoon character (in the words of animators Bill Hurtz, Peter Burness, and authors Marty Gitlin and Joe Wos, respectively). After a long hiatus, on Wednesday night Magoo made a surprise return to pop culture, his name bouncing around cable news and trending on Twitter — all thanks to White House intrigue.

As The Washington Post reported, President Trump’s relationship with Attorney General Jeff Sessions has reached a new low. Trump has reportedly taken to calling Sessions “Mr. Magoo” at the White House. Coming from a president known for throwing derisive nicknames at enemies and allies, the dig could be a comment on anything from Sessions’s mental prowess to his age to physical appearance. Only Trump knows.

But there is another high-profile, tremendous, bigly important executive branch figure who may be a more apt comparison with Magoo.

The central gag of the Magoo cartoons was his stubborn refusal to acknowledge his terrible eyesight. That arrogance is what propels the character into his madcap adventures. The cartoons, however, were actually barbed social satire lobbed from Magoo’s creators, a freewheeling band of animators who broke away from Walt Disney after World War II and created shorts mixing modern art and radical politics. The original Magoo — rich, resentful of the youth, pro-business and functionally blind — was a riff on the myopic conservatism of 1950s America, a culture gripped by the anti-Communist crusade of Republican Sen. Joseph McCarthy (Wis.).

Well, Mr. Trump, give my regards to Mr. Magoo. And Jeff Sessions does look like Mr. Magoo, doesn’t he? I mean come on remember when an article like this would be front page news? “President Refers To Attorney General As Cartoon Character” would be front page news in any other administration. Now it’s like on the fourth page. So here’s the latest guy to jump ship from the HMS Trumptanic:

Washington (CNN)In a defiant pair of CNN interviews, former Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg said Monday he refuses to comply with a grand jury subpoena in the Russia investigation.
"Screw that," Nunberg told CNN's Gloria Borger. "Why do I have to go? Why? For what?"

And in a separate interview with CNN's Jake Tapper, Nunberg said he blamed the investigation's existence on President Donald Trump's firing of James Comey as FBI director -- including an interview where Trump said he was thinking about the Russia investigation when he fired Comey and the fact that he held a meeting with top Russian officials in the Oval Office.
"Donald Trump caused this because he's an idiot," Nunberg said.

Yes… abandon ship!!! We may have to do a deep dive on this guy in the next edition, because he crazy, I mean, seriously crazy. And that’s not before all the madness that Jared and Ivanka got themselves into this week. Yup – Jared is pretty much a goner.

Chief of staff John Kelly is reportedly frustrated with White House advisers Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump and has questioned what the couple does during the day, The Associated Press reported Monday.

Sources told the AP that Kelly is angry with the pair, claiming that they are responsible for President Trump changing his mind on policies at the last minute.

He also questions what the couple does all day and is upset by their “freelancing,” according to the AP.

The report comes after Kelly limited Kushner's access to sensitive information following a review of White House staffers' security clearances.

Kushner and Ivanka Trump reportedly viewed Kelly’s work on the clearances as a direct attack on them, according to the AP.

Well, to be fair, he went to Jared. Thank you! I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress. I mean really, how incompetent can this administration get? Even Ivanka – Trump’s own daughter – yes the girl he would bone if it were socially acceptable – is on thin ice.

WASHINGTON — They spent their first year in Washington as an untouchable White House power couple, commanding expansive portfolios, outlasting rivals and enjoying unmatched access to the president. But Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump have undergone a swift and stunning reckoning of late, their powers restricted, their enemies emboldened and their future in the West Wing uncertain.

Kushner, long the second-most powerful man in the West Wing, is under siege. President Donald Trump's son-in-law has lost influential White House allies. He remains under the shadow of the Russia probe and has seen his business dealings come under renewed scrutiny. He has been stripped of his top security clearance, raising questions how he can successfully advance his ambitious agenda — including achieving Mideast peace, a goal that has eluded presidents for generations.

Kushner's most powerful patron, the president himself, has wavered recently on whether his daughter and son-in-law belong in the White House anymore.

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[font size="8"]Vladimir Putin
[br] [/font]

It’s beginning to feel more and more like we’re in a James Bond movie – and right now we’re at the scene where the evil plot has been unveiled to the world. While rigging elections around the world, stroking the egos and fears of white nationalists through the use of fake news and racist memes, and plotting "accidents" (read: murders) against those who don't follow his dangerous agenda 100%, it turns out that Vladimir Putin has been developing a new kind of nuke we haven't seen before and has it aimed right at us! Vladdy is that James Bond villain and he’s just unveiled his evil plan. While Trump is pointing fingers at his favorite punching bag “Rocket Man”, aka Kim Jong Un, it turns out that Vladimir Putin’s got something much scarier in store for us!

During Vladimir Putin's annual speech on Thursday, the Russian president played videos that unveiled brand-new nuclear weapons with startling capabilities.

Putin announced an "unstoppable" nuclear-powered "global cruise missile" that has "practically unlimited" range, then showed an animation of the device bobbing and weaving around the globe. He also played a computer animation of a high-speed, nuke-armed submarine drone blowing up ships and coastal targets.

"Russia remained and remains the largest nuclear power. Do not forget, no one really wanted to talk to us. Nobody listened to us," Putin told a crowd in Moscow, according to a translation by Sputnik, a Russian-government-controlled news agency. "Listen now."

David Wright, a physicist and missile expert at the Union of Concerned Scientists, told Business Insider that the idea of an "unstoppable" cruise missile going around the world without being detected is "fiction," since it'd heat up to an extreme degree. (CNN also reported that all tests of the cruise missile ended in crashes.)

Yeah we're probably all gonna die. And if that's called "Satan 2" it really makes you wonder what happened to Satan 1 doesn't it? And to use the catchphrase from “Game Of Thrones” – winter is coming! Well, in this case, nuclear winter is coming!

'Putin started his activity as president at the moment when the USA left the ABM Treaty, it's one of the major decisions of Bush's administration. There is a feeling that Putin had been looking for a reply to it from the very beginning, and not just for one-two years, not just for one term. It seems he couldn't give a decent reply for a long time. It's the main goal he set for himself. In general, if Russia's safety isn't provided, they won't need to speak about any sovereignty as well as of the very fact of the existence of Russia. In this respect, it's more than an address. It's a statement of his historical mission,'' the expert is convinced.

Mezhuyev thinks that the address makes a strong impression, in the main. In his opinion, the first part of Putin's speech dedicated to social issues was no less important because military power makes sense in the interests of peaceful existence of Russians.
Source : https://realnoevremya.com/articles/2241-experts-about-vladimir-putins-address-to-federal-assembly

So while Kim Jong Un is the Oddjob to Putin’s Goldfinger, it turns out that Vlad has the power to kill a whole lot of us! That’s not a good thing, sir. So you might be asking why this? Why is Putin touting that he has the power to kill us all? Well there’s a lot of different answers one could get.

Russian president Vladimir Putin’s surprise dissertation on Russia’s new strategic weaponry, attached to Thursday’s state of the nation address, mixed some well-known technological advances with a few genuine revelations. But the technical specifics are perhaps less important than the message Putin sent to the US: The cost of a conventional war remains far too high.

Putin’s big point was that Russian nukes have myriad ways to penetrate US missile shields, and will have many more before too long. The nuclear-capable hardware the Russian leader advertised with computer-generated videos can be ranged from the well-known and combat-ready to the iffy.

The RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile probably has the ability to bypass existing US anti-missile defence systems—if only because they aren’t dense enough. The Avangard hypersonic boost glide vehicle, known to experts as Object 4202, is designed to avoid shields by flying in the upper reaches of earth’s atmosphere at a supersonic speed. It can fly at Mach 20, “moving toward the target like a meteorite, a burning ball, a ball of fire,” Putin marvelled. Both are ready or near ready to deploy.

Yup – welcome to nuclear war 2.0, only this might be for real this time! But don’t go saying goodbye to your loved ones just yet. Before you go, at least you can get your picture taken with a 40 foot Vlad cut out and an AR-15! It’s white nationalist selfie day in Russia!

The upcoming elections in Russia might be as one-sided as an Olympic race between dopers and non-dopers, but that doesn’t mean Russians aren’t still seeing lots of PR for their current (and future) President.

The latest unusual Putin promotion comes in the form of a giant augmented reality hologram, visible in the city of Tyumen to those who download a special app on their smartphone.

This means those visiting the Olympic Training Center in Tyumen are able to catch a quick selfie with the former KGB officer, whose 3D hologram is dressed in judo getup. Putin, of course, takes pride in his physical fitness, and has even published a book on judo called—perhaps surprisingly—Judo with Vladimir Putin.

The hologram, which in some images appears as tall as 40 feet, has caused a buzz on social media, though some have reportedly been less than impressed with the stunt.

Most bookmakers and political commentators think it virtually impossible that Putin could lose the upcoming election, with one betting agency offering odds as short as -50000.00 for a Putin win.

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[font size="8"]United Airlines
[br] [/font]

Another side effect of the Trump tax breaks is that it has given mega corporations free reign to do some of the most evil shit to their employees imaginable. United Airlines is one such evil entity that attempted to do this and well, it was a colossal failure. Look, we get it – we travel. Everyone travels. And for people who work for the airlines, who have to put up with our shit, we salute you. And in this day and age of extreme and increasing income inequality… just… how… who… what… where… I can’t even… WTF!!!

United Airlines President Scott Kirby sent shock waves through the employee ranks at the Chicago-based airline today.

Kirby issued an employee memo in which he announced that the Chicago-based airline is dropping the quarterly performance bonuses the carrier had been giving out to all employees qualified to receive them.

Kirby said in the memo, obtained by the Chicago Business Journal, that the bonus payouts are being replaced with a new program called "core4 Score Rewards," which Kirby said would include quarterly prizes like cash ranging from $2,000 to $40,000, luxury cars, vacation packages, and a grand of prize of $100,000 awarded to one eligible employee per quarter.

Kirby went on to say that each quarter that United reaches at least one of the performance goals outlined in the memo, there will be a drawing for the prizes listed in the memo.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of Christmas Vacation where Clark goes apeshit after his boss replaces his bonus check with a subscription to the Jelly Of The Month club. Only this is much worse. Can you imagine being the person who wins that $100,000 and everyone else hates you for it? Yeah I wouldn’t want to be that person either! But wait there’s more! Apparently they got enrolled in a “rewards program”.

United Airlines (UAL) on Monday said it was "pressing the pause button" on a lottery-like program that was set to replace its quarterly bonus program, a move that angered many employees.

"Our intention was to introduce a better, more exciting program, but we misjudged how these changes would be received by many of you," President Scott Kirby said in a message to employees.

"So, we are pressing the pause button on these changes to review your feedback and consider the right way to move ahead," the message continued. "We will be reaching out to work groups across the company, and the changes we make will better reflect your feedback."

The conflict began out in the open last week, after the Chicago Business Journal reported that United was eliminating the performance bonuses eligible employees had been receiving each quarter and replacing them with a program called core4 Score Rewards.

And that is your friendly, relatable corporate asshole! Yeah we make jokes about marketing all the time on this program but replacing bonuses with a reward program for free gift cards that nobody wants is a stunning level of evil. At least they’ve heard your complaints. In fact the idea was so unpopular that navel lint has a higher approval rating!

The system would have replaced quarterly, performance-based bonuses and rewards for perfect attendance with a lottery-based system, where eligible employees would be entered into a drawing for a variety of prizes if the company hit one of its performance goals during a calendar quarter. It was unpopular among employees, who thought it had the potential to divide them instead of encouraging them to work toward a common goal.

"This is insulting and a poor idea, to put it mildly," one United pilot reportedly wrote on an internal employee website reviewed by Inc.

United introduced the new system on Friday in an email from president Scott Kirby to company employees. On Monday, Kirby said the company is "pressing the pause button" on the new bonus system in response to employee "feedback and concerns" in a follow-up email to employees the company provided to Business Insider.

Yes it’s the gift that keeps on giving all year around! If there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that there’s no low corporations when it comes to how they treat their employees, and this could be one of the absolute lowest. But some good news though is at least they’re reconsidering the whole ordeal.

United Continental Holdings Inc. retreated from a plan to replace modest employee bonus payments with a chance for a lucky few to win luxury cars and six-figure cash prizes, following a backlash from the airline’s unions.

The company is “pressing the pause button” on any changes to the bonuses, President Scott Kirby said Monday in a message to employees, just three days after announcing the new approach. He pledged to solicit feedback from employee groups after staunch opposition to his plan to replace steady payouts with high-stakes drawings for prizes including $100,000 and Mercedes-Benz C-Class sedans.

“Our intention was to introduce a better, more exciting program, but we misjudged how these changes would be received by many of you,” Kirby wrote.

The dust-up over the bonus lottery showed that United is struggling to overcome a legacy of poor labor relations since its 2010 merger with Continental Airlines. Employees began expressing outrage on worker forums and complaining to union representatives shortly after the changes were announced March 2.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Unhappiest Place On Earth
[br] [/font]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is: Top 10 Investigates.

Orange County, California is facing an unparalleled crisis not seen in its’ history before. You can see it when you get off Highway 55 or Highway 57 going toward Angels Stadium. Orange County is home to one of the world’s highest concentrations of homeless people. You might know these clusters as “tent cities”. While the mayor of Anaheim is figuring out what to do, we are going to take a look at one of the underlying root causes of the problem. The so-called “happiest place on earth”. Disneyland. Disneyland sees some 20 million+ visitors per year. But how happy are the people who are working for them?

Disneyland is famously promoted as the "happiest place on earth." But for many of the theme park's 30,000 employees, it isn't the happiest place to work. That's what we discovered after spending a year talking with Disneyland workers and conducting a survey of about 5,000 "cast members," as the company refers to its employees.

Since 2000, Disneyland's attendance (more than 27 million in 2016), daily ticket prices ($117 most days of the year for anyone over the age of 10) and revenues (more than $3 billion) have increased, but during that period, its employees' pay has dropped 15% in real dollars.

Our survey of food service workers, hair stylists, costumers, candy makers, security guards, custodians, hotel workers, retail workers, ticket takers, musicians, puppeteers, singers and dancers affiliated with 10 different unions revealed that 85% of Disneyland employees are paid less than $15 an hour. Even among full-time employees who have worked at Disneyland for more than 15 years, 54% are paid less than $15 an hour and 13% are paid less than $11 an hour.

Workers at the Anaheim resort are paid so little that more than 1 in 10 report being homeless at some point in the last two years, two-thirds say they don't have enough food to eat three meals a day and three-quarters say they can't afford basic expenses every month.

Yes, holy shit indeed. And how alarming is this news coming out of the so-called happiest place on earth? Well, it’s reaching new levels of insanity.

Only weeks after Walt Disney Co. reported better-than-expected profit, a survey at the company’s Anaheim theme parks found that 73 percent of employees questioned don’t earn enough to pay for such expenses as rent, food and gas.

The online survey, funded by labor groups pushing for higher wages for workers at Disneyland and California Adventure Park, also said that 11 percent of resort employees have been homeless or have not had a place of their own in the last two years.

“Disneyland employees report high instances of homelessness, food insecurity, ever-shifting work schedules, extra-long commutes, and low wages,” the study said.

Disney called the survey inaccurate, noting that it was only offered to union workers at the resort and claiming there were no controls preventing disgruntled employees from answering multiple times.

Of course Disney would call the survey “inaccurate”. It’s inaccurate. Or as our current president would call it simply “fake news”. After all, there’s precious corporate profits to be had! In fact Disney employees are paid so little that these are the kind of drastic measures they have to undertake.

“The Walt Disney Company promotes Disneyland Resort as the ‘happiest place on earth,’” the report asserts. “But for many of the approximately 30,000 people who work there, it is not the happiest place to work. Despite steep increases in the cost of housing and other necessities, Disneyland workers have suffered steady pay cuts and are struggling to make ends meet.”

Disney spokeswoman Suzi Brown declined to respond to the allegations of particular hardships detailed by the union members or to the report’s data on falling wages for both full-time and part-time employees.

She said, however, the average annual wage paid to full-time, hourly employees in 2017 was approximately $37,000. This includes union and non-union employees and the tips that some workers earn.

At the same time, she charged, “This inaccurate and unscientific survey was paid for by politically motivated labor unions and its results are deliberately distorted and do not reflect how the overwhelming majority of our 30,000 cast members feel about the company.

Yes, the CEOs get the trident, we get the fork. Makes a whole lot of sense. But in fact Disney employees are so worried about facing the growing threat of homelessness that these are the kinds of things that they must resort to.

Billie Taylor is in her fifth year working at Disneyland in California as a front-of-house employee at a restaurant called the Smokejumpers Grill. Warm and vivacious, she says she loves interacting with guests from around the world. “This is one of the best things that happened to me,” she said. “I was born to do this.”

She’s not as sunny when she talks about her life outside of work.

Earning $11.50 an hour, Taylor cannot afford anywhere to live in Orange County, where Disneyland is located, and is sleeping on friends’ couches. For a long time, Taylor thought she was the only person who struggled with homelessness and poverty on Disney wages, but a new study indicates otherwise.

Almost three-quarters of the 5,000 respondents to the survey, which was commissioned by 11 union organizations, said they do not earn enough money to cover basic expenses every month. And more than one in 10 reported having experienced homelessness in the past two years.

Yes, GTFO. GTFO indeed. This is absolute insanity. But we haven’t even got to the real shocker of this whole piece yet. Remember Trump’s plan to give out $1,000 bonuses to employees? Well this might shock you that they’re not paying. Well, we’re not shocked here anyway.

Unions representing about 35,000 Disney World workers say Disney is refusing to pay their members $1,000 tax cut bonuses.

Disney announced the $1,000 bonuses last month for 125,000 U.S. employees. The company said at that time that the bonuses would go to full and part-time employees, including those represented by unions “currently working under existing union contracts.”

But the union members at Disney World are in the midst of contract negotiations. They say rank-and-file workers in December voted 93% against Disney’s most recent offer of a 50-cent-an-hour raise over the next two years, coupled with a $200 signing bonus. Most unionized Disney World employees make less than $11 an hour, according to the union.

But that’s not the only thing hindering Disneyland employees. This might be one of the most egregious displays of corporate greed yet. But when you think of corporate greed, you think of extreme CEO salaries, and Disney’s boss might be one of the worst yet.

Robert Iger, the chief executive of Walt Disney Co., saw his total compensation decline 17% in the recently concluded fiscal year to $36.3 million, according to the company's latest proxy statement filed Friday to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

The drop from last year's $43.9 million was due in part to a smaller cash bonus to Iger that Disney said was the result of an "absence of growth" in the fiscal year.

Yes, more money more money more money. But only a paltry $36 million might be too little for a CEO when you consider this. In fact the ceremony was so controversial that students at a nearby school decided to get the fuck out as fast as possible – and that is saying something!

School officials in a rural area in the Pocono Mountains, in northeastern Pennsylvania, reportedly told elementary school parents that their children will be relocated for the day Wednesday to accommodate a nearby church planning a special wedding-like ceremony involving AR-15 semiautomatic rifles - similar to the weapons used in a Florida high school massacre exactly two weeks earlier.

The Wallenpaupack Area School District sent a letter to parents whose children attend the Wallenpaupack South Elementary School informing them that students will spend the day on a different school campus, reported WFMZ-TV news, which serves eastern Pennsylvania. The move was a safety precaution, WFMZ reported, although the church has told attendees - who church officials say are coming from around the world for the service - not to load the weapons.

The World Peace and Unification Sanctuary, also known as the Sanctuary Church, is led by the son of the late Rev. Sun Myung Moon, a self-professed messiah from Korea who became a symbol of the 1970s cult wars by holding mass weddings for couples who often were strangers. Moon, who founded the Unification Church, became a player in a segment of the American conservative world through business interests including the Washington Times, and his son Hyung Jin Moon has woven gun rights into the religious community he leads in Pennsylvania, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups and calls Hyung Jin Moon an "anti-LGBT cult leader."

But then you have this – and this might be one of the scariest facts about income inequality that you would ever want to know.

If that plan goes through and the company reaches its other major goals, Chief Executive Robert Iger will see his pay quadruple to $162.5 million a year. That would make his annual compensation equal to the total pay of 9,284 Disneyland workers.

There you have it – the CEO of Disney could be making as much as 10,000 Disney workers. There’s one root cause of the pay gap. That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! Time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

Now in a time of tragedy and national crisis, I ask you, my fair congregation, what can one do to turn to their loved ones for comfort? Some turn to thine food, others turn to their own vices, none of which the lord JAYSUS would approve of! But would one turn to thy vice for… something other than comfort? Thank you sir!

NEWFOUNDLAND, Pa. — Crown-wearing worshippers clutching AR-15 rifles drank holy wine and exchanged or renewed wedding vows in a commitment ceremony at a Pennsylvania church on Wednesday, prompting a nearby school to cancel classes.

With state police and a smattering of protesters standing watch outside the church, brides clad in white and grooms in dark suits brought dozens of unloaded AR-15s into World Peace and Unification Sanctuary for a religious event that doubled as an advertisement for the Second Amendment.

The church, which has a worldwide following, believes the AR-15 symbolizes the “rod of iron” in the book of Revelation, and encouraged couples to bring the weapons. An AR-15 was used in the Florida high school massacre on Feb. 14.

The Rev. Sean Moon, who leads the church, prayed for “a kingdom of peace police and peace militia where the citizens, through the right given to them by almighty God to keep and bear arms, will be able to protect one another and protect human flourishing.”

