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smirkymonkey

smirkymonkey's Journal
smirkymonkey's Journal
December 17, 2020

Tried harder.

I have been a slacker all of my life. I have still done ok despite it all, but I would have liked to have achieved my full potential. I think I was just too afraid to fail at anything. I never really had to work hard to get by, so I didn't.

I wish I had moved to Europe and had become a historian or a professor of European history. I wish I had not been so afraid of financial insecurity and so afraid of leaving the security of the corporate world.

I did go back to graduate school for something I was minorly interested in (well, quite interested at the time), but realized that at I was not comfortable living without the perks and salary of a corporate job, so I went back. And ended up hugely in debt on top of it. Biggest mistake of my life and not very well thought through.

Most of all, I wish I had been true to myself, more authentic and more honest with myself and others. I have finally learned, but there were too many wasted years.

Oh, on edit: I would have gotten a dog. I still hope to have one someday. It is my greatest ambition in life.

Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Upstate New York, NYC
Home country: USA
Current location: Boston, MA
Member since: 2003 before July 6th
Number of posts: 63,221
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