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Member since: Fri Sep 17, 2004, 03:59 PM
Number of posts: 67,631

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April Fools?

Time for the DOJ to Expand Sanford Investigation-False Reports, Cover-Ups, Lies, Distortions

Once again, we have further evidence to suggest that Officer Tim Smith submitted a false police report. His report, which he filed at 3:29 AM on the night of the shooting, has the following exonerating information:

While I was in such close contact with Zimmerman, I could observe that his back appeared to be wet and was covered with grass, as if he had been laying on his back on the ground. Zimmerman was also bleeding from his nose and back of his head.

...Zimmerman was placed in the rear of my police vehicle and given first aid by the SFD [Sanford Police Department]. While the SFD was attending to Zimmerman, I over heard him state, "I was yelling for someone to help me, but no one would help me."

Every bit of this exonerating evidence appears to be false. None of it is corroborated by the police report of Ricardo Ayala that was submitted at 2:28 AM. The video of Zimmerman arriving at the police station a mere 34 minutes after the police arrived on the scene shows no evidence of blood on the head, nose, or clothing. It shows no evidence that Zimmerman had received any medical attention. There is no visual evidence of grass or wetness on his jacket. And the experts say that it was not Zimmerman crying for help on the 911 call. It is now time for the Department of Justice to expand their investigation:

Trayvon lawyers want U.S. to review prosecutor's role

...Lawyers for Martin's family are preparing a formal request that the federal government also investigate the specific report that state attorney prosecutors interfered with a homicide detective who wanted to charge Zimmerman with manslaughter.

"We are asking the Justice Department to investigate that," attorney Benjamin Crump, who has been retained by the Martin family as it pressures authorities to arrest Zimmerman, told Reuters late Saturday. "We are concerned about interference in the investigation."


...A separate report by TheGrio.com, unconfirmed by Reuters, said Wolfinger left his home the Sunday night of the shooting to meet with Sanford police in person.

"Why did he get out of his bed and go to the police station that night and overrule the lead investigator?" Crump said. "It doesn't fit well."


At last!—the full complexity of the quantum Romney.

at last!—the full complexity of the quantum Romney.

A Quantum Theory of Mitt Romney
Published: March 31, 2012

Fig. 1: The famous “Schrödinger’s candidate” scenario. For as long as Mitt Romney remains in this box, he is both a moderate and a conservative.


A bit of context. Before Mitt Romney, those seeking the presidency operated under the laws of so-called classical politics, laws still followed by traditional campaigners like Newt Gingrich. Under these Newtonian principles, a candidate’s position on an issue tends to stay at rest until an outside force — the Tea Party, say, or a six-figure credit line at Tiffany — compels him to alter his stance, at a speed commensurate with the size of the force (usually large) and in inverse proportion to the depth of his beliefs (invariably negligible)....

But the Romney candidacy represents literally a quantum leap forward. It is governed by rules that are bizarre and appear to go against everyday experience and common sense. To be honest, even people like Mr. Fehrnstrom who are experts in Mitt Romney’s reality, or “Romneality,” seem bewildered by its implications; and any person who tells you he or she truly “understands” Mitt Romney is either lying or a corporation.


Probability. Mitt Romney’s political viewpoints can be expressed only in terms of likelihood, not certainty. While some views are obviously far less likely than others, no view can be thought of as absolutely impossible. Thus, for instance, there is at any given moment a nonzero chance that Mitt Romney supports child slavery.


Hell yeah

BREAKING: Romney names running mate

SAT MAR 31, 2012 AT 01:37 PM PDT
BREAKING: Romney names running mate

by misterajc

The Romney campaign today announced a surprise pick for Vice President – Exxon Mobil Corporation. “This is a game changing decision, that will really energize the true Republican base: Koch Industries, Haliburton, Walmart, Bechtel, Fox and Shell BP,” said a Romney spokesman. “It's also a breakthrough for minority rights, as it's the first time a Corporate American had appeared on the ballot. With subsidiaries in fifty eight countries and puppet regimes in six, Exxon Mobil brings to the ticket foreign policy experience focused on the only countries that matter – the ones with oil.”

When questioned by reporters about the vetting process, the spokesman said that it had been completed in a record forty eight hours by Exxon Mobil staff. Asked about the possible conflict of interest, the spokesman revealed that Exxon had been vetted by the same Exxon public servants who wrote the Cheney administration's energy policy, so they were ideally qualified for vetting a Vice Presidential candidate.

Exxon Mobil is expected to self finance the campaign. “We would have paid for it anyway,” said their CEO, “But now we get a place on the ticket, too. I know there are some racists out there who don't think that Corporate Americans are real Americans, or even real people, but this election will prove them wrong.”

A spokesman for the Obama campaign said they were not commenting on the constitutionality of this announcement until they had seen Exxon Mobil's birth certificate.


In a similar vein (from the comments), this future newspaper clipping:
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