And I thought they were against marrying inanimate objects! But there is more method to the gun nutter’s madness. This ceremony was so scary that it was frightening nearby school children. You know – kind of like a moment in a comedy movie.

NEWFOUNDLAND, Pa. — An Eastern Pennsylvania school district says it’s canceling classes at an elementary school because a church down the street is hosting a ceremony featuring AR-15 rifles.

World Peace and Unification Sanctuary in Newfoundland, a suburb of Scranton, is encouraging couples to bring their AR-15 rifles to a “commitment ceremony” on Wednesday. The church believes the AR-15 symbolizes the “rod of iron” in the biblical book of Revelation.

The superintendent of the Wallenpaupack Area School District says “there is no direct threat.” But he wrote in a letter to parents that given concerns about parking, traffic and the “nature of the event,” students will be bused to schools about 15 miles away.

The church is a breakaway faction of the Unification Church, which has distanced itself from the event and says its ceremonies and theology do not involve weapons.

Yes – holy shit indeed good sir! For marrying inanimate objects is a SIN!!!! It is one of the most egregious of sins and it says so in the Good Book for I have read it cover to cover! Getting back to other religious wackiness, apparently those who support Trump “taketh thy Bible seriously”! Really?

Conservative radio host Dennis Prager told the National Religious Broadcasters Convention yesterday that President Trump has the support of “religious Jews” and “orthodox” Christians because those people “take the Bible seriously” and know that the important question to ask about a politician is not whether he is a “good” person but whether he is “good for America.”

Prager, who during the 2016 campaign compared the choice of Trump over Hillary Clinton to choosing to ally with Stalin rather than Hitler, told the audience about a recent column in which he had written that criticisms from evangelicals about evangelical support for Trump “are not biblical, moral or wise.”

“There is a reason that most religious Jews, that is, Orthodox Jews, and most orthodox–small-o–Christians support the president,” Prager told the convention. “It is not because they are fans of his tweets or his past behavior or the sexual conduct that he is charged with. It is because they take the Bible seriously. That’s the irony. The more religious the Christian, the more wisdom he gets and the more orthodox the Jew, the more wisdom he gets from the Bible.”

Prager told the story of how God raised up King David, who “makes Donald Trump look like Mother Teresa.”

No you don’t. I know this, Brother Denis, because LYING IS A SIN!!!! AND ONE OF THE MOST EGREGIOUS OF SINS!!! And only your repentance can be saved by the LAWRD and reading the Good Book, it even says so. Unlike many of you hypocrites, I can name the passage where it even says so that lying is a sin, and I suggest you read it too! But woe beith the most persecuted of Christians for they believe some crazy shit!

Mike Cernovich, a self-described “New Right” pundit who gained notoriety for peddling a variety of conspiracy theories such as “Pizzagate,” warned Christians that the effort by social media websites to crack down on conspiracy theories and extremist rhetoric was not actually aimed at people like himself, but rather at people who declare their Christian faith.

In a live stream video aired this afternoon, Cernovich brought up reports that Facebook had threatened to suspend a Christian satire site after fact-checking nonprofit Snopes flagged its article claiming that CNN purchased an industrial washing machine to “spin” the news. Facebook apologized for the error, but Cernovich used the event to tell listeners that social media companies want to “destroy” Christian ways of life.

“Don’t defend me. I don’t need you to defend me. Here’s what I need you to say: ‘Facebook and Snopes, they hate Christians. If you let them get rid of Cernovich, we are next.’ And that’s the truth. It’s proven now,” Cernovich said. “So rather than let people drag you into the weeds about Cernovich and this and that, just say, ‘They are only going after Cernovich because the real target is Christians like us.’”

Yes, I can’t believe someone could be that stupid! Oh wait, yes I can. These are the same people who gave us Pizzagate and Seth Rich – both inherent LIES!!!! And we all know what the Good Book sayeth about lying! But apparently those who opposeth Trump will not see the light of Heaven, and we all know that is a flat out lie!!

Paul McGuire and Troy Anderson, authors of the book, “Trumpocalypse: The End-Times President, a Battle Against the Globalist Elite, and the Countdown to Armageddon,” appeared on the podcast hosted by radical right-wing commentator and crackpot conspiracy theorist Sheila Zilinsky yesterday, where McGuire warned that Christians who don’t support President Trump will not get into heaven due to their cowardice.

“We strongly believe that God has a plan for America in the Last Days,” McGuire said. “We believe that Trump won miraculously. He took on the invisible government that controls America and they didn’t expect it and he won. And ever since he won, and even before he won, he has been attacked 24/7 like no other president in American history, basically he has been attacked like no other world leader in human history.”

McGuire said that it is “obvious to people that are in the highest levels of witchcraft or Luciferianism and the deep state [and] it’s obvious to the occult globalist elite” that Trump represents a dire “threat to their plan for a global government and a global economy and a new world order,” which is why “all hell is targeted against him.”

“I’m kind of perplexed how Christians can’t get it,” he added. “If everyone who, in many cases, openly hate the Gospel, openly hate Christ, if they’re all in alliance to tear down a man … [who is] a spiritual threat to the Kingdom of Darkness, what’s the problem with God’s people in not recognizing that God is using Donald Trump?”

If your GAWD is using Trump now to do “his work”, I would certainly hate to see what the devil’s work would look like! Thank you! That is it for this week, I hope this sermon has been enlightening for you, this has been:

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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So this has been a rough week for the GOP. The NRA had its’ worst week ever. Trump had his worst week ever. And now Alex Jones might be having his worst week ever. Alex and his cronies Cernovich and Posobiec might be getting nuttier and nuttier. Of course they project their nuttiness on us because that’s what good conspiracy theorists do! So Alex made some insane claims that Infowars has caught “over 30 pedophiles”. Here we go again with their pedophilia obsession!

In a desperate fundraising pitch, Infowars host Alex Jones claimed that the forces behind YouTube’s recent efforts to remove conspiracy theories and extremist content from its website had targeted Infowars because Jones had taken down “over 30” pedophiles.

Today, the Infowars staff launched a 34-hour special edition fundraising broadcast in reaction to the fact that their daily broadcast is one community guideline strike away from being banned from YouTube. Infowars Washington bureau chief Jerome Corsi, who has spent the last couple of months of his life trying to decode cryptic messages he believes a Trump administration official is posting to an 8Chan forum board and accusing people of being pedophiles, just had his account terminated this afternoon.

Jones said that he has never borrowed money to spend on Infowars, but that today he would “call some of the folks that have offered a lot of money” and tell them that “this is about all of us” and that he needed “a lot of money.”

He said he would tell those donors, “I need you to understand. Unless you want to evacuate the U.S., I need everything you can give us. You can come and see what we’re doing with the money. I want to get aggressive.”

Quick! To the pedo mobile!

I can’t make that joke enough! Because it’s really getting harder and harder to take these clowns seriously with their pedophilia obsession. As I’ve said it’s like playing a really fucked up game of Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon. Except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is a satanic pedophile. So Alex now is taking things grassroots! Because if there’s one thing the “globalist elite” are afraid of, it’s a little grassroots action!

Alex Jones, the lead host of the conspiracy theory outlet Infowars, announced Friday that he had tapped self-declared “New Right” leader Mike Cernovich to organize a grassroots protest against Google and other social media companies at this year’s South by Southwest conference in Jones’ home city of Austin.

Infowars and Google have continued to publicly duel over YouTube’s community guidelines and what right-wing media personalities claim is inconsistent enforcement of those guidelines by site moderators. Jones spent nearly all of last week criticizing YouTube for placing community guideline strikes on his videos accusing the Parkland high school shooting survivors calling for tougher gun laws of being “crisis actors,” which placed his channel one strike away from a permanent suspension. Jones argued that Infowars should get to keep its access to the millions of viewers it has gathered on YouTube. At one point while defending his account, Jones made the bizarre claim that he has successfully taken out “over 30” pedophiles.


This time around, Jones and Cernovich say they’re keeping plans for a protest against Google at South by Southwest under wraps. Jones said Cernovich “wants to coordinate this behind the scenes so that they don’t know when we’re coming, when you’re coming.”

“Watch this channel when the South by Southwest is going on for what we are going to do. It’s going to be legal and lawful, but they are so scared of us physically showing up because they only want cyber control,” Jones said. “They’re totally afraid of grassroots.”

Damn straight! And this isn’t the nuttiest thing that the Infowars cabal has done this week. So Alex Jones is desperate and he’s hanging onto that desperation especially after the advertisers decided to jump ship.

A new group of companies suspended some of their YouTube advertising after finding out that ads were appearing over conspiracy theory videos peddled by radio show host Alex Jones on various InfoWars-related YouTube channels. According to a CNN report, companies including Nike, Expedia, Paramount Network, Wix, ClassPass, the Mormon Church, and the NRA have suspended ads on InfoWars channels after being made aware by CNN that their ads were running over conspiracy theory videos. Many of the companies involved claim that they had no idea their ads were running over InfoWars content, and many say they used YouTube's advertiser tools in the hope of keeping their ads off such content.

YouTube launched its relatively new advertiser tools nearly a year ago after the first big ad-pocalypse took the online video website by storm. In a situation much like this, companies began pulling advertisements from YouTube after finding out they were appearing over extremist videos. YouTube's tools are designed to give advertisers more control over the types of content over which they want their ads to run, filtering out potentially inappropriate content and content that doesn't align with a company's values.

CNN's report claims that Nike and other companies opted in to a "sensitive subject exclusion" filter, which presumably disallows ads over content that falls into these categories: "Tragedy and Conflict;" "Sensitive Social Issues;" "Sexually Suggestive Content;" "Sensational & Shocking;" and "Profanity & Rough Language."

Yeah probably. So Infowars is on thin ice and it might fall through if Alex, Mike, and Jack, AKA the Douchebag Pep Boys, cause one more slip up. And given their craziness, they just might! Even the people who Alex has fired are starting to fight back! We all know Alex is a dick, but I didn’t imagine this!

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has discriminated against his staff, laughed along with racist and anti-Semitic slurs against former employees and even groped one female worker, bombshell documents allege.

The controversial Infowars owner joked with staff who called Rob Jacobson 'The Jewish Individual', 'The Resident Jew' and shouted 'Yacobson' across the office, it's claimed.

Jones allegedly continually bullied, ridiculed and humiliated Jacobson - who worked for Jones' company Infowars for 13 years - before firing him last May.

Jacobson is in the process of suing Jones for discrimination, harassment and unfair dismissal and his lawyers have submitted a complaint to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

A second former employee has claimed she suffered 'harassment and discrimination' at the hands of Jones and other senior managers at Infowars based on her race.

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[font size="8"]Ben Carson
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So just as we are about to get into our Stupidest State contest, a little reminder that one of the conferences in the NFFSA is the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference – and there is some extreme government misspending and most of it is coming from the Trump administration. I mean what happens when you need some furniture and you need to go shopping at Government Ikea?

Let's say you're a Trump administration official with old dining room furniture in your Washington, D.C. executive suite. What do you do?

In the case of Ben Carson, the presidential cabinet secretary who heads the Department of Housing and Urban Development, his staff declared the circa 1967 dining set was beyond repair and spent $31,561 on a custom hardwood table, chairs, and a hutch to replace it.

A federal law limits spending for redecorating or refurbishing to $5,000 unless Congress approves more. However, whistleblower complaints filed by Helen Foster, a high-ranking HUD civil servant, allege that a top official repeatedly told Foster to "find money," for the purchase.”

Foster's complaints charge that Carson's wife, Candy, wanted to help redecorate the office suite. Foster was demoted in reprisal after she raised questions about the work and other HUD spending, the complaints allege.

Dude, he could seriously purchase that same set of furniture from Ikea for $500. Of course shopping at Ikea you’ll most likely wind up fighting with the person you came with, eat Swedish meatballs, and then leave in a much angrier mood than when you came in. I just wanted an upright trophy cabinet!!! Why do you have to go there!!! But really? Furniture prices is what we’re dealing with here?

Washington (CNN)Senior White House aides are furious about a series of negative stories about frivolous spending at the Department of Housing and Urban Development and have taken a more hands-on role in trying to stem the tide of negative news, sources with knowledge of the situation tell CNN.

The decision to assert more control comes a day after reports that the former chief administrative officer at HUD filed a complaint saying she demoted after refusing to spend more than was legally allowed to redecorate Secretary Ben Carson's new office.
The former staffer, Helen Foster, said she was told to "find money" beyond the legal $5,000 limit for redecorating. In one instance, she says a supervisor said that "$5,000 will not even buy a decent chair."

HUD also spent $31,000 last year to replace a dining room set in Carson's office, according to federal records and a whistleblower. A department official said that the dining set in the secretary's dining room at HUD headquarters was replaced because it was in a state of disrepair.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Well it could be worse – we could have an inexperienced dolt as the head of a government agency he is grossly unqualified for!

WASHINGTON — Before Ben Carson accepted President Trump’s offer to become secretary of housing and urban development, a friend implored him to turn down the job to preserve the reputation he had earned as a brilliant neurosurgeon and lost, in part, as a politician.

The confidant, Logan Delany Jr., who was the treasurer of Mr. Carson’s 2016 presidential campaign, described HUD as a “swamp” of “corruption.” He predicted in an email that Mr. Carson’s “lack of a background in housing” would make him prey to the department’s career staff and political appointees, as well as predatory lobbyists.

To drive home the point, Mr. Delany appended a link to an obituary of Samuel R. Pierce Jr., the Reagan-era HUD secretary whose reputation as a trailblazing black corporate lawyer was tarnished by accusations that he steered contracts to Republican cronies.

Mr. Delany’s most dire prediction has not materialized. But many of the other problems outlined in the memo have come to pass during Mr. Carson’s first year running a sprawling $47 billion-a-year community development bureaucracy that provides rental subsidies for about five million families and oversees people living in 1.2 million units of public housing. And Mr. Carson’s own lapses in judgment — combined with the questionable behavior of his family and his reluctance to aggressively engage Mr. Trump — have left him at the margins of the cabinet.

Uh……….. governmenting is hard people!!! At least that’s the take away we’re getting from the Trump administration! I mean they can’t even go to Ikea and buy a chair for $200? Don’t get me started there, I know!!!! Argh, fuck Ikea!!!! Why must you drag me into fights with my lady??? But in case you’re wondering the kind of swag $31,000 can buy, check this shit out!

Pictures of the insanely expensive, mahogany furniture that has Department of Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson in hot water have emerged online, as CNN gave taxpayers the chance to see how well their $31,000 furnishes an office.

The custom table and pedestals racked up $4,000, the sideboard cost $13,579, the breakfront was priced at roughly $7,000, and the 10 chairs put an over $10,000 dent in the department’s wallet. All of the furniture, which can be seen below, was purchased for use in Carson’s office space and will arrive in May 2018:

When speaking to CNN, Evelyn Sebree — the owner of HUD’s Maryland furniture store of choice, Sebree and Associates — described the buyers by saying they wanted a “really large table.”

“They said they were looking for dining furniture for the secretary’s office because a new secretary was coming in and the current furniture was old and it was raggedy,” said Sebree — who continued by denying any personal connection to Carson. “I have never met them. Never ever ever.”


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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s time for:


And man I need a drink this week – there’s been lots and lots of insanity. So tell me bartender, what’s a drink that goes well with a women-oriented booze marketing campaign? Jane Walker? Sure, I’ll try some, and give me one of those giant ice cubes in the center. Hmm… that’s good shit. So Johnny Walker is trying some new tactics and going after a new demographic.

Johnnie Walker Black Label just got a little bit more feminine.

The whisky maker is putting a woman in its logo for the first time ever — a new Jane Walker edition that will be on sale for a limited time. The image of a top-hatted and tuxedo man is transformed into a shapely, long-haired woman in the same dashing outfit.

The special-edition whisky will be sold starting in March to coincide with Women's History Month and International Women's Day celebrations, according to the company. The suggested retail price is $34 for a 750-milliliter bottle.

The temporary change to the "striding man" logo is an attempt to market the drink to women.

Well, I will have to admit that Jane Walker is pretty hot! But there’s other great news in the world of alcohol, especially if you live in Indiana! You will be able to drink booze for the first time on Sunday – as it was originally intended!

John Trelo remembers how big a drag buying booze in Indiana was on a Sunday before he moved to Florida 30 years ago.

It was the same deal each time: You'd have to get up and be out the door well before noon to make the haul down Ridge Road just over the border to Santori's in Lansing, Ill. There, three or four cashiers would be ready to take the money of resigned Indiana people who just wanted a beer with their potato chips during the game.

Sunday at noon, that dark era ended for Hoosiers. After decades of back-and-forth among legislators and lobbyists, Senate Bill 1 and House Bill 1051 repealed on Wednesday the state's Prohibition-era ban on Sunday alcohol sales — save for cold beer — at liquor, grocery, drug and convenience stores.

Many liquor stores threw open their doors to customers for the first time since the 1920s, and customers like Trelo, in town to visit his parents in Highland, rejoiced. He carried his six-pack of Estrela Jalisco beer to the counter of Premier Liqours II in Highland with a sense of bemusement.

"Thirty years ago, it was the same," Trelo, of Ft. Lauderdale, said. "Sunday sales) are good for the state. It'll keep the money here."

Amen to that sir! Have a beer on a Sunday now just like the good lord intended. I mean how else are you supposed to enjoy Colts games? Hey o! And come on, what isn’t a good time for a drink? We do encourage that sort of thing here! And sir, do you think you could invest in our show?

Good week? Have a drink. Bad week? Have a drink.

That’s a rough summation of the thinking of Dan Ahrens, manager of AdvisorShares’ Vice ETF (ACT), which launched in December and focuses on alcohol, tobacco and cannabis-related companies.

“People are going to drink no matter what’s going on in the economy,” Ahrens said in a recent interview with Barron’s Next, and “no matter what’s going on in the market.”

The fund holds a range of alcohol stocks, including Constellation Brands (STZ), its second-biggest holding at about 6.1% as of Feb. 23, and Barron’s Next 50 stock Boston Beer (SAM), which made up roughly 4.4%. (More on the latter company below.)

• Right now, he believes the best opportunities are in smaller companies such as MGP Ingredients (MGPI), a distiller whose products are branded by other companies and that recently made up 5.5% of the fund’s holdings, and Craft Brew Alliance (BREW), a beer and cider company that was at 2.8%.

Yes, doing a lot of that definitely helps this guy! Now changing subjects again… man I’m getting drunk up in this piece! Whew! But there is some good news – tequila has some health benefits. So go ahead, have a shot of your favorite! Going back to Johnny Walker for a minute, I would prefer some from Jose Cuervo’s aunt Rosa Cuervo!

Tequila has received a bad reputation as a liquid hangover because regulations allow liquors made with only 51 percent agave to be called tequila.

Let’s first address the obvious: Tequila is not a “health” food. Drinking a frozen margarita is far from the nutritional equivalent of a banana-turmeric chai smoothie, but in relation to other liquors, tequila has some unique, beneficial attributes. To capture these benefits, only purchase tequila that is made from 100 percent agave. Under Mexican law, tequila may only be made from the blue Weber agave plant from the Tequila region of Jalisco. In the U.S., however, tequila has received a bad reputation as a liquid hangover because regulations allow liquors made with only 51 percent agave to be called tequila.

It’s a Low-Calorie Alcohol

Though the liquid calories in many types of liquor are detrimental to weight-loss diets, tequila is different. Tequila is made up of agavins, a certain type of indigestible sugars that move through the body unused. The more complex molecular structure of agavins prevents them from spiking blood sugar. These molecules have also been found to simulate metabolism and to help burn fat.

Click here to see how tequila can help you lose weight.

It's a Probiotic

Put down that bottle of kombucha and break out the shot glasses. The agave that tequila is derived from contains fructans, a short-chain polymer that supplies probiotics — beneficial bacteria found in the intestines. Thus, drinking a small amount of tequila may benefit digestive health, but be careful not to overdo it; too much tequila has the opposite effect on the body.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen it’s time to commence the 2nd annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State Contest! And we have a lot of newcomers and old favorites this time around. And we’re going to change up the format a bit to please our overlords in the National For Fuck’s Sake Association. As you all know the winner will get the coveted DeLay trophy – named after former Texas coach Tom DeLay who took the team to an unprecedented 6 titles during the George Bush years:

[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! As the commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor and privilege to be the host of this year’s Stupidest State tournament! Let the games commence! All four conferences are here and ready to tangle. We have all four corners of conservatism represented – god, guns, greed, and overall batshit insanity! So this time around we’re going to do things a bit differently. Since our season ends on May 23rd, we need to speed things up a bit from last time. The league, as usual is split into two factions – the Layover League and the Flyover League. And each league will crown its’ champion before they face off in the final round. The rules before state that each conference will get four teams, which will be ranked #1 - #4. And just like how March Madness kicks off every year with a “Selection Sunday”, this year we shall kick things off with the same! The tournament will start on Wednesday, March 21st – which is around the same time March Madness starts. The rules this time around – the first round will feature two matches, while the second round will consist of one match each. Both rounds of the Final Four will take place in the same week, and then the championship. Since we do encourage gambling here, we will be providing you with betting odds this time around! And here we go!

[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]

Since 1890, the Batshit Conference is the largest conference in the NFFSA and it consists of 16 teams producing the finest guano that the country has to offer. They are the craziest of the crazy. The cream of the crop. The states that elect the worst politicians imaginable, who cook up the craziest laws known to man. The Batshit Conference caters to excellence in crazy lawmaking, and residents as equally crazy as the people who they elect. Places ruled by rural communities where there’s nothing to do but hardcore drugs, and with hardcore drugs comes hardcore craziness!

