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Satire from Nov 15 2016: President-Elect Trump Arrested, Charged With Espionage In Stunning Reversal

By Marty Rudoy

Washington DC: Goodyear Satire Co.—

President-Elect Donald Trump was arrested on espionage charges today. The move comes just a week after he was elected President of the United States.

“The Russians compromised Trump by funneling Hillary’s emails through Wikileaks,” said FBI Director James Comey. “After the election, Vladimir Putin offered Trump an illegal license to build hotels along the Crimea River. Trump jumped at the chance.”

“The lure of a continent full of hotel maids whose private parts have never been groped excited Trump,” explained CIA director John O. Brennan. “Most embarrassing of all,” said Brennan, “Trump fell for the Crimea River joke.”

Trump, Chief of Strategy Steve Bannon and three white-hooded bodyguards were arrested after meeting what they thought were Putin agents. Trump personally handed the “spies” a fistful of documents and a gold pinkie friendship ring destined for Putin. The ring was engraved “Спасибо брат” - Russian for “Thanks Bro.”

the rest: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marty-rudoy/president-elect-trump-arr_b_12984420.html

"Gianforte" seems to be Italian for "scared of a question." -Karen Tumulty

Karen Tumulty @ktumulty

"Gianforte" seems to be Italian for "scared of a question."


Two Killed as Learjet Crashes Into New Jersey Buildings

Source: NBC NEWS

Two crew members were killed and several buildings were set ablaze when a Learjet carrying no passengers crashed Monday while trying to land at a New Jersey airport, authorities said.

The Federal Aviation Administration told NBC News that the plane, which was flying from Philadelphia International Airport, went down about a quarter-mile short of Teterboro Airport in Carlstadt, about 15 miles northeast of Newark, at 3:30 p.m. ET. Carlstadt police told NBC New York that neither crew member survived.

The airport, a major hub for general aviation in the New York region, was closed as thick smoke poured from the scene.

Read more: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/learjet-crashes-teterboro-new-jersey-warehouse-n759771

White House claims they were fooled, suckered, or hoodwinked by the Russians today.

From WAPO:

Presence of Russian photographer in Oval Office raises alarms
By Carol Morello and Greg Miller May 10 at 9:23 PM

A photographer for a Russian state-owned news agency was allowed into the Oval Office on Wednesday during President Trump’s meeting with Russian diplomats, a level of access that was criticized by former U.S. intelligence officials as a potential security breach.

The administration official also said the White House had been misled about the role of the Russian photographer. Russian officials had described the individual as Lavrov’s official photographer without disclosing that he also worked for Tass.

“We were not informed by the Russians that their official photographer was dual-hatted and would be releasing the photographs on the state news agency,” the administration official said.

As a result, White House officials said they were surprised to see photos posted online showing Trump not only with Lavrov but also smiling and shaking hands with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

More, behind paywall: http://wapo.st/2pzcErx (or disable javascript in your browser)
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