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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 45,434

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Here's my latest published newspaper article


My city, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, has an all-female parade performance group called the Blazen Divaz. This year's Big Trip for them was to the 6ABC Dunkin' Thanksgiving Day Parade in Philadelphia. I went with them to report on it, and the story is above.

The real reason Trump went to Walter Reed

After Governor Edwards beat Trumpist Eddie Rispone in the Louisiana governor’s race, our ersatz president reached for his phone and composed a scathing tweet accusing Rispone of being a Never Trumper, a Hillary Voter and a Closeted Democrat. According to the tweet, Rispone was responsible for Louisiana’s poor standing in the world, the Deepwater Horizon blow-out, and the bedbugs at Trump Doral.

Before Trump got a chance to press the Send button, his phone realized what Trump was about to do and detonated with the force of an 81mm mortar round. A large chunk of his phone struck Trump in the head with great force.

Trump’s minions immediately rushed him to Walter Reed to ensure the accident caused no lasting damage. They were relieved when the doctors informed them there was nothing in his head to damage.

Unfortunately, Trump hasn’t yet been placed on the “do not sell a phone to this man” list, so the damage will continue...just to the rest of us.

How to stop scammers from calling you

This is a script. It must be followed to the letter to have any effect.

A few days ago, I started getting phone calls from the “suspended Social Security Account” scammers. I know these guys just use a robodialer to dial at random until they find a mark.

I pick up the phone the first time. “This is a call from Social Security. We are calling to notify you that your Social Security account has been suspended due to several fraudulent transactions...” I hung up.

The second time: “This is a call from Law Enforcement Agency. We are calling to notify you that a warrant has been issued for your arrest in conjunction with fraudulent Social Security transactions.” Yeah, right mother fucker. I hung up.

The third time was a repeat of the first call. I let it play until a human operator came on the line, and then I yelled at the top of my lungs, “I KNOW THIS IS A FUCKING SCAM, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. DO NOT EVER FUCKING CALL ME AGAIN.”

There have been no further calls from them.

McDonalds CEO out for "consensual relationship" with an employee


(CNN) — Steve Easterbrook is out as McDonald’s CEO and president after the board determined that he violated company policy, the company said on Sunday.

Easterbrook, who became CEO in 2015, “demonstrated poor judgment involving a recent consensual relationship with an employee,” McDonald’s said in a statement.

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