1. Iowa – the state that defined “Flyover country”. Iowa just barely missed the tournament last year due to some injuries. But this year they recruited lots of hot young talent and they are poised to go very far. Some say they could win the whole thing. Their policies have been called some of the country’s worst. The elected an actual racist and America’s worst Congressman – Steve King. They are also the home of Charles Grassley. They continually favor big business over the worker. They continue to fight for big farms over the smaller ones. They continually suppress education. Will they win? We shall see!
Smoking Gun: Iowa has Steve King and Charles Grassley. and a state rep who wanted to dismantle colleges for being too liberal.
Betting Prediction: Iowa didn’t win that number one seed for nothing – they had the best record in the whole league during the regular season - they will be shocking and surprising you with how good their team is! 2:1.

2. Kentucky – The Bluegrass State is one of the hottest teams in the league. The state that was the first that voted for @realDonladTrump, also gave us Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Matt Bevin, and NFFSA Rookie Of The Year Kim Davis has shown absolutely no signs of slowing down when it comes to flinging some fresh batshit. They got a massive upgrade this year and they take the number 2 seed in the Batshit Conference. When you combine out of control college freshmen, some of the most insane politicians, and hardcore religious insanity, you get one of the best programs in the Batshit tournament, and they had the second best record during the regular season.
Smoking Gun: Kim Davis is about to lose her job to a guy she once denied a marriage license to.
Betting Prediction: Kentucky can go head to head against any team they face, and they were ridiculously strong last year. They handily beat Pennsylvania for a seat in the tournament. They are looking to go far. 5:1.

3. Virginia – Another newcomer to the tournament. The Commonwealth State - adjacent to our nation’s capital has been a hot bed of white supremacy, redneck policies, and gun nut culture – creating a toxic mix that is sure to please longtime fans and newcomers to the Batshit Conference. Another first timer who if they can keep healthy, will promise to go very far in this tournament.
Smoking Gun: Racists and white supremacists united in last year's ugly Charlottesville debacle, and they're already planning another one!
Betting Prediction: They have the drive and ambition to go very far but injuries plagued them during the regular season. 20:1.

4. Texas – Last year’s champion promises to repeat this year. They are tanned, rested, ready, and looking to do some damage as they climb their way to the top while producing some fresh guano not seen since the early days of the tournament. While a shell of their former selves as they produced that string of greatness during the Bush years, Texas squeezed out a win last year and they’re looking to repeat. Their coach has stated that they will be healthy, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing.
Smoking Gun: Lt. Governor Dan Patrick has been called one of the craziest politicians in America - and not just by us!
Betting Prediction: Texas isn’t the odds on favorite it was last year. If they do win the conference and advance to the Final Four, it’s going to be a very long uphill battle for them. 10:1.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]

Excessive greed here is the name of the game in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. This is the second largest conference in the NFFSA consisting of 13 states. While the rule of the game here is “never underestimate the other guy’s greed”, these guys are doing just that! Six houses? Why not? The other guy has 8! 40 cars? The other guy has 50! You have a 500 foot yacht? The other guy has a 600 foot yacht! You got Aerosmith to play a private concert for your wife's birthday party? They got Kanye West to play theirs! You have a Rembrandt? The other guy has a Picasso! And you never mix the two, that’s just bad feng shui. Since 1952, nearly all of the teams here are sponsored by Koch Industries. And coincidentally nearly all of them subscribe to Fox Business Channel where they always take the CEO’s side. While you’re watching your bank account grow by peanuts, these guys have taken the whole damn peanut farm! They’re Scrooge McDuck, Ritchie Rich, Carter Pewterschmitt, and Mr. Burns rolled into one.

1. Kansas – The reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference is the home to one of the country’s worst governors – Sam Brownback. It’s also home to some of the country’s worst education policies and the home of the Westboro Baptist Church. It’s also a Flyover League favorite. They’re the home of Koch Industries and the Heritage Foundation – who some might be calling “economic terrorists”. Who needs Al Qaeda when these guys can do more damage?
Smoking Gun: The Heritage Foundation has their own lobby that talks directly to Trump from within the White House.
Betting prediction: Kansas looks poised to repeat as conference champions, but it could actually be a toss up this year since the competition in this league is one of the most competitive. 10:1.

2. West Virginia – Coal mining country is always a hotbed for conservative insanity. Especially in an era where anti-environment coal industry CEOs are touting “clean coal” as if it’s a thing that it exists. It doesn’t. As this has been evidenced by the batshit crazy CEOs who run America’s coal mining operations and their never ending love for anti-worker conservative policies. And this is the first time they have appeared in this tournament – they recruited a lot of hot young talent, and they promise that they will go all the way!
Smoking Gun: Massey Energy CEO Bob Massey attempted to sue John Oliver for defamation and lost! Can't wait to hear Oliver's rebuttal!
Betting Prediction: Strong favorite to finish far, could be a huge upset if they knock off a favorite to win the first round. 5:1.

3. Wisconsin – Wisconsin is getting a huge upgrade this year. Yes, the home of Miller Brewing, the Milwaukee Brewers, the Green Bay Packers, and governor Scott Walker - the state that gave us House Speaker and Bro Magazine’s Bro Of The Year Paul Ryan is poised to have nearly all of its’ seats up for grabs in this year’s tournament which means that it literally could be anyone’s game and we will see the greed and big money fly during this election year of ours. They can go very far in this tournament.
Smoking Gun: Wisconsin is so hurting to rebuild their economy that they're courting Foxconn to build a factory there, and we all know how Foxconn is a snake oil salesman.
Betting Prediction: Wisconsin bowed out in the first round last year and that made them angry to the point where they completely overhauled their team. 2:1.

4. Nevada – Nevada just barely missed the tournament due to injuries last year but this year they are coming back strong. And come on, how can you have a discussion on greed without having a discussion on gambling? Because the two often go hand in hand. And our president is also associated with the gambling industry. Can the gaming industry go far in this tournament? Only time will tell. The odds have them pegged as the biggest underdogs in this tournament, and we all love a good underdog story!
Smoking Gun: Casino owner Steve Wynn, who wants to be Donald Trump's BFF, got busted for a sexual harassment and employee abuse scandal bigger than Harvey Weinstein's.
Betting Prediction: This is a strong conference, and the gambling industry is about as corrupt as you can expect, and they spent like ballers during the off season last year. 10:1.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]

What do you get when you mix toxic religious values with anti-progressive family legislation? You get the Family Values Conference! The Family Values Conference is the smallest conference in the league consisting of 9 (NEIN!!) teams, but they have the richest history. Family values hypocrisy is something that’s as old as the United States itself. While you’re on your 5th divorce and wondering which of your ex wives gets your alimony check this week, that poor gay or lesbian couple who lives next door is only wondering what life would be like when they get married, while transgendered people are denied bathroom privileges. Meanwhile corrupt pastors get away with the kinkiest sex imaginable and soliciting prostitutes.The Family Values Conference: Priding themselves on religious hypocrisy since 1789!

1. Indiana – This is Indiana’s first return to the tournament in many years. Last time they got trounced by Alabama who went on to win their first title. And Indiana is back and they’re looking for revenge. The Hoosier State is responsible for one of the single dumbest controversies in the country – gay wedding cakes, and with that controversy reaching SCOTUS, expect the insanity to fly like a triple double!
Smoking Gun: Mike Pence is from Indiana. 'Nuff said.
Betting Prediction: Indiana is a hot young team and they’ve recruited a lot of young talent, and they have a very talented staff. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

2. Alabama – Last year’s conference champion and the reigning king of the Family Values Conference suffered a bit of a setback and almost didn’t make the tournament this year but they are rested and they are ready. Of course we saw a lot of Alabama last year with the insanity surrounding Roy Moore’s campaign which saw him defeated by Doug Jones. But they also have another evil that they refuse to let go of – gay conversion therapy!
Smoking Gun: Trump called the guy who convicted KKK members "soft on crime". Just to you know, stroke the racists.
Betting prediction: Last year’s insane campaign of Roy Moore left them exhausted and they just barely made the tournament. If they do get out of the first round it will be interesting to watch. 20:1.

3. Utah – The Mormons are making their first ever appearance in our Stupidest State tournament, and they have the guts to go very far. It’s one of the hardest states to get liquor in but is the home of some of the best skiing in the country. Of course it’s outer beauty hides its’ inner ugly – the Mormon church is the dominant religion in the state and has produced some of the country’s most insane family values laws.
Smoking Gun: The Mormon Church says that it's taken "baby steps" to tread the waters toward gender equality.
Betting Prediction: Utah’s first time in the tournament means that they will be fighting for supremacy in this division but if they can make it they will be Final Four contenders! 10:1.

4. Missouri - Another conference change, Missouri used to be the home of the gun nuts with the Furgeson police shooting and the riots that have taken place there. But there's an even darker, seedier underbelly to the Show Me State - they are one of the worst "family values" states in the entire country! Missouri beat Ohio in a one game playoff and just barely made the tournament, but they are looking to do some damage!
Smoking Gun: Missouri's controversial child bride laws have made the state the go-to destination for under 15 weddings!
Betting Prediction: Missouri is a wild card in this horse race but since the conference change, they are looking to do some serious damage here. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]

Shoot first and ask questions later. That’s the name of the game in this conference. It’s also the most effective means of communication in these states.It’s the conference where you too can take your AK-47 out on a dinner date to Chipotle, and nobody will seem to care. In fact they too might have their own AK. It’s the conference where the only thing that matters is your precious firearm. Hardcore racism and extreme gun nuttery usually go hand in hand in this conference. We’re not saying all gun nuts are hardcore racists, but all hardcore racists are gun nuts. It’s the conference where debating between concealed carry and open carry can be considered a contact sport. And you can ask your fellow gun lovers “Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?”. And getting shot means it’s usually God’s will.

1. Florida – Florida earns the number 1 seed in this conference. You might be asking “wait – wasn’t Florida a member of the Batshit Conference?”. Well I answer you – yes – but Florida was tired of losing and it has some of this country’s worst gun laws. It was also home to the Parkland School Shooting, and a legislature that almost literally threw these kids under the bus. They have the potential to make the final four this year.
Smoking Gun: After the Parkland shooting, the Florida House GOP voted to declare porn a health hazard, but did not even consider a ban on assault rifles.
Betting Prediction: After Florida Man’s humiliating stunt cost them the tournament last year, they’re angry and looking for redemption. But a repeat of last year wouldn’t be out of the question. 10:1.

2. Louisiana – The Bayou State is one of the worst states to live in if you don’t want to be associated with gun nuts. It’s the home of New Orleans, and if the creepy mascots of their NBA team the New Orleans Pelicans are any indication of what kind of people they elect, keep in mind that this is the state that gave us Bobby Jindal. They have the wit and gun nut insanity to outlast the tournament.
Smoking Gun: Louisiana has the highest concentration of school related threats in the country - so they have a lot of smoking guns!
Betting Prediction: Another tournament first timer, Loosiana has recruited a lot of hot young talent and their gun laws are often referred to as the country’s worst. Expect them to go far. 5:1

3. Montana – Last year’s #1 seat and Flyover League champion Montana is poised to make a huge splash in this year’s tournament. They went from underdogs to juggernauts in the league with a toxic mix of wannabe cowboys, white supremacist militia hate groups, and doomsday preppers. As we learned last year – Montana has the nation’s highest concentration of racist hate groups (after all, they are the home of Richard Spencer) as well as the highest concentration of gun manufacturers. And yes, Frank Zappa might be moving to Montana to start a dental floss farm, but if you live in fear of getting shot, this state might not be the state for you.
Smoking Gun: Montana's *SOLE* representative is journalist body slamming tough guy wannabe douchebag Greg Gianforte, if that's any indication of how violent they are.
Betting Prediction: Montana’s strong finish as league champions last year left them exhausted, but they could see a return to the top if healthy enough. 5:1.

4. Arizona – Last year’s conference champion got an extra upgrade when they kicked Sheriff Joe to the curb. But now he’s back and running for Senate! Yes, these guys never seem to go away but with the news of one of the worst sheriffs in the country and a guy who will look the other way if you take your AK on a dinner date is running for senate! Expect that the batshit and the bullets will fly as they work their way up to a comeback as conference champions!
Smoking Gun: Arizona has the highest concentration of freeway shootings in the country, and the guy who sold the Vegas shooter ammo bought his weapons in Arizona.
Betting Prediction: Arizona lost in a shoot out to Montana last year, but they went back to the drawing board and got a lot of hot young talent. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

[font size="6"]The Bracket [/font]

Here’s the bracket:

And here’s the schedule.

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

For the first round of the tournament – it’s a battle for the batshit as #1 Iowa takes on #2 Kentucky, while in the Flyover League, it’s a duel to the death as #3 Montana takes on #4 Arizona in a rematch of last year’s conference championship.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Weird Al Yankovic[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, the world’s greatest song parodist and satirist has graced us with his presence! His latest album is called “Mandatory Fun”. You can see him this summer everywhere on the “Ridiculously Self Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour”. Playing his song called “First World Problems”, give it up for Weird Al Yankovic!

We are off next week, we’ll be back on Wednesday, March 21st with a brand new edition and the tip off of Stupidest State 2018!

See you in two weeks!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Flappers Comedy Club, Burbank, CA
Special Thanks To: Flappers Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Research: Top 10 Research Department
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Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Stupidest State Tournament Selection Sunday Hosting: Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, CA
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Weird Al Appears Courtesy Of: Island Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

A Complete Timeline Of Martin Shkreli's Feud With The Wu Tang Clan

A Brooklyn federal judge ordered pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli on Monday (Mar. 5) to give up $7.36 million worth of assets after getting convicted of securities fraud. The sentence comes just a few months after his arrest.

The “Pharma-bro” became famous—or infamous for that matter—when his firm Turing Pharmaceuticals of New York skyrocketed the price of AIDs-fighting Daraprim from $13.50 per pill to $750.

Potentially the most devastating of these assets Shkreli will forfeit is the sole copy of Wu Tang Clan’s Once Upon a Time in Shaolin album he bought for $2 million in 2015. After the purchase, he became hated among Wu Tang fans, teasing the release of the album. Plenty of drama occurred from the purchase to the forfeiture, and reading about it would take ages. Billboard has you covered. Here’s a timeline of Shkreli’s ownership of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin.


November 2016 – Shkreli promises to release the album if Donald Trump becomes President

The day after Trump was elected, the executive released a series of videos, featuring him with parts of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin playing in the background. According to Pitchfork, Shkreli decided to negotiate with Wu Tang Clan on releasing the rest of the album, since he didn’t expect the Republican candidate to actually win.


September 1, 2017 – The pharmaceutical wanted to sell the album

After taunting fans for nearly two years with teases and snippets of the unreleased record, Shkreli listed the project on eBay. In the description for the listing, he mentions Wu Tang member Ghostface Killah, who was seen on TMZ calling Shkreli a “s—thead” for raising the price of Daraprim. "I decided to purchase this album as a gift to the Wu-Tang Clan for their tremendous musical output. Instead I received scorn from at least one of their (least-intelligent) members, and the world at large failed to see my purpose of putting a serious value behind music,” he wrote. He also noted that half the proceeds would go to medical research.


September 15, 2017 – Wu Tang Clan associates reveal Once Upon a Time in Shaolin might not be an actual Clan album

Business publication Bloomberg spoke to several of the group’s affiliates, particularly Killa Sin. According to Sin, the record was originally meant for Moroccan producer Cilvaringz. “The way he presented it was it was going to be basically his album, and he wanted me to do some work for him.” Member U-God’s manager Domingo Neris agreed, saying, “It’s not an authorized Wu-Tang Clan album.


March 5, 2018 – It’s official, Shkreli must forfeit the record

The order by U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto comes just four days before the pharmaceutical will receive his sentence. In a letter he wrote to the judge, Shkreli showed a different, softer side of himself after having an attitude during the trial. “I was wrong. I was a fool. I should have known better.”

What a douche. Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with!

Disneyland's CEO Makes As Much As His Entire Park's Combined Payroll

Disneyland is famously promoted as the "happiest place on earth." But for many of the theme park's 30,000 employees, it isn't the happiest place to work. That's what we discovered after spending a year talking with Disneyland workers and conducting a survey of about 5,000 "cast members," as the company refers to its employees.

Since 2000, Disneyland's attendance (more than 27 million in 2016), daily ticket prices ($117 most days of the year for anyone over the age of 10) and revenues (more than $3 billion) have increased, but during that period, its employees' pay has dropped 15% in real dollars.

Our survey of food service workers, hair stylists, costumers, candy makers, security guards, custodians, hotel workers, retail workers, ticket takers, musicians, puppeteers, singers and dancers affiliated with 10 different unions revealed that 85% of Disneyland employees are paid less than $15 an hour. Even among full-time employees who have worked at Disneyland for more than 15 years, 54% are paid less than $15 an hour and 13% are paid less than $11 an hour.

Workers at the Anaheim resort are paid so little that more than 1 in 10 report being homeless at some point in the last two years, two-thirds say they don't have enough food to eat three meals a day and three-quarters say they can't afford basic expenses every month.


If that plan goes through and the company reaches its other major goals, Chief Executive Robert Iger will see his pay quadruple to $162.5 million a year. That would make his annual compensation equal to the total pay of 9,284 Disneyland workers.

Holy fuck this is insane. This has got to change. One guy isn't worth what 9,000 employees are worth.

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-8: Wheel Of Corruption & The Chamber Of Secrets Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-8: Wheel Of Corruption & The Chamber Of Secrets Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Switch to the Top 10 today and save $620 a year on your car insurance! Man this has been a crazy week. It sucks that Kevin Smith almost died on Sunday but glad to hear he’s making a good recovery. And did anyone see the controversy coming from actor Chris Pratt (Guardians Of The Galaxy) over sending his “thoughts and prayers” to Kevin Smith? Well, people, get a fucking grip, OK? You should read the insanely long rebuttal from GOTG director James Gunn who came to Chris’ defense. But to say thoughts and prayers are meaningless, which we get after a mass shooting, but to say that rule applies in all cases, you’re just being a colossal dick. Now switching subjects, there is one thing I want to talk about. It’s no secret that I love music – as evidenced by the wide variety of musical acts that we’ve had on this program. But there’s one band in particular that I want to talk about for the intro this week, that’s been in the news a lot lately because of a much hyped reunion tour. Yup, I’m talking about the Smashing Pumpkins. And it’s not even really a reunion without their original bass player D’Arcy Wretsky, who has been unavailable for comment lately. And of course you know Billy Corgan has gone off the deep end lately – appearing on lunatic fringe places like Infowars and going full anti-vaccination. But the reunion tour isn’t doing so hot. In fact some places still have an overwhelming amount of tickets left. I mean could it be that this is February and the shows aren’t until August? Or could it be they booked arenas too big for a band who hasn’t toured in 20 years? Or could it be that Pumpkins fans have had enough of this nonsense? Or could it be that Billy Corgan is a hardcore Trump loving conspiracy theorist who wears “CNN Is ISIS” shirts, said fuck you to Anderson Cooper, and had former bandmates compare him to Trump? We don’t know! We’re just guessing! It’s the Justice League of tours – it’s a disaster from the get go, but they’re doing it anyways, because, money, and you know some executive somewhere is getting a nice big fat bonus check! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver explores the upcoming Italian elections and it might be one of his scariest yet:

Hey everybody the Wheel O’ Corruption is back! Yay!!! The kids love the wheel don’t they? And where do we start this week? Well for starters we’re going to dedicate the first slot to recapping the hate on display at the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC (1). Taking the second slot is of course Gun Nut Apologists (2). And for this entry we’re going to do something a bit different and we’re going to explore the 5 stages of Gun Nut Grief – and in case you’re wondering, no they don’t have any. Taking the third slot this week is the NRA. Wayne La Pierre really screwed the pooch this week and because of that the NRA lost sponsors left and right! Well, it’s at least a start! In the fourth slot this week is the guy currently sitting in the Oval Office – Donald J. Trump. Yes, he had what might be his worst week ever, and he was also forced to stay in DC for the weekend. Taking the 5th slot this week – we have an all new installment of our new ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” and we’re going to take Tesla’s controversial auto pilot system out for a spin. And you’ll be surprised at what we find! At number 6 is our weekly sermon on all things holy, Holy Shit (6). And this week, we’re going to show you that the Christian right literally became self aware last week. Taking the 7th slot is our old buddy Alex Jones (7). Yeah he sunk to an unbelievable new level of evil last week trying to disrupt the Florida students’ walk out. We’ll recap all the madness there. In the number 8 slot, I have no entry. There’s no news with this entry. And so instead I’m going to use it to refute a popular NRA talking point by showing you a series of clips and videos dedicated to Idiots With Guns (8). In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got an all new installment of “People Are Dumb” because well, people are dumb! And finally we’re going to end the World Tour once and for all by coming home! Yes, we’re going to end this bit forever by putting our own country through the World Tour filter! And to close out our Black History Month celebration, what better way to end it then by having our good friends George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic stop by? And they’ve got some brand new music for you, and I can’t wait to hear it! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]CPAC Recap
[br] [/font]

Come on everyone say it with me it’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. And it’s a new year and we have some new items on the wheel! So the Pirates theme from last year is done and this year we’re paying tribute to the Harry Potter franchise! Yes there will be plenty of magic and butter beer a flowing at the Top 10 set this year!

