Amaryllis
Amaryllis's JournalPaul Ryan Sets Google News Alert for the Moment When Trump Becomes Unpopular Enough to Betray
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House Speaker Paul Ryan has set a Google News alert to notify him of the instant that Donald Trump becomes unpopular enough to turn against, Ryan revealed on Thursday.
The news alert, which Ryan said was set to the phrase “Trump approval rating falls below fifty per cent among Republican voters,” will inform the House Speaker of the precise moment “that I can bail on President Trump at no political cost to me,” Ryan explained.
“There’s this sense out there in the media that Washington is consumed by drama and nothing is getting done,” Ryan told reporters. “I think it’s important for people to know that important things are, in fact, getting done, and setting this Google News alert is one of those things.”
Asked by a reporter when he anticipated turning on Trump, Ryan dismissed that as a hypothetical question, adding, “There is no timetable for my inevitable betrayal of him. Once I receive that Google News alert, it will most likely happen a split second after that.”
Ryan ended his press conference by reassuring the American people that he is hard at work for them. “I am checking my phone every ten—and sometimes every five—minutes,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
More»
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/paul-ryan-sets-google-news-alert-for-the-moment-when-trump-becomes-unpopular-enough-to-betray?mbid=nl_051817%20Borowitz%20Newsletter%20(1)&CNDID=49083371&spMailingID=11060430&spUserID=MTgzMjI2MTM1NTc2S0&spJobID=1161586503&spReportId=MTE2MTU4NjUwMwS2
Things Are So Bad That Fox News Couldnt Find A Republican To Come On The Air To Defend Trump
So this is why Fox was covering inconsequential stuff...
After the news of the Comey memo had broken, Fox News could not find a single Republican member of Congress who was willing to go on the conservative news network to defend Trump.
With no Republican member of Congress willing to go on air to defend Trump, Fox quickly moved to Plan B, which was to talk about anything other than the Comey memo.
snip
When Fox News did talk about the scandal, they declared it “fake news,” speculated that Comey made up the memo, and Sean Hannity attacked the Washington Post.
In three hours of primetime coverage, those were the only mentions of a scandal that is growing to Watergate level proportions by the day.
The reason why Fox News is getting creamed by MSNBC in the demo is that they are ignoring big news stories that the other networks are covering. Last week, three MSNBC shows were #1 with age 25-54 viewers in their respective time periods: “The Rachel Maddow Show” at 9 pm, “The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell” at 10 pm, and “The 11th Hour with Brian Williams” at 11 pm.
It really is so bad for Republicans that they are refusing to show their faces on friendly Fox News to defend Trump.
When Republicans won’t defend Trump on Fox, it is a sign that his presidency is sinking fast, and members of the GOP majority are heading for the lifeboats.
http://www.politicususa.com/2017/05/17/bad-fox-news-find-republican-air-defend-trump.html
Obama Willing to Serve as Temp President While Trump Receives Psychiatric Evaluation
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Amid concerns about Donald Trump’s fitness to be President, former President Barack Obama said on Tuesday that he was willing to serve as “temp President” while Trump undergoes psychiatric evaluation.
“It would just be a temp thing,” Obama told reporters. “As soon as psychiatrists determine that Donald Trump is mentally stable and fit to serve as the most powerful officeholder in the world, I’d step aside.”
Obama said that he was a “logical choice” to serve as temp President because of his eight years in the White House. “For starters, I know how the light switches work,” he said.
Obama said that, once installed as temp President, he would look after the day-to-day running of the White House: “You know—vetoing bills, naming Supreme Court Justices, that kind of thing.”
Asked how he envisioned his working relationship with Vice-President Mike Pence, Obama said, “I think Mike has been working so darn hard, he really deserves a vacation. Joe Biden has said he’ll fill in for a while.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-willing-to-serve-as-temp-president-while-trump-receives-psychiatric-evaluation
Adam Schiff: "GOP all want something from this president before the wheels come completely off."
I posted this video discussion between Schiff and Mahar on Saturday. Schiff says a lot of great stuff, but I thought it worth focusing on this particular statement of his, given how there are constantly posts questioning what it will take for the GOP to have enough to do something:
"Republicans all want something from this president before the wheels come completely off the wagon. They want their tax cuts, etc. and then they'll find their spine."
Nothing we don't know, but as usual, Schiff makes it very clear what the game is. Seems like a dangerous game to play...counting on getting out before the wheels come completely off. That is a hard prediction to make.
Three Russian Spies Meet in the Oval Office (Borowitz)
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Three men alleged to be prominent Russian spies inexplicably gained access to the Oval Office last week and held a high-level meeting there, according to reports.
Eyewitnesses to the meeting said that the three Russian agents spoke at length and shared sensitive intelligence material, at times laughing uproariously.
After approximately an hour, the meeting broke up, with two of the spies leaving the Oval Office and the third remaining behind.
