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Atticus

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 13,918

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If you're in need of a chuckle-------

An older couple approached the counter at a McDonalds and eyed the overhead menu. After whispered discussion, the man ordered "one hamburger, one small order of French fries and one small cup of coffee" He then asked for one extra cup and one plastic knife---"please"---and paid with cash.

Soon after they left the counter with the meal, the counter person summoned the manager and said, with a big grin, "You'll want to see this" as he gestured toward the frugal
pair.

The old man had already divided the burger exactly into equal halves and was now counting out equal portions of fries. When he finished the count, he poured half the coffee into the extra cup and pushed half a burger, half of the fries and a half cup of coffee over to his wife.

Touched by their meager circumstances and their devotion and loyalty to each other, the manager walked out to their booth and said "That was such a beautiful example of sharing! How long have you been together?"

"Fifty three years" the man replied as he took a big bite of the hamburger and then munched a couple of fries.

"Do you always share what you have?" the manager asked.

"Always" the man answered, despite a mouthful of fries and hamburger. "We always share everything!"

The manager then noticed that the wife's food had not been touched and inquired "Aren't you hungry?"

She flashed a tight-lipped smile and vigorously nodded in the affirmative.

The manager returned the smile and, gesturing toward her food, said "Well, what are you waitin' for?"

And, now, she smiled a broad toothless smile, nodded toward her chewing husband and exclaimed "Da TEEF!"

Some stress relief for Trump voters: take a deep cleansing breath, exhale and then---in front of

a mirror---say "I. Was. Wrong."

Repeat that a few times and notice that lightning did not strike, you did not burst into flames and there are no "militiamen" at your door.

Begin slowly and calmly saying those three words in public. You just could be the tiny snowball that starts accumulating more and more embarrassed Trump voters until the avalanche of common sense sweeps the GOP mountain side clean of HIM.

And, your shoulders will relax, your jaws will unclench and those nagging headaches may stop.

In his words: "What the hell do you have to lose?"

How 'bout this? The Biden inauguration committee could dedicate one of the Jumbotron

screens to display a scrolling list of the names of those of us who text our simple "Congratulations!" to Joe and Kamala on inauguration day, They could call it the "Here in Spirit" screen and this would allow a huge digital "crowd" to attend despite the pandemic.

Oh, and it just might enrage IT if the news media included these names in the size of President Biden's inaugural crowd.

Dear President-elect Biden: this is likely unnecessary advice, but it is well-intended.

IF---Donald Trump chooses to attend your inauguration in January, please be prepared to respond to classless inappropriate behavior on his part.

He may demand the microphone.

He may unfurl a "TRUMP 2024" flag on the stand.

He may just shake his head and roll his eyes as you address the crowd.

I would not presume to tell you what to say or how to react, but please, anticipate obnoxious behavior and mentally draw your "line" between what you will ignore and what will demand some comment.

Just one of the reasons we are so thankful you were elected is that we know we will soon have a POTUS we can TRUST to do and say what is appropriate.

Donald J. Trump---the "Man sure whinin' " candidate. nt

Any TV network---cable or otherwise---that broadcasts coverage of whatever MAGA shitshow

the Trump thugs orchestrate to detract from the Biden inauguration must be prepared to be boycotted by every thinking person in America.

Unfortunately, we may be in the minority.

---sigh------whimper------whine-----SOB! I don't know what we did to offend the Almighty, but it

must have been something pretty terrible------I mean, the prophetic promise was clear: Pat Robertson said God had told him Trump would win and we all know that Pat IS someone God speaks to on a regular basis---the man is RICH!

I have been living a pure and blameless life, so who was it that sinned such a sin that Pat's prophesy was overruled and -----Trump-----(sniff)-----lost---or,----what I meant to say----had the election STOLEN FROM HIM!

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ELECTION WAS RIGGED! WHO DOESN'T SEE HOW SUSPICIOUS IT IS THAT ALL THOSE BLACK PEOPLE VOTED? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT! AND, IT IS A MATHEMATICAL FACT THAT IF YOU THROW OUT ALL THOSE PHONY MAILED IN BALLOTS AND THOSE SUSPICIOUS BLACK VOTES, TRUMP WON BY A LANDSLIDE! THIS WAS A CONSPIRACY TO STEAL THIS ELECTION AND THEY WON IT---just------because they--------------------------got more -------votes.

---sigh---whimper---whine---SOB! Can't we----maybe---file SOMETHING in the courts? Can't some of those---"judges"---we bought and paid for help?

Pat? What's He saying now?

Pat?

To the pathetic troll who just got blued, screwed, tattooed and thrown back under the bridge: SEE:

(https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214631504)

womp!

Your transparent assholery only rates one lower case "womp".

Thanks, mods!

Is it any wonder Trump needs to wear Depends?

He's been wiping his ass with the U.S. Constitution for four years and any piece of paper that's 233 years old is bound to carry a few "bugs" on it.

I guess I will start a new religion.

I haven't got all of the details worked out yet, but its doctrine will be based on abhorring all things Trumpian.

We will not hire Trumpies. We will not rent to them, bake for them, or patronize any business owned by them or which employs them.

We will not only---of course---not vote for them, we will not recognize their legitimacy if they are "somehow" elected.

We will withhold taxes from any unit of government headed by one of them.

Should one of our faithful, in a fit of righteous indignation, do bodily harm to a Trumpie, we will say "of course we don't condone violence" as we wink.

And, should a Trumpian heathen criticize our treatment of them, we'll just refer them to the decision of Barrett et al yesterday in which they ruled that their view of Constitutional "freedom of religion" permits virtually any form of discrimination, so long as it is done with faux piety. Some might say that faux piety is my "long suit".

I'm open to suggestions as to my new religion's name. I was gonna go with "Our Lady of Hypocritical Motherfuckers", but some might find that "over the top".
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