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Chance
- 5,000
- Infowars
- Nazis
- Go Directly To Jail
- Buy A Vowel
- North Korea
- Lawsuits
- Whammy
- Donald Trump
- People Are Dumb
- ‘Merica!
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- A Random Tweet
- 10,000
- Community Chest
- Talk Shows
- Clip Without Context
- Something Random In The News
- Fox News
- Top 10 Investigates
- Polls
- Chance
- Nukes
- Protests
- Intermission
- 15,000
- Bankrupt
- Golf
- The GOP
- Butter Beer
- Community Chest
- Florida (Obviously)
- This Fucking Guy
- Beating A Dead Horse
- Holy Shit
- Guacamole ($1.50 Extra)
- Harry Potter
- T-Shirt Cannon
- ? (Mystery Item)
- I Need A Drink
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin it to win it! And it lands on… clip without context!

What the what?????? Did he really say that??? Yes he did! Guess the NRA forgot to mail Pat his weekly dividend. Spin it again! And it lands on… the GOP. Well you know it’s no secret that conservatives held their annual Conservative Political Action Conference this weekend in Washington DC. Which means that Trump actually had to spend the weekend in DC. And the madness was out in full force. And it was insane. But not before Trump did a little self congratulating.


In other news - Ronald McDonald has a 93% approval rating among McDonalds patrons, Col. Sanders has a 93% approval rating among KFC patrons, Jack has a 93% approval rating among Jack In The Box fans, and the Burger King King has a 93% approval rating among Burger King patrons. It's the fast food superfecta! I mean come on nobody cares what the other 7% do am I right?

(CNN)Longtime conservative Mona Charen -- who faced backlash at CPAC after lambasting Republicans for supporting "sexual harassers and abusers of women" within their party -- now says she's happy with what happened at Saturday's event.
Charen defended her comments on Sunday in a New York Times op-ed titled, "I'm glad I got booed at CPAC."
"There is nothing more freeing than telling the truth," Charen wrote. "And it must be done, again and again, by those of us who refuse to be absorbed into this brainless, sinister, clownish thing called Trumpism, by those of us who refuse to overlook the fools, frauds and fascists attempting to glide along in his slipstream into respectability."
Charen was one of four women on Saturday's #UsToo panel and was asked what riled her up about modern feminism.

I don’t know… what political party is Zoidberg affiliated with? Probably whichever one has the best buffet. And speaking of buffets, there was a buffet of madness on display at CPAC. I mean would you be surprised Trump lied about something? I’m not!

Speaking at the conservative CPAC conference in Washington, President Donald Trump took a hard line on immigration and again used the deadly Central American gang MS-13 as an example.

MS-13 members, he said, "are animals, they cut people. They cut 'em. They cut 'em up in little pieces, and they want them to suffer. And we take them into our country, because our immigration laws are so bad, that when we catch them, it's called catch and release. We have to by law catch them, and then release them. Catch and release.

"And I can't get the Democrats, and nobody has been able to for years, to approve common-sense measures that when we catch these animal killers, we can lock them up and throw away the keys."

It’s hard to tell exactly what Trump meant by this, and the White House answered only by providing details on one case from 2017. We’ve decided not to put this statement to the Truth-O-Meter, but we thought the issues it raises is worth a discussion. Immigration specialists said his statement is at best misleading.

Yeah two thumbs up! But then things got weird when French, I don’t want to say Nazi. Let’s call her “ultra far right” candidate Marine La Pen, and would you be surprised to learn she’s just like Trump? I’m not!

Marion Maréchal-Le Pen, a rising star in the French far-right movement, drew explicit parallels between her worldview and President Donald Trump’s when she took the stage at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C.

“I’m not offended when I hear President Donald Trump say ‘America first,'” Maréchal-Le Pen said Thursday. “In fact, I want America first for the American people, I want Britain first for the British people, and I want France first for the French people.”

Maréchal-Le Pen, 28, is the niece of French far-right National Front leader Marine Le Pen, and known to be more socially conservative than her aunt, the Guardian reports. She’s a former member of the French parliament and announced last year that she was taking a break from politics.

Because that’s one thing conservatives are known for – not taking breaks from politics! But then there was Megan McCain’s turn to speak and she layed the smackdown on Trump for attacking John McCain’s brain cancer. And if there’s one thing you don’t do – it’s attack the Fox News cult. Once you’re on their shit list, you’re on it for life!

“As you know, President Trump took some potshots at my father and got the crowd at CPAC to boo him,” The View panelists McCain said on-air, moments after Trump’s CPAC appearance.

She said her mother will be joining her on The View on Wednesday, at which time “both of us will be addressing this…and talk about what it’s like having this continue to happen while my father battles brain cancer.”

Trump attacked the former Vietnam War POW who has served as Arizona’s senator since 1987, during his CPAC speech Friday morning.

Talking to a hall packed with conservative supporters, Trump slapped himself on the back for his various accomplishments in office, including the repeal of Obamacare’s individual mandate. Trump said he would have been able to kill Obamacare outright, and put a new health care plan in place “except for one senator who came in to the room at 3 o’clock in the morning and went like that,” signaling thumbs down.

Wait, he can be insulted? And Mehgan I can’t believe you’re shocked by this! For shame! You should have been following this program! See – we know Trump lies so much his lies have their own character and body to them, much like a fine wine. Yes, I’ll have the 2016 Bigly Fake please! Mmmm, that is some good shit! But it’s good to know that our president is trying to unite people in a time of crisis and tragedy.

President Trump condemned on Friday a Parkland, Fla., sheriff’s deputy who stayed outside the school he was patrolling while a shooting rampage unfolded inside last week, even as he insisted that his proposal to arm well-trained teachers would have prevented the massacre.

“When it came time to get in there and do something, he didn’t have the courage, or something happened, but he certainly did a poor job — there’s no question about that,” Mr. Trump said of Scot Peterson, who resigned on Thursday after surveillance video showed that he had failed to enter Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland to confront the gunman as he was killing 17 people.

“He was there for five minutes — for five minutes,” Mr. Trump told reporters at the White House. “That was during the entire shooting. He heard it right from the beginning. So he certainly did a poor job, but that’s a case where somebody was outside, they’re trained, they didn’t act properly under pressure, or they were a coward.”

He spoke on his way to the Conservative Political Action Conference in Oxon Hill, Md., where he continued to promote his proposal — embraced by the National Rifle Association — to allow some teachers and other educators to carry concealed firearms in schools. He said on Thursday that such teachers should be paid a small bonus, and that he would devote federal resources to training them to use weapons to protect students.

Oh and this might be one of my favorite stories out of CPAC this weekend – Ted Cruz. Yes that Ted Cruz – painted the Democrats as the party of Lisa Simpson. Do they not realize that Lisa became president after Trump? They even predicted it!

Sen. Ted Cruz kicked off his appearance at CPAC today by declaring that, when it comes to protecting gun rights, the Republican Party is proudly the party of Homer Simpson.

Conservative commentator Ben Domenech said that the current debate over gun rights was aptly summed up by an episode of “The Simpsons” in which Lisa asserted that the Second Amendment is “just a remnant from revolutionary days [and] has no meaning today,” while Homer insisted that the Constitution guarantees him a right to own a gun because otherwise “the king of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around.”

“I think the Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson,” Cruz responded, “and Republicans are happily the party of Homer and Bart and Maggie and Marge.”

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
[br] [/font]

Spin that shit!!! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! And it lands on… chance!

Nice! I get a “Get out of jail free” card. I’ll just put that away for later. Spin it again! And it lands on… guns! People, are we ever going to learn? I think I’ve figured out the five stages of mass shooting grief in this country. And I will explain this with all of the articles and videos in this entry. So the first stage that I’ve come up with to explain Mass Shooting Grief is of course you’re exploiting a tragedy.

Wayne LaPierre, the National Rifle Association’s Executive Vice President, told the Conservative Political Action Conference Thursday that politicians and the media are exploiting the Florida school shooting to expand gun control and ultimately abolish the second amendment, striking a defiant tone in his first public remarks since the mass shooting that killed 17 people and reignited the gun control debate in the U.S. to a fever pitch.

“As usual, the opportunists waited not one second to exploit tragedy for political gain,” LaPierre said during CPAC, the annual gathering of conservative activists and Republican leaders in National Harbor, Md. “Chris Murphy, Nancy Pelosi, and more, cheered on by the national media, eager to blame the NRA and call for more government control.”

“They hate the NRA,” LaPierre said.”The elites don’t care one wit about school children. If they truly cared, they would protect them.”

No Wayne, we’re actually booing you. Now of course I believe the second stage when a national tragedy like this occurs – which is happening on an almost daily basis now – is to blame the victims.

A sheriff in Florida says he will not resign amid mounting criticism for the armed officer who failed to act during the massacre at a high school in Parkland, saying the deputy's response was "not [his] responsibility".

Scott Israel, the Broward County Sheriff, insisted only one of his armed deputies is so far known to have been at fault for staying outside the school during the attack rather than entering to confront the gunman. Nikolas Cruz, a 19-year-old former student at the school, has been charged with the killings.

In the wake of the shooting, Donald Trump called for teachers to be armed, saying “gun-adept” teachers, coaches, and other school workers would be able to deter school shooters.

But it later emerged that there had been an armed policeman, identified as the school's resource officer Scot Peterson, was nearby when the shooting began but did not go into the building.

Yes, you really do suck, sir. And come on, speaking of suck, how unfortunate is it to be strapped with the name Scott Peterson? Seriously. So I think the third stage of Gun Nut Grief is to ignore the calls for a ban on assault weapons.

The US National Rifle Association (NRA) has said it does not support any gun ban following a shooting in a Florida school that left 17 people dead.

The NRA's comments appear to go against President Donald Trump's proposals to tighten gun controls.

Since the 14 February attack on the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School the NRA has become a target of a campaign for tougher gun laws.

On Sunday, some students returned to the school for the first time.

Yeah you suck, NRA, you jackasses! And then there’s the fourth stage of gun nut grief – threaten to murder those who don’t agree with you!

Students at the elite prep school Harvard-Westlake got a troubling alert as they headed to class Friday morning — their campuses had been closed because of a security threat.

A disturbing post on Instagram showing ammunition and a shotgun with the words "#HarvardWestlake" written across the barrel had come to school officials' attention. The account belonged to Jonathan Martin, a former Miami Dolphins' offensive lineman who was the victim of a high-profile bullying scandal in 2013, and is a Harvard-Westlake alumnus.

"When you're a bully victim & a coward, your options are suicide, or revenge," read the text of an Instagram story posted on Martin's account. Martin was taken into custody Friday, and police said they do not believe he posed a threat to the school.

These types of threats have become a fact of life in the nine days since the Valentine's Day shooting that left 17 students and teachers dead in a Florida high school. Almost every day this week brought a new report that sent law enforcement scrambling to decipher the meaning and intent of teenagers' social media posts and comments to friends. School district officials said they were taking even the vaguest of threats seriously, too afraid to do otherwise.

Because only sane, well adjusted, rational people leave death threats! And it doesn’t take a law enforcement expert to figure that one out. Which leads me to the final stage of gun nut grief: sell more guns!

TAMPA, Fla. -- Thousands of gun enthusiasts -- more so than ever -- flocked to the Florida State Fairgrounds for the Florida Gun Show event.

Organizers say they had a record number of people attend the event on Saturday, Feb. 24, almost 7,000, and expected more Sunday.

The manager for the Florida Gun Show, George Fernandez, says they’ve never seen such a big crowd.

The company canceled the show in Fort Lauderdale next month after the mayor asked them to show respect to the victims of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting earlier this month.

With the heated debate over gun control staying front and center, Fernandez expressed concerns over proposed gun laws possibly restricting gun owners.

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[font size="8"]The NRA
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Let’s give the wheel a nice strong spin shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No a whammy!!!

Spin it again. And it lands on… guns. Ok so if you go back to the previous entry, Wayne La Pierre really screwed the pooch this week and it caused what some might call a “category 5 shit storm”. So here’s more on what happened.

Before last week, membership in the National Rifle Association meant gaining access to a broad range of discounts. From special rates on auto insurance policies to cheaper flights when you booked through its website, the NRA's discount program offered a lot of perks.

But in the wake of a massacre at a Florida high school on February 14, activists flooded social media with calls to end corporate partnerships with America's most powerful gun lobby.

Since Thursday, more than a dozen brands severed ties with the organization.

In a statement, the National Rifle Association called the decisions "a shameful display of political and civic cowardice."

Hell yeah! But is it really an act of cowardice, NRA? Well, why don’t you just ask your president? I mean he’s clearly the right man for the job!

President Trump on Monday claimed he would have run into a Florida high school to prevent a gunman from carrying out this month's mass shooting.

"You don't know until you test it, but I really believe I'd run in there even if I didn't have a weapon,” Trump told a gathering of governors at the White House. "And I think most of the people in this room would have done that, too."

The president was doubling down on his criticism of an armed sheriff’s deputy who did not confront the shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, where 17 people were killed earlier this month.

"They weren’t exactly Medal of Honor winners, alright?" Trump said. "The way they performed was frankly disgusting.”

Trump also told the governors he ate lunch last weekend with leaders of the National Rifle Association (NRA).

Someone just saw Rambo! But really Trump? You would run into the gunfire? That would require you to run first of all. I mean you can barely walk a golf course! But back to the NRA – they handled this whole thing very poorly. You might be asking why?

The aftermath of a mass shooting in America is tragically familiar. After the shock and grief, advocates push lawmakers to pass stricter gun laws. The NRA stands its ground. Nothing really changes.

But something else is happening after the attack at a high school in Parkland, Florida.

People are pushing companies to cut ties with the powerful gun lobby. Advocates are targeting not weapons makers, but banks, rental car agencies, airlines, insurers and other companies with ties to the NRA.

"Americans have had it," said Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, a group that calls for gun law reform. "This feels like a different energy level," she added.

And yes change is scary. But come on we need to do something. And the backlash has already begun. So the NRA held a town hall over the weekend and it was also a category 5 shit storm. So here’s what happened exactly.

CNN is slated to hold a live town hall event next week featuring a discussion with parents and students from the Florida high school where a gunman killed 17 students and staff members.

The network announced Saturday it will air "Stand Up: The Students of Stoneman Douglas Demand Action" on Wednesday, Feb. 21, following calls from students demanding that lawmakers take legislative action to prevent future mass shootings.

CNN said it has invited President Trump, Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R), Florida Sens. Marco Rubio (R) and Bill Nelson (D) as well as Rep. Ted Deutch (D) to the discussion to hear from the community members affected by the tragedy.

Which he brought that same shit eating grin to that meeting. And come on, how do you need note cards to tell you how to feel? I mean this isn’t Futurama!

President Trump tweeted Thursday night a claim that a student had quit CNN's Town Hall after refusing a "scripted question." CNN had earlier issued a statement that said "there is absolutely no truth to this."

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School junior Colton Haab told ABC affiliate WPLG-TV that "CNN had originally asked me to write a speech and questions, and it ended up being all scripted." Haab, who had previously told CNN he used Kevlar sheets to shield students from bullets, said he decided not to participate.

In a statement posted online by CNN Communications, Haab had been asked to participate after the earlier interview. According to CNN, Haab's father withdrew his name from participation before the forum began.

Fox News' Tucker Carlson also interviewed Haab. Haab told Carlson that a CNN producer had contacted him to participate and asked him to send in comments. Haab said a day later, they asked him to submit only questions and not a statement. He said he sent in questions but then CNN "actually wrote out a question for me" from his earlier interview.

Yes! Wrong! Fake news! Scripted questions! Everything is fake! And of course the NRA isn’t helping things, and I don think this is the right way to phrase how you got owned.

Michael Hammond, a spokesman for Gun Owners of America who just weeks before the recent mass shooting at a school in Florida, boasted of his group’s role in stopping gun legislation after school massacres in Colorado and Connecticut, appeared on VCY America’s “Crosstalk” program on Thursday, where he attacked a CNN town hall about gun violence as a “lynch mob” and entertained callers promoting various conspiracy theories about the Florida shooting.

In response to host Jim Schneider’s question about the claims of one student who claimed that CNN required him to read a “scripted” question at the town hall (CNN has released emails rebutting this), Hammond said that “CNN basically accumulated a lynch mob.” He repeated NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch’s claim, which is not backed up by videos of the event, that attendees yelled “burn her” at her as she left the town hall.

“I mean, that was not a town hall, that was a lynch mob orchestrated by CNN to create the illusion that young Americans, in fact, want to ban guns when in fact, it’s just a carefully selected, carefully group of people that don’t represent America at all,” Hammond said.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Ooh that was a good spin right there. And it lands on…. Ooh look another clip without context!

Quick! To the pedo mobile! Thank you sound effects guy. You know it’s getting harder and harder to take these clowns seriously anymore. Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump. So Donald Trump, our 45th president, has been bringing the crazy extra hard this week. But in case you aren’t aware – he is running again in 2020! Mark your calendars! Because early campaigns are always a good thing!

President Trump will announce this week that he plans to run for reelection in 2020.

Conservative news aggregator Matt Drudge made the announcement Tuesday on his website.

The president plans to tap his former digital adviser Brad Parscale, who is presently spearheading a pro-Trump outside group called America First Policies, as his campaign manager, Drudge reported.

Trump's decision to run for reelection is not a surprise. He's repeatedly talked about being president for eight years and he filed paperwork with the Federal Elections Commission in January for his reelection committee.

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/375776-trump-to-announce-reelection-bid-for-2020

Remember the last time America went through a “winning” phase? Remember how stupid we all thought we were when it was finally over? So what makes this any different than the last time it happened? Well…

When it comes to Russia, Americans have more trust in special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation than they do in President Trump's denials of collusion, a new USA TODAY/Suffolk University Poll finds.

By wide margins, those surveyed are convinced that Russians meddled in the 2016 presidential election and that they will try it again. More than four in 10 believe Moscow's interference affected the outcome of the election that put Trump in the White House.

The poll of 1,000 registered voters, taken after Mueller's team indicted 13 Russians and three companies on criminal charges, spotlight the potential perils ahead for the president if he ends up in a showdown with the special counsel. A 58% majority say they have a lot or some trust in Mueller's investigation, while a 57% majority say they have little or no trust in Trump's denials.

"I think he's doing a heck of a job," John Shaw, 60, of Madison, Wis., said of Mueller. "He's not leaking anything. He's going piece by piece, methodically putting this whole thing together."

Read more: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/02/26/russia-americans-trust-special-counsel-mueller-more-than-trump-usa-today-poll-shows/371345002/

That’s right! More Americans trust the guy investigating Trump than they trust Trump! I mean is that how we win so much that we’re going to be sick of winning? That’s right! One guy in the audience going “woo!”. And someone really needs to take Fox News away from Trump. I think his derangement of Hillary Clinton is starting to go meta.

President Donald Trump’s TiVo was working overtime on Tuesday morning, as it seemed he was catching up on old episodes of Fox News — notably last night’s episode of Martha McCallum’s Fox News show.

The president first took to Twitter to quote Fox News judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano, who said on McCallum’s show Monday night that “someone at the Justice Department has a treasure trove of evidence of Mrs. Clinton’s criminality at her own hands, or through others, that ought to be investigated”:

“I fully agree with the president on that,” Napolitano added.

The former judge was reacting to Trump’s remarks in an interview with Jeanine Pirro from the weekend, in which he called on “you know who” — ostensibly Attorney General Jeff Sessions — to investigate Democrats for alleged misdeeds during the 2016 election.

Watch Napolitano’s comments above, via Fox News.

Think of it like this – Fox News knows Trump watches 24/7. They then feed him talking points which he then posts on his twitter feed. It’s a bullshit to bullshit pipeline. But we got to talk about Trump’s speech at CPAC for a minute. Here’s what he started with.

Two days after his White House “listening session,” where he met with anguished survivors of the Parkland, Florida high school massacre and the parents of the dead, President Trump is in a jocular mood. “I try like hell to hide that bald spot, folks, I work hard at it,” he tells the adoring audience at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference. “We’re hanging in there folks—together we are hanging in.”

He is clearly having a fine time hanging in. His rambling, bellicose speech: Bragging about eviscerating Obamacare; disparaging John McCain; smirking as the crowd reprises the stale “Lock Her Up” chant; reminding the audience of his miraculous electoral college victory. (Even they must be sick of this by now?)

It takes him almost an hour to mention the Parkland massacre. When he does, he promulgates what has emerged as his favorite solution for combatting school shootings—giving guns to teachers. Elaborating in a tweet on Saturday, the President wrote: “Armed Educators (and trusted people who work within a school) love our students and will protect them. Very smart people. Must be firearms adept & have annual training. Should get yearly bonus. Shootings will not happen again - a big & very inexpensive deterrent. Up to States.”

Holy shit! If that’s his opener, what’s his closer going to be? I know! Lets think of this like a concert – he’s already got his greatest hits out of the way and he’s building up to the big finale. What is it you might ask?

NATIONAL HARBOR, Md.—Republican activists in the audience at President Trump's speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday broke out into a "lock her up" chant, reviving the 2016 GOP presidential campaign chant to imprison Hillary Clinton.
The chants started after Trump criticized Clinton as "crooked" during a brief aside in his remarks. He seized on the chant to go further on the offensive against his political rival.

“Everything that's turning out — now, it's amazing. It's come full circle. Wow, have they committed a lot of atrocities?" Trump said to the crowd, which cheered and yelled encouragement after the "Lock her up" chants subsided.