News that agents of the Russian Federation had somehow eluded the Secret Service in order to hold a meeting in the Oval Office sent shock waves through Washington on Monday evening.
“The fact that three well-known Russian agents were able to hold a meeting in the Oval Office suggests that something has seriously broken down,” Harland Dorrinson, a national-security official who served in the Reagan and Bush Administrations, said. “None of these three men should be anywhere near the White House.”
On Capitol Hill, House Speaker Paul Ryan called the meeting of the three Russian spies at the White House “a tempest in a teapot” and “much ado about nothing,” before adding, off-microphone, “I am screwed. I am so screwed.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/three-russian-spies-meet-in-the-oval-office
Hannity's Interview With Kris Kobach Proves Election Commission Is About Voter Suppression
Sean Hannity’s interview with Kris Kobach, who was chosen as vice chair on President Donald Trump’s commission on “election integrity,” was filled with myths about voter fraud, voter intimidation, and undocumented immigrants, confirming that the entire commission is really about finding ways to suppress voter access.
On May 11, Trump signed an executive order establishing a bipartisan “Presidential Commission on Election Integrity” tasked with investigating alleged voter fraud in the voting system. It was announced that Vice President Mike Pence and Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach will serve as chair and vice chair of the commission. Kobach has a history of extremism, ties to white supremacists, and promotion of misinformation on immigration and voting issues. During a May 11 an interview on Sean Hannity’s radio program, Kobach promoted multiple debunked myths about the issue of voter fraud, including the racist, bogus story about ‘voter intimidation’ at a polling place in Philadelphia.
snip
"KRIS KOBACH: So what this order does is something that’s never really been done before and that is establishing national nationwide entity to collect data on the issue of voter fraud and election integrity. I have seen examples and many cases of voter fraud in Kansas and that’s one of the reasons we adopted photo ID laws and proof of citizenship laws. You know, I only see what’s in my state, and other secretaries of state and election officials only see what’s in their state and this commission will gather data on a nationwide level and present facts to inform the debate and inform the public of how big this problem is, what the numbers are and people can draw their conclusions and we’ll go where the facts lead us."
snip
more here:
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/05/11/hannitys-interview-kris-kobach-proves-election-commission-about-voter-suppression/216416
Clapper On Trump: "Our Institutions Are Under Assault"; calls on GOP to "speak up"
WASHINGTON ― Former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper said Sunday that “our institutions are under assault internally” by President Donald Trump, who is “eroding” the American system of “checks and balances” on political power.
“The developments of the past week are very bothersome, very disturbing to me,” Clapper told CNN’s Jake Tapper. “I think in many ways, our institutions are under assault externally and that’s the big news here, is the Russian interference in our election system. And I think as well, our institutions are under assault internally.”
Tapper asked Clapper if “internally” indicated Trump. “Exactly,” Clapper responded.
snip
“I feel as though that’s under assault and is eroding,” Clapper said, adding that congressional Republicans should publicly condemn the president’s recent activities. “I hope they’ll speak up,” he said.
Clapper lied to Congress in 2013 about the Obama administration’s mass surveillance activities, infuriating some Democrats and libertarian-leaning Republicans, some of whom called for the government to pursue perjury charges against him.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/james-clapper-donald-trump_us_59186cd7e4b00f308cf5dab1?i7&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009
Schiff to Mahar: Trump not only disaster for US but dimming the beacon of hope for rest of the world
Excellent discussion between Schiff and Bill Mahar on Trump/Russia.
"Rs all want something from this president before the wheels come completely off. "
Rep. Adam Schiff (Calif.), the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, offered high praise for Sen. John McCain on Friday, saying the Arizona Republican's vocal criticism of President Trump marks his "finest hour."
"I think frankly this is John McCain's finest hour," Schiff said on HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher."
"Probably his most important public service since Vietnam is what he is doing now. I wish we had more Republicans in the House, or maybe even one in the House, who is willing to follow his example."
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/333260-schiff-this-is-john-mccains-finest-hour
''It isnt a game.'' Chris Wallace and Shep Smith tear into Trump's troubling actions (FOX!!!)
This is FOX and it's excellent- surprising from them:
Published on May 12, 2017
Chris Wallace and Shep Smith on Friday were perplexed by the recent developments in the ongoing Donald Trump/James Comey saga, with the hosts noting the president’s actions only serve to erode the trust of the American people
The pair discussed the stunning exchange between Reuters reporter Jeff Mason and White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer; during that back and forth, Spicer declined—three times—to say Trump is not secretly recording conversations in the Oval Office.
“When I heard that exchange today between Jeff Mason and Sean Spicer, speaking from the podium in the briefing room for the president of the United States, it took my breath away,” Wallace said.
Wallace said it’s possible Trump is simply “trolling the press corp, and working them into a frenzy about all this,” adding, “but, why would he do that? Why would he want to decrease the credibility—which is already in question—of this White House.”
Profile Information
Member since: Mon Nov 29, 2004, 10:18 PMNumber of posts: 9,524
