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Gender: Female
Member since: Fri Nov 26, 2004, 05:56 AM
Number of posts: 27,261

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my heart goes out to you

it's hard to lose one we love and the adjustment to their absence takes time
i lost my little furkid (dog) back in june and still have a hard time over the fact that she is not here with me.

stewie sounds very unique with an adorable personality that was greatly appreciated. you were lucky to have each other. and i'm very sorry for such a loss. i suspect the days ahead won't be easy.

i post a lot in the bereavement group
i began posting there about my mom who passed several years ago but i have also posted about my furry little girl who made my world better and left my world so empty after her departure.

leave this thread here in the lounge--no one will object and i've seen other bereavement threads here. but if you would like to make a double post of this, or just come visit, you'll find the bereavement group here:

again, my condolences. take care.

i did that when we had a major snowstorm a few years ago

it was the first winter she came to live with me (she was a rescue dog, ten years old) and i made a huge path around the yard. the snow was over three feet high and she was a little dog. but she LOVED the path and i'd put her leash on her (she was used to a leash i guess) and she would RUN so fast and i'm trying to keep up with her! it was so funny, so wonderful--it was heaven...

still not sure if this is "shitty" or just fun bubble gum music

i remember riding bikes (in the street) with a friend and we were singing this song as loud as we could on a nice summer day (no hands on the handlebars!)

it was enough of a memorable moment that i took it with me for all these years, since 1969.

(little did i realize, in that minute or two of happiness and exhilaration, that i was in the process of creating an unforgettable memory--that's kinda cool actually)

if i could be where you are

i ran into this song by accident
(there are no accidents)
never heard it before but
thought it was very appropriate for this part of my life that i share here. it's by enya

this was the first new year's eve i've spent alone. the past two or three i at least had my baby furkid. but this time there was no one all evening--my daughter got home around 1 or 1:30. but i had lots of time to myself (not necessarily a good thing on such a holiday--it was also the anniversary of my father's passing a long time ago)

so i popped a cork on the martini & rossi asti bottle and drank it across the course of the evening, made a pizza, watched a couple movies, and tried so hard not to think too much. fell into one crying jag for awhile and then it passed.

this was also the first time i didn't have the new year's eve shows on or watch a countdown when i was at home. my "clue" that the year had changed was the flash of light through a window before the explosion of holiday fireworks from the neighborhood.

and here i am, a holiday survivor -- as are we all.
and while i'm glad the year is over i dread the new year.
"it was better before" has become my new motto
my glass is no longer half full or half empty. it is empty. and when i refill it (which i will literally do when i'm done with this post) it will continue to be figuratively empty.

and how did the changing of the year go for everyone else?

i liked it better before. n/t

"Enjoy all your furry ones while you can!"

i did
i lost my little one in june
and nothing is the same

i'm sorry for your loss.

so beautifully put, kesha

it's been a busy day, hectic at times, so much to preoccupy me--but the distance between me and my immediate surroundings remain. off and on all day, in the background, my thoughts turn and linger for a moment or two in a place that feels no where near where i physically am. and i wait for the day to end.
after hours of this preoccupation and pretense i am finally alone.
it's a relief.
and the night crashes in on me.
alone with my memories and sorrows
and i come here.

thank you for your loving thoughts, your kind and gentle words, your sympathy, your understanding, your compassion.

the memories we have for those we loved and still love are golden treasures -- they are the bittersweet gifts that are left for us and we open them gladly, gratefully, and yet would trade them all in a heartbeat for just one more day together.

and the night crashes down.

i've been thinking of you on and off tonight (for the past couple of days actually)

sending you love and so unable to imagine going through what you've been through lately. i hope you are alright.

i want to tell you that you're not alone, he's with you still and so very sorry and has tried to comfort you (and i truly hesitate to say it because i don't want to overstep that line of polite sympathy posting so please forgive me but i feel strongly compelled to tell you that--so strongly that it is important enough for me to overstep that line tonight--again, please forgive me)

i'm very sorry for your loss

and, in case you ever need to talk, we have a bereavement group here (which i didn't know about until...well, until i needed it and went looking for a place to talk/vent/fall apart)

thank you, kesha

(i posted to you the other night but i guess the site or my computer was too slow--and the post never made it here)

i remember thinking (and writing to you) my thoughts about tears. i said:
i think tears are the sorrows of the soul.

tonight i found this quote:
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." --Washington Irving

thank you for your warm and kind thoughts.
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