Oh yeah called it!!! That’s always his big closing number! I’ll just leave this here.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Self Piloting Cars
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, and lands on… wait for it… A Random Tweet!


He seriously talks like a valley girl doesn’t he? I mean you could seriously cast Trump in a remake of “Legally Blonde” and it would be exactly the same. Spin it again! And it lands on… Top 10 Investigates! Hit it!

Some of America’s biggest auto manufacturers like Tesla, Cadillac, and Volkswagen, are test driving a controversial new system that will allow cars to drive themselves. But what is it exactly? How reliable is it? Does it give you a higher probability of being killed or injured behind the wheel? These are the answers to the questions that are the biggest draw that is self driving cars.

Tesla has been promising a significant new update to the Autopilot software for a while now and Elon Musk, along with a few other executives, have been teasing the quality of the new version over the last few months.

Electrek has now learned the first details of this new update as Tesla started beta testing the new build.

Sources familiar with the matter told Electrek that the only new feature is the ability of Autopilot 2.0 to detect and render on the instrument cluster vehicles driving in lanes adjacent to the lane in which the Tesla vehicle is driving.

The bigger difference is the improvements to existing Autopilot features, like Autosteer, due to a much more advanced neural net system to power the Autopilot’s computer vision.

We picture the auto pilot system to be just like that. But now people are taking the Auto Pilot in a much different direction – coming up with ways to fool it. I mean come on, do you really want to fool your new $100,000 car?

Autonomous cars are becoming increasingly more popular. It's no surprise that manufacturers are looking to add their own iterations of this creature comfort to newer luxury cars, and despite some of the public expecting to get into a self-driving car and just watch a movie, or not pay attention in the slightest, automakers haven't quite perfected the technology. That's why some owners have resorted to their own "hacks" in order to achieve fully hands-free driving.

To show just why driver alertness is still required with today's self-driving technology, we visit the Golden State to discuss how bad of an idea this alleged drunk driver had when he stepped behind the wheel of his Tesla. Eventually, because the driver failed to respond to the Tesla's prompts to engage the steering wheel, his car came to a stop on the Bay Bridge before officers found the vehicle. According to the California Highway Patrol on Twitter, the offender attempted to defend his actions by explaining to the officers that his car was using Autopilot.

Tesla, which has one of the more advanced autonomous driving platforms available for consumers to purchase in the United States and elsewhere around the world, still has a way to go in order to be perfect. The technical and legal limitations of a brand new kind of driving will most certainly have some ups and downs before becoming a widely adopted standard. Many drivers seem to forget this and still continue to put themselves and others in harm's way.


Because of course they will. This is 2018 here. Never underestimate the other guy’s blatant stupidity – even if he owns a $100,000 electric vehicle. Just because you can afford it, does not mean you get to be stupid with it. But as cool as that Space X launch was, Tesla’s controversial auto pilot system so far is failing to impress.

Tesla's Autopilot feature has become the subject of controversy again after a Model S that was possibly using the feature crashed into a fire truck on January 22. The feature gives Tesla vehicles semi-autonomous capabilities but is not meant to replace a human driver.

Now, Chris Lattner, the former Apple legend who spent nearly six months leading Tesla's Autopilot software team in 2017, has expressed his disappointment at the software's current state.

In a post on Twitter, Lattner shared a short review of the Model 3, Tesla's first mass-market electric car.

"The hardware is truly great (a big step up from my Model S) but the software is unfinished and buggy," he wrote. "I'm also sad how little progress HW2 Autopilot has made since I last drove it in June..."

Well, at least the Airplane! auto pilot system was quite a bit better designed than Tesla, and that was in a comedy movie. But why are auto insurers encouraging the use of self driving cars? Maybe it’s because they know they will make more money?

Britain’s largest auto insurer, Direct Line, has been offering Tesla owners a sweet-sounding deal for the last few months: Enable Autopilot, the semi-autonomous driver-assist system, and get five percent off your yearly insurance premium. When the insurer announced the inducement in December, Tesla owners nearly broke the internet, as they rushed to crow, assuming they too were in line for a similar financial windfall. They were wrong.

One problem is that this discount isn't coming to America, for reasons we'll explain. But there's another surprising fact to consider: The cost of auto insurance in the driverless age might just increase, even though the number of crashes decreases.

Direct Line's stated goal with this Tesla initiative is to encourage the use of the semi-autonomous (SAE Level 2/3) system in the United Kingdom. Accelerated adoption would help Direct and the rest of the insurance industry learn more about how self-driving technologies can cut down on roadway mishaps and fatalities, and reduce insurance claims in the process.

But would you really be surprised that the built in wifi on a Tesla Model 3 can be hacked? This is some next level James Bond type stuff here.

Tesla is delivering more Model 3 vehicles every day and now the vehicle is making its way into the hands of Tesla hackers and tinkerers who are exploring the new all-electric vehicle in depth.

It’s why it’s not surprising that someone has now managed to hack the Model 3’s ‘factory mode’ – revealing a few interesting details in the process.

‘Factory mode’ is a version of Tesla’s onboard software in its vehicles used to perform final tests and diagnostics before shipping the car out of the factory.

It has a toolbox screen that can give some interesting information about the vehicle’s powertrain.

A member of the Tesla community who goes by ‘Ingineerix’ already has a lot of experience hacking Tesla vehicles. He recently took delivery of a new Model 3 and started going to work.

Yes there is always the possibility of cracking. But we’ll leave you with this – when you have a car that is capable of driving itself, expect to see more of this. And this is something we don’t want.

The Tesla was traveling at 65 miles per hour---the driver reportedly told firefighters that the vehicle was on auto-pilot. This is the second accident involving a Tesla on auto-pilot in the last two weeks, according to ABC7.

Tesla's auto pilot feature is an advanced driver assistance system that uses cameras, sensors and various vehicle systems to maintain the speed of the car, prevent them from running into slower-moving cars ahead, keep the vehicle in the lane and even change lanes for the driver, according to Auto Trader. Very few other cars have all of these systems, and Tesla gives control of all of them to the car's electronic capabilities, requiring much less input from the driver, according to Auto Trader.

The National Transportation Safety Board will be coming to California to examine the crash, according to ABC7. No one was injured. The first Tesla auto-pilot crash occurred Jan. 13 on the Bay Bridge. The suspected drunk driver had passed out behind the wheel, ABC7 reported.


So there you have it. You have a car that drives itself. But not without consequences. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… another clip without context!

Uh huh sure, blame the victims for not being nice enough to the attacker. How very Christian of you. Spin it again! Holy shit, hit it! Yes friends! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to inform you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So let me ask you something my fine brothers and sisters of this beautiful congregation of the LAWRD our GAWD… how does the religious right respond to the government? Not that way, sir! So this week, the Christian right became self aware. And how does the organizations who proclaim themselves in the name of JAYSUS handle such a situation?

Focus on the Family, the behemoth Religious Right organization founded by James Dobson, has declared itself to be a church, thereby avoiding a requirement that it file public tax documents, according to IRS records and a document available on the organization’s website.

Focus on the Family filed as a non-church 501(c)(3) nonprofit as recently as the 2014 fiscal year, submitting to the IRS a publicly available Form 990 as most tax-exempt nonprofits are required to do. But when the group posted a Form 990 for the 2015 fiscal year on its website—dated October 26, 2017, and reporting a massive budget of $89 million—it was emblazoned with the message “Not required to file and not filed with the IRS. Not for public inspection.”

On the part of the form on which it is required to identify the reason for its public charity status, the group indicates that it is a “church, convention of churches or association of churches.” In an “explanation of church status,” the organization states that while it hasn’t filed with the IRS because the IRS has told it that it’s “not required” to do so, it would “post a pro-forma 990 on our website and make copies available to donors.”

Yeah booooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir! So Focus On The Family robbed Peter to pay… themselves! They have committed one of the most egregious of sins as outlined here in the good book! And sins must be punished in the name of the lawrd our gawd!!! But what… else… does the Christian right do to become self aware? Why they simply insert themselves into the business of Donald J. Trump.

While thousands of conservative political activists gather just outside Washington, D.C., this week for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), a gathering of spiritual warriors will pack the Trump International Hotel just blocks from the White House. The sold-out event—The Turnaround: An Appeal to Heaven National Gathering—has been organized by a group of dominionists who consider themselves to be modern-day apostles and prophets, including Dutch Sheets, Chuck Pierce, Cindy Jacobs and Lou Engle.

Event leaders are associated with the New Apostolic Reformation, which believes a triumphant, dominion-taking church will help bring about the return of Christ, and many are part of POTUS Shield, a network of self-described apostles and prophets who believe President Trump was anointed by God to help bring that all about.

Sheets, the event’s main promoter, believes the event will play a prophetic role in getting the church to “function as Christ’s Ekklesia, the representatives of His Kingdom government on earth; as such, we will expose the enemies of God, disrupt their plans, enforce Heaven’s rule, and reform America.” As he described it in 2015, “We must realize that we are God’s governing force on the earth, which have been given keys of authority from Him to legislate from the spiritual realm.”

“It seems the spiritual airwaves are filled with prophetic insight regarding this gathering,” Sheets wrote excitedly in an email sent over the weekend. He told a story about a dream that a “trusted prophet” had, which featured hundreds of angels with tuning forks in their hands transforming into an army of special forces.

Heaven’s rule? If this is Heaven’s rule, I would hate to see what Hell’s rule looks like! Thank you my fine congregation! And by the way if this is really the work of the lawrd our gawd… then why is HE fucking up so hard? Well here is more proof of God’s existance!!!

On Friday, right-wing televangelist James Robison posted a video on his Facebook page in which he declared that Donald Trump’s presidency is a sign that “God is answering the prayers of praying people.”

Robison, who has been a key spiritual adviser to Trump since the 201 election, called on Christians to not only continue praying for Trump but also to pray against his opponents, who “need to be prayed out of office and replaced by someone who understands freedom’s principles because we are losing freedom, there is an all-out assault on the freedoms our Founding Fathers understood.”

“We are a democracy, in that we choose our leaders,” Robison said. “That means you have got to choose wisely and you have got to be led by God. And when you are praying and you get a leader, that leader is either there to bring correction or judgment on the people. I believe that God answered our prayers mercifully and, in mercy, is giving us a healing of the land. I believe we are seeing a miracle right now.”

Robison said that he has spent years speaking to Trump many times a week and often several times a day, during which he “proclaims the truth of God’s word consistently” and never wavers. He said that Trump has been remarkably open to hearing with word of God.

Indeed oh lord!!!!! So are the praying people really as big of asshole as he is? Probably!

Former White House adviser Sebastian Gorka spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference this morning, where he declared that Donald Trump’s election is proof that God exists.

Declaring that conservatives and Republicans must mobilize to vote in the 2018 midterm elections in order to prevent Democrats from gaining control of Congress, Gorka said that if Hillary Clinton had become become president in 2016, “we would have lost our republic.”

“If you ever had a doubt that God exists, guess what?” Gorka said, “November the 8th all the proof you need. Why? Because [Clinton] had it all, she had the media, she spent $1.4 billion on a seat, on a position, she thought was owed to her because of her gender and her last name, but she lost!”

Gorka said that Trump “brought us back from the brink. We didn’t have two wheels over the edge of the cliff, we had three wheels over the edge of the cliff. If she had won, that was it—from the Supreme Court on down, that was it. We would have lost our republic.”

Yes indeed! And by the way how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them!!! But in order to be self aware, you must be free of DEMONS!!!! And that is what our first lady did!

Last week, End Times pastor Paul Begley appeared on “The Hagmann Report,” where he stood by his claim that First Lady Melania Trump had ordered the White House to be “completely exorcised” before she moved in.

After Begley made this claim earlier this month, the story was widely circulated among those who saw it as a sign of President Trump’s growing Christian faith, which eventually prompted the Associated Press to contact the White House for comment, forcing the first lady’s office to declare that Begely’s claim was “not true in any way.”

But Begley is standing by his claim and insisting that the AP’s story denying the exorcism is “fake news.”

“The lamestream, mainstream fake news media tried to say that that was fake news or that there was no—I think they said the White House, Melania Trump’s spokeswoman said there was no ‘exorcism’ in the White House,” Begley said. “There may not have been a, quote, ‘exorcism’ in the White House, but they didn’t say that they didn’t remove all of the idols, all the relics, all the witchcraft, all the voodoo, all of the things that were in there. They are not going to tell you those weren’t removed because, believe me, they were.”

Yes, just ask her! But I hope you get that as a take away from this week’s sermon – demons are bad and not allowed in the White House, OK? Now go forth and spread the word of JAYSUS and our GAWD using the knowledge you have acquired in the Good Book! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on…. Go directly to jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Wait – I’ve got that Get Out Of Jail Free card! Spin it again! Infowars. Shit, do I really have to talk about that shitty channel again? Aw, I’d rather be in jail. Wait, there’s good news about Infowars? But there’s also bad news? OK thanks for clearing that up, Carlos. So here’s at least part of the bad news – we haven’t got to the full story yet – is that Alex is offering up a piping hot dish of some certified grade A bullshit:

InfoWars personality and host Alex Jones said that the school shooting last week, in which a former student killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida, was organized by globalists following the release of the House Intelligence Committee’s FISA memo.

Jones says that in the week preceding the mass shooting, he predicted “more than 10 times on air” that there would be a “new Oklahoma City attack on a church, a school, or a federal building blamed on right-wing terrorists” and that comments made at the time by Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) were evidence of that.

“You had Congressman Schiff, you had senators, you had globalist operatives, MSNBC, CNN saying there’s going to be massacres if you release the memo. You’re gonna cause right-wingers to kill us.”

Democrats and Republicans had been fighting ahead of the release of a controversial and hyped intelligence memo written by Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.), which alleged surveillance powers abuse during the 2016 election against the Trump campaign by the Obama administration.

Yes…. WTF LOL indeed. Although methinks Alex doth protest too much because this is a whole new level of crazy. You know Alex – he kind of reminds me of a much crazier Riddler. You might have heard the term “crisis actor” floating around the internet last week. Well guess where it originated from? Yup you are correct!

Welcome, Parkland shooting survivors, to the ugly world of politics in 2018.

In the aftermath of last week’s school shooting in Parkland, Fla., some of the most powerful testimonies have come from the teenagers who survived the rampage. They have repeatedly detailed their harrowing experience to national news networks, many calling for stricter gun control laws while decrying President Trump for not doing enough to protect students. Others have wept with grief while telling their stories again and again.

The students have become a mobilizing force unlike any seen after previous mass shootings, planning marches and rallies in Florida and Washington — all while mourning the friends they’ve so recently lost.

They have also become a target of right-wing smears and innuendo.

Some prominent figures in the right-wing media are suggesting that the students are making it all up, or that the children are paid actors or that their talking points have been manufactured by public relations experts on the left.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seriously attacking the victims as “crisis actors” and saying they’re paid protestors. That is a stunning, jaw dropping level of evil. But not entirely unexpected, this is Alex Jones we’re talking about here. The guy who sells led-based protein powder and calls it “bone growth formula”. Oh wait, I’m sorry “TACTICAL bone growth formula”. But here’s where the good news comes in! Alex is treading on dangerously thin ice with Youtube after this fuck up!

InfoWars, a far-right media organization run by Alex Jones and known for peddling unfounded conspiracy theories, is on thin ice with YouTube after it posted a video that portrayed the survivors of the Parkland school shooting as actors.

The Alex Jones Channel, Infowar's biggest YouTube account, received one strike for that video, a source with knowledge of the account told CNN. YouTube's community guidelines say if an account receives three strikes in three months, the account is terminated.

That video focused on David Hogg, a strong voice among survivors of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. The attention has given him a powerful platform -- but it has also made him the subject of demonstrably false conspiracy theories that claim he's so skilled as a public speaker that he must be a paid actor.

On Wednesday, YouTube removed the video from InfoWars' page for violating its policies on harassment and bullying. The video was titled, "David Hogg Can't Remember His Lines In TV Interview."

Although it is really sad that we have to take time to clarify the bullshit spewing hard and far among the far right conspiracy theorists. And really, if you admit to listening to Alex Jones, first of all – nobody is coming to take your guns away. But someone needs to take you aside for a little chat.

In the days since a gunman opened fire on their classmates on Valentine's Day, killing 17 people just as school was about to end for the day, a group of outraged teenage survivors have been vocally demanding stricter gun laws. In response to their activism, right-wing outlets have contrived and pushed false reports that the students are actors capitalizing on the tragedy to push a liberal agenda on gun control.

These fake claims have now gone viral. Hundreds of videos, articles, and posts claiming to unmask these fake students have swept across social media, gaining thousands of views, shares, and retweets. The content picks apart the students' performances in media interviews as they talked about the friends they lost in the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and their anger that the tragedy happened at another US school.

As of Tuesday night, 108,135 people were talking about "crisis actors" on Facebook. One video had been watched more than 41,000 times and shared by about 2,300 users. Before it was removed, another Facebook post calling Stoneman Douglas senior David Hogg an actor was shared more than 110,000 times. Yet another clip posted on Twitter got more than 6,000 retweets.

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[font size="8"]Idiots With Guns
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Yeah sure because we all know demons exist. Just ask that crazy lady from Trading Spouses. Spin it again! And we get… the mystery item! So folks we’re going to have some fun with this. I’m taking a break from talking about all the horrible news going on and we’re going to take a second to refute the NRA’s most famous talking point. Yes – you know the one. “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”. So where are the good guys with guns? Well they’re here. This is *cue reverb* “Idiots With Guns”. Ooh, that was some good reverb! And I will ask the NRA – how are more guns going to make us safer, exactly? Can we cue up some music please?

And here we go!

Ready for more?

Oh we’re not done yet!

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… clip without context!

Go on…………………! Spin it again! And it lands on… oh hey! People are dumb!

I want to start with this story out of Oberlin, Louisiana. Loosiana!!!! So really people, is this where we’re at in 2018? Look, I’ve taken a lot of math classes and I’m sure you all have as well. But have you ever looked at a square root symbol and thought “hey! That looks like something you could shoot someone with!”. So of course widespread panic ensues, because I know what country I live in.

A discussion among students at Oberlin High School in Oberlin, La., about a mathematical symbol led to a police investigation and a search of one of the student’s homes, according to the Allen Parish Sheriff’s Office. On the afternoon of Feb. 20, detectives investigated a report of terroristic threats at the school, where they learned that a student had been completing a math problem that required drawing the square-root sign.

Students in the group began commenting that the symbol, which represents a number that when multiplied by itself equals another number, looked like a gun. After several students made comments along those lines, another student said something the sheriff’s office said could have sounded like a threat out of context.

Police searched the student’s home, where they found no guns or any evidence that he had any access to guns. Authorities also wrote there was no evidence the student had any intent to commit harm.

“The student used extremely poor judgment in making the comment, but in light of the actual circumstances, there was clearly no evidence to support criminal charges,” the department wrote, adding that the school board had been contacted to determine any disciplinary action for the student.


So the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a square root symbol is a good guy with a square root symbol! Maybe that’s why they call it “the sum of all fears”! Hey o! Next up on the subject of guns – you know – don’t bring a corn dog to a gun fight. And why am I not surprised that our old buddy Florida Man is involved?

A Florida man desperate to get his beer Friday used hot dogs and a corn dog stick to attack a gas station clerk, police said Monday.

Cavan McDaniel, 35, threw hot dogs and poked the female clerk with a corn dog stick at Petro gas station in Marion County, officials said. McDaniel’s bizarre outbreak allegedly began after the clerk refused to sell him beer. It’s unclear what the clerk’s reason was.

“The victim was left with a red mark under her eye due to the corn dog stick attack,” the sheriff’s office said.

Surveillance video captured a man identified as McDaniel lunging with a hot dog at the clerk.

You’re welcome for that image by the way. Next up – planes. And bad puns. This is an exceptionally bad travel story out of Amsterdam, and if your poop is so rancid that it diverts a flight, you might want to go have your bowels examined.

Sometimes plane travel really stinks.

A flight from Dubai to Amsterdam had to make an emergency landing in Vienna after a fight broke out because one of the passengers wouldn’t stop breaking wind.

The fart-induced fracas happened Feb. 11 aboard Transavia Airlines Flight HV6902 when two men sitting next to an apparently very flatulent man raised a stink about his repeated gas attacks, according to Fox News.

When the alleged perpetrator didn’t stop, his disgusted seatmates reportedly complained to the airline crew, who apparently did nothing.

Instead, the captain issued a warning to the two complainants, accusing them of noisy and aggressive behavior and making threats, according to the NL Times.

Hey man we just did Holy Shit! Leave that to Pastor Initech! Next up – fast food. And no it’s not fast food rage, and I do love a good fast food rage story. This is actually more of a fast food marketing fail – would you really want to eat your selfie? Which has me now curious as to whether or not @realDonaldTrump would eat this or not.

One picture is worth a thousand bites.

Hardee's announced today it will be toasting the faces of fans (and others) into the sourdough toast, as a promotion of the chain's Frisco Breakfast Sandwiches. The company says it's because its "sourdough toast in the morning is changing the face of breakfast."

The promotion is taking place from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Hardee's will be toasting the faces of people who tweet a photo with the hashtag #SourdoughSelfie. Some famous faces will also appear, the chain says.

To participate, follow the company's Twitter account and submit your own selfie.

Damn straight! Finally this week we’ve got this story involving animal transportation – and this is a story that is actually pretty close to where I live! So… this guy is every conservative redneck cowboy wannabe in a nutshell. I love this so much!

