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Gender: Female
Home country: USA
Current location: Long trip
Member since: 2003 before July 6th
Number of posts: 4,740

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Notes from a level four country

I just got back from an alarming solo trip to a country on lockdown. I went as a privileged vaccinated person, this country (Brazil) has few vaccines, no plans, and is currently the epicenter of the covid. It was a short, urgent trip. This is really a poem.

There are days when the trees donít even sway because of the sinister cast to the day. You canít even call it calm, or peaceful, this state of not even moving.

During the birdsí activities, it must really be daunting, that tree that doesnít move; so much so that they donít even perch there, or maybe they know that the silence is necessary over there, so they go sing in another location.
But what was strange, fearful, and made no sense, ends up being revealing, because itís one of those silences that we need. The truth is, nothing was daunting or sad, everything was really on purpose, a bunch of facts conspiring in your favor.
In the normal state of the birds singing away, of the breeze that wraps around people, this mad dash of people breathing and surviving goes on, and the tragedies of a bunch of people leaving to never come back remains unnoticeable.

For a moment we even forget how long will this thing last, and until when will this martyrdom of a bunch of people losing their breath and disappearing off the map continue. And we even forget how many people we will never see again, because when youíre tired, it messes up your memory. The tiredness of missing that one, that one who was so close to us. It wears you out, it demands energy to keep on rolling the tape backwards, and seeing that special one ever so distant who still continues to be a reference and inspiration.
Now there is only room in your mind to keep on going, there is only space to fight and insist, and there is a very small corner way in the back of the hypothalamus, to give thanks for all of this. Because you canít wipe out the courage you have gained, and how much you became stronger, even though you have repeatedly suffered through every second.

The guy who loses a mother, a father, that favorite embrace, goes storming away, and even scores; that guy is us, and we have been escalated to tell stories. That guy is us, who will be offering what we have best. There is a purpose in that guy who is us; we will see those that have inspired us, and those places that enchanted us, it wonít be long.
From now on, everything that surrounds those guys that are us, has some gratitude, from the great conquest to continue our path; to walking on with the privilege to resist the losses and to anticipate a new horizon.
Gratitude always.

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