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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 45,400

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How do we turn this place into a think tank?

Democratic Underground started in 2001. For many years it was the Internet's premier cat care forum.

In the last couple of years, we've become one of the best labor, civil rights, taxation and economics resources around...and it's starting to get noticed. There were many mentions of DU in the mainstream media during the election. They're noticing. We have the smartest people, the right side of the issues, and credibility. Pat yourself on the back.

Now we need to go all the way and form a public policy institute. Thinking out loud, we will need:

The first thing is to form research teams led by people with masters degrees in economics, public policy or business administration, or doctorates in things like medicine. Just to pick one name, Aristus is an MD and would be good to head a health policy team. Degrees confer legitimacy - important because many of us are self-educated in our fields of expertise. College doesn't necessarily make you smart; how many hundreds of people learned economics from Arthur Laffer? It does give a veneer of legitimacy.

We would need specific projects to work on.

We would need channels to get our work to the public; Rachel Maddow is one, maybe Joe Scarborough.

Are there any well-spoken, super smart, very beautiful DU women living in LA, New York, Atlanta, or the national capitol region? Like it or not, we have to contend with the reality of getting people on TV: great clothes, great hair and Fox Blonde makeup are now required to get you on.camera. You really think SE Cupp would be on television if she wasn't cute? DU women have so much more to offer, but it's got to be packaged properly. Basically, if you are a brainy head-turner and can get to a broadcast center within an hour let us know.

DU would need a folder to store downloadable position papers...we already have the equipment.

I will do the layouts on the papers we create.

We've got momentum. We have cred. And we're adventurers seeking a new adventure. Who's with me?

Holes in the Bible, episode 1: Genesis 1

The quickest way to tell if someone's susceptible to Christianity is to get out your sheep farming manual, turn it to Genesis 1, and hand it to your test subject.

If that person reads the chapter then throws the Bible at your head, he's immune.

Genesis 1 is the part where God made the earth and everything on or above it in six days. This is a fun chapter because God isn't completely psychopathic yet. Let me see...

On day 5, God was busier than a one armed paper hanger. He created all the animals, male and female. Day 6 was a light day. He made one thing: Adam. He made the apes on day 5 so, since the apes are similar to us, he had a good head start. But he only made one human! We know he was aware of the need for males and females when he made the orangutan, the lion, the sloth and the pigeon. We also know he was aware of the need for hermaphrodism when he made the earthworm. But in man, the crowning achievement, he only made one. Was Adam supposed to reproduce by budding?

And since Adam had no need for sex organs as, with no women around to make pregnant with them, why did God bother with them?

We know from our reading God eventually realized he fucked up and made a woman. Instead of just making one out of dust like he did with everything else, he hit Adam in the head, removed a pair of his ribs and made Eve from them. Why would he need to do that?

We can assume that Eve, because she was made from part of Adam, is in fact his sister. We should therefore find this passage, but don't: "Adam asketh the Lord, 'Lord, what shalt I call her?' And the Lord proclaimed from on high, 'She is called Eve. Since she was made from thine rib, she is your sister. As thou art fuckest thy sister, thou art a Redneck. As penance thou shalt buildeth a fine house. It shalt be ten cubits by fifteen. And it shall have a front porch. When thy house is done, I shalt createth the refrigerator. I will put the refrigerator on thy front porch, so thou will not have to go back in the house on hot days for a beer. Do thou hast questions, my son?" Adam looked up and asked, "what's beer?" And the Lord proclaimed from on high, "thou shalt findeth out."

That passage, sadly, isn't in there.

Where is Jimmy John's when you need him?

Arby's is running an ad campaign highlighting their freshly-sliced meat. I just saw a spot where "passersby" (whose hair and makeup are perfect but some people take pride in their appearance) are shown a video on an iPad of Subway's meat factory's slicing equipment.

It would be more impressive, of course, if Arby's didn't use mechanically formed meat.

Now, whatever atrocities Jimmy John's is guilty of (and they are legion), they do use roasts in the form they come off the animal...so what could be entertaining is seeing the reactions of people watching the hydraulic press that makes Arby's meat.

How do you decontaminate a sewing machine?

About six months ago I went to Goodwill looking for funky shit and found a sewing machine for $7.99. I have made six or seven things and some of them are really good - especially after I learned the directions that come with patterns are usually wrong.

Anyway, this year it's going to be homemade presents for all. My teabagger brother is getting a throw pillow to decorate his new truck.

When I went to the fabric store I was looking for cloth with Kenworth logos because the truck is a Kenworth. Before I found that, I saw some cloth with "Republican" written all over it. Yeah, that's him.

(I got it at Jo-Ann Fabrics, who also sells a cloth with "Democrat" all over it; I made the shirt I wear to Party functions out of that.)

So now I have this pillow that would be nice if it didn't have "Republican" written on it a hundred times, and a contaminated sewing machine. Should I wash my machine in bleach, wipe it down with alcohol, or donate it back to Goodwill and get a new one?

Idaho Teacher in Face-Marking Incident Faces Probe


Utne Reader Condensed Version: a fourth-grade teacher in Cassia County, Idaho (which is as far south as you can get in this state; it forms part of the Utah state line) offered her students the chance to choose their own incentive for meeting reading goals. The little bastards chose a punishment: anyone who didn't make the standard could either miss recess or let the rest of the class write on their faces with permanent markers. Nine kids didn't make the cut. Three chose to miss recess, the rest got written on.

It is not reported what the hell this teacher was thinking to agree to this, sorry.

Not enough justice: Karl Thompson gets 51 months federal time


Karl Thompson is one of seven Spokane police officers who beat janitor Otto Zehm to death in 2006. Yesterday he was given 51 months in federal penitentiary.

Where did this SE Cupp woman come from?

I have been a member of this august community for a while. Before President Obama was reelected, the right-wing talking heads we all discussed were stalwarts like Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Hannity and Coulter.

Since the election, the board has been inundated by posts about S.E. Cupp, who seems about as silly as All Of The Above put together. What happened?

Name something America needs

I will start: Low-piss beer. The problem with beer is, you go to a sports bar to have a pitcher with your friends and watch a game or a race, and the winning touchdown or the pass for the win always happens while you're in the men's room. We need a beer that doesn't do that to you.

It would help if it didn't also taste like piss.

Coburn's report highlights an ongoing Congressional problem

Congress has, for at least as long as there's been a Defense Department, used the defense budget as a way to fund all the bizarre shit they can't fund any other way. It's about a foot thick. It's Critical To Our Survival. And it contains immense numbers. With a billion.here and a billion there who's going to notice $5000 for a water ski safety film? Or $10,000 to study the mating.habits of rats?

The answer is to require Congresss justify in writing anything they try to add to the defense budget.

Easy tax for anyone making over $500,000

The GOP wants to maintain the Bush rates for the wealthy? Can do easy! 35 percent rate on the first dollar of anyone in the top bracket, capital gains taxed as ordinary income, and no deductions of any kind.
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