LONG BEACH, Calif. (AP) — Authorities say a drunken man rode his horse onto a California freeway.

Los Angeles news station KABC-TV reports that the California Highway Patrol stopped the man early Saturday on State Route 91 in Long Beach.

Officers administered field sobriety tests, which registered blood-alcohol levels of 0.21 percent and 0.19 percent — more than double the legal limit.

The man was arrested and booked for riding a horse while under the influence. The white horse, Guera, wasn’t hurt and was released to the man’s mother.

The California Highway Patrol offered a message to the public on Twitter: “No, you may not ride your horse on the freeway, and certainly not while intoxicated.”

At least Mr. Ed has more brains than our president does! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #6: The United States Of America
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Let’s give the wheel a final spin this week. And it lands on… t-shirt cannon! Unfortunately I don’t have the budget to make and sell t-shirts. If I did you would be getting our Shithole World Tour t-shirt! Yes, it does have the poop emoji on it. Spin it again! Shithole World Tour 2018! Hit it!

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]The United States Of America[/font]

Welcome to the United States Of America everybody! This is our very last stop ever of our World Tour, and we decided that we would do something unprecedented. We’re going to put our *OWN* country through our World Tour filter. So of course we know and love the United States whether you’re visiting the insane metropolis that is New York City or stuck in traffic in the crazy freeway system that is Los Angeles. Or maybe you’re visiting the vast mountains of Colorado and Wyoming. Or maybe you’re going to Texas. Or you’re a country music fan who’s visiting Nashville. Or you’re a hip hop fan and you’re going to Atlanta. There is something for everybody here in the Land Of The Free and the Home Of The Brave. We also have the best food in the world and the best fast food in the world. I mean where else can you get a Triple Bacon Whopper and then wash it down with a 45 ounce jug of ice cold Coca Cola? We also have the best entertainment in the world. Come to Los Angeles and watch your favorite band in concert at the Forum or at Coachella. Or go to New York City and catch a taping of your favorite late night talk show host. Or go to Miami and check out all the beautiful rich people hanging out at the beaches. We’re also the home of the road trip! What better summer vacation than to spend it with your family while your kid is in the backseat complaining about how his iPad doesn’t get Wifi reception? So what else is the United States the home of? Well for starters it has a real sexual harassment problem!

Unwanted sexual comments and groping. Propositioning women. Exposing themselves. Coercing women into having sex or doing something sexual. And, especially pertinent to showbiz, forcing women to disrobe and appear naked at an audition without prior warning.

It's been deeply disturbing reading, but so far the powerful stories of accusers outnumber plain, hard facts about the extent of the problem in Tinseltown. Until now.

Working in partnership with The Creative Coalition, Women in Film and Television and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, USA TODAY surveyed 843 women who work in the entertainment industry in a variety of roles (producers, actors, writers, directors, editors and others) and asked them about their experiences with sexual misconduct.

The results are sobering: Nearly all of the women who responded to the survey (94%) say they have experienced some form of harassment or assault, often by an older individual in a position of power over the accuser.

Worse, more than one-fifth of respondents (21%) say they have been forced to do something sexual at least once.


You know what else the US A is the home of? It’s the home of safe spaces! And one campus in particular has been drawing a lot of controversy for one of the most ridiculous protests yet.

One of America’s most prominent conservative youth organisations has been engaged for months in a bitter internal fight over a university student wearing a baby’s diaper.

Turning Point USA, the non-profit founded by conservative activist Charlie Kirk and funded by a roster of Republican mega-donors, is known for the performative stunts it uses to recruit new members on campus. Among other things, they have created a “Professor Watch List” for teachers who they claim discriminate against conservatives, and invited right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos to speak on college campuses.

However it was “Free Speech Week” at Kent State University last October, which featured one student dressed in a diaper, sucking on a pacifier in a playpen, that brought the group mass attention.

Well you know there’s no such thing as bad publicity. You know what else the USA is the home of? It’s the home of the National Football League. And it’s also the home of NFL players kneeling during the national anthem. And this controversy just will never die!

But it might not be an issue.

Among the NFL players who continued to protest throughout the season, none made it to the Super Bowl.

The protest was started by former 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick last season. He took a knee during the National Anthem to silently protest the treatment of black Americans, particularly by police.

Many more players kneeled in protest this year, especially after President Trump denounced it and called for the firing of kneeling players.

Several New England Patriots players took part that first weekend after the president's incendiary comments, but haven't kneeled since.

That is pretty much our reaction too, there, sir. What else is the USA the home of? I know! It’s the home of the state of Florida! And all the crazy shit that comes out of that state! I could sit here all day and show crazy Florida stories. But I don’t have that kind of time! Here’s a few.

And of course we can’t talk about the USA without talking about guns but we’ve already covered that subject pretty extensively in this edition. So we won’t go into that subject. Instead you know what else the USA is the home of? Fast food! And television. And what happens when you combine the two?

"Rick and Morty" fans looking forward to Monday as their day for another chance to score McDonald's once-discontinued Szechuan dipping sauce found themselves fried yet again over problems getting the condiment.

On social media, some fans reported their McD's locations didn't have the promised sauce, had never heard of it or wouldn't provide it to them unless they ordered chicken tenders, not chicken McNuggets.

McDonald's did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Not all restaurants faced issues. I went to a Seattle McDonald's Monday afternoon and had no problem ordering the sauce with both chicken tenders and chicken McNuggets. The counter staffer knew about it and said it could be ordered with "anything that could be dipped." (Taste-test review: It tastes a lot like a simple teriyaki sauce to me -- fine, but I'd rather have sweet and sour.)

The sauce comes with a complicated backstory. Fans of Adult Swim's cult favorite animated show have been clamoring for McDonald's to bring back Szechuan dipping sauce since the discontinued dip got mentioned on the show in 2017. https://www.cnet.com/news/mcdonalds-szechuan-sauce-burns-rick-and-morty-fans-again/


[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Our country isn’t perfect but it’s the best we got. Unfortunately the toxic political climate we live in now is making things worse for residents and people looking to move here.

Tourism: A
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: C-
Liberal Appeal: C-

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

There is no next week! We’re finished! Done! Terminado! I want to once again thank all of our amazing hosts for this tour! You have been great! See you next time!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen we are ending our Black History Month celebration the right way! Playing the first new Parliament song in 40 years “I’m Gon Make You Sick O’ Me”, give it up for George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
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Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-7: 3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-7: 3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Join our Top 10 Rewards program today for exciting benefits and offers! Ah who am I kidding? I am not going to subject you to that shit! We already get enough of it. But I will give you free Top 10s just for repeat customers. Because unlike Trump, we care. We are back everybody. There's a lot of crazy things happening in the world - whether it's going on in the Olympics or it's Fergie butchering the national anthem. Hey conservatives that's how you disrespect the anthem - it's not by kneeling protests, it's by Fergie. But I really think we need to hold an intervention for Jay-Z guys. Either that or invite him to my next birthday party. So Jay-Z had an epic guys' night out in New York City to celebrate the birthday of his Roc Sports' cofounder Juan Perez. During the course of the night, Jay spent a little over $110,000 for 40 bottles of his own brand of crazy expensive champagne. I really got to find some way to market to rich people - Top 10 Conservative Idiots: gold covered, epic comedy news! Only $40,000 bucks a seat! Come on down to the UCB Theater in Hollywood today! We are elite! OK maybe I need to get a better advertising angle here. But let's go through the tab - he ran through 40 bottles of his "Ace Of Spades" champagne - which totaled $91,000. He even had a $50,000 bottle of Ace Of Spades Rose. Damn, that must have been one hell of a hangover the next morning! And speaking of celebrities and booze, one of our favorites - Ryan Reynolds - bought a gin company. Which is why I'm now extremely proud to introduce to you our own brand of Top 10 Conservative Idiots fortified wine! Yes, it's slightly cheaper than Thunderbird - and in fact we use the same bottle - and it will still get you a good buzz on while you wade through our madness of making fun of Trump and the Christian right every week! And we will sell it at Trump properties, by the way! In fact I have a bottle in front of me right now. Mmmmmmmmm... it's making my eyes water. Why I do believe it tastes like pure gasoline. Maybe slightly better than that. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he tears down Trump’s international relations:

Sigh… another week, another mass shooting. I hate to keep talking about guns but as long as they’re in the news, we got to. In the first slot is “Gun Nut Apologists”, and rather than our usual nonsense, we’re going to switch things up and play a game of Gun Nut Bingo! Taking the second slot is the NRA and yes they’ve finally gone off the deep end this week. Meanwhile in Washington, that guy who we still call president Donald J. Trump (3), spent his President’s Day weekend by trashing Hillary and literally politicizing a tragedy. In the fourth slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (4). So while he was having a bad week – possibly his worst yet so far – Mueller laid the smack down and indicted a bunch of Russian nationalists! The plot is thickening, folks! Taking the fifth slot this week is our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit (5). And this week, Pastor Initech is going to show you all the ways that the Christian right is reacting to the Florida shooting, and it will make your blood boil. In the sixth slot is a new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates”. This week – it turns out the paranoid are going to be right and your phone might actually be spying on you! At number 7, we have a new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and this week we’re going to talk about Infowars regular and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached, Jerome Corsi (7). At number 8 is also in the realm of Infowars and that is our old buddy Alex Jones (8). See if you can guess how Alex reacted to the Florida shooting, and the answer might shock you! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink”, and this week we’re going to get drunk and talk about a potentially epic crisis brewing affecting our good friends across the pond! Finally this week we’ve got the next to last installment of our Shithole World Tour 2018 and this is going to be a fun one as we’re going to be, as the Beatles would say – back in the USSR! Yes, we’re going to put Putin’s home country through our World Tour filter! Plus continuing our month long Black History Month celebration, we’ve got some live music for you from the one, the only Future! Yes, we’ve got the ATL representing this week! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
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Sigh………. Another week, another mass shooting. And the same bullshit about guns has been recycled so much that it’s become mulch at this point. But you know what? Fuck it. This week we’re going to do something a bit different. I hope that everyone got their BINGO cards that were being passed out at the door as you walk into the theater. And for those of you playing at home here’s the game that we will be using:

That comes courtesy of Mother Jones. So with that in mind, we’re going to get interactive here on the Top 10 and a game of Gun Nut Bingo going. Unfortunately I do not have any Top 10 swag to give away but the winner will get the smug sense of self satisfaction knowing they are smarter than your average gun nut! So what’s behind door #1?

Right-wing radio host, commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root complained on his radio show last night that while yesterday’s deadly mass shooting at a high school in Florida was tragic, the media was spending too much time covering it and ignoring the much more important story of a New York real estate developer who was fined millions of dollars for destroying graffiti on his property..


OK so who had… “N - politicizing a tragedy”? Everyone? Woohoo!!! Free space achieved! What’s next on the agenda? I know!

AWR Hawkins, a Second Amendment columnist for Breitbart News, told senior editor-at-large Rebecca Mansour that there was “simply not one” law that could have prevented or “even lessened the chance” of a mass shooting like yesterday’s Florida school shooting that killed 17 people.

Last night on “Breitbart News Tonight,” Hawkins shared his reaction to news that a 19-year-old man had entered a Florida high school yesterday and activated a fire alarm with the intention of shooting and killing as many people as possible. Breitbart hosts leveraged the fact the shooter had been expelled from the high school once for disciplinary problems in an attempt to absolve the gun lobby of responsibility for yet another mass shooting.

“I’ve watched and listened to the calls for gun control already and I’ve listened to those things and you take what you describe, and you take this scenario, and you have a student who had already been expelled so he’s not to be near the school or anything,” Hawkins said. “I can’t think of a gun control law that would have stopped this, and I’ve really tried to think of that today.”

OK now things are getting interesting! Who had “G - Legal argument from someone not smart enough to get into law school”? All right excellent! Now we’re getting somewhere! What’s behind door #3?

Three students at three separate high schools in North Texas were arrested for bringing guns to school the day after the deadly Parkland, Florida massacre that left at least 17 people dead.

The Dallas Morning News reported that students at North Texas’ Marcus, Plano West and South Garland high schools brought the firearms, and all three may face felony charges.

A 16-year-old at Marcus High in Flower Mound, TX was found with “an unloaded, small-caliber handgun and ammunition,” the Morning News reported. The South Garland student had an unloaded handgun, and the Plano West student also had a handgun.

None of the firearms were discharged, and there were no injuries after students reported all three students to their schools’ Crime Stoppers programs.

Hey, Nana is a bad ass, guys! Nana don’t take no shit! And she has zero fucks left to give! OK so who had… “O – Threat to kill you”? I’m getting… you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, and you sir? Great! Now what’s behind door #4?

Fox News host Brian Kilmeade argued on Monday that the way to prevent school shootings was for the Department of Education to be more like the Transportation and Security Agency (TSA), which is tasked with keeping firearms out of airports.

During a discussion about the Parkland school shooting on Fox & Friends, co-host Steve Doocy said that the lesson from the incident was that “unstable people should not have access to guns.”

“Something needs to happen from both sides to prevent bad people from doing bad things,” he remarked. “Who knows? Maybe something will be done to federal background checks because the way it’s working right now ain’t working.”

Co-host Ainsley Earhardt asserted that there needs to more armed security in schools.

Well fucking duh! Of course it ain’t working! But having a TSA everywhere definitely isn’t going to solve this shit! So who had… “B – A good guy with a gun could stop a bad guy with a gun”? You, you, you, you, you, you, and you! You ma’am? Great! Now what’s next?

Infowars-affiliated “investigative journalist” Laura Loomer has traveled to the site of last week’s mass shooting at a Florida high school, apparently trying to recreate her disinformation and conspiracy theory-filled “coverage” of the aftermath of the mass shooting in Las Vegas last year.

Loomer has been increasingly desperate for validation from her conservative media counterparts after her anti-Muslim Twitter meltdown and her effort to portray the FBI’s investigation into the Las Vegas mass shooting as a government cover-up caused some to distance themselves. So last week, when Infowars rolled out a combination of conspiracy theories about the Florida shooting, claiming that globalists ordered the shooting to cover up the FISA memo and insisting that the shooting was the “perfect false flag,” it provided an opportunity for Loomer to once again appear on the scene of a mass shooting and pull her signature stunt of harassing public officials with conspiracy theory nonsense.

On Saturday, Loomer landed in Florida and quickly got to work on behalf of Infowars, an outlet that holds to this day that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax. In a video uploaded yesterday for Infowars, Loomer shouted down Democratic Congressman Tom Deutch. On camera, Deutch told Loomer if she had “any respect for the human lives that were lost in my district” that she “wouldn’t come here” and that he would “never give an interview” to Infowars.

Yes, Laura, are you proud of yourself? So who had… “I – Guns don’t have minds of their own, you can’t blame them”? You, you, you, you, you, you, sir, and you ma’am. And then what’s behind this door? Ah, Fox News fans of course!

Fox News fans are sick and tired of seeing students at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School call for stronger gun laws.

In response to a Fox News tweet about students in Parkland, Florida rallying to demand change to gun laws in the United States, many pro-gun Fox fans lashed out at the students and said they didn’t know what they were talking about when it comes to guns, despite the fact that a gunman last week murdered 17 of their classmates with an AR-15-style rifle.

One of the most common themes among the Fox fans was that the students were being paid by a shadowy left-wing donor to speak out, while other commenters accused the students of swallowing too many Tide Pods.

Check out the angriest reactions below.

BINGO!!!!! Who had “I – you don’t understand my lifestyle”? Come on up here, sir, ma’am! You win our first ever Gun Nut Bingo!!! Bravo, take a bow!!!

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[font size="8"]The NRA
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Whew!!! That was fun everybody! Now back to serious shit. Yeah it sucks. Yeah it sucks to become numb to this fucking bullshit. God damn the NRA. It’s like when something like this happens, I almost don’t want to do a Top 10. But I remember the original Top 10 happened in response so I could trash the NRA’s response to multiple mass shootings. It’s been 2 fucking years!!! And nothing has changed. Not a god damn thing. And it doesn’t help that we have Orange Douche in the White House. It sucks that we live in an America where this happens!

LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — A Kansas congressional hopeful does not plan to stop a raffle for an AR-15 rifle, even though it’s the type of weapon authorities said was used in the mass shooting at a Florida high school.

Republican Tyler Tannahill, a candidate in Kansas’ 2nd Congressional District, announced the raffle to support his campaign on Tuesday, a day before 17 people were killed in the Florida shooting. He told the Kansas City Star hours after the shooting that the raffle would continue, noting it was planned a month ago to coincide with the Kansas Republican Convention this weekend in Wichita.

Tannahill, a Marine veteran from Leavenworth, is among several people in the GOP primary race to replace US Rep. Lynn Jenkins, who is not seeking re-election. He said the raffle was intended to show his support for the Second Amendment.

Yes, you’re definitely not helping. Wait, sir, we’re not playing Bingo anymore. But I would have accepted “B – Second Amendment!!!1!1” for this story! And he’s not the only one! Remember back in the first season of the Top 10 about an AR-15 raffle (see: Idiots #31 )? Well this isn’t the first time. This country has a gun addiction. And then this happens in Missouri! Well, it’s Missouri.

Third-graders in a Missouri community are continuing to sell raffle tickets for an AR-15 to benefit their traveling baseball team after the same type of rifle was used to slaughter and injure dozens at a Florida school.

Levi Patterson, the coach of a 9-and-under baseball team in Neosho, Mo., told The Star the idea was conceived before the shooting in Parkland, Fla. A father of one of the players — who co-founded Black Rain Ordnance Inc., a weapons purveyor in Neosho — offered the weapon for the raffle.

Patterson said by phone Saturday that he considered finding a different raffle item after Wednesday’s mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, but ultimately decided to “turn it into a positive thing” after “getting the hate.”

“One of the people from the hate group turned in (a Facebook post about the raffle) for I don’t know what,” Patterson said. The post had shown a weapon next to the school logo, leading to fierce criticism by some until Facebook removed the post, according to Patterson.


How do you make fun of this shit? I mean I could joke “if only there were a good guy with a baseball bat present”, but you really can’t do that. And you can’t blame Tide Pods for this like that one asshole did earlier. The only thing to blame is the gun, and people using it. Would you be surprised that Florida’s own governor got an A+ rating from the NRA?

As a candidate for re-election four years ago, Florida Gov. Rick Scott won an A+ rating from the National Rifle Association for his record on guns.

A 2014 mailer from NRA's national headquarters told Florida voters that "Scott will stop the gun control extremists from pushing their agenda to restrict your rights in Florida."

Only Scott "will protect your rights from the Obama/(Michael) Bloomberg gun control agenda," said the mailer, which featured a photo of a smiling Scott and a big "A+."

That June, Scott signed five pro-gun bills into law in what the NRA called historic.

One bill fast-tracked applications for concealed weapons licenses; another, the so-called "Pop-Tart" bill, protected students from being punished if they fashioned pastry or other foods into fake weapons, "to avoid traumatizing innocent children," the NRA's mailer said.

This guy even allows fake guns to be protected! Yes, it’s OK to make a gun out of a Pop Tart, it’s legal in Florida! But there is some good news to come out of the shooting is that they pissed off the wrong students! I am loving the reaction to the NRA from these kids.

A student who survived the Florida school shooting on Monday shared a message for the National Rifle Association (NRA), calling for it to "disband."

During an interview on CNN, students were asked what they would say to the NRA.

"Disband, dismantle ... don't make another organization under a different name. Don't you dare come back here," Emma Gonzalez said on CNN.

"The fact that you were in power for so long and that you had so much influence for so long in America just goes to show how much time and effort we still need to spend on fixing our country."

And did anyone see that movie 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri? This movie centers around a real life murder. And someone decided to recreate this last weekend. Let’s call it “3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida”. :

The placards take inspiration from the Academy Award-nominated film "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" about a mother who uses roadside advertisements to criticize local authorities' handling of her daughter's brutal rape and murder.

Global activist group Avaaz is behind the protest intended to criticize Florida's "notoriously lax gun laws" and Rubio's response to the Thursday shooting at a school in Broward County, Fl., the organization said in a press release. Avaaz cited widely circulated figures that claim Rubio has accepted $3.3 million in donations from the N.R.A. SFGATE has not independently verified those numbers.

Rubio said Thursday that gun control laws would not have prevented the mass shooting.

Oh and by the way, if this doesn’t make your blood boil, nothing will!

Shares of gun manufacturer American Outdoor Brands, the parent company of Smith & Wesson, closed higher on Thursday following the tragic shooting at a high school in Florida.

The company's stock rose 1.2 percent and rose as much as 4.5 percent. Sturm Ruger briefly gained 2.8 percent before closing 0.2 percent lower.

The Broward County Sheriff's Office said 17 people were gunned down Wednesday at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. The shooter, identified as 19-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz, was booked on 17 counts of premeditated murder Thursday. He allegedly used an AR-15 assault rifle in the rampage.

Shares of Sturm Ruger and American Outdoor Brands rallied Wednesday afternoon as news of the shooting spread. The stocks closed Wednesday 2.8 percent and 5.6 percent higher, respectively.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And then of course Trump’s idiot son Qusay certainly didn’t help things in regard to the Florida shooting:

Donald Trump Jr. touted a post on a fringe, right-wing conspiracy website early Tuesday morning that slammed a high school student and survivor of the Florida school shooting — even suggesting the teen is an FBI plant.

