After HUD Secretary Ben Carson’s embarrassing "Oreo” gaffe during his House testimony, Dulcé Sloan offers him some much-needed career advice.

Democrats ramp up their internal debate over whether to begin impeachment proceedings in the wake of Robert Mueller’s statement.

Real Time with Bill Maher guests - Friday, May 31, 2019
Real Time with Bill Maher continues its 17th season Friday, May 31 (10:00-11:00 p.m. live ET/tape-delayed PT), with a replay at 11:30 p.m., exclusively on HBO.

Presidential candidate and former Mass. Gov. William Weld is the top-of-show interview guest.

Filmmaker John Waters is the mid-show interview guest.

The roundtable guests are political analyst Kirsten Powers, political reporter Jonathan Swan and defense analyst Lawrence Wilkerson.

Journalist Rachel Louise Snyder explains the importance of understanding both abusers and the abused and discusses the cultural changes that have made people care about abuse.

Following weeks of commentary on the Mueller Report from pundits, politicians, and seemingly everyone but the special counsel himself, Robert Mueller finally makes a statement on the Russia investigation’s findings and the choice not to charge President Trump with a crime.

Trump’s visit to Japan is a mixed bag of friendly exchanges with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, smush-proof seats at a sumo wrestling match, and tensions over Trump’s support for North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

The Midwest and the South face an onslaught of tornadoes, a wild police chase involves an RV, Washington legalizes human composting, and Whitney Houston’s hologram goes on tour.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, took advantage of Donald Trump’s storming out of an Oval Office meeting on Wednesday to hide the nuclear codes, Pelosi has confirmed.

Moments after Trump threw a tantrum and abruptly left his own office, the quick-thinking Pelosi turned to Senator Charles Schumer, who was also present for the meeting, and said, “Chuck, we’ve got to find those nuclear codes and hide them.”

Pelosi and Schumer ransacked the Oval Office for the codes until Pelosi finally located them in a desk drawer under a pile of empty Quarter Pounder containers from McDonald’s.

Speaking to reporters on Thursday, the House Speaker refused to divulge her hiding place for the codes, but addressed widespread speculation that she had hidden them in a book.

“Believe me, that was my first thought,” she said. “But I checked the whole office, and there were no books.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/pelosi-takes-advantage-of-trumps-storming-out-of-oval-office-to-hide-nuclear-codes



Photograph by Al Drago / Getty

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