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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 43,128

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NBC reports Tom Steyer has ended his campaign


"Mad" Mike Hughes dies in crash of homemade rocket


You knew this was gonna happen.

Dear friends, it is my sad duty to report that Flat Earther "Mad" Mike Hughes, who gained fame a couple years ago by attempting to fly a steam-powered homemade rocket high enough to prove the earth is flat, tried it again today. This time, he was attempting to fly to 62 miles altitude apparently so he could photograph the absence of curvature. Unfortunately for Mad Mike, his recovery parachute ripped off the rocket shortly after he left the launcher. The parachute's deployment caused an "instability" in the vehicle that made it wave around in the breeze for its several-hundred-foot ascent. It then flipped over and dove straight into the ground near Barstow, Calif., where the event occurred. Mr. Hughes did not survive.

He was 64.

Why does it feel like Trump is on the verge of fleeing the country?

Presidents don't issue as many pardons as Trump just did in the middle of their terms. They just don't. They wait until the end of their terms and pardon a bunch of people just before Christmas.

I have a not-very-slight suspicion that Trump is going to issue one more batch of pardons that'll contain Roger Stone and everyone else he still likes, and then he'll resign and flee to Russia before his legal problems catch up to him.

The most important company in the vinyl record industry burns down

On February 5, 2020, the Apollo Masters facility was gutted by a huge fire that seems to have started in their chemical mixing area.

Apollo Masters is one of two companies in the world (the other is Japan’s MDC) that made the lacquer-coated aluminum discs used to cut record masters. From what I’m reading, 70 to 80 percent of the lacquers used in the music business were made by Apollo...and MDC says they can’t increase their production any.

I suspect that if Apollo reopens it won’t be in California; lacquer is a very environmentally UNfriendly product. The state had grandfathered in the old factory, but they won’t do the same for a new one.


NASCAR: Ryan Newman's injuries not life-threatening following scary Daytona 500 crash

Source: WESH TV, Orlando, FL

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — NASCAR driver Ryan Newman was involved in a horrific crash on the final lap of the 2020 Daytona 500.

Newman was wrecked while leading the race and crossed the finish line with his car on its roof, engulfed in flames.

Newman's car flipped, rolled, and was hit on the driver’s side by another car, before it slid across the finish line upside down.

Newman was taken to Halifax Health for treatment. Roughly two hours after the crash, NASCAR read a statement from Roush Fenway Racing that said Newman is in “serious condition, but doctors have indicated his injuries are not life threatening.”

Read more: https://www.wesh.com/article/daytona-500-ryan-newman-crash/30972164

This is Roush Fenway Racing's statement:

Daytona Beach, Florida (February 16, 2020) — Ryan Newman is being treated at Halifax Medical Center. He is in serious condition, but doctors have indicated his injuries are not life threatening.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers and ask that you respect the privacy of Ryan and his family during this time.

We appreciate your patience and cooperation and we will provide more information as it becomes available.


The most important scientific paper you will read today

“On the rheology of cats.” In which it is scientifically proven that cats are in fact liquid.


I can just imagine the Chiefs' White House visit

After eating enough cold hamberders to at least look polite, the Chiefs gather around Our Grate President...

"Mr. President, it is now time for the presentation ceremony. Under ordinary circumstances, we would have had an official jersey prepared with your last name and the number 45 on it.

"These are not ordinary circumstances. We received millions of emails and letters from residents of our beautiful state. Let me read one of them: 'Dear Coach Reid, I went out and bought a computer just so I'd be able to send you this...' and that's not the only message we got that said this very thing.

"Our fans and friends all across the state begged us, pleaded with us, to present to you what we are about to present.

"Mr. President, this is a map of Missouri with Kansas City circled in bright red Sharpie, and with a Chiefs logo right where Arrowhead Stadium is. We ask you to study this map and learn from it, so you might be able to learn that, regardless of the name of the city we are in, we don't play football in Kansas."

As seen in a Mexican newspaper...

So here I sat perusing the internet while waiting for a huge sign to print out, and I found this. Take it for what you will

- - - - -

Steady Work • High Pay • Great Danger
Mexican Ministry of Internal Security

The American president Donald J. Trump, who you should not call “estupido pendejo” even though he is, has recently begun a project to build a huge wall between our beautiful country and the United States. The construction firms selected to construct the wall were chosen for their corruption and willingness to give money to President Trump rather than their ability to perform the work. This has led to the terrible situation of the wall starting to collapse into Mexico.

President Obrador finds it unacceptable that Mr. Trump’s wall could collapse and crush a Mexican citizen to death, and has ordered the military to take steps to keep this from happening.

The Minister of Internal Security is now taking applications for people with the skill and bravery to install shoring along Mr. Trump’s wall to keep it from falling completely into Mexico.

Successful candidates will use flatbed tractor-trailer rigs, well-drilling equipment, concrete trucks, forklifts, cranes, scissor lifts and SMAW (stick) welding equipment to attach steel girders at a 45-degree angle between a well-placed footing and a bracket welded to the wall.

The length of this contract is Indefinite. The minister believes that because the wall is being built by corrupt contractors we will never be done propping it up.

Qualifications include one year of experience in any of the skills needed to construct this project. Applicants with multiple skills will be viewed favorably. All applicants must have been citizens of Mexico before Trump was elected.

Due to the multiple and extreme dangers presented by this work, which include high temperatures, water shortages, venomous and aggressive animals, President Trump’s supporters, and the everpresent risk of the wall collapsing on the workforce, the rate of pay is 1000 pesos per hour.

Interested persons should apply with resume at their local Army Recruiting office.

Discuss amongst yourselves...

Did Trump announce the repeal of the Obama-era school lunch reforms on Michelle Obama’s birthday in retaliation for the Obamas’ Oscar nomination?

Trump's first night

It seems that after the impeachment trial there was a criminal trial in which Trump was given twenty years in Sing Sing.

He arrived at the prison and was processed in, then was taken to his cell block to meet the shot caller.

“Mr. Trump, there is no violence or prison rape here so you can stop worrying about those things. But you’ve come on a special night.”

Later that night, Trump was lying in his bed still scared shitless when he starts hearing people yell out numbers. He went to the shot caller and asked him what was going on.

“We’re telling jokes. We’ve all been here so long we know all the jokes there are by heart, so we numbered them. Now we can tell a lot more jokes in one night. We’ll get you a copy of the list of jokes tomorrow.”

Trump thought that was a neat idea and decided to get in on the fun. So he screamed out at the top of his lungs, “fifty-six.”

No one laughed.

He screamed out “fifty-six” even’ louder. No one laughed.

Trump turned to the shot caller. “Is fifty-six a bad joke?”

“No, Mr. Trump, fifty-six is a really good joke. Problem is, some guys just can’t tell a joke.”
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