The president’s adult son, who spends so much time on Twitter it is astounding he’s able to keep the Trump Organization afloat, liked a tweet from website TruePundit.com early Tuesday morning, which linked to an article bearing the headline: “VIDEO: Outspoken Trump-Hating School Shooting Survivor is Son of FBI Agent; MSM Helps Prop Up Incompetent Bureau.”

The story bashes David Hogg, a student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, where a gunman opened fire last week, killing 17.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know what people? Let’s lighten up. This is a comedy show. Let’s do comedy things. This is the 45th president of the United States in a nutshell. Hey, Trump! You’re the president! Be presidential! Lead your country in a time of national tragedy! Oh fuck it, who am I kidding? This is the 45th president of the United States we’re talking about here, would you expect that from him at this point? So this was his agenda last Saturday.

President Donald Trump met with survivors of the Parkland, Florida high school shooting on Friday, before heading to his Mar-a-Lago resort for a disco-themed party.

Trump met with survivors of Wednesday’s mass shooting at Broward Health North hospital in Pompano Beach with his wife Melania. They also stopped at the Broward County Sheriff’s Office.

“I did indeed,” Trump told reporters when asked if he met with any of the seven victims hospitalized. “It’s very sad that something like that could happen.”

CNN’s Kevin Liptak reported that after the hospital visit, Trump attended a Studio 54-themed party at Mar-a-Lago:

I'm not sure what's more horrifying - Trump using the victims of the Parkland shooting for a photo op, or the thought of him dancing to "Hot Stuff"? And I mean take it from astronaut Mark Whatney – that’s the least disco song there is! So that happened. And how did Trump respond to the Florida shooting? Well in the most Donald J. Trump way possible. Can we throw that tweet up there?


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So that’s how Trump responds – by attacking the FBI for not doing enough!

Washington (CNN)Students who survived the Parkland, Florida, shooting laid into President Donald Trump after he linked the FBI's failure to follow up on a report about the school shooter and the resources expended on the Russia investigation.
On Saturday, Trump tweeted, "Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign - there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!"
The President's tweet caused considerable outrage online, including among apparent survivors of the shooting:
"17 of my classmates are gone. That's 17 futures, 17 children, and 17 friends stolen. But you're right, it always has to be about you. How silly of me to forget. #neveragain"

That was just about the least presidential way Trump could act. And I mean would you expect anything less from him at this point? I know I wouldn’t . After all he’s the president who gave us this:


Which leads me into how he celebrated President’s Day – which as you know is our new national day of mourning when we used to have competent leaders. I miss those times.

Donald Trump didn’t have any control over the decision by Russia’s Internet Research Agency to mount what it called “information warfare against the United States of America.” As the indictment released on Friday stated, the effort began in 2014, long before Trump was a declared candidate—much less a serious one—for office.

But by refusing to take information warfare seriously—in an attempt to distance himself from it and any questions it might raise about the legitimacy of his election—the president has paradoxically made the story about himself again and again.

This solipsism was on display Saturday and Sunday morning, as Trump, at Mar-a-Lago and far from the strictures and structures of the White House, unleashed his most aggressive and scattered tweetstorm in some time. In theory, the things he said were designed to push the story away from himself and downplay any connection. In practice, he forced himself into the middle of the story, inextricably linking himself to it.

Yeah as my British friends would say – bugger off! I mean Trump’s tweets are so bad that the rest of the world is literally telling its’ leaders to ignore them:

President Donald Trump’s tweets not only trigger worries at home. They rattle leaders around the world.

But U.S. officials reportedly tried to reassure global policy representatives at an international conference in Germany over the weekend, urging them to pay no attention to the president’s Twitter rants.

The U.S. actually is angry with the Kremlin over interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election, despite Trump’s Twitter denials, American politicians and officials told foreign policy leaders in Munich, The Washington Post reported. America also remains firmly committed to Europe. And, to be clear, the U.S. doesn’t plan on dropping a nuclear bomb on North Korea, the U.S. leaders said.

“The values are the same, the relationships are the same,” insisted Rep. Michael Turner (R-Ohio), the Post reported.

German Foreign Minister Sigmar Gabriel said Saturday he no idea how to judge U.S. intentions. “Is it deeds? Is it words? Is it tweets?” he asked.

The disconnect between Trump’s tweets and U.S. government leaders often has been apparent.

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/u-officials-tell-world-leaders-123104774.html

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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President’s Day. That day where you remember presidents by getting great discounts on mattresses and appliances. Well, when we used to have competent presidents anyways. And now we’re stuck with the asshole we currently call “president”. The division in this country right now is so deep that there’s actually a dating website for Trump supporters. And would you be surprised that the featured user has a sex offender conviction? Well, neither are we!

In the last few days, you might’ve heard about Trump.dating, the new straight-people-only online service to help out Donald Trump fans who are single and ready to mingle. For the last few days, the site prominently featured the North Carolina conservative activists you see in the picture above: William Barrett Riddleberger and his wife Jodi Riddleberger.

However, the site has a new featured couple now, and that may or may not have something to do with the fact that Mr. Riddleberger is a convicted felon.

WRAL News reported that Mr. Riddleberger’s state records show he was charged in 1995 for videotaping himself having sex with a 15-year-old girl. Riddleberger was 25 at the time, and he was convicted of taking indecent liberties with a child.

So that happened! While on the subject of President’s Day, remember when presidents used to do presidential things like address the nation with uplifting and inspiring messages in times of crisis? Yeah those were good times, and instead we get this:


Yup – blame the other guy for not doing anything. And let’s face it – it is Donald J. Trump we’re talking about here, would you expect anything less? I wouldn’t. So here’s what he was referring to – on Friday Mueller laid the smack down!

Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his prosecutors haven’t concluded their investigation into whether President Donald Trump or any of his associates helped Russia interfere in the 2016 election, according to a person with knowledge of the probe.

Friday’s indictment of a St. Petersburg-based “troll farm” and 13 Russian nationals should be seen as a limited slice of a comprehensive investigation, the person said. Mueller’s work is expected to continue for months and also includes examining potential obstruction of justice by Trump, said the person, who requested anonymity to discuss an investigation that is largely confidential.

A federal grand jury indicted the Russians for what it alleged was a vast scheme to interfere in the 2016 election and help Trump win. But Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein said at a news conference Friday that there is “no allegation in this indictment that any American was a knowing participant” in the alleged scheme.

Trump indicated that he believes the indictment exonerates him and his campaign.

Read more: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-02-16/mueller-is-said-to-still-be-investigating-collusion-with-russia

But of course Trump immediately goes to “no collusion”. It’s like he’s a parrot. Wait! Our emotional support parrot Trumpy is here and he’s learned a new phrase!

Yay Trumpy!!! And give it up for Trumpy’s trainer everybody! So Trump is desperate and he’s reaching new levels of evil. But there’s another angle in Mueller’s investigation – a company calling itself the “Internet Research Agency” is something he is looking at.

Justice Department special counsel Robert Mueller prefers to let his work do the talking for him. On Friday, he delivered a stemwinder.

Thirteen Russians and three Russian entities were indicted by a federal grand jury in connection with the attack on the 2016 election. The indictment lays out a number of detailed allegations against the Internet Research Agency located in St. Petersburg and against individuals who owned, controlled, funded or worked for the organization.

Much of what Mueller's office charges — that influence-mongers used Facebook and Twitter to turn up the volume and pit American against American — was already public. But the 37-page indictment also includes a number of fascinating new insights.


Damn straight!!! And come on, there’s no good organizations that have the letters “IRA” as its’ initials right? But the noose is tightening on Trump and his election stealing shenanigans. He’s also taking a look at Jared Kushner again:

Washington (CNN)Special counsel Robert Mueller's interest in Jared Kushner has expanded beyond his contacts with Russia and now includes his efforts to secure financing for his company from foreign investors during the presidential transition, according to people familiar with the inquiry.

This is the first indication that Mueller is exploring Kushner's discussions with potential non-Russian foreign investors, including in China.

US officials briefed on the probe had told CNN in May that points of focus related to Kushner, the White House senior adviser and son-in-law of President Donald Trump, included the Trump campaign's 2016 data analytics operation, his relationship with former national security adviser Michael Flynn, and Kushner's own contacts with Russians.

Mueller's investigators have been asking questions, including during interviews in January and February, about Kushner's conversations during the transition to shore up financing for 666 Fifth Avenue, a Kushner Companies-backed New York City office building reeling from financial troubles, according to people familiar with the special counsel investigation.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/19/politics/mueller-investigation-kushner-foreign-financing-efforts/index.html?sr=twCNN021918mueller-investigation-kushner-foreign-financing-efforts0402PMVODtop

Tastes great and less filling! And Kushner isn’t the only one – Manafort is also on Mueller’s radar for pulling some insane bank fraud:

Special counsel Robert Mueller’s office has told a federal judge it has found evidence that Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign chairman, committed bank fraud not addressed by the indictment last October in which he was charged with money laundering and failure to register as a foreign agent.

As legal wrangling continues over a $10 million bail package for Manafort, prosecutors this week accused him of submitting false information to a bank in connection with one of his mortgages.

“The proposed package is deficient in the government’s view, in light of additional criminal conduct that we have learned since the Court’s initial bail determination,” prosecutors wrote in a court filing submitted on Tuesday and made public in a redacted form on Friday evening. “That criminal conduct includes a series of bank frauds and bank fraud conspiracies.”

No criminal charges are known to have been filed over the alleged fraud, and Mueller’s office does not say in the filing whether it intends to bring any.

Read more: https://www.politico.com/story/2018/02/16/mueller-manafort-bank-fraud-accusations-416509

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes friends! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened, and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

Unfortunately this last week is yet another week that ended in tragedy. Although unlike our current president, I will make the most of trying to comfort in this time of need. But not before trashing our brothers and sisters in the Christian right, for their behavior is inexcusable in the eyes of our almighty creator! Like for instance, take this man, Carl Gallup!

Carl Gallups, a right-wing pastor and conspiracy theorist who spoke at Trump campaign rallies in 2016, appeared on TheDove TV’s “Focus Today” program yesterday to discuss the mass shooting at a Florida high school earlier this week, which he said was part of a demonic attack aimed at weakening America through gun control in preparation for the rise of the Antichrist.

“This has it’s origins in the spiritual realms,” he said. “There is a concerted demonic attempt to undermine the United States of America, to bring it down, to destroy the most precious among us. Why is that such a demonic attempt? Because we know the scriptures say that there will arise a generation that will see this Antichrist system, this one-world order … The bottom line is we are headed that way.”

“The United States is the largest Christian nation the planet has ever seen,” Gallups continued. “It’s the number one military superpower, it’s the number one economic superpower and so there is a demonic attempt to destroy it, to bring it down, to break the culture into some kind of submission. One of those ways is to take away our ability to defend ourselves, so every time something like this happens, the leftists start screaming—you can almost hear it from the pits of hell—’Take away all the guns, take away all the guns.’ That’s not the solution and we all know it’s not and we know why, but we hear that, so this is very spiritual, it’s very deep, it’s very dark.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So apparently the banning of guns will lead to the anti-Christ! I mean really, isn’t killing people one of the original SINS!!! And it is most definitely a sin in the eyes of our Lord JAYSUS! Can I get an amen???? But there apparently be no greater SIN than the SIN of not being masculine enough, because if there's one thing that the Christian right loves, it's the Rambo franchise!

Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire has been anything but shy about criticizing the male students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, for not acting like “real men” and tackling a shooter who opened fire on the school last week with an assault rifle, killing 12 students and five faculty members.

Daubenmire returned to this theme on his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning, fuming that male students today are not being taught the virtues and responsibilities of masculinity.

“This will sound horrible, but I have to say it,” Daubenmire stated. “Instead of the aftermath of these shootings in Florida being, ‘Hey, dude,’ where young guys are saying to each other, ‘I’m gonna learn to fire a gun, I ain’t ever gonna let this happen again, I’m gonna learn to fire a gun,’ instead the reaction is, ‘Oh, please take the guns away.’ The exact opposite message! Meet power with power! That’s manhood, masculinity!

“We don’t even teach it, we have no concept of it,” Daubenmire lamented, adding that “guys like us who really get it” are ridiculed by people like Howard Stern and organizations like Right Wing Watch.

“Most guys don’t have the stones to stand up and say, ‘I don’t care what you say!'” Daubenmire screamed. “‘It don’t bother me! Here’s what I think! Suck on that one, bud!'”

After Daubenmire fumed that the fear of offending others is “so womanly,” one of the participants in the livestream piped up to share his theory that most men today display a lack masculinity because “they just want to sleep with the women.”

“Boys, your life would be a lot easier if you’d quit letting your peter rule your life,” stated Daubenmire. “I shouldn’t have said that either, and I’m not sorry.”

Yes, David, run into the gun fire! What a great idea! What could possibly go wrong? But of course I now ask my fair congregation – you know why the demons with guns are let loose in the school system? You know why? Take a guess!

Right-wing pastor Rick Joyner posted a video on Facebook today in which he blamed yesterday’s mass shooting at a high school in Florida on the removal of prayer from public schools and declared that only the church is equipped to close the “gate of hell” and make this nation “completely free” of these kinds of attacks.

“There is good spiritual evidence that the Columbine shooting in Colorado years ago opened a gate of hell into our country,” he said. “Gates of hell are access points, they are doorways through which hell gains access to our lives, our families, our churches, our communities. In this case, I think it has been the whole country … When there has been a breakthrough of hell into society, only the church has the spiritual authority to shut that gate of hell.”

“When prayer was removed from our schools, I believe that was the beginning of the gate of hell, many gates of hell, that are destroying our youth, our families,” Joyner continued. “That had provided a hedge of protection for our students … When prayer was removed from school, we basically said, ‘God, we don’t want you in our schools.’ He said, ‘OK.'”

Really guys? Our JAYSUS wouldn’t do that! Because our god is a just and loving god and he punishes all sinners. It sayeth so in the Good Book! Can I get an amen??? But apparently this mass of murders happened because we liberals don’t worship JAYSUS enough! And blasphemy is a sin in our Good Book!

Gateway Pundit’s White House correspondent Lucian Wintrich blamed yesterday’s school shooting that killed 17 people in Florida on liberals who have “demonized” the church in favor of “fringe ways of thinking.”

Wintrich appeared yesterday alongside his co-host Ali Akbar, an activist within the self-labeled “New Right” movement, for an episode of “Wintrich Report” dedicated to the school shooting in Florida earlier that day, Akbar’s conversation with Twitter’s CEO about alleged censorship of conservatives, and a careless reporting error Wintrich made earlier that evening. While discussing the shooting, Akbar said that the mass shooting was a sign that “something is wrong in society,” which prompted Wintrich to launch into a tangent about the church.

“Part of it is the lack of community and the lack of the role of the church in modern American society. And I think that the way the left has disparaged that, what they’ve done—and it infuriates me what the left has done these days—is they have demonized Christianity, the church, Jesus Christ, who if you read his teachings, right, it was ‘We’re all brothers. Look out for one another.’ The left has demonized that and then propelled these fringe ways of thinking,” Wintrich said.

Wait until he sees this program! And no, dipshit we’re just demonizing *YOU*. So get over it and move on. For the good LAWRD sayeth “He who doth commit the sin of lying must be punished, for it is the most egregious of sins!!!” it sayeth so in the good book of Blame 6. Yes, our book has both 69 and 420 in it! We are encouraged to do both! But before we go this week, keep this in mind as you celebrate President’s Day – Trump has made America say “Merry Christmas” again! That’s how you spit in the face of tragedy!

Religious Right political operative Ralph Reed urged supporters of his Faith and Freedom Coalition to mark Presidents’ Day by “thanking President Trump for all he’s done for our nation and for the American people.”

Reed’s email gushed that Trump “has proven, time and time again, that he’s a fearless champion for conservative values,” praising Trump’s support for the Republican tax bill and his administration’s zeal in rolling back regulations.

Reed praised Trump as “a tireless advocate for Christian values,” writing, “From the onset, President Trump promised to make America say ‘Merry Christmas’ again—and fight back against anti-Christian bigotry.” Reed also celebrated Trump for addressing the anti-abortion-rights March for Life and supporting legislation to ban abortions after 20 weeks.

Yes and the LAWRD was truly speechless on this one! Now go forth with the knowledge of how the religious handle tragedies! Next week we will show you how they bend thy rules. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! Or pieces depending on if your church supports thy shotgun or not! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Smart Device Spying
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We now present to you the best in text-based armchair investigative journalism. It’s now time for a new installment of:

Smartphones. You have one. At times they are the best invention of the modern era, and at times they are also the worst invention of the modern era. And for those of you lucky enough to be able to afford and use a current Android or iOS device, you most likely don’t have to worry about this next subject. But for those of you who can’t afford one, you most likely have a phone from Chinese budget brands Huawei and ZTE.

Six top U.S. intelligence chiefs told the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday they would not advise Americans to use products or services from Chinese smartphone maker Huawei.

The six — including the heads of the CIA, FBI, NSA and the director of national intelligence — first expressed their distrust of Apple-rival Huawei and fellow Chinese telecom company ZTE in reference to public servants and state agencies.

When prompted during the hearing, all six indicated they would not recommend private citizens use products from the Chinese companies.

"We're deeply concerned about the risks of allowing any company or entity that is beholden to foreign governments that don't share our values to gain positions of power inside our telecommunications networks," FBI Director Chris Wray testified.

"That provides the capacity to exert pressure or control over our telecommunications infrastructure," Wray said. "It provides the capacity to maliciously modify or steal information. And it provides the capacity to conduct undetected espionage."

But for the truly paranoid it might not be just limited to those brands. In fact you may have one of those smart devices in your home from Google, Amazon, and now Apple. There’s even another method to their madness, and sometimes the truly paranoid might actually be right!

In December, I converted my one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco into a “smart home.” I connected as many of my appliances and belongings as I could to the internet: an Amazon Echo, my lights, my coffee maker, my baby monitor, my kid’s toys, my vacuum, my TV, my toothbrush, a photo frame, a sex toy, and even my bed.

“Our bed?” asked my husband, aghast. “What can it tell us?”

“Our breathing rate, heart rate, how often we toss and turn, and then it will give us a sleep report each morning,” I explained.

“Sounds creepy,” he said, as he plopped down on that bed, not bothered enough to relax instead on our non-internet-connected couch.

I soon discovered that the only thing worse than getting a bad night’s sleep is to subsequently get a report from my bed telling me I got a low score and “missed my sleep goal.” Thanks, smart bed, but I know that already. I feel like shit.

Yes, WTF LOL indeed. So keep this in mind the next time you’re looking for a bargain based smartphone or any smart device. But it’s not just limited to Huawei and ZTE phones. In fact all of your phones and devices might be spying on you.

Consider everything your smartphone has done for you today. Counted your steps? Deposited a check? Transcribed notes? Navigated you somewhere new?

Smartphones make for such versatile pocket assistants because they’re equipped with a suite of sensors, including some we may never think — or even know — about, sensing, for example, light, humidity, pressure and temperature.

Because smartphones have become essential companions, those sensors probably stayed close by throughout your day: the car cup holder, your desk, the dinner table and nightstand. If you’re like the vast majority of American smartphone users, the phone’s screen may have been black, but the device was probably on the whole time.

“Sensors are finding their ways into every corner of our lives,” says Maryam Mehrnezhad, a computer scientist at Newcastle University in England. That’s a good thing when phones are using their observational dexterity to do our bidding. But the plethora of highly personal information that smartphones are privy to also makes them powerful potential spies.

That’s probably the only safe way to talk on the phone these days. Who needs spies when you have smart devices? But it might not just be your smartphone – it might be other smart devices! Your vacuum cleaner!

“Consumers need to be aware of these features and aware of the possibilities that can happen with those features installed on their devices,” said technology expert Burton Kelso.

Kelso said it’s just one more “smart device” that is collecting information about you.

“That will target you with ads that are geared towards your lifestyle or your house size. But at this base, it’s really designed to help the Roomba do a better job of vacuuming,” Kelso said.

iRobot is conscious of the security and privacy concerns that the new camera and connectivity may introduce.

“Right now, the information Roomba collects enables it to effectively clean the home and provides customers with information about cleaning performances. iRobot believes that in the future, this information could provide even more value for our customers by enabling the smart home and the devices within it to work better, but always with their explicit consent,” said a representative from iRobot.

Yes, it does seem a little crazy indeed. How about your smart medical devices?

Abilify is the first FDA-approved pill with a tracking mechanism, but it's hardly the first medical entry in the Internet of Things. Medical devices such as insulin pumps, pacemakers, and CPAP breathing devices can all be enabled to report data back to users and medical professionals alike. Given the high-stakes nature of the first two, where insulin use and regulating heartbeats can literally be life-saving, these technological changes make sense on the surface. There have been some problems, though. First, all Internet-enabled tech can be hacked. Last fall, the FDA recalled 500,000 Internet-connected pacemakers over security concerns. Medical device giant Johnson & Johnson warned consumers that its insulin pumps could be hacked. The idea of someone turning off your heart by hacking is the scary stuff of science fiction, and might well be a real threat.

Yes, probably. What about your TV?

Consumer Reports has found that millions of smart TVs can be controlled by hackers exploiting easy-to-find security flaws.

The problems affect Samsung televisions, along with models made by TCL and other brands that use the Roku TV smart-TV platform, as well as streaming devices such as the Roku Ultra.

We found that a relatively unsophisticated hacker could change channels, play offensive content, or crank up the volume, which might be deeply unsettling to someone who didn’t understand what was happening. This could be done over the web, from thousands of miles away. (These vulnerabilities would not allow a hacker to spy on the user or steal information.)

