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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 89,338

Journal Archives

Drunk teenager gets stuck in high chair, requires fire fighters to use jaws of life

Firefighters are used to dealing with some strange emergencies, from rescuing cats from trees to freeing children's heads from railings. So when they were called to rescue a teenage girl from a baby's high chair on Sunday, they knew it wasn't a hoax.

In fact, Amber Jackson, 19, was partying with friends when they dared her to pose for a picture after jumping in the toddler seat.

After being stuck for 'some time' and developing pins and needles in her legs, the teenager had to call 999 for help.


Man accidentally falls into toilet pit at Carters Lake

Man trapped in toilet pit at Carters Lake

From Staff Reports

An elderly man was taken to Murray Medical Center after being trapped at the bottom of a deep toilet at Carters Lake for a little over an hour over the weekend.

A spokeswoman for the district that covers the U.S. Corps of Engineers property confirmed the man fell five feet into the toilet pit.

The toilets appear normal from the outside, but rather than being hooked to a plumbing system, the seats open to a hole where the refuse is treated and left to decompose. Spokeswoman Lisa Parker said the man reportedly stood on the toilet, rather than sitting down, causing him to slip and fall in.


Bart Simpson appears before Judge Mr. Burns

Company director called Bart Simpson appears before judge named MR BURNS

A man called Bart Simpson has appeared before a judge called MR BURNS.

Company Director Barton Simpson, 56, denies possessing a prohibited firearm at Birmingham airport on May 31 last year.

This week Simpson, of Eccleshall, Staffordshire, stood trial in front of Mr Recorder Burns at Warwick Crown Court.



Guy builds air powered engine for 25 year old car

If you're looking for the car of the future, look no further than Peter Dearman's rusty, 25-year-old Vauxhall Nova.

A beer keg sits in the messy trunk. Pipes run through the middle of the car, which is littered with wrenches and loose bolts. Under the hood, a red, plastic garbage can holds anti-freeze that spills over the sides and a piece of wood holds, well, everything else together.

But look beyond the homemade at what's not there: no gas, no batteries. The Dearman engine -- which sounds like a high pitched golf cart -- is powered only by liquid air. This may be the greenest car on the planet.

"We're starting to run out of fossil fuels now. We've got to do something," said Dearman, a full-time inventor. "Hopefully this offers a solution."


Believe it or not I'm running on air, I never thought I could be so free... come on sing it with me!

British man born without penis will have new one made using skin from arm

WITH his good looks and charming patter, it’s easy to see why Andrew Wardle is a hit with the ladies.

But while he has slept with more than 100 women, there is a secret he has kept from all his admiring pals — he was born without a penis.

Andrew’s birth defect has caused him mental anguish, even driving him to the brink of suicide.

But now he is preparing for ground-breaking surgery which will see him become one of the first men in the world to have an entirely new penis built from his own arm.

Speaking to The Sun, the 39-year-old said: “I never thought this day would come and I still can’t believe it is possible for me to actually have a fully functioning penis.

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/real_life/4845688/andrew-wardle-born-without-penis.html#ixzz2NuNVLLXp

Woman calls 911 to report abandoned baby - actually a puppy. Operators think human.

Candice Salvatore Called 911 To Report 'Abandoned Baby' - A Puppy Baby: Police

Police in Staten Island, N.Y. received a call from a woman Tuesday afternoon reporting an "abandoned baby" outside her home, and were less than amused when they discovered it was an abandoned baby pit bull.

Candice A. Salvatore, who made the 911 call, told the Staten Island Advance that she frequently refers to animals as "babies."

"I wasn't thinking that they would think it was an actual infant," the 27-year-old told the Advance. "I didn't tell her it was a human baby. I just said it was a baby."

The police report, however, quotes Salvatore as saying she called the animal a "baby" because "I needed to spice it up to get you guys to come faster.


Should have thought that through BEFORE calling 911!

The two single worst excuses for human beings alive.

Newt Gingrich on child labor laws today:

Former House speaker Gingrich last month described some child labor laws as "stupid" and argued that low-income children would learn critical values by working at a younger age. He then outlined his proposal to replace "unionized janitors" with a "master janitor" and several students.

"It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid," Gingrich said during a speech at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. "Saying to people you shouldn't go to work before you're 14, 16. You're totally poor, you're in a school that's failing with a teacher that's failing."

From the same article, Newt's position on child labor in 1996:

But in a 1996 ad titled "Cookie," Gingrich slammed his then-congressional opponent, Michael Coles, former CEO of Great American Cookie Co., as an "unscrupulous businessman" partly because of a 1993 violation of child labor laws and accused him of using children "for hazardous labor," according to a transcript of the ad in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.


Hypocritical piece of crap to the very core. He is not fit to be our commander in chief.
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