Gender: Female Hometown: NE New York Home country: USA Current location: Serious Snow Country :( Member since: 2003 before July 6th Number of posts: 155,797
Ronny Chieng explores climate change’s impact on the holidays, including the rising price of Christmas trees, the lack of reindeer lichen and the shortage of usable Prosecco grapes.
Lewis Black expresses his frustrations with Hallmark’s Hanukkah movies, Amazon’s Auschwitz-themed Christmas ornaments and the businessman who bought Hitler’s hat.
LYRICS TO LITTLE DUFFER BOY
(Lyrics by Don Caron - Music: Czech Folksong)
Come, he told them I’ll build you a wall
To stop the planes - it'll be five thousand feet tall
Because of tunnels it will have to be deep
If you believe him then you're sound asleep
counting the sheep
What the bleep?
Then he took a stick and whacked a white ball
that above all
He said I’ll give you all some tax relief
a question comes to mind in disbelief
turns out his tax break is for billionaires
I have to ask you now does that seem fair
pretending to care
then going somewhere
and golfing all that day and the next day too
his skills are few
"Repeal Obamacare" were his exact words
Seems like a clever way to thin the herd
It also frees up cash for billionaire friends
a new disbursement of our dividends
makes it all clear
where it all ends
But when you take some time to consider the source
It’s par for the course
Sometimes I wish he would golf all day
Prob’ly wouldn’t do so much damage that way
except we pay a lot whenever he goes
exactly what the bill is nobody knows
Quite a lot
you gotta suppose
It puts him where few golfers are
well below par
he’s well below par
Far below par.
some say sub-par
Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like the House democrats moving forward with impeachment against Donald Trump.
Gumby Returns
Gumby (Eddie Murphy) stops by Weekend Update to remind Michael Che and Colin Jost who he is, damn it.
Pete Davidson on Trump's Impeachment
Pete Davidson stops by Weekend Update to share his unique perspective on President Trump getting impeached by the House.
Christmas Joke Swap 2019
Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news and make each other read jokes they've never seen before live on air to close out 2019.
Jeanine Pirro on Fox News Handling Trump's Impeachment
Fox News host Jeanine Pirro (Cecily Strong) stops by Weekend Update to talk about celebrating Christmas and how President Trump's impeachment is a Democratic coup that will disappear.