Again, yes, probably. But while we are pointing out security devices in all the smart products you own, we should point out that the beef between the US government and Huawei might have an ulterior motive.

Huawei is the third largest smartphone manufacturer in the world behind Samsung and Apple. It is also the ninth largest technology company (by revenue) worldwide with 180,000 employees and an average annual revenue of $78.8 billion. In other words, Huawei is as "big" a company as Microsoft. That's good news for Huawei, and usually seeing a company move up the ladder to challenge the market leaders is good for consumers, too. Officially, Huawei is a subsidiary of Huawei Investment & Holding Co., Ltd. in Shenzhen, China and that's where the real issues the U.S. has with Huawei start.

Unofficially, everyone thinks the Chinese government is in control of Huawei. While I'm not an expert on foreign affairs or the history of the Chinese Communist Party, I am smart enough to know that the Chinese state surely does have a financial interest in one of the biggest companies inside its border. The chance that the state has a controlling interest in Huawei doesn't surprise me, either. There has been no evidence offered, and not surprisingly there isn't much on the public record to clear things up, so we have to assume that it could be true. Intelligence agencies, as well as economic agencies and trade officials, have a problem with this. A big problem for several key reasons.

There you have it. The US government’s beef with Huawei is based on an urban legend. But that doesn’t excuse the spying. Until next time, that is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Jerome Corsi
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It’s now time for:

This week’s “This Fucking Guy” award goes to Infowars regular and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached to his head, Jerome Corsi. You might know Corsi best for appearing along side Alex Jones and saying things more batshit than he does! In case you’re wondering about the kind of Grade A, USDA certified bullshit that Corsi puts out on a daily basis, here’s some of his greatest hits. And this is just for the last couple of weeks!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, has recently dedicated himself to decoding the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known as “QAnon” and their supposed relevance to the fringe right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that the special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Over the weekend, Corsi posted a video in which he claimed that the recent disappearance of Sean Hannity’s Twitter account was the work of the “deep state,” which was trying to conceal a coded message that Hannity was sending that would have revealed that Trump is about to launch a “counterattack” against those who have been working to undermine his presidency.

On Sunday, Hannity’s Twitter account sent out a mysterious message that said simply “Form Submission 1649” before the account disappeared. It was restored a few hours later, but Corsi, relying on posts from QAnon, said that Hannity’s final message actually carried a secret message.

“What 1649 is, that is the year in which Charles I in Great Britain was beheaded in a treasonous plot,” Corsi said. “Those posts that were coming out from Hannity were suggesting that we are moving into a phase in which it is going to be more clearly said that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were involved in treason.”

So let me get this straight. Hannity is receiving intel from QAnon – an anonymous twitter troll, who then repeats it back on Fox News, and then Hannity says it on air with the hope that Trump is watching and then it shows up in Trump’s daily twitter toilet tantrums. It’s a bullshit to bullshit pipeline! Thank you audience! But that isn’t the only batshit crazy thing Corsi has said lately. Let’s go through some of his greatest hits. I mean come on, Adam Schiff is being targeted because he’s in that super secret pedophile cabal that they’re always talking about. I didn’t know that!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, returned to the “Lionel Nation” program today to discuss his latest effort to “decode” the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known only as “Q,” which he claimed reveal that Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff may be being blackmailed over alleged involvement in pedophilia.

Corsi has recently dedicated himself full-time to covering the cryptic postings of an anonymous 8Chan forum board poster known as “Q,” whom some right-wing activists believe to be a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even President Trump himself. Q’s posts are at the center of a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Relying on recent posts from Q, Corsi attempted to tie Schiff, the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee and leading critic of a recently released memo regarding surveillance of a Trump campaign adviser, to the sprawling conspiracy theory. Corsi alleged that Schiff had ties to three people who died in a recent helicopter crash, all of whom were “associated with the Standard Hotel, a trendy, gay-friendly hotel located in Schiff’s district in West Hollywood, California.” Offering absolutely no evidence to substantiate anything he said, Corsi reported that “a pedophilia ring” was being run out of this hotel and now “you’ve got Schiff being involved, perhaps, with blackmail, there is possibly pedophilia, all of which has been suggested by QAnon as the subject of research.”

Quick! To the pedo mobile!

Thank you sound effects guy! We can’t make fun of the right wing enough for this shit because they deserve it every time they bring up “rampant pedophilia”. And then there was this.

Last week, Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, appeared on “Lionel Nation” to discuss his efforts to decode the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known only as “Q” and their supposed relevance to the coming “storm.”

As we have noted before, Corsi, who was behind the bogus “Swift Boat” attacks on John Kerry and the equally bogus birther attacks on Barack Obama, has recently become obsessed with “The Storm,” a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory alleging that the special counsel investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Those who traffic in this conspiracy theory rely almost entirely on 8chan forum board posts penned by a figure known only as “Q,” whom they believe is actually a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even Trump himself. The cryptic warnings and messages posted by Q, Corsi stated, are designed to prepare Americans for the horrible truth that is soon to be revealed once Trump unleashes a wave of arrests.

Think of it like playing a really fucked up game of “Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon”. Except there’s just one degree and Kevin Bacon is a satanic pedophile. You know one of these days I want to do an all “THIS IS WHAT INFOWARS REALLY BELIEVES IN” edition. Because they believe in some fucked up shit. Like you know Infowars loves them some false flags. Remember the GOP train attack? False flag!

Jerome Corsi, the crackpot conspiracy theorist who works as a “journalist” for the right-wing website Infowars, participated in a livestream on YouTube this morning in which he asserted that an accident yesterday in which a train carrying dozens of Republican members of Congress collided with a garbage truck was really an ISIS “sleeper cell” attack.

According to Corsi, the government had shut down every road that intersected with the route the train was traveling and that the train itself was being escorted by an Apache attack helicopter, which spotted a truck racing alongside the tracks, accelerating in order to “try to calculate the timing to hit the train” and derail it.

“There were three guys in the cab, we don’t know their names, we don’t know who they were,” Corsi said. “We are getting zero information out about this at all. This was clearly an activating sleeper cells attack that failed, done by amateurs who we are going to later find out probably had affiliation with ISIS or whatever.”

Or how about that Russian plane crash last week? Guess what? False flag!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, appeared on “The Alex Jones Show” yesterday to discuss the crash of an airplane in Russia in which 71 people were killed. Corsi asserted that the crash was really the result of a bomb planted by the CIA to kill executives of the Russian energy corporation Rosatom in order to cover up the Uranium One “scandal.”

Rosatom is at the center of the bogus Uranium One right-wing conspiracy theory and Corsi declared that this plane crash was really “a CIA hit” to kill company executives in order to prevent them from testifying against Hillary Clinton, despite the fact that there is no evidence to support his claim that any executives from Rosatom were even on the plane in question.

“It turns out on the plane crash, there were several executives of Rosatom, which is the Russian energy agency that is involved in the Uranium One deal,” Corsi said. “There were several executives actually on board of this airplane. One of the top ones was a gentleman named Ivanov, who ended up being the CFO of Rosatom. This is the agency that has been involved in the whole Uranium One deal.”

Come on, even Steve Harvey thinks you’re crazy! So we have satanic pedophiles, false flags, and cover ups. That’s Jerome Corsi, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
[br] [/font]

Fuck, just once I was hoping I wouldn’t have to talk about Alex Jones and his stupid show. What? I don’t want to! Make me! OK, fine, Carlos. I will. What? You can’t prove it! That’s Carlos, our producer, everybody! Well, anyway, Alex Jones called the latest school shooting a “false flag”. Which should come as a shock to, um, absolutely no one. Especially followers of this program. Aurora? False flag. Sandy Hook? False flag. Orlando? False flag. San Bernardino? False flag. And now Parkland? False flag.

Alex Jones, the nutritional supplement salesman leading Infowars, claimed the school shooting in Florida yesterday proved his prediction that globalists would orchestrate a mass causality after the release of the House Intelligence Committee’s FISA memo

Today on “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones spent much of his time outlining his elaborate multi-shooter, false-flag conspiracy theories about yesterday’s horrific mass murder at a Florida high school.

Jones claimed that he had predicted “more than 10 times on air” that a “new Oklahoma City attack on a church, a school, or a federal building blamed on right-wing terrorists” would happen in the United States after Rep. Adam Schiff warned that releasing Rep. Devin Nunes’ widely hyped (and later panned) memo could pose an increased risk of domestic terrorism in the United States.

Yes he is fucking crazy. Really, Alex? All of these shootings are false flags? Tell me more! Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the most hair-brained thing he’s cooked up lately. He’s in some deep paranoia about the “deep state”.

This afternoon, the Dow Jones industrial average suffered a dramatic drop while President Trump delivered a speech about the economy. Naturally, Infowars conspiracy theorist Alex Jones blamed today’s sudden Dow drop on what he believes is an ongoing war between President Trump and the secret “deep state” society that supposedly controls the nation.

“This is a big, big deal and again, this is economic warfare, undoubtedly, against this president,” Jones said. “They’ve been trying as hard as they can. There he is touring the country, getting thousands of factories back, and now this happens. You better believe something this big is meant to embarrass him on his big economic tour he’s involved in.”

Doug Hagmann, who was sitting in to take over the radio hour, agreed with Jones and claimed the stock market plunge was “blowback by the deep state.”

Normally I don’t like showing the clips but we got to show this one because it’s exquisite:

INVEST IN OUR INFOWARS BRAND TACTICAL CURRENCY! IT NEVER DROPS AND YOU’LL NEVER BE BROKE!!!! We got to keep this operation afloat here people! Well, anyway, back to the Florida shooting, while the rest of America was shocked and horrified at the events of what happened, Alex got a gun and he was showing it off.

InfoWars' Alex Jones (left) and his "snowflake" gun (right). Images via screengrab and Twitter.
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In the midst of a deadly school shooting in Parkland, Florida, InfoWars host Alex Jones tweeted two close-up photos of a gun etched with epithets about “snowflakes,” “unicorns” and “libturds.” It was accompanied only by a heart-eyes emoji.

It took almost no time for Twitter to pick up on the terrible timing of Jones’ post.

“The Sandy Hook truther decided to post some sweet gun pics right in the middle of another school shooting,” journalist Parker Molloy tweeted, referencing Jones’ belief that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 was a “false flag” operation planned by anti-gun government forces.

“What a ghoul,” the journalist added.

Can we show that?


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wow, you know Alex, timing is everything, and you lost big time. And he loses even further because this is who he chooses to blame. Yup, it’s us.

It took no time at all for the right to start peddling lies, half-truths, and misinformation in the wake of Wednesday's school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida—a massacre that took the lives of 17 students and adults who had committed the grevious sin of getting up and going to school that day.

Alex Jones, the lead-supplement-pushing conspiracy theorist and professional yeller behind InfoWars, blamed the Democrats.

The Democrats have been caught in false flags before. I'm not saying this is a false flag but they've been talking about massacres and things if people don’t leave them alone, and release the memo. So, if there are massacres and they keep threatening massacres, that makes them suspects when they’ve been threatening massacres. And who what mentally-ill person they’ve wound up or what’s happening or was this gang related. We don’t know. The media will say that I said it’s a false flag and the Democrats did it. I did not say that. We’re simply questioning the long history that these folks have.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

It’s now time for:

Whew, man, I need a drink this week. This week got particularly dark. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with KFC? A Bloody Mary with chicken nuggets? No thanks I think I’ll stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. So this week while Cape Town recently received the alarming news that its’ city only has a finite supply of drinkable water left, our friends in the UK are facing a shortage that’s equally as alarming.

More bad news for KFC fans: A chicken shortage that has closed hundreds of stores in the UK could last all week.

The fast food chain was forced to shut restaurants across the country after a logistics snafu hit chicken deliveries.

As many as 800 of about 900 KFC locations were closed on Monday. Roughly 600 locations remained closed at lunchtime on Tuesday.

"Each day more deliveries are being made, however, we expect the disruption to some restaurants to continue over the remainder of the week, meaning some will be closed and others operating with a reduced menu or shortened hours," a KFC spokesperson said in a statement emailed to CNN.

In a message posted on its UK Twitter account, KFC said "our teams are working round the cluck" to reopen all restaurants.

Damn straight! And I mean come on people it’s fucking KFC! At least in America when we eat shit it’s because it’s late at night, we’re drunk, and that’s usually the last recourse before vomit. But seriously people don’t go and create chaos. That’s what the Joker does!

"The chicken crossed the road, just not to our restaurants," KFC said on Twitter.

"We've brought a new delivery partner onboard, but they've had a couple of teething problems - getting fresh chicken out to 900 restaurants across the country is pretty complex!" it added, apologising to customers for the inconvenience.

"We won't compromise on quality, so no deliveries has meant some of our restaurants are closed, and others are operating a limited menu or shortened hours."

The statement listed KFC restaurants that were still open despite the problems.

The distribution network uses software developed by the firm Quick Service Logistics (QSL).

Well, at least it’s good to know that there’s no shortage of bad puns in the UK. And it’s also good to know that they won’t compromise on quality. But really people don’t get the police involved. They have much more important things to do than to fulfill your cravings for grease.

There was panic on the streets of London as the 'KFC crisis' rolled into its fourth day, with more than half of its 900 UK stores closed due to a chicken shortage.

Frustrated chicken lovers were resorting to calling the police, who warned "fried chicken is not a police matter", as well as contacting their MPs.

Staff keen to get back to work reportedly took matters into their own hands, and KFC told The Telegraph it is "urgently investigating" an incident in Kent, where workers were seen smuggling what looked like meat from the local butcher into the back door of the premises. The chain is also looking into reports that staff members in West London, approached a local butcher to ask for all their chicken stock.

The fried chicken company has said it has strict food safety policies in place, and staff should not be taking chicken from local butchers.

Well the chicken from the local butchers is probably a step up in quality. I mean it’s fucking KFC people! At least in America we know shitty food is shitty food, and you know what? We’ll eat it anyways because that’s what we do here. And you know what? When one place runs out of shitty food we go to the next place that serves shitty food. Because it’s late, we’re hungry, and we don’t give a shit! It’s the American way, damn it! At least in Europe you have the option of eating much better food because they banned high fructose corn syrup. Or maybe not.

People took to social media to vent their frustration at the issue, while some also made light of the supplier problem.

Andrew Penfold said: “I think the Colonel should be demoted to Sergeant.”

Adam Thorpe said: “Bad times for a KFC lover here in sunny Ipswich.”

While Bee Giles tweeted: “Every cloud has a silver lining. Bin those calories.”

Well if there is a plus side there is also no shortage of quality jokes in the UK! And really how much fried chicken can you eat, UK? But for every quality joke there is always a bad pun that comes after it.

The UK is KFC's largest market in Europe, and one of its top five globally.

Franchisees operate 95% of KFC's outlets in the country. The company said Monday that it would pay its staff as normal, and it was encouraging franchisees to do the same.

KFC did not say whether it would compensate its franchisee operators for lost business.

KFC fans have used social media to complain and express their amusement this week over a chicken restaurant running out of its signature product.

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #5: Russia
[br] [/font]

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]Russia[/font]

Ah, stupid Youtube copyright laws. I wanted to include the Beatles’ classic tune “Back In The USSR” because that would be perfect for this entry. Of course you know Russia. It’s all over the news right now because of one man: Robert Mueller. Who we will get to in a minute. But first it is always our duty to tell you more about Russia. Russia is the single largest country in the free world. Its’ major cities include Sochi, St. Petersburg, Vladviostock, and of course the capital Moscow. It’s the home to the national airline Aeroflot, which also owns and operates many Russian manufactured aircraft and that includes Russian manufacturers Illyushin, Tupolev, and Yakolev, and it’s also the home of the world’s largest aircraft currently in operation – the Antonov AN-225! Now as far as landmarks go, Moscow is the home of a world wonder – the Kremlin. It’s also the home of the Trans-Siberian Railway – as once famously profiled in Agatha Christie’s classic novel and recent flick starring Josh Gad and Kenneth Branagh – Murder On The Orient Express. Russia is also the home of Red Square – at one point the center of Russian activities which included military parades (something Trump loves) and public executions – something Trump doesn’t say he loves but probably thinks it. But what else is Russia the home of? Why it’s the home of a whole lots of people about ready to go down!

Thirteen Russians have been criminally charged for interfering in the 2016 US election to help Donald Trump, the office of Robert Mueller, the special counsel, announced on Friday.

Mueller’s office said 13 Russians and three Russian entities, including the notorious state-backed “troll farm” the Internet Research Agency, had been indicted by a federal grand jury in Washington DC.

A 37-page indictment alleged that the Russians’ operations “included supporting the presidential campaign of then-candidate Donald J Trump ... and disparaging Hillary Clinton,” his Democratic opponent.

Mueller alleged that Russian operatives “communicated with unwitting individuals associated with the Trump campaign”, but the indictment did not address the question of whether anyone else in Trump’s team had knowingly colluded.

Rod Rosenstein, the deputy attorney general, said at a press conference in Washington: “There is no allegation in this indictment that any American had any knowledge.” Rosenstein added that the charges did not mean the Russian activity had an effect on the outcome of the election.

Thank you minions! And then there’s this where the infamous Troll Bot Army finally has a name – they’re called the “Internet Research Agency”.

The Department of Justice’s Deputy Attorney General, Rod Rosenstein, has announced a sweeping indictment of 13 Russian citizens, and several corporate entities they’re connected to, as part of an attempt to interfere in U.S. elections, at least as far back as 2014 and including the 2016 presidential race. The accusations against the defendants include the following: (1) They operated fake Facebook pages; (2) They committed identity theft for the purposes of electoral interference; (3) They enteried the U.S. on false pretenses; (4) They contacted the Trump campaign without revealing their connections to a hostile power; (5) They tried to stage rallies, discourage people from voting, and laundered money through U.S. banks.

All of this was done under the auspices of the blandly named “Internet Research Agency.” And this isn’t the first time the Internet Research Agency has been embroiled in international affairs. Here’s what you need to know about Russia’s social media propaganda operation:

The Internet Research Agency was first discovered in 2013: Located in St. Petersburg’s Olgino district, the Internet Research Agency was first uncovered by Russian journalists in 2013. It’s not Russia’s only trolling and propaganda operation on the internet, but it became so synonymous with Russian propaganda operations that even those located elsewhere are called “trolls from Olgino.”

Oh come on, guys! Nothing good has the words “IRA” associated with it! And this begs the question – which came first? The troller or the trollee? And if you troll the trollers, does that make you a troll as well? But hey! You know foreign elections aren’t the only thing Russia has targeted. They’re also going after hockey games!

GANGNEUNG, South Korea — Russia's presence at the Pyeongchang Olympics — technically the Olympic Athletes from Russia, as named by the IOC — has been controversial.

It continues to be.

On Friday Russian President Vladimir Putin made an appearance ... well, his likeness did.

During a game between Slovenia and Russian athletes, fans in one corner of the Gangneung Hockey Centre unfurled two large banners featuring Putin’s face.

After around 10 minutes, arena security and police intervened and the banners were rolled up.

One read, “No one is stronger than Russia in winter sports,” and the other seemed to be a message of support from Korean practitioners of the Russian martial art of sambo. It wasn’t immediately clear who had brought them in.


You know what else Russia is the home of? It’s the home of an Olympic doping scandal that got the whole country disqualified from multiple games. And you know what? They’re doing it again! I mean you can’t keep a good addict from doing their thing!

GANGNEUNG, South Korea — Fans of curling at the PyeongChang Winter Olympics describe the sport as cerebral, calculating and generally genteel. If you're wanting feats of physicality, they say, head over to the mountain for freestyle skiing.

However, Monday's announcement that Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky — the winner of a bronze medal last week with wife Anastasia Bryzgalova in the mixed-doubles competition — is suspected of doping after failing a preliminary drug test has sent shockwaves through a sport not commonly associated with scandal.

"It's a little different than like cross country or something where you're going full whirl all the time. There's more finesse and you don't always need your brute strength," American curler Matt Hamilton, who beat Russia in a mixed-doubles round at these games but failed to medal, told "Today."

Oh and come on it’s curling! It’s the only sport where your opponent can literally quit and walk off the court in the middle of the match! Just… fuck it, I’m done! Speaking of that, even Russians themselves are sick of the election meddling scandal and wish it would go away. Well, they kind of brought it on themselves.

Russians aren't laughing their anythings off.

The day after President Trump tweeted about Russians "laughing their asses off" in response to American investigations of tampering in the 2016 presidential election, the Kremlin on Monday reacted with a distinct lack of hilarity to the indictments of 13 Russians in connection with carrying out an illegal "information warfare" campaign.

"First of all, we didn't see any substantial evidence of someone interfering in their domestic affairs," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters on a conference call. "We still insist such evidence lacks foundation."

For many Russians, the U.S. accusations have simply become tiresome. Many dismiss the idea that their government could be powerful enough to weaken American democratic institutions.

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

I’d say how I really feel about Russia but come on we’re not going to judge the people of this country based on how shitty their leaders are! I mean what would that make us?

Tourism: C
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: D-

Overall: D-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

This is it! Next week is the very last World Tour stop ever! We are officially going to retire this bit forever, but before we do – we are going to do something unprecedented. Yes, we are going to put our own country through our World Tour filter – and we are coming home to visit the United States!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Future[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, representing the ATL, his latest album is called “HNDRXX”. Playing his song called “Mask Off”, give it up for the one, the only Future!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


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