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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 67,414

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Ten things that you can teach your nine year old child before teaching them how to fire an Uzi

1. How to read
2. How to write
3. How to do arithmetic
4. How to clean a litter box
5. How to clean their own room instead of letting the nanny do it
6. How to fix their own damn sandwich and clean up afterwards
7. How to take the dog for a walk and clean up the poop instead of leaving it on the neighbor's lawn
8. How to clean period
9. How to take out the garbage
10. How to ask their parents if they're fucking morons for allowing their nine year old child to fire an Uzi which eventually killed shooting the instructor

I can guess what their answer would be...

Oh Shit!

Employers refuse to pay workers enough to live on, but cops arrest the workers when they complain


What do you so when you realize that your entire life was determined by the decisions of a teenager?

Panic, I guess?

Granny loves me...

No one Democrat...

Remember that.

You the bull…

From bad to worse...

By the way everyone, I'm tired and cranky now...

Been up all night working on show stuff for my show that playing right now.

If you want a piece of this crankiness, ask me any question while I'm still up.

This ought to be a laugh riot.
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